the pain of love...
why does it hurt so much?

it hurts when your love ain't reciprocated. like when you have a crush on someone but you just can't say it.
it hurts when you watch your loved ones suffer. you'd wanna get back at that person or thing that's caused it, but it isn't always possible. and sometimes, the damage is irreversible.

why love, then?
just islolate yourself from the rest of the world. build a fortress around yourself, so that you can't hurt anyone, and more importantly, don't let anybody hurt you due to love or the lack of it.

right now, i just wanna hide in a corner and cry. i've only realised today that i don't have the courage to face reality. i simply can't face that feeling.

&let the music play on

i havent got a clue where this blog's heading, but i'll just update for now.
HAHAH.

school this year hasnt been anywhere near great. not that i expected it to be anyway. i started off real slack and even then the stress took its toll on me. fell sick like 3 weeks(?) ago and now i'm more or less okay save the fact that the skin on my palms has been peeling non-stop for the past week.

anyway, i was honestly quite motivated by the "chinese school" video. for those of you who've watched it, you know what it is. obviously i'm NOT gonna love my eraser more or look forward to the propaganda fed into my mind, but i'm gonna work hard. i'll TRY, that is. i can't and i shan't aim to be the top student, i dont intend to sleep at 12.30am every night or camp in the classroom until i'm chased out, but at least i hope to get my As and fare decent enough to be able to choose a nice course. don't think i'd go overseas. especially after my recent sickness i realise i'd probably die if i'm ill and alone somewhere.
& so i shall start mugging. how long it'll last is another matter though. but i should still get started. i dont wanna look back and regret.

&let the music play on

im really starting to dread each day. and it still is difficult getting on with my homework. im so dead, seriously...
anw i just finished watching IRIS. the ending was unexpectedly anti-climax. the main character died at the last scene, and they didnt even bother to explain what happened. it sure left me utterly disappointed... AHH what's with shows nowadays?

&let the music play on

I was looking for quotes for my GP research project, and i chanced upon these quotes:

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. Albert Camus
Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays. Soren Kierkegaard

&let the music play on

We had dinner at the handburger.. the food was okay though served cold and kinda salty. and the service was pretty bad. definitely not worth the 10% service charge. but at least we tried something different.

the christmas tree at takashimaya

and yepp. with our shopping bags=D

this one's with the reindeer along orchard road... the proportions looked kinda weird, but ohwell, it's just a fake for the sake of festivities.

and i hope ang wan lin rita's bubbling with envy now. she always deserts us. same for last year's sleepover. BLEH.

&let the music play on

do you know what it's like to be lied to and stood up by the person you regard as your best friend? although i doubt those occasions were on purpose, it doesnt feel good at all.
i can only come up with the following reasons:
1. She no longer treats me as her best friend, i.e. she doesnt take much notice of how i feel anym
2. She doesnt trust me enough to tell me everything. Cos i'm just one out of the crowd of friends she has, perhaps even from the beginning. 亏我还这么在乎她。
3. It's my fault.

HURT. worse, it's not the first time. not the same person, but a similar case. it seems the wound that never really healed properly is gonna open up again. looks like it's probably my fault.

& no comments on this post, please. i just need to let it out. treat it as one of my emo posts.

&let the music play on

hahah it seems im doing requests on my blog now.. ohwell.=D

LANGKAWI
set off on 22/11, sunday
i got the window seat on the plane. & i refused to give it up to my bro=P anw the flight was pretty short, about an hour i guess. then we walked to the hotel. first time we didnt need to get directions 'cause the hotel was just beside the airport. when we entered, we couldn't even find the lobby. and it looked pretty rundown. first impression was horrible cos the staff at the counter were total slowpokes in their work and the files and documents looked pretty tattered, plus the lobby was NOT air-conditioned... then after a long wait cos we had booked 6 rooms, we went up to our rooms, just that we couldnt find em. hahah. the hotel was too BIG. i had to run all the way to the other end to look for my grandparents' room cos i couldnt possibly make them walk in the wrong direction. so i finally found the room, and it was way COOL. 2 queen-sized beds with a lot more floor space=D my sis and i (okay maybe more of me) had so much fun rolling and jumping on our own beds. and there were like 4 mirrors in total in each room!! one near the door, one at the other end of the room for the dressing table, 2 in the toilet - 1 for the vanity top and 1 HUGE one next to the bathtub. needless to say, i made good use of all four=))
i regret not taking pictures of the hotel rooms... after dinner we went to this minimart where i decided to buy a bottle of alcohol to taste. i told my uncle that he'll drink it and i'll only take a sip. and oh it tasted horrible. like medicine. EEWW.

23/11, monday
we had breakfast at the hotel's cafe, where iced milo cost more than milkshakes. like ?!?! then we went on a boat ride to view bat caves, eagle bay and a fish farm. the bat caves were scary and my 5-yr-old cousin cried like mad. im so thankful i didnt see any bats. LOL. we didnt really get to see the eagles up close cos for some reason, our boat captain didnt feed the eagles like what the other boats' were. and the fish farm was pretty cool too. then we went to this bird park, which curiously had many other non-bird animals residing there. there was a shop there where my mum bought my sis and i (and herself) crystal rings=D the we went to this thai restaurant to eat. the food there rocks!! we all loved the american fried rice. kinda ironic, huh? after lunch, which was like 3 plus, we stopped by a local produce shop and a fruit farm before going to the cable cars. It was fun=) i think the last time i sat a cable car was in genting at least 8 yrs ago.. we got to the top, which was 710m above sea level. my bros were scared stiff. and none of us brought jackets. after taking some pictures, we went down. and my brothers were jumping around in the cable car, to the horror of my mum. hahah. somehow they feel safe hanging in the air compared to on steady planks of wood. but i felt the same too. and i was singing 'love story' on the way down to entertain my mum. dinner was at this restaurant by the beach. my sis and i went to take pictures. ahh those pictures. majority of mine were super unglam. maybe it's cos i was wearing specs? anw dinner wasnt very tasty; maybe the thai food was too nice and consumed too late in the day. even the lobster and tiger prawns werent very satisfying...

24/11, tuesday
my favourite day. my cousins and i went go-karting with my uncles and aunt. it was my first time, so im not ashamed to say that i was the slowest=/ apart from my cousin and brother who've been go-karting quite a few times before, my sis, uncles and aunty all have driving experience. tha fact that i skidded on a sharp bend didnt help my speed at all. but the adrenaline rush was great XD meanwhile, my parents, grandparents and my other 2 aunties went to the black sand beach. there were 15 of us on this trip.. hahah. then we went to the same thai restaurant again to eat=) after which we went shopping. like, finally!! but the shopping centre wsa kinda small... then most of them went to watch 2012 cos its a whole lot cheaper there in m'sia. so my aunt, my little cousin, my grandma and i continued shopping. i didnt feel like watching a movie. to my dismay, my aunt was only concerned about her shopping and my grandma was like just standing outside the shop for super long waiting for her. i felt really bad for my grandma so i asked her to come along to help me look for a pair of sandals. mine had soles that were fully worn-out. i so wished my mum was around to talk to my grandma. im sure she must have been bored. and i didnt know what to talk about at all... after like 2 hrs, we walked to a western restaurant quite far away. and the movie took more than 2 hrs, we had to wait for them for abt an hr at the restaurant. i didnt mind waiting cos i was reading a mag. but the fact that my grandma had to wait around with nothing to do made me quite upset. but it made me realise i need to spend more time with her. and my granddad too. back to dinner, the steak i ordered was awfully tough. with my newly put-on braces, i was having quite a hard time. hahah. but overall i was quite happy cos of the shopping=)

25/11, wednesday
my sis and i woke up real late. we were too tired from the day before. anw for this last day, we had a whole morning of activities planned out since our flight home was in the afternoon. we took a boat ride to a whole lot more places. we went to this island and played at the beach for quite a while. all the beaches at langkawi have nice clear waters. unlike sg where all the waters are so murky.. then at the jetty point we fed fishes with prawn crackers... there were swarms of them. it was fun watching them fight for the food. my mum was scolding us saying that we were poisoning the fish. hahah. the boat went to many places and there was this paticular island that looked like a pregnant woman. cool, huh? and this time round the boat captain fed the eagles. it was a different eagle bay with at least 15 eagles. the captain fed them chicken skins and it really was quite a sight seeing them swoop down one by one to grab the skins. after the boat ride we returned to the hotel to check out, then we had lunch at kenny rogers at the airport. the service was HORRIBLE. the waitress who took orders for my table actually didnt take them at all. she looked like she was scribbling down our orders, but in actual fact she wasnt. when all my relatives had finished thir food and most pple had left the restaurant (including those who came after us), my mum went to question the waitress and all she did was push the blame to another guy. i was so irritated. and my sister's order for chessy chicken came without any chicken in it. but whatever. quite unfortunate though, that the holiday had to end on such an unhappy note.

on the whole, it was quite an eye-opener cos i didnt get to do many things before going to langkawi. take the go-karting, for instance=) my mum was talking about going back again, but i told her i'd rather spend money going to someplace else that i've never been to. like taiwan or japan!! which im definitely going to do after As. 間違いなく

&let the music play on

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

THANKS(:

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it's history.

July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
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August 2009
November 2009
December 2009
March 2010
May 2010