I've been a little stressed lately and I was trying to think of a way to alleviate it. So...what makes me happy? Ranting and...lists, of course. So here you go.
1. I recently went to the Legacy center to swim with the fam. I've said it before and I will say it again...women, seriously? a. Don't make it easier for the pedophiles to single out your daughter. Cover her up! b. It is all about strategic coverage when you have "problem areas". Just because you are really thin and in theory should look good in a tiny bikini, doesn't mean you do. I cover my stretch marks, please return the favor. c. biking shorts do not a swimsuit bottom make.
2. I have this pet peeve about actors being way too old for the characters they play. There is one show that is a major offender of this: Glee. The two main male characters are 28 years old! That is only 5 years younger than the guy who plays their teacher. The average age of the "highschool kids" in Glee is 26 (yes I looked it up). I can suspend reality enough to believe that a group of teenagers break into song for no apparent reason and have perfect choreography without practicing, but I draw the line at a 28 year olds playing someone who is 16.
3. If you don't like people, don't be a nurse. If you decide to be a nurse anyway, and you treat my mom like crap, I will get in your face beeyatch.
4. Don't ask me how I am doing if you are expecting to hear "fine" every time. Sometimes I'm not fine, and I say so and you stare at me like I'm from another planet. I don't understand. You asked me a question and I told you the truth...so what is the problem here? Just don't ask me if you don't want to know. Problem solved.
5. Toppers. I get it, you have done everything I have, only better. You know everything I know, only more. Worse than a topper? An interuptopper. You insert yourself into a conversation you are (purposefully) left out of only to top me. It is beyond annoying. Insulting people isn't the best way to win friends.
6. My memory has been really bad lately and it is driving me crazy. I forget everything. It isn't bad enough to think it is a medical problem or anything, just bad enough to drive me crazy. So I bought this book on techniques to help your memory. It is a really good book, but it starts off with lots of stories about people and memory in general. Then it goes on to teach you ways to improve your memory. I thought it was really good. Then I forgot all of it. Maybe start with the teaching me to remember things, then go into the stories.
Thanks. I feel better.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Best By Date: Last Week
Over the past few months I've learned something I watched my mom go through more times than I can count. People running out of sympathy for you.
I hurt my back a few months ago, on top of an old gymnastics injury that had been causing me problems and woke up one day with excruciating pain. After 3 weeks, it didn't let up and I had an MRI and went to a specialist. I am going in today for a somewhat new treatment to have the nerves in my lower back burnt off so they don't send pain signals anymore. I'm terrified but excited at the prospect of not having pain. At first people were very sympathetic, they told me about loved ones they watched go through back pain, how horrible it is, etc. Then after a few weeks, less and less people seem to believe you are actually in pain. Some even questioned "Well how would THAT cause so much pain?" Oh, you're right, you know better than me how I feel, thanks for sharing! It seems their mentality is "You look fine, you are at work, you have makeup on and don't look like you are dying...so what is the problem?" You get to the point where people ask you how you are and you want to say "like someone is stabbing my back over and over again every second of every day, thanks for asking." But you say "Fine,thanks." Because deep down, you know they don't get it, they will think you are being dramatic. I have had this conversation with my mom and dad often, as my mom has dealt with chronic pain for decades. I tried to understand and I never doubted her pain, but it really was hard to understand, so I do and don't blame "these people." Okay, that is a lie, I do blame them. Some of them, anyway. I know my pain isn't even close to what people can experience and I have a new found respect for anyone dealing with pain and illnesses every day. So why do we run out of sympathy? Why is there an expiration date on how long we can empathize with someone? Maybe we don't want to admit that deep down we want to say "Just push through the pain, go on with things." Easier said than done. So I'm praying that this extremely painful procedure will lessen these past extremely painful months. And if you see someone who "seems fine" don't underestimate what they can be going through.
Now can someone help me down? This soapbox is super high, and my back hurts. Thanks.
I hurt my back a few months ago, on top of an old gymnastics injury that had been causing me problems and woke up one day with excruciating pain. After 3 weeks, it didn't let up and I had an MRI and went to a specialist. I am going in today for a somewhat new treatment to have the nerves in my lower back burnt off so they don't send pain signals anymore. I'm terrified but excited at the prospect of not having pain. At first people were very sympathetic, they told me about loved ones they watched go through back pain, how horrible it is, etc. Then after a few weeks, less and less people seem to believe you are actually in pain. Some even questioned "Well how would THAT cause so much pain?" Oh, you're right, you know better than me how I feel, thanks for sharing! It seems their mentality is "You look fine, you are at work, you have makeup on and don't look like you are dying...so what is the problem?" You get to the point where people ask you how you are and you want to say "like someone is stabbing my back over and over again every second of every day, thanks for asking." But you say "Fine,thanks." Because deep down, you know they don't get it, they will think you are being dramatic. I have had this conversation with my mom and dad often, as my mom has dealt with chronic pain for decades. I tried to understand and I never doubted her pain, but it really was hard to understand, so I do and don't blame "these people." Okay, that is a lie, I do blame them. Some of them, anyway. I know my pain isn't even close to what people can experience and I have a new found respect for anyone dealing with pain and illnesses every day. So why do we run out of sympathy? Why is there an expiration date on how long we can empathize with someone? Maybe we don't want to admit that deep down we want to say "Just push through the pain, go on with things." Easier said than done. So I'm praying that this extremely painful procedure will lessen these past extremely painful months. And if you see someone who "seems fine" don't underestimate what they can be going through.
Now can someone help me down? This soapbox is super high, and my back hurts. Thanks.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Books and More Books
Wow, needless to say I am running behind on this blog. My life is crazy, and it doesn't seem that it will change anytime soon. Sanity is sooo overrated anyway. At least I hear...from the voices in my head.
So here is my list of books I read in 2010 ...if anyone cares. I just want documentation to prove that I read (and finished) 50 books in 2010. I don't think I will make it my goal again, I saved all my really long books for this year (not cheating...by the way) and will never make it. Instead my goal is to watch 100 movies. I will have to up my Netflix subscription. Oh, and do Lifetime movies count? I love those.
Best Books: READ THEM NOW!
Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson (The Girl Who Played With Fire, etc, etc.) This is an example of why people think Americans are stupid. We write crap books that turn into crap movies..a la Twilight. The Swedes write really provocative, amazing books with interesting characters that turn into great movies-like these books. Then we steal them and turn them into crap movies (or so is my prediction for the American version of these movies).
Starter for 10 by David Nicholls. Seriously, I laughed out loud for this entire book. It is awesome.
One Day, also by David Nicholls. I read this one first, and it isn't as good as Starter for 10, but still amazing.
Last Night in Twisted River by John Irving. My favorite writer and this book was right up there.
Little Bee by Chris Cleave. I recommended this book to most of you. I hope you read it.
In the Lake of the Woods by Tim O'Brien. This was my second reading of this book after about 8 years. It is so amazingly written and innovative.
Mudbound by Hilary Jordan. I also lent this book out to many people.
Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern. Don't watch the crap TV show with William Shatner. It is NOTHING like the book. The book is awesomely awesome. I could write one about shit my dad says. It would be almost as vulgar and probably just as funny.
The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Caelho. He wrote the Alchemist, which I loved. This book is really different, and pretty relevant about celebrities without shoving it down your throat.
Dismantled by Jennifer McMahon. This was one of the most entertaining and easiest to read. It is NOT funny, but very entertaining.
Earth: The Book by my boyfriend, Jon Stewart. I had to include something by him, sorry.
Anthem by Ayn Rand. I have recently become obsessed with her books and philosophy, she really intrigues me, though I don't agree with most of what she says. This book is an easy read (and free on the kindle). I didn't realize how many books have ripped this one off.
The Brief and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. Heartbreaking and hilarious. My favorite kind of books.
Worst Books:
For the love, don't waste your precious time that you can never get back on these books:
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. The only reason I finished this damn book was because I paid $12 for it. Let me save you some time: Masons aren't as interesting as Dan Brown wants them to be. And his writing sucks more than you want it to.
Secrets by Robin Jones Gunn. Okay, I just saw this one in a box at my Grandma's apartment, so I wasn't expecting much. It only sucked so much because it actually started out okay and sucked me in. It was all downhill from there.
Noah's Compass by Anne Tyler. I was excited because I am big fan of most of her books. It was like she took a paragraph from each and just mashed a book together. Not really a good way to go, in my opinion.
Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia. This is an example of how marketing works. The cover looked intriguing, the synopsis made it sound interesting. It started out okay. Then it became like Twilight mixed with Sabrina the Teenage Witch with some crap and then stir the pot. Just because Vampire and Werewolf books sell, doesn't mean people should keep writing them. And they should warn you that this book is only good if you thought Twilight was the great American novel.
I just want to thank these horrible books for giving me hope that I could write a pretty decent book, and even sell millions of copies, without too much effort.
Okay books.
Books you could read and wouldn't be disappointed
Shift by Jennifer Bradbury
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
Cutting For Stone by Abraham Veghese
Chains by Laurie Haise Anderson
The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger (don't get me wrong, this is one amazing book, but I don't ever ENJOY it, as I hate the main character. But I wouldn't hate him if the writing wasn't so great)
Moonlight Mile by Dennis Lehane
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris
The Girl in the Hyacinth Blue-Susan Vreeland
Hitler's Canary by Sandi Toksvig
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Eh, Books. Probably don't waste your time.
I'd Know you Anywhere by Laura Lippman
The Sugar House by Laura Lippman (I know, I went back for more)
8 of the Southern Vampire Books by Charlayne Harris. If you want to get it on the Vampire thing, read these. They are like junk food for your brain, but at least written better.
Eating The Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman Love him, but his stuff is getting stale.
The Whole World Over by Julia Glass
Charles Darwin-Voyaging. It started out interesting but then after like 500 pages with 600 more to go...interesting only gets you so far.
And here are the rest, lots of non-fiction books that were great, but probably just to me.
The Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand
Introduction to Objectivism by Ayn Rand
Goddess of the Market: Ayn Rand and the American Right by Jennifer Burns
Restless Genius: The Story of Virginia Woolf
Tethered by Amy Mackinnon
Prisons We Choose to Live Inside by Doris Lessing
Plague of Doves by Louise Erdirich
Conversations With Myself by Nelson Mandela
Things I've Been silent about by Azar Nafisi
The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis (I only put it down here because I have read it like 5 times)
Okay, I think that is technically 52...GO ME! Seriously, this is a big deal. Although I love to read, I'm shocked I didn't sabotage this because I never finish projects that I start. I think I'm good on goals for a few years. And honestly, I am little read-out. I have read a few books this year, but I keep getting them confused with all the other books still in my head.
THE END. If you were still reading you can stop now.
So here is my list of books I read in 2010 ...if anyone cares. I just want documentation to prove that I read (and finished) 50 books in 2010. I don't think I will make it my goal again, I saved all my really long books for this year (not cheating...by the way) and will never make it. Instead my goal is to watch 100 movies. I will have to up my Netflix subscription. Oh, and do Lifetime movies count? I love those.
Best Books: READ THEM NOW!
Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson (The Girl Who Played With Fire, etc, etc.) This is an example of why people think Americans are stupid. We write crap books that turn into crap movies..a la Twilight. The Swedes write really provocative, amazing books with interesting characters that turn into great movies-like these books. Then we steal them and turn them into crap movies (or so is my prediction for the American version of these movies).
Starter for 10 by David Nicholls. Seriously, I laughed out loud for this entire book. It is awesome.
One Day, also by David Nicholls. I read this one first, and it isn't as good as Starter for 10, but still amazing.
Last Night in Twisted River by John Irving. My favorite writer and this book was right up there.
Little Bee by Chris Cleave. I recommended this book to most of you. I hope you read it.
In the Lake of the Woods by Tim O'Brien. This was my second reading of this book after about 8 years. It is so amazingly written and innovative.
Mudbound by Hilary Jordan. I also lent this book out to many people.
Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern. Don't watch the crap TV show with William Shatner. It is NOTHING like the book. The book is awesomely awesome. I could write one about shit my dad says. It would be almost as vulgar and probably just as funny.
The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Caelho. He wrote the Alchemist, which I loved. This book is really different, and pretty relevant about celebrities without shoving it down your throat.
Dismantled by Jennifer McMahon. This was one of the most entertaining and easiest to read. It is NOT funny, but very entertaining.
Earth: The Book by my boyfriend, Jon Stewart. I had to include something by him, sorry.
Anthem by Ayn Rand. I have recently become obsessed with her books and philosophy, she really intrigues me, though I don't agree with most of what she says. This book is an easy read (and free on the kindle). I didn't realize how many books have ripped this one off.
The Brief and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. Heartbreaking and hilarious. My favorite kind of books.
Worst Books:
For the love, don't waste your precious time that you can never get back on these books:
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. The only reason I finished this damn book was because I paid $12 for it. Let me save you some time: Masons aren't as interesting as Dan Brown wants them to be. And his writing sucks more than you want it to.
Secrets by Robin Jones Gunn. Okay, I just saw this one in a box at my Grandma's apartment, so I wasn't expecting much. It only sucked so much because it actually started out okay and sucked me in. It was all downhill from there.
Noah's Compass by Anne Tyler. I was excited because I am big fan of most of her books. It was like she took a paragraph from each and just mashed a book together. Not really a good way to go, in my opinion.
Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia. This is an example of how marketing works. The cover looked intriguing, the synopsis made it sound interesting. It started out okay. Then it became like Twilight mixed with Sabrina the Teenage Witch with some crap and then stir the pot. Just because Vampire and Werewolf books sell, doesn't mean people should keep writing them. And they should warn you that this book is only good if you thought Twilight was the great American novel.
I just want to thank these horrible books for giving me hope that I could write a pretty decent book, and even sell millions of copies, without too much effort.
Okay books.
Books you could read and wouldn't be disappointed
Shift by Jennifer Bradbury
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
Cutting For Stone by Abraham Veghese
Chains by Laurie Haise Anderson
The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger (don't get me wrong, this is one amazing book, but I don't ever ENJOY it, as I hate the main character. But I wouldn't hate him if the writing wasn't so great)
Moonlight Mile by Dennis Lehane
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris
The Girl in the Hyacinth Blue-Susan Vreeland
Hitler's Canary by Sandi Toksvig
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Eh, Books. Probably don't waste your time.
I'd Know you Anywhere by Laura Lippman
The Sugar House by Laura Lippman (I know, I went back for more)
8 of the Southern Vampire Books by Charlayne Harris. If you want to get it on the Vampire thing, read these. They are like junk food for your brain, but at least written better.
Eating The Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman Love him, but his stuff is getting stale.
The Whole World Over by Julia Glass
Charles Darwin-Voyaging. It started out interesting but then after like 500 pages with 600 more to go...interesting only gets you so far.
And here are the rest, lots of non-fiction books that were great, but probably just to me.
The Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand
Introduction to Objectivism by Ayn Rand
Goddess of the Market: Ayn Rand and the American Right by Jennifer Burns
Restless Genius: The Story of Virginia Woolf
Tethered by Amy Mackinnon
Prisons We Choose to Live Inside by Doris Lessing
Plague of Doves by Louise Erdirich
Conversations With Myself by Nelson Mandela
Things I've Been silent about by Azar Nafisi
The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis (I only put it down here because I have read it like 5 times)
Okay, I think that is technically 52...GO ME! Seriously, this is a big deal. Although I love to read, I'm shocked I didn't sabotage this because I never finish projects that I start. I think I'm good on goals for a few years. And honestly, I am little read-out. I have read a few books this year, but I keep getting them confused with all the other books still in my head.
THE END. If you were still reading you can stop now.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Seasons Greetings, etc.
So...I never got around to sending out a Christmas card to anybody. It doesn't mean I don't love you. And if you are reading this, it doesn't mean I do love you (it is an open blog after all). I was going to give an update of all family members, but there is no need. Our kids are cute and awesome. Max is 1/2 demon and 1/2 cutest kid on earth. They make us tired. Work makes us tired. But we are having a good year. A surgeon didn't attempt to kill me...no emergency room visits (knock on wood, there are still a few days left in the year). We added a new member to our family, Pearl the bird who only loves Maura and hisses at me (and ate 2 diamonds out of my ring, damn bird). Oh, and we added Rand's fantastic long hair, which we have all come to love. Some more than others. All in all, it was a pretty good year and I hope yours was too. So...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Love,
Rach, Rand, Maura, Collin & Maximus
It looks like I have my kids all under control, but this is the one out of 100 shots that turned out. Here is how most of them turned out:
Me and my lumberjack hippie (looking quite fine I must say)
Oh, update coming soon on the 50 books I read this year. I have to finish the 2 I am reading and I will make it...I actually finished a project, yay!
Love,
Rach, Rand, Maura, Collin & Maximus
It looks like I have my kids all under control, but this is the one out of 100 shots that turned out. Here is how most of them turned out:
Me and my lumberjack hippie (looking quite fine I must say)
Oh, update coming soon on the 50 books I read this year. I have to finish the 2 I am reading and I will make it...I actually finished a project, yay!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Eat A Pilgrim
Isn't that Native American at all suspicious that there are 10 hungry white men chasing him? If you go and "Eat Like a Pilgrim" does that mean you have to kill Native Americans? Cause I don't want to.
Have a great Turkey Day next week. I'll forget to post before then I'm sure. But I'm grateful for lots of stuff.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Leave Florence Henderson Out of This!
I just wanted to apologize for the last post. I'm not sure why I was trying to convince you (if anyone still reads this thing) that I'm crazy. You have all met me...I'm pretty sure you don't need convincing that I'm crazy. Rand politely told me to stop telling my "stories" because they all end with me looking crazy. Which I am...I just won't demand you to think that of me again. Needless to say, life is hectic...as it is for most of us. My brain just isn't equipped to deal with normal stress, let along all the other stress that comes with family and jobs and health and kids. But it's all good. It's still me. Although, I did have a dream that I went to get into my [awesome] minivan and Florence Henderson was being eaten by a velociraptor. This is one of those times I shouldn't have shared...right? Damn. Sorry again.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Have a great summer, don't change!!
My life is crazy. I always knew having 3 kids would be crazy, but it is seriously out of control. So I'm just going to go ahead and go with it. I've always been a little "off" or "special" or maybe "obnoxious." This is nothing new, ask my parents. I'm sure they sat up nights trying to decide how they could mold me into something that would survive in society and not be pointed at. But despite the fact that I've always been in the vicinity of crazy town, I'm pretty sure I have settled in right downtown. I used to think I could keep it all together, clean house, laundry done, have a job, be a better than mediocre wife, etc. But I can't. When I got pregnant with Max, I started to feel things sliding. Then he was born and I had to go back to work and a few more of the few sane parts of my brain were absorbed by the crazy, sane-eating parts. Then my surgeon tried to kill me with the old cut-her-intestines-in-half-trick during a routine procedure. And here we are. I'm nuts. I'm not kidding you, I have lost my freaking marbles. The thing is, I know it and I feel like maybe I always had the potential to get here...but I still held on to some hope that I would keep up the facade. Well, it is long gone now. I used to apologize for being loud, telling vulgar jokes, and being too opinionated. Now I just don't think I give a sh*t. My house looks like a tornado blew threw it. There is a train running around me right now. And not in a Bruce Springsteen "Like a freight train track running through the middle of my mind" kind of way. There is literally a train track all around me in the living room. I haven't seen my laundry room floor in a long time and now I'm scared to. I have pieces of goldfish crackers on my sheets and drool in my shoes (could be mine, could be Max's) and I don't think I care. I found a whisk under my bed. I threw my security badge in the garbage. I watched a Lifetime Movie where Jennifer Love Hewitt works at a "massage parlor" to make ends meet and I LIKED IT! I take mannequins to picnics...not to freak people out, but just because I wanted her to come.
People say you can't change, but I did. There is no going back now. Help us all.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Just in Case
I'm still here. Are you? My creativity and desire to write nonsense has waned. I'm hoping it picks back up, I miss MFS. So I don't have much to report on. Work, home, homework, kids, baby is a bulldozer/Frankenstein hybrid. That's my life in a nutshell. A big, chaotic, messy nutshell. I'll be back with a real post someday soon. As soon I finish that laundry. And clean the kitchen. And get to work on time.
Hope you are all well.
Sally, if you are out there, hey! How are you? Long time no see. Well, I never actually saw you, but long time Maura no see. Now I sound like an idiot. And please don't actually answer me. I will pee my pants.
Rach
Hope you are all well.
Sally, if you are out there, hey! How are you? Long time no see. Well, I never actually saw you, but long time Maura no see. Now I sound like an idiot. And please don't actually answer me. I will pee my pants.
Rach
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)