Happy Birthday Pops!

Today is my dad's 57th birthday! I just wanted to say Happy Birthday Lars! I can't believe you are so old and still able to do things that normal people can :) The other day there was a commercial on TV with Wilford Brimley and Collin yelled "Grandpa on TV!" That is how old you are old man. We hope you have a great day anyway. We love you!


At least we know what you will look like in 20 years.

Welcome All Mythical Creatures!

It has been awhile since I have heard from Sally...and I was almost starting to miss all the creepy stories Maura would tell me and that strange feeling of someone watching me when I was alone. And then...Collin came home with a new friend a few weeks ago. His name is the Pukel Man. I'll explain. My mom & dad watch the kids once a week while I'm at work, and to get Collin to sleep my dad tells him stories about the creatures in Lord of the Rings (I know, it sounds strange, but Collin loves it). For some reason, Collin became obsessed with the Pukel man (who is similar to a dwarf and live in forest, in case you were wondering). Now the pukel man comes everywhere with us. "Pukel Man is hiding on the ceiling, Pukel Man is on my lamp, Pukel Man is driving the tractor, TIME OUT PUKEL MAN!", etc...

I'm not quite sure what it is about our parenting style that invites these imaginary friends in...or if there is an "imaginary friend" gene that both of my children posses, but it is really entertaining, so I won't complain. I might have to change the blog name, because it seems Sally is long gone and has been replaced by a creepier imaginary being. Although, she has been known to sneak back in to our lives just when we think we have seen the last of her. Maura always told me that Collin could see Sally too. I guess she was right. More on our new friend, Pukel Man to come so stay tuned...

And you thought Sally was creepy....This is a statue of the mythical Pukel Men (otherwise known as woodwoses)

No wonder I don't sleep at night. Look who is wandering around my house...

Insomniacs Anonymous

So...as many of you know I suffer from a fairly extreme case of insomnia. For as long as I can remember I just can't seem to fall asleep. I remember being pretty young and going in to wake my dad up to tell him I couldn't sleep (seems kind of pointless, right?) And while it is only midnight and pretty early, I guarantee that three hours from now I will still be awake, just too tired to form coherent thoughts in my head or do anything other than be angry that I'm not asleep. So what is the problem? I'm not really sure. I have tried everything I can think of to convince my body it is time to sleep. I've tried sleeping pills, anti-anxiety pills, meditation, herbal remedies, self-hypnosis, exercise, music, yoga...to no avail. I have even climbed into bed with my peacefully-sleeping children to try and absorb their peace of mind through osmosis. Rand (the husband) has offered to hit me over the head and I'm starting to think it isn't so that I will go to sleep, but so that I will stop complaining about not sleeping. It isn't that I am having any traumatizing events going on (usually, anyway)...most of the time I am worried about something ridiculous like aliens invading the planet (not the friendly green kind either, the really mean, probing kind) or a nuclear bomb or something else completely irrational. I just can't seem to shut my brain off. When I am exhausted in the morning Maura will ask me why I am so tired and when I tell her I didn't sleep and she will say "Just find the Off-Switch for your brain, that is what I do." So why does a 5-year old have this thing figured out and I don't?

Anyway, I am completely open to any suggestions anyone might have to help. Please tell me any ideas (other than pills and hard liquor...I've exhausted those options) that you think might help. Even if I don't know you very well or you stumbled across my blog somehow...just send any thoughts my way. Or maybe if you are a fellow insomniac we can start a support group. Or maybe that time would be better spent taking a nice nap...

It Is For Your Own Good, Trust Me

In my long quest to force everyone to love what I do (because really, I have better taste than most everyone) here are the things I am in love with lately:

This is the best show ever. I would compare it to something, but I can't. You have to watch it to understand.

This book is amazing. Don't read it if you are easily offended, as the main character is a stripper (use your imagination).

Even if you have never heard of Joy Division or Ian Curtis (but you should, they were great) this movie is soooo good. Tragic, but great.

Someone at work gave me this CD awhile back and I haven't stopped listening to it.
Bon Iver "For Emma, Forever Ago"

Life Lessons Learned at Seven Peaks

I Went to Seven Peaks with the family tonight and came away with more than a sunburn. Here is what I have learned:

1. While I do not have the most confidence in my physical appearance, I feel pretty darn good about myself right now.
2. Leotards DO NOT equal swimming suits.
3. There are some really flattering swimsuts for girls who have curves (and/or rolls).
4. Nobody at Seven Peaks seemed to be aware of these.
5. Maura is somewhat of a thrill-seeker. Even while trembling with fear, she will still go down the big slide.
6. Collin sees imaginary fish in the water and likes to hand these to people-people who weren't very appreciative of his gift.
7. Don't get a tattoo of a martini glass or a playboy bunny(or the two together). You might as well tattoo "Tramp" on your back, it gives the same message.

For those about to Rock Band

We entered a Rock Band competition and we are currently in last place! We sorta thought everyone would suck as bad as us. We were wrong. If it were a contest to see who looked coolest playing their instruments, we would smoke the competition. Unfortunately, you must know how to play to win.

Meet the Band:
Lead Guitar: Steve, or as Keiko lovingly calls him, "Frankenstein" (his hand had an unfortunate encounter with a table saw)
Bass: Keiko, aka "Birthday Cake-o"
Vocals: Cathy, C-Durf
Drums: Me, I have no nickname, I just kick butt on the drums

Sally? Is that you?

So...I just moved into a new building at work and I am not exactly thrilled with my new surroundings. I sit all alone in a corner and it has forced me to talk to myself a lot more than usual. But worse than that, there is this noise that is driving me insane and I can't find out where it is coming from. It sounds like that wheel they spin on "Wheel of Fortune." It is probably a good thing nobody sits by me because they would have seen me crawling around under my desk putting my ear against everything to try to figure it out. I really wish somebody would come and talk to me.

4th of July

We had a great 4th of July this year celebrated with some old traditions

• BBQ
• Fireworks
• Kids having complete meltdowns (okay, it was just one of mine)

And some new traditions:

• Riley leaping over the fireworks (thanks a lot, now my 2 year thinks its cool to run through balls of fire)
• Played some Rock Band (although I was banned from the microphone)
• A (mostly) friendly game of wiffle ball. The old man pulled through and hit the scoring home run. Pretty impressive for a grandfather of 7. I came darn close to pelting Riley in the goodies a few times. Nobody wanted to pitch for me after that.

Fishlake

After many fun days (and some not-so-fun-moments) we made it back from Fishlake. The kids had so much fun with all of their cousins and second cousins and some other more distant relatives (I'm not really sure how that all works).

Best part about the trip:

1. Seeing my long-lost cousins and aunts and uncles
2. No work, no cleaning
3. Caught up on some reading
4. Maura and I got to go birdwatching (one of our favorite things to do) we found Pelicans, woodpeckers, mountain bluebirds and one fat, smelly marmot (at least we think it was a marmot)
   

Worst parts:

1. Maura throwing up in the tent (seriously, she couldn't lean her head outside??)
2. No shower for a few too many days
3. I shined the flashlight in my eyes and then tripped and fell on a rock (don't ask)

The kids at Goblin Valley

My cute kids by the Lake

Apparently Rand caught me reading some porn

Uncle Dan's (a.k.a. "dude's") magic show with his lovely assistant