I'm an "HM"

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.

Sally Albright: Which one am I?

Harry Burns: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

Sally Albright: I don't see that.

Harry Burns: You don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. "On the side" is a very big thing for you.

Sally Albright: Well, I just want it the way I want it.

Harry Burns: I know; high maintenance.

I'm high maintenance. I'll admit it. A natural beauty, I am not.

When spray tans were popular last year, I got one. I was pasty white and decided it was cheap enough to try. And the first rule of a spray tan is to avoid water for 24 hours. Any type of water or liquid, to be exact.

I came home from the salon to my family, who sabotaged my tan almost immediately. Zero jumped all over me with his muddy, wet paws that streaked my legs. And when I picked up Corinne, she licked my shoulder. LICKED! Why? I have no idea. But her baby saliva ruined my perfectly bronzed arm, while zero's paws ruined my legs. I think I almost lost my mind. I dragged my angry self back to the salon, where I begged the spray-tan technician (not sure what their exact title is) to touch me up. When I explained to her that my child licked off my tan, she looked at me like I was crazy, and that's exactly how I felt. Like I was being punished for trying too hard.


But today I bought into another trend- the Brazilian Blowout. Yes, I know the formaldehyde may have seeped into my brain, causing brain cancer and retardation as we speak. But I've been told it will save me 45 minutes in the mornings. 45 minutes I can spend meditating, praying, playing with my kids....or just eating breakfast and watching the news. So hell yea, I bought into another trend! Sure, the smell of the chemicals made me cry when they were being applied to my head. And sure, my scalp is burning a bit still. But it's a small price to pay to appear low maintenance.

Visiting Grandpa The Great

We survived four hours in the car with Corinne. I won't even mention Taylor because she was so good in the car that we hardly knew she was there, securing her title as world's easiest child. Corinne...well, she was fantastic...on the way home. The way there was another story. She wanted nothing to do with the dvd player or the iphone. She didn't want to read, sing, play "I Spy" or be jolly at all. She wanted to drive me crazy and that's exactly what she did. Mommy turned into a circus monkey for four hours, trying my hardest to keep the little bugger entertained. Luckily, she slept for the last two hours into Vegas and woke up chipper.

The girls loved running around Grandpa The Great's house, and made themselves right at home. We weren't there 5 minutes before Taylor was asking to play a board game with GTG. They were happy as clams.

We hung out with GTG and visited the children's museum again. We even braved the strip and visited Circus Circus. Not somewhere I'd ever take the kids again, but it was an experience. Vegas attracts some interesting people and the cigarette smoke is just nasty. We were driving around and I said, "What's that smell?" Taylor said, "It's Vegas." She was right. But the girls had their face painted and won a bunch of stuffed animals to add to their collection.

We have some exciting news, too! I'm going to be an aunt again! My sister is due at the end of September and we can't wait. A new little squishy to add to the family.


This is Corinne at Circus Circus, looking drunk and hung over. She was tired, and she couldn't decide if she liked her face painting or not.

Taylor was tired, but determined to stay awake for the Vegas night life.

I think the adults had more fun than the kids playing with the bubbles at the children's museum.

Wes took the girls inside the hurrican machine. Corinne looked like a puppy with her head sticking out the window.
I sang "Wheels on the Bus" with the girls. We're taking our act on the road.

I'm a slacker

It's been a while since I've blogged, so I'm sure I've lost the five faithful readers I used to have. Nothing entirely blog-worthy has happened and I've been writing an article a week for KSL, and that's my lame excuse for being a slacker. So here's a quick update on nothing in particular.


I've started doing preschool lessons and activities with Corinne. I wasn't sure if she had the attention span to sit still for a craft and worksheet, but it turns out she did. Huh. Who'd have thunk it? And so far she's really enjoying it and asking for a craft everyday. I'm happy to oblige, and she's really getting her letters and letter sounds down. And we're making (some) progress with her attitude too. I made a star chart and it's been a pretty good motivator for her to try a little harder to NOT be such a stinker.
Corinne, with a Valentine's Day bear box we made together.

She recently had a play date at her friend Talia's house, and she had a blast. I fully expected screaming and crying when I left, but it just didn't happen. My friend Fran had the girls make cupcakes, and she gave Corinne a mani/pedi. She's been asking to go back to "Frans'is house" ever since. Progress.
Corinne and her pals at Nursery. She loves singing time with Brother Sanches.

Taylor is rockin in kindergarten. I'm just so proud of her. It seems like she's grown up so much since the first day of school. Makes me a little sad to see, like it's all happening at warp speed. Poor girl had a bit of pneumonia this week, but I caught it really early on and she's bouncing back pretty fast.


Valentine's Day was nice. I bought the girls some treats from the Dollar Spot (a mom's best friend), and little outfits. Taylor threw her clothes aside and dug into the other goodies, while Corinne was ecstatic about her "rainbow dress," diva that she is. I made it easy on Wes this year and bought myself a Brazilian Blowout, and told him he was off the hook. I made him lobster and shrimp for dinner. I don't wanna brag, but I steam a mean lobster.
We brought a Valentine's Day balloon to Tay when we picked her up from school. Corinne's idea, of course.

Wes is taking a class through an online university. The Gas Co. is paying for him to get his BA degree. Crazy! He's working hard on homework and writing essays in his spare time. I'm proud of him for doing it. It's not easy to squeeze in school when you have a full time job and a family. We're also excited because he finally got the promotion to full time management that we've been waiting for. Hooray! We're excited for his first check with his new salary attached.lol. He really stuck it out and paid his dues for this one.

Nothing new with me. And I'm perfectly ok with that, seeing as how I hate change. I'm enjoying watching my kids and my husband have good things happen to them. It's just as if they're happening directly to me. Sure, it's all rather mundane stuff, but it's all good stuff.

We're off to Vegas this weekend to see my Grandpa and I'm excited to get out of Dodge for a bit.

5 things I wish I'd known when buying my first home | ksl.com

5 things I wish I'd known when buying my first home ksl.com

Real blog post coming your way soon. I'll stop using my blog to pimp out my articles. I promise.

What women don't want for Valentine's Day | ksl.com

What women don't want for Valentine's Day ksl.com

And another one. I promise I'll actually blog something soon. I'm writing articles once a week now, and it's kind of hard to keep up with both.