And in the end...

Thanks for reading.

Old Mcdonald had a house

I don't typically feel attached to homes. I've lived in 13 houses over the course of 37 years, most of which were before the age of 15. Right before the summer of ninth grade, my mom, my sister and I moved into Bruce's house on Mcdonald. He must have really loved my mom, because he willingly and warmly welcomed three women, two of which had raging teenage-bitch hormones, into his sparsely decorated bachelor pad. If I remember right, I was skeptical upon moving in. He insisted it was to become our home in every sense of the word and to treat it as such. I probably (most definitely) rolled by eyes (which we can all agree is the most annoying teenage trait around), and doubted very much that we were as welcome as he insisted we were. Always the skeptic and untrusting girl, I was sure at some point he would declare that I was just lucky to be there, or that I wasn't grateful enough that he took us in, but he never did.
Not even when boys called at all hours of the night and Bruce would stumble in my room half asleep to give me the phone.
Or when I dyed my hair burgundy to look like Claire Danes in My So-Called Life at eleven o'clock at night and woke everyone up with the blow dryer.
Or when I practiced holocaust monologues in the garage.
Or when my drama troupe spent the weekend there and Bruce's dog died. (I don't know if the two are directly related, but....)
Or when I  spilled nail polish remover on the new carpet.
Or when I cleaned absolutely nothing over the course of time that I lived there.

So the house on Mcdonald has a special place in my heart because it was one of the few places I've ever felt at home. It was also where I lived during my formative years when I was just Nikki. Not Nikki the mom, or wife, or interpreter, or whatever...just sort of Nikki before anything really important happened in life but everything important sort of did. Only my core friends were invited over, because it's not always comfortable letting people into your personal family space with all of its weird dynamics.  It's where I hid out when teenage acne was the hell of me, and where I cried myself to sleep after Winter Formal because I spent hours getting ready and my date made a fat joke at my expense about a minute after pulling out of the driveway. It's where I played Mario Kart on the living room floor and had Blockbuster and pizza nights on the couch. It's where I brought my family and my kids, and what we lovingly refer to as Nana's house. And I thought of all of this and all of the most important people in my life who had ever walked through that door while I was packing up dishes last weekend. I was genuinely sad to say goodbye to that house, to Nana's house, to teenage Nikki's house. I drove away last weekend thinking of all of the memories I made there, both good and bad, and felt grateful for every single one.

Last swim

For the record, I'm never wearing this dress again. I'm not pregnant, but this dress says otherwise.

Heartbreak

Taylor suffered her first real heartbreak yesterday. It came unexpectedly, as most terrible heartbreaks do. It blindsided her and shook her little world. She doesn't know who or what to believe in at this point, and I held her while she literally sobbed and fell asleep in my arms last night. But even though she thinks nobody in the world could ever understand her pain, it was really just your run of the mill break up.

You love a man with all your heart. You believe in him and trust that he's everything he professes to be. He gives you promises and gifts, and makes you feel like there's magic in the world! Everything about him makes you want to be a better person. Your friends love him! Your family loves him too, or so it seems, and boy have they been feeding you a line of b.s. for years about how great this guy is. Then, WAM-O! You realize he's a fraud. A 'friend' clues you in on what you always knew deep down to be true, but ignored for so long.  Somehow hearing the words spoken out loud, confirming all of your doubts, makes you cry into your Star Wars pillow clutching a stuffed dog while wailing, "MY HEART IS BROKEN" to your overwhelmed mother.

Yea. It was your run of the mill break up. But no Alanis Morisette cd or night out with the girls is going to help heal Taylor's pain. So she'll slowly start to pick up the pieces, ignoring that sharp pang in her chest, because what else can you do? He'll never change. He was special to her for a short, but important time in her life and now she has to move on.

And in case you're wondering, she also no longer believes in the Easter Bunny, Big Foot, fairies, Elf on the Shelf, or the Tooth Fairy. So if you see a fifth grader named Alex around town, step on his toe REAL hard. He is the killer of dreams, and the one who blabbed and thrust Taylor into a world without a Santa Claus.

The best great aunt ever. Love her so much.

8 Million pictures of October

October is always, always, the busiest month of the year in our house. We had an unforgettable trip to Maui and spent seven days taking in the perfect weather, the warm ocean, and every activity we could cram into our trip. We parasailed, snorkeled, floated in the crystal clear waves, visited the Maui Ocean Center and survived our first plane ride as a family. It was so much fun watching the girls try so many new things and really just a wonderful experience for us to have together.

Maui Ocen Center touch tank

Wes' awesome hat that didn't last the plane ride home

We went to another hotel to plan our outings with the travel co., and pretended like it was actually the hotel we were staying in. haha. We fed the coy fish and held this awesome bird that dug its claws into the girl's arms. They smiled through the pain.

The first day of travel was sort of exhausting.

This is right before Taylor had a melt down in the airport about having to fly.  But we made it through it!

Every restaurant had a dog that just sort of roamed around and let you pet it. Needless to say, the girls were in heaven.

Very early morning snorkeling trip was definitely worth waking up so early. 

Just sliding into the ocean.

checking out the sea turtles that swam right up next to us

This is about when I started to have a heart attack.

Hanging with the birthday girl.

Woke up to presents in Maui. Not a bad way to start out your 10th year on Earth.

Lei making with our Polynesian friend.

The weather played on a loop and this same exact double rainbow was there every afternoon at the same time

When things get hairy, just have a giant over priced drink in a coconut.

Island Fever

Love this beautiful birthday girl so much.

Last night luau

Dimes in Hawaii.

Palm Springs

Palm springs was relaxing and fun as it always is. I love this yearly tradition with these girls that I've known forever. We hung by the pool, played craps at a casino (which was hilarious and freakin' fun), and just enjoyed each other's company. I can't wait until next year.

This about sums up what I did during the day when I wasn't chatting with the girls. 

Because if you have Jesus tatted on your head, YOU'RE the guy to tattoo me!

Just playin'. 

Pre night out ritual

My craps buddy. 'Come on ROLLER!'

Taylor's Birthday Party

I threw together the most last minute birthday party ever, and it turned out to be a total blast with some of Taylor's closest friends.

Halloween and Robby & Aubrey's birthday
So sad we have to wait another year until it's Halloween again.

Little boys kept staring up at Wes like he was a superstar all night.

Coach Dad