Boo!

OK, that's someone else's pug but I couldn't resist! Happy Halloween everyone! We are expecting the usual flood of trick or treaters tonight and will be sitting out on our front steps until the candy runs out. Usually I get the dogs dressed up (to Mark's dismay) and they sit outside with us but I think it might be a little cold this year for our pampered fur babes!

There has been no change in our status this week but one of our new adoption friends got the good news yesterday that she passed court and will be traveling to get her daughter on November 16! We are so happy for her and relieved, quite frankly, as it took a few tries to get through court. As we are learning, waiting to get a referral is only half the battle. Getting through court seems to sometimes be an even bigger challenge and not everyone makes it through the first time. People can fail court for a variety of reasons, not all of which we fully understand yet, but one reason lately is that a new document has been required since the courts reopened in October (for those who don't know, the Ethiopian courts shut down for a few months during the rainy season). Our hearts go out to those who are having trouble getting through court. It must be agonizing to know your child is waiting for you and not be able to get to them.

We have also learned that Ethiopian adoptions are rapidly becoming increasingly popular and it is my understanding that each agency is now only allotted a certain number of court appointments per week. The combination of the new document, lots of adoptions and limited court dates seems to be slowing things down and our agency has upped their referral estimates from 3 - 5 months to 4 - 6 months. Alas, we knew that this could happen and that things can change quickly in an international adoption. We are hopping to be approved and officially on the wait list any day now, which means we might still be on track to have the kiddos home by next summer. We are, however, mentally preparing ourselves for missing that window, which would mean waiting out the rainy season to bring the kids home next fall. Either way, we know that Gladney will be doing everything they can to get us through this process quickly and we are getting closer every day! We hope to have some good news to report next week!

I know some of you are wondering how the nursery is coming along and hoping for some pictures. I promise, they are coming soon, but we decided to clean out every closet, drawer and shelf before launching into the remodeling of the rooms. We have just finished weeding out all our books, the basement, and we emptied the storage locker that Mark has had since before we met ('bout time!). Trying to fit two childern into your life sure is motivation to clear out the clutter!

Green Light Go!

Well, the draft of our Home Study report finally arrived on Thursday afternoon! We made some changes and sent it back Friday morning before work and now it is in the hands of our adoption agency for their review and feedback. I have been told this takes about a week. I am not holding my breath. After that the report goes off to CIS and we wait for our approval form. Then we have this last document notarized and off it goes through the authentication chain! Getting closer...but still a long way to go. Waiting is something we had better just get used to!

Lot's to do today so this post is going to have to be short and sweet. Off to Lowes to get some tools to strip the guest room of that old wall paper. Anyone need a barely used double mattress and box spring? Sorry, dear friends, it's back to the couch when you come to visit from now on!

Three Weeks and Counting

It has been three weeks since our final home study interview and still no sign of our home study report. Three weeks and one day to be exact, but who’s counting (me!). Three weeks feels like an eternity when you are waiting for something as important as this. Three weeks is enough time to watch the leaves turn from green to orange and fall to the ground…to make a few new friends…to learn how to say “I am your Mommy”, “Can I hold you?”, and “I love you” in Amharic…to wonder what your children will be like 8,479 times.

I am hoping that now that we are beyond the major Jewish holidays, where work is forbidden (what a good idea! I could use a couple of those days myself!), that our lovely, busy, Rabbi in training, social worker will focus on completing our home study!

“He that can have Patience can have what he will.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Happy Anniversary...

...to us! We celebrated our 3rd anniversary this past Thursday. It was a beautiful sunny 75 degree day...nothing at all like the blustery, rainy, cold weekend we got married! We were so happy that day I think the only time I really noticed the cold was when we were having this picture taken! We celebrated on Thursday by having a romantic dinner at a terrific tapas restaurant down the street from our house. Apparently the restaurant has been in business for 19 years, but we only just discovered it! We will definitely be returning. It was the best food and service that we have had since moving to CT!

You probably aren't reading this to hear about our dining experiences, so the adoption update is that all the documents we gathered for our dossier have been sent out for authentication. Huh? OK, let's take a step back. The first step in creating a "dossier", aka the set of official documents that will eventually be submitted to the Ethiopian government as proof that we are fit to parent, involves collecting medical reports, financial statements, letters of reference, FBI clearance, proof of insurance, proof of employment, color copies of our passports, a written statement explaining why we want to adopt from Ethiopia, birth certificates, marriage certificate, and a few other things. Each and every one of these documents must be authenticated, and the authentication chain looks like this:

1. Person writing the letter signs the document

2. Notary Public authenticates signature and date

3. County clerk of court authenticates notary's seal (some states skip this step)

4. Secretary of State authenticates county clerk or notary's seal

5. U.S. State Department authenticates the state's seal

6. Embassy of the foreign government authenticates the U.S. State Department's seal

7. Finally, after being mailed all over the place and stamped within an inch of its life, the document is ready for the dossier!

8. When all the required documents have been authenticated, the completed dossier goes off to Ethiopia

Phew! I am tired just thinking about it! I know this all might sound crazy, and it does at times feel like we are puppets on the string of a sadistic governmental puppeteer, but authenticating documents from another country is standard practice for all sorts of business dealings between countries and if you think about it from the perspective of the foreign government it makes sense. The foreign country sets up requirements that they think will "prove" that prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) are mentally, physically and legally up to the task (and believe me, Ethiopia's requirements are easier than some). Then, since they obviously can't just take our word for it, they need proof of the authenticity of the documents. In this day of high quality technology you can imagine how one might be able to trump up official looking documents that a foreign official might not be able to detect...and how do they know that the signatures are legitimate and not just the signature of someone's brother-in-law with a fancy stamp from Staples? You see where I'm going with this....

So, our documents have begun their world tour, and since we had documents originating in NY, CT, NH, ME, MI, CA, NJ, MA and probably a few other states that I am forgetting at the moment, the pages of our dossier are currently off visiting State Houses around the country. The Secretary of State will not notarize documents that aren't absolutely to-the-letter perfect, so for those of you who had to create these documents for us, this is why you received that long list of weird and detailed guidelines! It is also why the notary's commission needed to be good for two years. As soon as the notary's commission expires, so does our document, and we would have to go through the whole crazy authentication process all over again. As you can imagine, this could bring an adoption to a grinding halt! We have had one small hiccup so far...one notary's name could not be deciphered but we think it has been quickly resolved with another letter. Fingers crossed that the rest go through without a hitch!

FBI Approved

All our paperwork is done and we reached some key milestones over the past couple weeks. First of all, we had our finger prints taken for the FBI and then a few days later for CIS (immigration). We weren't sure what to expect but we anticipated something akin to the DMV with long lines and slow turn around times. I am pleased to report that the experience was the complete opposite and the whole thing was quick and easy. We sent our prints to the FBI and received our clearance letters back a mere 7 days later! Shocking!

The big thing that we are waiting for is the completion of our Home Study report. Mark and I have done all the things that we needed to do, which included ten hours of adoptive parent training, meeting with our social worker as a couple and individually, as well as an inspection of our home. I am pleased to say that we passed all of these things with flying colors...I even got a big hug at the end of my last appointment!...and the whole thing was pretty painless in spite of some pretty personal questions that we had to answer. Our social worker was wonderful and always made us feel like she was an advocate for us. Now the ball is in her court to write up the report, submit a draft to Gladney for their approval and feedback, and then send us five notarized reports (one for CIS, two for Gladney, one for our dossier and one for our records). Really nothing else can happen until this report is done so we are hoping and praying that she is able to get it done soon! She estimated three weeks from our last appointment so that would mean October 16th...stay tuned!

After the home study is done, CIS approval and Gladney approval will be the next big milestones. I don't think the Gladney part will be too hard and we have already submitted everything else that they need from us. CIS approval will just be a matter of waiting and I really can't figure out how long a wait it will be. Looking at other blogs has only shown me that the time frame varies widely from as fast as two weeks to as long as 3 months! It is my hope and best guestimate that we will get through these last steps by the end of December and officially enter the wait list some time in January. From there it’s just more waiting…Gladney is still predicting 3 to 5 months so our referral, which is when we know who our child(ren) will be, could happen in the spring or early summer!

To pass the time we are shifting our energies to the nursery. The nursery!!!! As I mentioned in our last blog, we have started visiting baby stores, testing out strollers and shaking cribs to see which ones are sturdy enough for our little ones! When we went to our appointment for CIS fingerprints we happened to park in front of a big baby store that had some very reasonably priced cribs that we may in fact purchase. First we need to do some rearranging by moving all the guest room furniture out of the little bedroom and moving all the office furniture (the VERY heavy office furniture) into the little room. Then we plan to put up beadboard and paint the walls in the old office/now nursery! This will keep us plenty busy for the next few months!

We are getting together with some of the other Gladney Ethiopia Families in our area next week for a Pumpkin Carving party. This may be more fun when we have little ones of our own but we are still looking forward to getting to know these families better. I will try to take some pictures and write about it next week.