Thursday, February 11
8:20 PM
I tried. And i cried.
hey. this week's been rough. you know what, i've no strength anymore, i can't tolerate anymore nonsense. it's just the beginning, but i already feel like giving up. of course, i expected myself to be stronger than this, i thought i could win this battle. i thought. but i think now, i can't. not in the state i'm in. even after letting go like nobody's business, i still feel miserable. even after all the confiding in jaya, even after shouting out loud, even after trying to get all hyped up, even after banging the piano, even after strumming the guitar so hard, even after scribbling on my wall, even after everything that i tried. i don't know where the problem lies. i am confused. i really am. and all i wanted was to be happy. is that happiness so hard to achieve? i really wonder, i tried so hard, that sometimes i think i just want to break down and cry.
8:20 PM
I tried. And i cried.
hey. this week's been rough. you know what, i've no strength anymore, i can't tolerate anymore nonsense. it's just the beginning, but i already feel like giving up. of course, i expected myself to be stronger than this, i thought i could win this battle. i thought. but i think now, i can't. not in the state i'm in. even after letting go like nobody's business, i still feel miserable. even after all the confiding in jaya, even after shouting out loud, even after trying to get all hyped up, even after banging the piano, even after strumming the guitar so hard, even after scribbling on my wall, even after everything that i tried. i don't know where the problem lies. i am confused. i really am. and all i wanted was to be happy. is that happiness so hard to achieve? i really wonder, i tried so hard, that sometimes i think i just want to break down and cry.
