UPT Phobia!

Ever since the last faulty UPT on my first beta day, i haven't really have the guts to pee on another stick to convince whether i am preggy or not..


But, few days ago, DH bought me one digital UPT and i was forced to do it..



phewww.. finally..!!!! After years of trying, the word "pregnant" appeared on UPT... :)


Ooh, btw, I did the fifth beta yesterday, it was 10,179.. Well, it clearly shows that my beta is indeed rising, and it will all depends on the scheduled ultrasound scan by end of this week..


Whatever my chances are, Im thankful to Allah for the positive UPT, and high no of beta that im getting.. Should i failed this time around, at least, for a short period of time, Allah has given me indescribable happiness that ive longed for, even, in a short period of time.. Alhamdulillah..

Beta O' Beta!

Apologize for the late update.. as i was having a biggg roller coster ride with my beta readings..

Well, i did my second beta 2 days after my first beta.. The result was quite dissapointing.. It was only 87.4 and it wasnt doubled up as I was hoped for.. Dr Wong predicted that i will be expecting my menses in 2-3 days.. Meaning to say, the whole IVF journey has failed..

Then i waited patiently, my menses didn't come up.. Without hesitation, i did my third beta.. Guess what? It was 843! Looking at the result, i was puzzled? Should i be excited about it? And again, Dr Wong gave me a negative hope.. He told me that there 2 possibilities of the my situation.. One, i am a late implanter or second, my embies are not in their best quality.. And further, Dr Wong assured me that my beta will drop in few more days..

Then, i did my fourth beta.. Guess what?? It was a freakin 3340!! So, i did my maths.. Ever since my second beta, the numbers kept on doubling.. So, what was that supposed to mean? I was scheduled to do the ultrasound scanning next week to confirm the pregnancy.. if my uterus is empty, it clearly means that im having a "chemical pregnancy" as they speak..

Well, i just hafta keep on praying and praying so that Allah will help me to bring miracles in my life.. pray and hope that the pregnancy will sustain until the end of 9 months period..

Whatever that Allah has bestowed upon me, truly, im thankful already.. Eventough Allah gave me a temporary happiness, i will not give up.. As i know, and i believe that everything happens for a reason.. :) At least, for the first time after years of fertility treatments, i obtained a positive beta! alhamdulillah..

p/s - dear babies, if you could hear me.. pls make urself visible during the ultrasound scan next week, ok? mummy is still very much hoping that you will present in my life..

Beta Day

I arrived at Sunfert as early as 8.00am with hope to get the results early. Well, i still hafta wait 2 hours to get the results..

while waiting, i feel tempted to buy UPT, just to sneak peek whats going on in my uterus. so, i bought 2 UPTs..

my hands were shaking n i waited patiently.. it was a BFN..!

i took the second UPT, it was a BFN..!

and u can guess my reactions huh? i cried like nuts! i was thinking about DH, how will he reacted? he must be really frustrated.. i continued to cry for like 2 hours in the restroom..

Then i head myself to the clinic n my name was called instantly.. i walked to the dr's room and said to him, "i know its negative dr, i did my upt already".. dr wong looked at me and said "no, u have a positive beta"...

WHATttt????? Was he joking? i look at the result and saw my beta number: 77.4..

yes, i know it is quite low, but at least, for the 1st time, after 3 ivf cycles, i have a positive beta! syukur alhamdulillah..

dr wong asked me to keep my fingers crossed n hope tht the beta no will be doubled up in 2 days..

ya allah, forgive me for all the sins ive commited.. i almost gave up but u give me hope to move on... please let me sustain this pregnancy.. ameen..