Wow its been so long
since my last post there has been so much going on... too much. But thats life. right?
My mind if constantly turning, changing, and thinking.
I can barely choose what i want from a breakfast menu so how am I supposed to make a decision like this?
well.. long story short?
My eyes have been opened and it was a lesson learned.
He made my decision much easier, but at the end of the day i know its one of the best decisions that im going to make for myself in while.
Some days I sit and i think.. what if we bump into each other? what am i going to say? do i even say anything? should I have him with me? what if shes with him? Do i be nice? na. well maybe i should be cause if not hell get cocky like oh man shes just hatin. yes i know cause thats something he would do. you think she knows who i am? what do you think he said? and then other days..... it doesnt cross my mind not once.
you know what the sad part is? there is no way that I will ever stop caring for him in some way. Im never going to stop having these questions that im never going to get answered.
I hope you see things in her that you didn't see in me.
I hope she gives you the comfort that you felt you didn't have with me.
I hope one day you realize the mistake you made, but i know thats a big ask from you.
honestly after all of this I want to thank you.
You helped me realize that through this, what i would call dysfunctional and complicated relationship and you would call game, I learned that love isnt something you force. its mutual. its an effort. its unexplainable. and this? it wasnt any of those things, but in my head spun it to aid as a remedy for the many things i had to work on within myself.
So i thank you.
"thank you for teaching me how to give."
