and they never learn.

Monday Night.
I came home and was hoping to relax with my brother and watch some anime. Before one episode could end, my brother and father got into a huge argument. Heated words were exchanged while I just stood there like an idiot. J said everything that was on my mind for 20 years of my life about my father. There was a slap and lots of table slamming. Dad wanted him out of the house. I couldn't take it and went into my room. But I stood behind my door.

J gave a long apology to Dad for the stuff he said. He said he wouldn't leave this place no matter what. Even if Dad didn't want him anymore, he'll still insisted on staying. The reason: He was my Dad's son.

After the whole fiasco, I went into my brother's room. I told him he was an idiot. if Dad were to ever say that to me, I'd be the first to leave. If my brother had left the house, I'd have followed him.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone of us in this family knows what 'family' truly is. So many things we still don't know about one another, so many things we're still hiding from each other. So many times, a family isn't home enough.

Today.
Or more like since last week, Mom and Dad went through a period of cold war. It started mostly because of Dad saying stuff like he's not making much from driving, he's gonna have to give more money to his folks and he can't be giving Mom his earnings daily as usual. He's only giving her $2k for all household expenses.

The next thing I find out is that he's also saving to get his own "room" in the house. He's partitioning the area between the rooms and installing the aircon.

Bear in mind that this whole situation was discussed before and the idea was put aside because of a multitude of very obvious problems.

Then.

Out of the blue, when the contractors came, they gave my parents a package price and now, they want to repaint the whole bloody house.

THAT. I violently object. How do you paint my room without moving that big ass thing in the middle of my room? How do you move it without moving the stuff that's in that shit?? Mom thinks just by paying the agreed price, those men can perform miracles or something. Totally nuts. THEY promised that they would let ME redo MY room the way I want it AFTER I graduate. I want my own wall colours and my own bloody furniture. I fucking want my own mirror!

I DO NOT want to do it just cuz a certain someone thinks it's good to do all these expensive shit after a good day's sleep.

Do you see any sense in this???

Don't ALL decisions made about a house include EVERYBODY in the fucking house? It most definitely feels as if I'm renting a fucking room in a flat.

Can you believe it??? Who in this world makes this kind of decision without any planning at all?? They don't look at books, find those with the paint shades thingies books and then decide on the colour they want. they do it by saying yes, then get the contractor to bring the books in. How can you ever make a good decision on a good colour for the rooms in the house without living in regret for the next decade or so???

Now I see why the whole bloody place is in one blue colour.

Fucked up.

The contractors just left for their dinner. I'm gonna head out for salsa practice soon. The fucking place is in a fucking mess. I fucking wish I can go book a hotel and stay there for a week.

Studying

They say Bedok hosts the "siao" people.

Kinda true.

Kinda believable.

Kinda funny.

You meet a lot of them when you study till 3am at Mac's.

Haha, I'll tell you about them some other time.

Meantime, MY FIRST PAPER'S ON SATURDAY!!!

panic.panic.panic.

Resolution: I'm staying off MacDonald's after my exams. Ugh.

Oh, has anyone heard of Meat Loaf?
The singer sounds very very familiar to me but I can't remember the song that got me hooked onto him =(

I think the song got lost somewhere when my computer crashed a while ago.

I am bored

Bored. Bored. Bored.

There's nothing to do but study and I can't think of anything exciting to do rather than study. I have a shitload of revision to do for the whole semester since I pretty much neglected everything during the messed up project period.

Oh right, I forgot to mention that all my projects are completed. FINALLY. Hee, and I got a DISTINCTION for my individual essay! Whoopie~

AND, the lecturer was pleased with my references =D~
Ahem, this goes to show that I'm not as incompetent as a certain someone would like to believe.

My exams are starting soon...

25 Oct - 10 Nov

Can't wait for it to be over.

Those people overseas better get your asses back into Singapore. My holidays are at your disposal =P I'm only gonna be taking driving lessons and learning how to bake. No job for me this hol. Just fun, fun, fun, sleep and fun!

Stupid

I fell asleep with my labtop on my lap and the aircon on at full blast.

I got burn marks on my thighs and neck cramps from that position.

Dammit.

I need to get burn cream.

Argh.

Stupid.

Fucking FUCKING Pissed

It's bloody 1.30am in the morning and I'm fuming mad. There's this ball of fire rolling in my belly and I fucking want to kill this stupid bitch.

For 2 over semesters, I have been telling myself to stay calm, control my feelings and all that self-help mambp-jumbo-nonsense just to get over every single thing this bitch does or say. NOW, just hours into our dateline for Market Research project she all but screws up the references that she has ample time to do. I find out and of course, in the logical state of mind, I correct the bloody thing. ANYONE with a pair (or even two) of eyes and the Harvard Referencing guide by their side can SEE that there are mistakes in the paper. The references within the paper don't even have a proper and STANDARD format! Everything's messed up, spaces are not where they are supposed to be, hyperlinks not editted out, authors not properly cited, dates wrongly recorded.

AND SHE GOES TO SAY:

oh. i didnt know u can make decisions, without consulting ALL ur team-mates. dont teach me about referencing, because the referencing that you did for marketing principles is shit. and its one of the reasons why i questioned on what is wrong with the references. and talking abt that. i was just questioning, you dont have to be rude, and shut me up by saying "look, i'll correct them and send them aout alright?"

thank you for sacrificing ur slp for doing up this references all by urself, key personnel

yes. im being sarcastic

Then, she just left the conversation. I admit I was rude. I don't mean it and I still don't. No matter how bad a person is to me, I don't do that. I was just really angry. Everyone in the group had contributed a lot and so much more than her. Now, at the last leg when I'm planning to look through my own report and finish my own tutorials, I have to see this shit. Just by saying one sentence, she blows up. Excuse me, I think if I had her temper, I'd be pulling her down to a bitch fight. And I'll fucking win.

Here's my reply. I just typed it into oblivion since she signed offline. Fucking coward.

well, since you so abruptly went offline, i don't get the chance to say sorry, but i'm gonna do it anyway.

sorry.

i didn't mean to be rude but because some things have upset me here at home, i didn't mean for it to be reflected in my speech here.

i'm sorry you took it that way

i only took the initiative to change the references because there were glaringly obvious.

thank you for expressing your opinions about my referencing in marketing principles. my memory has pretty much gone foggy on that incident, although I remember I tried doing it by the guide provided to us but it was still changed in the end.

well, if i offended anyone by taking this initiative to check everyone's references according to the guide, then i'm really sorry. i just don't want to be penalised by something that can be avoided.

as for teaching you about referencing, i would never dare do that.

you asked me, i answered. that's all.

I don't get her. Like seriously, she acts like there's something shoved up her ass or something. I changed even my group leader's references and she only said to send the corrected document back to her so that she could find out what's wrong. With this bitch, it's a "I remember the past and I'll not hesitate to bring it up, I'm still correct" fucked-up attitude.

In the past project, I remember trying to make head and tail of the bloody referencing guide and after half a day when I was finially done, it was a neat little piece with the usual unglamourous commas, random italics and whatnots. They (or should I say this bitch) changed it to something easier to understand with all the required information missing. What did I do? NOTHING. What did we get in the end? PASS. The lousiest grade I've gotten so far.

Whatever. This isn't the first time she's like that with me. I've wasted enough time and attention on her. Totally unworthy. Fucking stupid. I just needed to whine. Maybe some day I should post her other emails to me. Totally retarded.

I'm hungry...grr~