IOP (Intensive Out Patient) ME!

18 Days... yahoo. Today was the second day of my intensive recovery. I absolutely love it, and would recommend it to anyone who has an addiction. My counselor Tammy is the coolest chick! She has been sober for 23 years and is my inspiration. We have a lot in common, and she knows where I'm coming from. So I meet with my group three times a week for three hours or so. We meditate a lot and have some really great discussions. I leave there not wanting to party or be entertained by alcohol, but wanting to do more with my life, and make a positive impact on those around me instead of a negative hurtful impact. I can't worry about yesterday, or tomorrow, but only what decisions I make today! I love you all, and you the most..(you know who you are!)

AA

Well I recieved my first chip today. In AA you are given chips that are different colors to represent the length of your sobriety. The chip that I got was a white one which is the Serenity Chip. I have been sober for 15 days now. It is hard and kind of boring. The meetings that I have been attending are good, and I feel like I have a lot of support there. On monday I will start an Intensive Out Patient Therapy. I am going to A/D Phsycotherapy and looking forward to it. The counselor there is super awesome and I can't wait to work with her. Not much else is going on with me except I don't feel good today, flu or something. Well I will keep ya posted on my progress and recovery.

Still Sober...

To anyone who even reads this blog, I am STILL SOBER, granted it's only been 10 days, I feel good! I actually went to my school today and started the long process of setting up my classroom! I'm a little overwhelmed because I've never set up a 3rd grade class before, but it will be an adventure and hopefully fun! Can't wait to update you on the progress, summer is almost over.. one more month.. ahhhh. Time flies when you get to my age, but slower when you're sober for sure! XOXO Loves!

Treatment

I've decided to check myself into an intensive out-patient program for eight weeks. It was a hard decision because it is summer time for me, and this will take up the rest of it, but I want my life back, and the freedom to be a decent person. The program I'm entering is called Recovery Works, and it is up at the University of Utah Hospital. It is out patient which means I still get to work, and do whatever, but they take blood samples weekly, and you will be kicked out if tested positive. Some of you may think that this is too intense, but I am a funtioning alcoholic, who doesn't know when to say no. I want to stay young and active as long as I can, and I know at the rate I've been acting, it won't be possible. Maybe I drink more than some, maybe less, but I know I've woken up with bloody noses for no reason, or woken up in a weird place, even with good friends, I know this isn't who I am. I live for the outdoors, teaching, reading, loving, caring, and being me. I hope anyone who reads this understands, can relate, or knows how truly sorry I am for any hurt I've caused. This will be a long road, but I know it's the right thing to do.

P.S. If anyone feels the way I do, and needs the number to Recovery Works.... it is 587-3235 Up at the UNI!

Life is getting BETTER....

Okay, I will start here... I'm going to dedicate my blog to my sobriety. I've made a promise to myself and God that I will not drink anymore because I have ruined my life, and hurt many people around me. I recently had a wake up call, okay, more like 50 wake up calls over the past year. It's about time I did something about it. I really doubt anyone is reading my blog, but it's good therapy for me to be writing in it. I took my last drink on the fourth of July, how patriotic, but I looked around at my surroundings and realized that I wasn't happy. I felt more sad than happy, and I don't like that feeling anymore. The only person that can change that feeling is me. Before I can be happy I have to realize that there is something I am powerless over, and that is Alcohol, my good little buddy. I have no power over alcohol, but I do have the power to not be around it anymore, and start making positive changes in my life. Seriously, with what I have spent on alcohol, I could buy a cute little house, go on a vacation, and not be dealing with car problems anymore. If I didn't drink I might still have a boyfriend, I might still have my family's trust and respect, I might not have a wreckless driving ticket on my record, I might actually be happy. So on the fourth of July that is where it ended. This blog is my journey towards sobriety, and if anyone wants to join me I encourage you to...

P.S. I bought a new awesome camera, so I will be documenting my life as a sober person. I'm determined to find other things to do then party my life away... I am almost 30 arrghh.