________________________.:my entries:.

who ever knew choices are so difficult to make?
after a whole restless night of deliberating, i have made mine.

It's strange how things work out.

After the applications, (which I tried my best to stagger) and the weeks of waiting, suddenly all the calls for job interviews that I was keen about come within days of each other.

On the day I was offered an almost DREAM POSITION, I had 4 other interviews lined up over the next week and got 4 new calls asking if I could be scheduled for an interview.

I dont know what it all means.

A sign that says i should explore other options, or a temptation to test if I really know what it is i should be accepting?

But one thing's for sure, this offer is different from the other one i got 1 month ago. i still remember the feeling when i got that offer. it was that of apprehension, and worry, wondering if accepting would lead to a sucky career in a line that im not too keen to explore.

this time, when i got the call, i was contented. not elated for reasons i shall not divulge, but quietly happy. and of cos, as it sunk in that this is almost a dream job too good to be true, that allowed me to pursue a passion while removing some of the negative and uncontrollable aspects of pursuing this passion, i got excited.

As i was talking to C abt it last night, i really sounded as though i have accepted the offer (which i have not at this point in time), as though i'm really going to work there and be part of the team. And even as i lay on my pillow, my thoughts went to rubbishy stuff like the work hours, what i'd love to wear during dress down days, the people i can meet for lunch, the kind of opportunities i would be getting in this dept....till i was too sleepy to think further.

isnt this already my answer? an offer im eager and happy to take on, a career in an area ive great interest in, at a company that provides training and opportunities to employees.

i should be satisfied with this answer.

went with e family to take grad photos today @ Werkz, which has some tie-in with our school which makes them the official photographer at commencement.

while the studio looked pretty cool with the coloured background sets and bookshelve displays, along with the whole range of graduation gowns and shirts that customers could rent/borrow, i felt that the photographer wasn quite as personable as I hoped. all of us didnt quite feel at ease with the poses that they made us adhere to. i felt kinda awkward standing still with my body contorted and head tilted till it felt strained. they didnt even say when the shot was going to be taken, so there we were, smiling till our grinz stiffened and not knowing when that flash was to come. the proclaimed high-tech studio lighting and photography quality somehow doesnt go with the "highly-mute" and "highly-unfriendly" photographer.

i've seen better photographers that would talk to their "subjects" and put them in a relaxed mood, enough to coax a comfortable and natural smile. even if the quality of the prints may not compare to this studio (or so they claim), i think with the customers happy, they would more likely be willing to fork out the money to make purchases of the pix.

in any case, after hearing of my cousin's horrendous meeting with yet another grad studio, i thought i'd be prepared for ths sales crap this one were to offer. well, not quite, it seems.

my package consists of a personal shot and a family shot, blown up to 8R and 14R respectively, along with 5 * personal and 5 * family shot in 3R size to be put in an album. so after taking the pix, we were contemplating "upsizing" the family portrait to 20R (which isnt all that big anyway, but better to look at than 14R).

so, after taking several shots in 2 different bkgrds (both individually and with e family), we were thinking of choosing which 5 shots we wanted in the album. i was told that, for the family shots, i had to choose only 1 bkgrd out of the 2, and they would print 5 shots of us in that single bkgrd for the album. when i questioned why i cant have a combination of the 2 bkgrds, they explained that it's a "different setting", so it would be a "different pricing".

#%&@$#4%^&

well done. u're telling me this after i've taken the photos?! den why bother with the 2 bkgrds right? but nooo...this is to give u an "option" with the other bkgrd, they said.

#%&@$#4%^&

what abt the personal shots? do i have to pick one bkgrd too???? well...no...cos that's a different pricing altogether. you get to choose 5 pictures from a mixture of pictures from both bkgrds.

-_-'''

well, naturally, im not one who is willing to except such a ridiculous explanation. i fought for my rights, of course. but to no avail. i was stubborn, but they were MORE stubborn. *growls*

and so we tried the "let's compare studios" trick.

so...why is the switch to a 20R so expensive? (i had to add $200 more, mind u) is the quality any better than what XX studio is offering??? (i did my reseach) so they went on with how the other studios cant match up to them, and told us to compare the quality of the pictures once it's done. (as if i can reject it after i compare mey?)

no matter. end of story. we were suckered into sticking to the package and buying the 20R picture. let's see if it's really that good when it's all printed out and framed.

i have officially graduated!!! =)

went to catch dim sum dollies yesterday..and it was GREAT! good old singaporean humour that only us locals would understand and laugh at. it made me smile to note that the theatre was packed to the brim with singaporeans, and not with rich expats that live here.

to me, this is what developing the local arts scene is about - creating and supporting homegrown productions that us locals would find a joy to watch. who else would comprehend the mixture of english, mandarin, malay, hokkien, cantonese dialacts that is uniquely singaporean? political jokes of our ministers, of our government and stat boards? pseudo indian, malay, japanese accents? girls in girls school uniforms breaking rules and of course singapore girls in their kebayas..

it's local humour at its best. =)

after slacking and delaying i guess its time to continue on my summer trip.

15 May 2007

took the flight from toronto to chicago. security checks were once again a chore. just because it's an international flight. fortunately for us, we were pretty seasoned by now.

one thing i do like abt the chicago airport is the efficiency of the airport shuttle service. the counter is stationed just at the baggage pickup counter, so anyone can see it. costs are clearly stated on the brochure so the traveller can avoid anyone trying to "ketok" him. our driver was a young guy, who obviously has no regard for any traffic rules. there was a jam into the city, so he just created his own lane along the road shoulder and drove right through it. no matter. we got to our destination in one piece. *phew*

the hostel is definitely a place with many students/budget travelers. saw many on laptops, and at the computer terminal. the lift takes FOREVER to get to the next floor, so i guess for those who travel light, it's a better choice to pick the stairs. not us though. we had 5 mths worth of stuff with us.

our room was a room for 4 people, 2 bunk beds, just because its the only ones with a private toilet. (yes, im pretty anal abt the private toilet issue, cos id rather bath/brush my teeth in peace) the door seemed insecure so we backed our luggage against it each night just in case.

dinner was a treat at a sushi restaurant (run by chinese i might add). frequented by many ang mos but hardly any japanese. bh says u can tell how authentic a jap restautant is by the number of jap customers. there were none. but whatever. it was a sushi buffet and we both hv not had any jap food for months. besides, it's a treat. =) food was decent, and i think we let ourselves down with our "poor" appetites. my, can the americans eat! the plates and plates of sushi (not sashimi, but solid sushi with RICE). it's amazing and quite a sight to watch.

16 May 2007

took the subway and headed down to navy pier. i love the pier! although the view is of lake michigan and not of any ocean or sea, it's beautiful. i guess the sun reflecting off the clear blue waters, along with the many boats docked nearby. i dont know why i like it so, or what makes it so special, but i do.

we took a walk down the magnificent mile - a whole street of high end branded goods. not that i can even afford anything along that street, but just to take in the sights, how people in busy chicago shop and spend their dough.

took a very brief walk through the free chicago zoo. nothing much to see really, the zoo is not very well maintained. i guess that's why it's free or perhaps cos it's free, that's why it's not well maintained. anyway.....we were chased out cos it was near closing time that we got there. =(

in the evening after dinner, we headed for a free jazz concert we chanced upon. there was a pianist, a bassist (is this how u spell), and a singer. it was a good performance, lots of improv, and u can tell the performers really enjoy themselves. we had a good time. =)

17 May 2007

took a bus to the museum area, but we didnt quite want to go into any. i think all the museums we saw during the weekend trips kinda took its toll. no matter, we took pictures of us OUTSIDE instead. haha. lots of people, especially children who came in school buses and all, visiting the shredd aquarium, the adler planetarium etc.

took a really long walk down towards the buckingham fountain and got some photos before lunch time. in the late afternoon, we headed down to millenium park for more sightseeing. not many activities going on that this time of the year. the festivities begin in june unfortunately. =(

entry into the art institute of chicago was free that evening, and since it was just beside millenium park, hey, why not? but then again, after we were there, walking around, attempting to appreciate the paintings of the great artists like picasso et al, trying to identify the meaning behind sculptures and collections, we realised that art is definitely not something we can easily appreciate. ok, so both of us were once students of art, we know a bit abt impressionism, cubism, blah blah, so i guess the pieces from those centuries could appeal to us some. but the contemporary pieces are beyond us. some things are just plain weird. i dont quite think it's "art", but heck, who am i to judge when i cant tell one painting for the other?

18 May 2007

our last day wasnt really a day at all, it was more of a morning at chicago. our flight was at 7am, so we hired an airport shuttle to pic us up at 5am. it's really quite dreadful waking at 4am just to catch a flight. but the most beautiful moment of my trip happened then, on our way to the airport. i saw the nicest sunrise i'd ever seen. at first dark, but glowing, and turning into a myrid of colours of red, orange, purple, setting off a gorgeous reflection off lake michigan, then bursting into a bright orange-yellow as it rose into the clear blue sky. it was a lovely memory to take home from chicago.

people keep asking me why ive not gotten a job, with my supposed "decently high" GPA and the fact that i have not one but two degrees. i dont know. perhaps the openings dont suit me, perhaps im picky, perhaps im just waiting for the right job to come my way, perhaps im indeed unwanted in this market.

i have been looking, really i have...the job ads on the papers, school career sites, job portals on the web...but nothing suitable...im applying to all companies that seem to have suitable openings in marketing, HR, events management. see? im open to a broad spectrum of job categories. why wont some company that i want, want me back?

must i really step into the accounting profession to be able to find employment? is finance all there is to the "services sector" that singapore is developing itself to become? why is it so tedious finding the right job? what is the right job for me? =(

and my expectations for starting pay is not even the average pay (according to the job surveys) an smu grad earns!

ok..after a long almost-2-month absence, im back. somehow blogging is no longer a large part of my life. i'm too lazy to blog. yes, this, even though im technically very free being unemployed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11 May 2007

and so i bade farewell to dear quiet charlottesville...a place i called home for the 5 months that passed. a place i found independence. a place that holds many memories and unique experiences for me. a place i will definitely miss as i think back and reflect on how i've spent my life away from my family and friends back home.

it wasnt a teary farewell, it was, in fact, a very rushed and stressful one. i spent the last night in CHO packing, cleaning, having little/no sleep at all. it's not really how i pictured it to be, (i would hav preferred to be sipping a cuppa downtown, enjoying a gelato, and getting a good night's sleep on my warm cosy bed), but i had no choice. packing had to be done.

and so we set off for Montreal early morn. our accom at montreal was a quaint little hostel called Le Gite du Plateau Mont-Royal. Dont ask me why, but somehow the lady at the check in front desk reminded me of Marie from Bourne Identity. Perhaps it's the accent or the hairstyle, but i thought she was attractive.

took a walk along little italy, to chinatown, and finally settled on hotdogs for dinner from a shop along a sidewalk. the people mending the shop spoke only french and the menu was in french. it kinda irks me how they didnt really entertain us, just cos we didnt understand. to me, it was being somewhat racist, and i was a bit pissed. the only saving grace was that when we finally managed to communicate what we wanted, the dogs were actually very tasty.

12 May - Montreal

we spent the day touring montreal. mainly walking along old montreal, visiting the notre dome church, taking pictures, etc. it so happened there was a carnival there, so many people were out and about, creating a lively atmosphere.

montreal is very french-y. u kinda feel like u're in a part of france, as many people speak only french, and the street signs are all in french. we had to ask people what the signs mean, especially when it came to parking. in a way, there's a snooty, french-ish feel to montreal. it makes me wonder what it's like being in france. would you be treated differently if you didnt know french?

evening time, we drove 5 hrs towards toronto. how do u tell u're nearing toronto? when the french signs turn to english! hahaha...tiring drive but we made it there under 5. =) in the process, i think we killed lots of flies and bugs cos the front of our car was filled with dead ones at the end of the drive. eeks.

13/14 - Toronto

met up with robin in toronto. accom was kinda "upgraded" cos the place we initially booked for was full. lucky us. it's another hostel, called All Days House, which is actually kinda like a big bungalow, with rooms and common toilets. nice and clean too.

visited Casa Loma, CN Tower, Royal Ontario Museum, Hockey Hall of Fame, and Niagara Falls. We spent a whole day at Niagara, taking the Maid of the Mist boat ride, which kinda brought us to the heart of the falls, and the experience being sprayed by the mists from the falls was amazing, fun and very very wet.

will continue on our next destination in the next post.

_________.:tag me:.