________________________.:my entries:.

juz had a really wonderful lunch at the hotel restaurant, courtesy of celina...another colleague...she's a shi jie fr vj too…and her “love story” wif her husband is similar to mine..less the complications and it’s a success story too..cos now she has 2 pretty daughters wif him…. =) so sweet rite? Anyway, lunch was good…I especially love the desserts…omg!!! Cheesecake..again..hehehe…whee…wad a treat…now im feeling absolutely bloated…

dear is gg for matric today…wonder if he’ll meet anyone he’s familiar wif there…aiyah…his gd frens all in e other rival uni…so quite kelian…actually, I was quite kelian too lor…come to think of it…oh well…tt’s a yr ago liao…

well, looks like I set sat aside for nothing lo…gonna get tua by bh afterall..so prob will be free to attend any gathering whatsoever…so shd I juz organise..haha…j and h’s bday comin liao..i haf no idea wad to get them…xianz…another hole in e pocket...

today is my last day at the hotel...feel quite sad wor...it was raining this morning...wonder if God knows im feeling blue? susan called in sick today...poor dear...haiz...hope she's not too seriously ill...well, im sure gonna miss the chance to say one last goodbye to her...she's been so nice towards me thru my whole stay here...

i gave ah poo tuition yest...my first ever official tutee...so intereating ya? haha...well, i muz say i think im pretty rusty liao lo...previously i would have been able to handle tis easily...but it went pretty well i guess...no official complaints...

oh ya...there was a nationwide blackout last nite...for a moment it was damn cool!!! haha...at first i tot it was only my hse tt went konk cos sometimes tt happens when the power trips...but when i looked out of the window...the whole street was in total darkness...i muz say, my family is damn prepared la...immediately got dunno how many torches being turned on...at least one for each person in e household...tt's excluding the light fr all hps...haha...mom didn allow me to go out for a drive wif dear...cos she said it was too dangerous...with all the traffic lights out n all...sigh....so in e end me n mei spent a romantic moment out on the swing...e moon was shining so damn brightly like it neva did b4...lucky there was a cool breeze...so yep...fortunately, power came back on again 30mins later...we're luckier than other areas i hear...

felt quite melancholic later tt nite...dunno y also...most likely PMS blues...i hate tt...it doesn help tt all he wanted was to go to sleep...i kept him on e phone as long as i cud...i think i juz wanted the company...his company..even if its on the phone...but all i get is a cold line over at e other end...literally silence between us...geez...so saddening...tt e one person i would turn to first when im feeling down is not always there for me...at tt moment i really missed laoba...at least tt's one person i could always count on as my late nite phone companion... n even thou we dun haf to say anything on e phone (hrm..i think a lot of pple dun get dis...y stay on e phone when u dun talk..but it's juz e presence of the person...tt's quite hard to explain la...) u feel very comforted lo...but boh pian...laoba is far far away...

hrm...had a disturbing dream last nite...i dreamt of dear's ex...n in e dream...there were e 3 of us...n 2 of them were wearing "qing lu zhuang"...so lame lor...white top n black bottoms...i remember tt in e dream...i was questioning him abt it...(cos he neva wears white n black) den he brushed me away...n den SHE came over n called me a bitch...y did i steal her bf...wad e hell...so i told her its not my fault tt u dunno i have been existing all this while...cos someone didnt tell u abt me...and anyway...i wasn e one in e picture when they broke up...heck...and den i woke up cos e alarm rang...so weird...of all e pple in e world...y e hell did i dream of her? *sigh*

here i am...sitting in e office...munching on honey stars...yep..brought them in as my food ration...hungry la! =P my colleagues are amused tt im eating honey stars at my age...hey...wad's wrong wif cereal?? but anyway...i'm gonna miss working here...wif e girls and bitching sessions (however rare)...and bugging them for work to do...

oh...there might be a tiny opening for me at other depts...pull a bit of strings cos at HR i get to interact wif other depts anyway ma...so i know e pple...n i juz might be able to get transferred to some place where they need me... =)

mom's bday today...so

happy birthday mommy!!!

haha...she's prob neva see it anyway...oh...my uncle so farnie..called me dis morning to tell me it's "your mother's birthday"...DUH...as if i dunno....haha...but at least he remembers... =)

i'm so BORED at this moment in time...i'm in office...yes... supposed to be working...and as usual i've completed all tt they've thrown at me for e day...2 of my colleagues haf gone for athletics training...one colleague is off...only boss n susan left...n they r conducting interviews i believe...

oh ya..today is "ocean day"...so cool..they were showing Finding Nemo in the canteen during lunch break..hehe..i had fun watching la...n they had little bowls of guppies placed at every table...and pictures of sea creatures pasted on the doors...oyster shells...yupz...e whole "ocean theme"...not bad sia?? =)

essentially 2 more hrs to waste...oh noo...so much time...wad to do??? *groan*

work

ok...today's been an okay day...at least i was kept busy in office...hrm..i think im like e only person who's so happy to be given work to do in office man...my colleagues were damn amused...cos i've been gg ard asking if they haf stuff for me to do....n everybody shake head...but today i did some powerpoint work...sourced for pix for OCEAN DAY..which is like a theme day for e hotel..blah blah...so yeah...n i've got some typing for tml... =)

well, in any case, i'll b out of a job soon...next wk's my official last day...xianz.. either i slack e remaining time or find myself another job...hrm..boss has been asking me y i come into office so early...cos for e past few days i've been gg in at 8:30 instead of 9...aiyah..boh pian..now tt dad's got dis new contract, gotta wake up early or else i'll miss my transpo to e train station...but i think dis whole gg to work early thingy is definitely not helping my waistline..why? cos when i reach raffles place early, i'd go ard n walk walk...n end up buying breakfast...yep...one one hand, spend money...on e other, get fatter!!! oh NOOO!!! *groan* but ok la..one more wk to go, so how much harm can tt be???

susan says she'll b giving me a treat on my last day...so cool...will be dining at the hotel restaurant...my first time there man!! haha..wonder if the food is really good... try n i'll let u all know ya? =P but i still wanna try their chocolate buffet!!!

im an auntie!!!

oh man..i'm an auntie!!! geez...my couz gave birth to a BIG, but healthy baby boy on tues...he's 4-plus kg...which is considered huge..i was only 3kg according to mom... yeah...went to e hospital to visit...n got to carry my darling nephew...oh man...he's so adorable...looks like his dad...inclusive of a double chin...*giggle* babies are all juz cute la...everything about them is so tiny n cute...and they can do no wrong lo...well, perhaps except cry...hahah...so yeah..maternal instincts all up when i held him in my arms...*sigh*

important days

juz a couple more mins and it'll the time of the mth...wonder if dear remembers...i sure hope he does...but he's juz not e "i'll-sms-u-at-midnite" kinda person...

mom's bday is coming...yep...decided to bring her for a mani/pedi thingy...cos she hardly ever pampers herself tt way...so yeah...tot it wud b nice...but she's so cute..she was like saying...i juz cut my nails ley..how to go??? but i know she's secretly happy tt im bringing her there...hehehehe....

popo's bday is coming too...darn...i haf no idea wad to get her...come to think of it..i've not visited her in a long time...sheesh...

is communication and trust the key elements to having a stong and sustainable relationship?

dia n chris r gettin married...i'm so happy for them...they are like so good for each other...how is it that u juz know that "he" is "the one"???? don't people change/grow over time? like how pple are different when they are in sec sch...jc...army...uni...when they come out into e working world? had dinner wif june n co. the other evening...we were celebrating june's bday...and we were juz talking abt how it is tt we prob wun be thinking of settling down so early n so young even thou we might haf set an age target to be married...like 25? bcos we aren easily contented souls...we're juz leaving our options open for as long as we can cos someone better might just come along...or somethings might change and affect what u might haf as a couple now...or maybe u feel that there are still some "imperfections" in e other person and u're waiting for some miracle to happen to change it....so u juz don't get committed...so to a certain extent...i admire chris n dia's devotion towards each other.."daring" to take tt step.. even thou e wedding is prob gonna b held 3 yrs fr now...

it's good to haf a girl's nite out once in a while..cos u get to see different perspectives...about e same issue..n u know they are not like words juz to fu yan or make u happy cos they are not like "involved" in the relationship...n it's probably issues that they might face or will likely face in the future...

and so i've decided tt jealousy issues...largely MY PROBLEM...it's so cliche to say "it's not u, it's me"...but i think i gotta admit tt somehow...cos i do agree tt i'm definitely more sensitive n more easily upset than other girls...it's juz so difficult to try to use reason to overwrite emotions...maybe it's cos his track record aint exactly that clean either...but for a long while, he hasn done anything to antagonise me...and i shd learn to contain my feelings...not let every little thing bother or upset me so much...

we had a talk last nite...cos some issues cropped up again...i know i've been putting a considerable amt of pressure on him...it's not doing e relationship any good...but like wad he said...his frens b4 me can't change...so i've only gotta accept them...n there are limits as to what he will and will not do for me...which i can understand...but thing is, to be dreadfully, brutally honest...i cannot trust him wholeheartedly...bcos i know tt he will lie if concealing e truth makes me happy...he will lie if me not-knowing make life easier for him....maybe not lie...but conceal info...juz don't say stuff...n i hate tt...really i do..cos he's kinda trapped between a rock n a hard place...cos if he says sth tt upsets me...his life wun b all sunshine either...if i find out stuff myself, it wud b worse...so it's difficult...

i wonder wad would really happen if i cant take it one day? cos u know..certain pple can never be out of his life...not completely...would i give up? tt stubborn streak in me finally caving in? tt would be heartbreak i think...cos thou i do not trust...i do love him a whole lot...

my colleagues were havin some lunchtime discussion e other day...peong was sayin tt a guy will more likely than not succumb to temptation...this, coming fr a guy, is quite interesting actually...he told us of how a fren would sms his wife "sweet dreams, good nite honey..." while in a brothel having sex with another...which makes me come to think, can men ever be trusted? hey...im not a man-hater or anything...but true stories like these are making me cynical beyond hope...for all u know when u're having a romatic dinner wif ur partner, he calls another girl right in front of u and u think it's juz another soccer buddy or sth...

UGH...im so screwed up...i think mayb it's best tt i shd juz be a nun or sth...
but of cos...life wud be so boring w/o men! >_^

it's been some time since my last post...too lazy to blog la...

well, spent e wkend watching sex n e city season 2...thanks to pz for lending me e vcd... =D yep...i love tt show...it's humorous, witty...n it deals wif an issue tt pple know abt but hardly eva speak of in sg...i think it's still a conservative society we haf...i mean...think abt it...my mom would flip if she knew i was watching SATC...

went to celebrate father's day last sat....yeah i know...im 1 wk early...who cares...my dad didnt seem to mind at all...i hope he enjoyed e treat at e east coast seafood place...to me...e food was ok la...but i think my parents were tryin to save me money by not ordering sharks fin soup...which incidentally is my favourite anyway...ha...had chilli crab thou...yum yum... =P

ooh...today i tagged along when my colleague brought e new-comers for hotel orientation...it's so super cool i tell u...cos we get access to all the nice suites n stuff...there's e loft suite(which is basically 2 levels...specially popular wif couples having their wedding at e hotel...but in my opinion...it's not romantic n cosy enuff) and the governor's suite...which is grand indeed! wonderful stereo systems and a whole living room for whoever u need to entertain...plus an office...and of cos the biggest room of all...e far east suite...where mariah stayed in during her visit to sg... yeah...it was HUGE! but too big if u're juz 1 or 2 pple...it gets a bit eerie...but den again...perks include ur own private balcony and a private lift! how cool is tt! haha...den of cos took e tour ard e rest of the hotel...blah blah...e pool is pretty small...but it overlooks e singapore river...totally "open" concept...but i had fun...yep yep...esp e tea-break after...i LOVE e chocolate desserts...*drool* ate 2 pieces n i felt guilty...ha!

rise n shine...it's a beautiful day!! =)

yup...in high spirits today cos it's FRIDAY!! (even thou tml is still a work day..eek!)ooh...im working on ppt presentation for my boss...haiz..reminds me of wad i used to do last time at my previous temp job...piece of cake! *grinz*

aiyah..i observed how come pple really haf no dress sense at all...haiz..saw dis woman with brown curry pok hair, purple nails(and i mean really purple like zi luo cha), carrying a red handbag n she's damn old lor...ewww...n e other day saw a teenager wif green nails...ash coloured hair which was superby messy n in knots(is tt e fashion!?!? gosh!), mini skirt n blue toes... *faint*

ok...nuff bitching...beta get back to work...for now...hehehe..

tzetong's pix of VSA camp

oh...dear says he's gg on a trip again...to shanghai... sighs...

hmm...it's 6 liao..can go off...shall go visit pat's dad in hospital...

blogging from office rite now...juz waiting to go home man...today was quite senang in office...made a few corrections to my excel sheets...print dept graphs for boss...go out to meet my "client" for lunch n collect my payment!! (yay!!! now got money to buy shoes!!! =)) den after lunch went out to get printing quotations...shun bian go see shoes...WHEE!!!!

but den hor..quite sad la..there was dis nice pair at heatwave but dun haf my size!! and charles n keith having sale...but den i was debating if i shd buy dis other pair...quite ok lor..wif a little ribbon.. haha..looks more "nu ren"...unfortunately, it's a pair of flats n i prefer a slight bit of heel...cos look nicer n on rainy days wun get wet...hehehe...

anyway...yeah..come back n sort out e used forms n envelops...n slack n slack n slack...

on a brighter note...met LM for lunch today...at least lunch breaks can be more "entertaining" now...instead of having to dine wif strangers at the staff canteen...thou dis means i hafta spend money...darn...

perhaps it's juz wishful thinking on my part or maybe my expectations are too high...

an evening tghr, in my opinion, is more than juz e narration of a trip and looking at photos...

clearly, my body language doesn show my feelings...cos e other party obviously doesn understand...sigh...of perhaps im e one not getting it...

not every bad feeling can be washed away by some TLC...n definitely there's no pt trying to create any sort of "mood" when there IS NO MOOD LEFT...note e important word here...LEFT...meaning, there initially WAS A HAPPY FEELING...but it's gone...

GROWL..im juz feeling sore n in a very bitchy mood...

hey peeps!!! photos for the VSA camp are uploaded!!! yay!!! interested parties can view e photos HERE

today was performance day at camp...n our last day too...i feel a bit yi yi bu she leaving these adorable kids after 3 days of together-ness...haiz...but i feel guilty being a little short tempered towards my charge today...so bad of me...cos basically she was doing everything VERY VERY slowly today...n i got kinda irritated cos i ended up doing everything for her juz so tt she can hand it in by e time lesson ends...but den i didnt really consider her disability...so yeah...feel a bit bad...

ooh...on e bright side...i got a new cutie pie!!! jonathan!!! whee...he's so cute lor!!! all those at camp can attest to tt...he even won e "cutest camper award" haha... 5 yr old kiddo...go see e pix if u havent...

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feel so xianz to be stuck at hm at 9:30pm on a saturday nite...lucky got sth to keep me busy...if not i'd feel worse...juz feel tt saturdays are wasted if i spend it at hm lor...cos it's like a free day n it's end of e wk...n sunday is another rest day too... so sats are for gg out till late...am i talking jibberish?! UGH...brain not functioning...think i better not crap liao...

my new love interest

haha....i've got a new love interest for 3 days...dis adorable little boy called lioneas...hehehe...he hugged me today!!! WAH!!! so happy...in fact...all of us female volunteers are so smitten w him... *grinz* he's juz so damn cute...n seh too!!!

well, it's day 2 of my 3 day VSA camp and i'm already pretty pooped out...let's see...all e kids in my grp...ok la...nobody particularly bad or anything...but lots of interesting stories to tell...little ryan bit weixiang 2 times already...once each day on e same hand... *ouch* poor guy...but im prety impressed by WX cos he's always so patient and he doesn lose his temper although e bite marks sure do hurt... n of cos there's my charge ying yin...she doesn talk much...but she's obedient...juz tt not as artistically inclined...there's amirah...and candy...who are both very pretty n sweet... candy is especially pretty...pity she has a hearing disability...nad of cos amanda...hahaha...who goes ard calling chris her boyfriend...muahahaha...she's got this HUGE "crush" on him...golly...she'll run away to a corner to cry juz so tt chris can come n find her...i think today C was scared liao so he ignored her e whole day... hrm who else? anand! naughty la...but he is still quite respectful cos he calls us gor gor n jie jie...

oh!!! i muz mention wenhao!!! dis kid is not fr my grp one...but has e same name as mr khor...haha...n they look smiliar in a certain sense too...small eyes...e hair...cheeky look at times...e physique...yeah...whee...muz take pix of him tml...

wad fun wud it be w/o some suanning here n there??? well, there's dis AC couple...we think they haf sth fishy gg on between them..yeah...but they juz refuse to admit lor.. but dia, chris, pat n i were teasing them all e way...hehehehe..perhaps after e 3 days, "something" will happen...tt's wad pat predicts...

meanwhile, im having a lot of fun at e camp...thanks to e great company i haf man...plus some special "unexpected additions" like nette being e art instructor?!?!?! dictator chew being e log head n des thou i hardly see him anyway...n made new frens wif e JC pple too...yeah...n of cos e kids... =)

dear's surprise

dear gave me a surprise yesterday...n he made me SO SO happy...well, as dear was narrating to me his trip n showing me e pic at e same time...he gave me my surprise... wrapped up somemore...i wasn expectin any more gifts cos he already gave me a skirt n a 2 piece top plus a keychain...n dis was a really sweet gesture...i was so super touched!!! cos it's sth i wanted for a long time...he bought me a fossil watch!!!! it's e silver kind n can change face...er...a bit hard to describe...but i LOVE IT!!! n i LOVE MY DEAR!!! *big hugs*

Yay!!!! i bought clothes from BUM today!!! GSS everywhere...geez...wish i had more money den i dun haf to think so hard whether or not i wanna buy anything...*SIGHS* oh but anyway, i bought a lime green top n a denim skirt!!! yippie!!! i think green is like e only colour missing fr my wardrobe n now i've got LIME GREEN somemore! WAH... a bit bright hor? but P says it's a nice colour on me!!! *GRINZ*

dear is back from his holiday!!!! *BIG SMILE* but den i've not seen him yet...tt lazy PIG muz still be sleeping...neva reply my sms...=( looks like i may not be able to meet him tonite...but i hope he remembers our date tml!!! *keeps fingers crossed* ya...ask him to buy perfume for me at the airport so mafan...he was describing these 2 fragrances (one smells like flowers but is very strong, e other smells like toilet fragrance but is not so strong) but HOW ON EARTH WUD I KNOW WAD IT SMELLS LIKE? haiz...think i ended up losing my temper somewhat...so mean of me hor? sheesh...but dunno wad he got in e end...hope it's sth good...

oh..went for the camp briefing today...haha...surprised to see D there wif the grp 16 pple...but chris n dia n p were there to pei wo...lucky man..if not my other grp members all J2 guys(expect e grp leader who's also J2) man...feel so old beside them all...but surely chris muz feel OLDER...muahahaha...(dodges a whack) oh ya...e biggest surprise was when i saw DICTATOR CHEW there too!!! OMG...i was like "bu hui ba....i'm so suay meh???" hrm...P was saying he's a bit gay-ish...in e tight-fitting tee n tight board shorts...was he tryin to show off his butt?!?!?! GEEZ...(which reminds me..e other day, HS n i were giggling abt it at Fish & Co. we were saying it looks damn gross!!! but den hor, i think it's e SAME pair of shorts...he got no clothes ar?!?!?! *scratch head*) anyway, camp starts on thurs...wonder wad e kid im attached to will be like...apparently she's got Sensory Dysfunction...hrm...

throat feels a bit raw today...think cos of yesterday's karaoke session wif qing, zhen, n min...wah..it's quite fun to go KTV with them wor...haha...full of nonsense also.. i think we were screaming "we will rock u"...den dancing to "she bangs"...and den sounding bitchy for "sexy, naughty, bitchy" and "it's in your eyes"...super seh after it...mom was complaining tt i come home late AGAIN...wah lao..not like i do it everyday rite? SHEESH...but of cos i managed to pacify her... *phew*

_________.:tag me:.