________________________.:my entries:.

-_<<:hOrRoR oF hORRORS!!!!!!!!:>>_-

i found a strand of white hair!!! oh NOOOO!!!! n it's like damn long la...as long as my other hair...which means it's been sneakily growing at e back of my head all this while!!!! ='o( *sobs*

yeah anyway, if u guys manage to survive the long post fr fang earlier...here's mine to add on to it...

my rg days...definitely the ones that shaped me to become who i am today...not tt im some great person or anything...but more like im proud of being who i am...i guess tt's wat matters....come to think of it, i didn wanna go to rg back in pri 6 after getting my PSLE results...i wanted to be with my frens...most of whom went to DHS or AHS...remember drawing lots from a bag to determine which sch to go to...yeah...i was THAT indecisive...haha...in e end, as fate wud haf it, i picked RG 5 times out of 5....destiny? maybe lor...

hrms...it was culture shock when i got to RG there...all the pple piak ang mo one...compared to pri sch where it was so chee-na...mentality of e pple also vastly different fr wat im used to....but i guess i grew used to it....back then, it was so cool to be able to celebrate so many sch events...wear all the funny stuff for racial hamony day n all...have so many more holidays than other pple!!! hur hur hur...plus all e perks of being located a couple of bus-stops fr orchard....ya....how can i forget my fainting spell during morning assembly cos of the hot, stuffy, horrid spot that my class was at....piangz...lucky wl was there to catch me when i juz zoned out n lost consciousness....vaguely remember being dragged to e back for fresh air...hahaha....and all the teachers were like fussing all over....mother hens all...

no particularly memorable teacher then but for adrian wee....my gawd...he was e worst lit teacher i had i think....he kinda looks a bit "se" and den i think he was balding a bit at e crown....but he liked coming over to my table and get latest soccer news fr xy and entertainment news fr pz....and den juz basically trying to chat them up...hur hur hur...of cos nobody was impressed....now he's married liao...dunno where he is now thou....last time i met him was in auzzie during our geog sch trip....

nothing very interesting abt lower sec....thou i faced many problems then, i learnt a lot too....life wouldn haf been complete but for pple like pz, cc, xy, n, e, jh, wl, a, ll.....yeah.....

upper sec was more memorable...thanks to e pple that made up 308/408....w/o them, my life in rg wouldn have been dis much fun...i think we were labelled "worst class" cos of all e pple who break rules, skip class, cos of our horrible results compared to e 9-sub pple....but in my opinion, we were most united class of all....we had e most fun, did e most stupid stuff....laughed e most....were e happiest lot...

oh yeah...those days of being PSL....being a mentor to e sec 1s...it was fun la...had those sessions of writing notes to them...n them writing back to me...it was fun...remember dis junior E...at one pt i got a bit freaked out by her cos she was appearing EVERYWHERE i went in sch...madness....muahaha...but it went away after we stopped writing....

it was during upper sec when i really got to know WT and CK....thou i was in e same class as they were since sec 1....and of cos how can i miss out jo...whom i knew in netball...haha...it was great fun playing WD wif u as WA....wah...u were damn good la....or maybe cos i was damn lousy...haha....of cos s, my dear ole confidante...remember e times we took e train hm tghr....confided in each other abt our problems....yup.. i was so grateful to have had u wif me then...o/w it wud b so boring to travel e long dist hm alone...

somehow after e geog trip everyone got closer....thou i wasn like tghr wif everyone else....cos i was wif my sec 2 frens....i felt e bond growing....i bet u guys didn know how much i wanted to join u all....esp e period when i was so blardy sick in auzzie...but yeah well, when we all came back, i started hanging out more during recess....our fav clique table right beside the waddle board....yakking till e cows come hm... haha....

i wun ever 4get dearest mrs tang....i think she n mrs tan were my absolute fav teachers....mrs tan was juz damn gd at teaching us chem....e only reason y i do well for chem is cos of her....her notes were like chu le ming de best-in-e-level....come on man..all e other chem teachers sucked....and mrs tang...for all the stories she used to read to us...still remember her fav book was chicken soup...they were always so inspirational and touching...thou we gave her a lot of trouble, she was always so patient...n so ORGANISED! yeah...i was damn impressed when she wud always write down wat she's gonna cover for e lesson and somehow manage to do so...n e one lesson when she made us write our names on a piece of paper and pass ard class...and everyone had to write something good abt e person....i still keep it...i think most of us still do....

gomez was a joke la...still remember e time when i had to try n stiffle my giggles when he couldn pronounce all e geog terms with v in them....wah lao...stuff like "Walley", "Wertical difference", "Wolcano", "riWer"....muahahahaha....he was a beta teacher in sec 3 thou...cos dunno wat happened 2 him in sec 4...think he went a bit senile(not tt im being mean or watever), but all i remember of my geog lessons were those of him making us writes essays n essays on rainfall...and den he only taught us population i think...no wonder y most of us did physical geog for e Os....

still remember e annual netball carnival...yeah...e team fought well thou we knew our chances were not high....e 2 class tees are still in my cupboard...i esp love the sec 3 one...wif all e cartoon drawings of us...thou my image sucked la...juz standing there like a goon-du...*shrugs*

our friday orchard outings...yeah...we take 4EVER to decided where to go...waste so much time tt it's already past 4 by e time we eat lunch....haha...and all e doing-nothing sessions at lido...window shopping at kino(s's fav....haha...) ya man...love those days....

to shan, ting, char, jo, june, fang, sharm...as well as gerrie, dan, rong:
im glad we're still meeting up now n then...whether or not we're still as close as b4....u guys are definitely e ones i can see myself growing old wif....still yakking and gossiping wif, gg shopping wif, gg for manicures wif, playing mahjong wif, having sleepovers wif....and even when we do grow up and grow old...when we all start getting married...having kids...grandkids....i hope e bond between us will still remain....i love u all..."

i realised i have not been blogging much this holiday wk....hrms...maybe cos ive been staring into e com screen for such long hrs doing damn proj work tt once i reach hm, got no mood to blog liao...anyway, i "koped" this entry fr fang's blog...i tot it was one of the best blogs fang's ever posted...and it's damn farnie...sure made my day reading it....and fr all e comments tt everyone's been posting...all those ex-rg pple...ya...it made their day too... =)

"i remember that first day in Sec Sch. I remember the stiff pinafore and the white blouse. I remember standing under that ugly piece of metal which they called the wisdom tree (or something like that). Most of all, I remember the jitters because I didn't know anyone in my new class. Browsing through the RG website is like taking a walk down memory lane. It brought me back to the time when I was still a silly Sec one nerd. Seven years, how time flies.

In an inexplicable way, I think I miss RGS; not so much of the school, but my secondary days. Everything was so simple. School was routine, but fun. Somehow, you get introduced to new people every now and then, and you know almost everyone in your level, at least. I recall walking in to school one morning in Sec three thinking to myself that I really enjoy my life. I would walk into school with one eye, or actually both eyes closed and make my way down to familiar amphitheatre steps to the canteen. There I would find my slacker class (Kudos to 408 2000!) either sleeping, or gossiping. It seems to me that my class likes nothing better than the two. When we changed our 'pre-assembly meeting place' to our classroom in Sec 4, I remember walking into a classroom without any light and doors closed because everyone there (I am not kidding) is sprawled on the tables sleeping. We continued sleeping even when the prefects came in to on the lights after the bell has rung for assembly. Yup, we had attitude and the prefects could do nothing about us. Seriously, where else in RGS can you find a class with almost 1/4 of the class meeting up regularly with the DM or the VP? Not to mention the fact that we made I don't know how many freaking teachers cry. Oh yea, I remember the occasional chinese tests. The whole class would be chanting stuff that didn't even sound vaguely like mandarin from the infamous ci yu shou ce. Well, I admit, most of the time I had 'tips' (meaning the exact questions) from my friends in other classes. Muahahaha. Now you guys know why I always score the highest in class for chinese tests.. hahahhahaha. Thanks to E and D. :0)

Morning assembly's crap in RG la, every morning we will stand in front of the stupid 'stage' thingy and listen to our dear principal Carmee Lim sing the national anthem and the school song. Yea, RG was so vibrant then, we had so much fun with all the arts festivals and what nots. I remember people turning up in TCHS uniform. How gross is that?? I miss her man. Guess what?? She's so freaking cool; she came to her farewell party in a red sports car, complete with balloons and all!! I was doing duty for Guards of Honor then, so horrible standing there in fall in position, but the wait was worth it. Cuz the whole school cheered when she entered as if they were at Ricky Martin's concert or something. She really won the hearts of the students man!! (nb: Pls compare her to the HC principal AWH who pronounced 'body' as 'birdie') Oh yea, back to assembly. Haha. I remember Gomez always standing at the back of our line asking us to shuddup because my whole class will be yakking away, pre, post and during morning assembly. And I hated raising the flag with my class behind me. Once, I malued myself completely because I totally forgot the national anthem and suddenly rushed the flag up the pole one minute before the song was up. My escort was apparently sleeping and my parthner got the shock of her life i think. Anyway the whole guides was scolded that Saturday and the juniors were sent for flag raising lessons, thanks to me. Haha.

More bitching time comes after morning assembly as my taitai classmates (and me) slowly stroll our way back to our classroom, and then to the toilet. (FYI, my classroom is in the middle of the floor and is therefore the furthest away from the toilets) By the time we come back, we are usually ten minutes late for the first lesson and I remember Mrs Tang always make us stand and apologise to our classmates who were waiting ( which is like less than 10 pple anyway). Oh another time, she threw more than half the class out of the classroom because we didn't complete our maths assignments. Well, it kind of shocked me cuz even the more hardworking of us didn't complete the work. Anyway all we did is to wait for some kind soul to actually finish doing the questions and start copying. The rest of the time, we did what we do best: talk. Hahaa. Don't be mistaken ok, Mrs Tang is a dear. She hugged us all after our O levels and she never fails to encourage us even though my class really sucks at maths. She used to tell her inspirational stories just before class and tok to us about our problems with other teachers (to put it in a more accurate manner, we were just bitching to her about our other teachers).

Yup, that's how class goes. Same goes to chinese and chem. Physics, Lit and English were all sleeping time. I remember during lit one time. YX was reading the part of Proctor in Crucible and she pronounced Pontius Pilate incorrectly and those awake burst out laughing. All the time I was sleeping beside her. I think Mrs Ting must have caught me sleeping. Oops. Geog was probably the only lesson we were awake cuz it's Gomez's class. No, we weren't awake because he's good or anything, because he will nag you no end if he catches you sleeping. And there's really no point in sleeping, because he's fun to watch. He likes to scratch his armpits and stick out his tongue and do all sorts of weird stuff. Oh, he made us write new year resolutions during Geog lessons and he spent about 4 lessons showing us the criteria to universities in UK. The rest of the year was spent coloring and doing weird stuff. I remember he made us draw the chart to show some crap and when we did it wrongly, he shouted in class, 'Wrong wrong girls!! Crush your papers and throw them away'. That by the way, has to be one of his favorite phrases. Anyway I heard that right after he said that, S turned to everyone around her and said, 'NO.. don't throw them away. Give them to me'. Muahahhaha. So funny!!! Man.. And I remember he made us write crap on Alor star and Kotar Seletar or something like that. We did that for like two months??? Basically, we didn't learn anything much in Sec four. He only taught us 3 chapeters out of 8??? Thank God most of us got A1 in the end. That's our dear form teacher Gomez for you.

The rest of my time (or our time) was spent in more gossiping and waiting for recess, which is a huge event. We will spend twenty years deciding what to eat before finally deciding to join the longest queue because most of our frens are in the queue anyway. Then we will sit around the round tables and yak as we eat. Occasionally I will sit outside the guides room with MH and co before proceeding to copy maths homework. Once in Sec 3, MH's excercise book had the words ' refer to Fangyin's' and mine had 'refer to Y's' and then C and J and back to MH.. you know how the story goes. Only one of us did the work. Usually each of us will only do one piece of homework and then exchange. Hahaha. We were stupid, but it was soo fun. And there was once more than half the class was caught in class during recess watching VCD which was rated mature. hahhaha. Of course we were caught, but TPP didn't realise that were watching.. aherm... ya.. don't worry, that show was just Cruel Intentions.. I guess my class decided to buck up in Sec 4 and we stopped going for recess I think on the pretext of stayin in class to study. This is what happens. The whole class will rush down to the canteen to 'da pao' food and bring upstairs to eat after the green light was given by our form teacher, and eventually the school. It started with finger food, and went to pita and eventually, we were packing things like cha kwey teow and mixed rice, complete with drinks. Haha, and of course our air con classroom stank and we had to open all the doors and windows. Anyway if you were wonderin most of us (in fact, all of us,) didn't study. We merely sat in a circle and talked, yea again. Looking back, we seemed to have endless things to bitch about. Tell me why.... Ya anyway soon the big bin outside was stuffed with all sorts of weird stuff and the head prefect and her assisstant had to come into my classroom to scold us. It was soo funny, cuz M immediately hid under the table with her sandwich cuz shes the other assistant... hahah. zhi1 fa3 fan4 fa3... after that day, we weren't allowed to bring any more food upstairs so it became a no show and everyone went back down to the canteen for recess.

It's always toilet time after recess I remember. We would go to the toilet and start messing our hair, plus gossip more there. In fact, even though our class is the furthest from the toilet, you can hardly find people in other classes there after recess. It's more like 408's toilet or something. Yea, the rest of the day is spent agonising about what to do or where to go after class. In the beginnin of Sec 3, I used to hang out at the lockers with either E or the 2 Ss. Trust me, we can just lean on the lockers and talk until 5 pm frm 1 smthg, and we see each other everyday!! seriously, where did we find so much things to talk about??? Ya, after we came back from OBS, I started hangin out with my classmates a tad more and that's when all our orchard sprees started. Wah lau, my clique takes one million years to think about where to lunch one I tell you. I think we never took less than one hour meeting up and deciding where to go before, even though all of us were in school. Dudes, I really think that's when we started spending soo much. Really. All the walking arounds and eating good food. I knew far east like the back of my hand then, esp during the period when me n R would skip J's tutions to go eat n rot there. Those were my slacker days man, not to mention all the arcades and movies after tests and during pples birthdays. 408 jumps at every chance to have fun la, but come to think of it, we are rather generous pple lo, half the class went on the stupid Aust trip, which is by far one of my most memorable experiences in RG. That was the first time we cooked for ourselves and some of us got really close. :)

End of a normal school day, and I haven't mentioned me always running over to pples classrooms borrowing textbooks. Once, I didnt bring my physics txt and I had to go nxt door to borrow one, only to realise that potato tan was having his lessons. I guess that class must have been ultimately boring, bcuz I tell you, A's eyes literally lit up when she saw me. Anyway she was sitting at the other end of the classroom, and half her class had to help me pass the txt book to me by sliding it under the floor. Hahaha. And we love to ransack each others' lockers. Nobody locks their lockers in RG, or rather most of my friends don't. So we often put handmade stuff like message in a bottle in each other's lockers or pass notes which we wrote during class. The note almost always starts like this: Physics is sooo boring, so i m juz riting 2 u for fun.... Talk about lockers, mine was forever in a mess. I remember coming back frm OBS and opening the locker, all the while preparing to catch the stuff which I expected to fall out and guess what??? My locker was in the neatest state I have seen it in ever... Haha.. cuz San felt tt my locker was too messy and so she packed it for me when she opened it to borrow my A maths txt one day. :) So sweet right tt gal??? i will never forget my shock that day. Anyway I still haven't figured out why I brought a bag to school then because my bag consists of absolutely nothing except my wallet, mobile and pencil case. Oh no, in Sec four, I didn't even have a pencil case. I only brought one pen, one pencil, one ruler and one eraser to school. Amazing right?

Okay, I am in the mood to rite. It's getting too long.. but I don't care. In my four years in RG, I never got sent to detention once, though I definitely broke all sorts of rules, the most serious being skipping class to go library and sleep, coming to school late wo reason, sneaking outt sch etc.. but.. there's always a but right.. I got sent to RTC once. it's technically Responsible thinking classroom where you go there and tok to the discipline mistress and reflect on your mistake. Serioulsy that was the only dumb thing they implemented in RG, other than the ridiculous looking magic caravan. I got sent there once because I didn't have a tie with me during assembly. U had to book me ok, and that was the first day the stupid system was implemented. The reason why I din have my tie??? I stupidly lent it to sum undeserving junior who had assembly before that. Idiot. The second time I was caught eating sweet by sum irritating Prefect- in-training. Cmon, who doesnt eat sweets in school??? Anyway I had to wait like 45 min before it was my turn to tok to the DM. the whole conversation lasted less than 2 minutes and it just went:

DM: what did you do?
me: I ate sweets outside e canteen
DM: are u aware of tt rule?? (duh, i m sec 4)
me: yes
DM: why did you do it then?
me: I was tired and needed something to keep me awake
DM: so how do you think you can prevent urself making the same mistake again?
me: eat the sweets in the canteen??
DM: you can go
me: .....

Conclusion: stupid RTC.

Oh yea on rules. W was such a pal. Once we were studyin in the library, and my mobile had to ring. Don't ask me why it's not on silent.. I don't know. Anyway ya.. all the sec 3 prefects turned at look at me all waiting to book me when W was just sitting in front o me. I stared at W and she gave me this 'what the hell r u doing' face. anyway she handed me a booking slip which writes 'pretend only, off your hp idiot'. hahahah. Cool right?? All the prefects in my batch are majorly corrupted.. I mean seriously.

The weirdest teacher ever taught me: Esther C. My sec 2 form. Sorry Gomez. you only come second. Anyway EC is by far the most horrible teacher. During one assembly in sec 2, she booked S frm 209 and S frm my class just because S came to sit with my class during assembly. What's her prob?? I mean seriously.. in the end both of dem had to skip recess for one week to help EC wipe tables. Crazy woman. I was lucky though, cuz I think that was the only assembly in the whole o Sec 2 when E din come to my class to sit w me cuz she had a project due after that. Oh.. remember smthg Lei commented. Even the worst performance in RG assemblies is better than most performances put up in HC. To speak the truth, I agree. Only HC lion dance, chinese dance, CO and HH are worth watchin. The rest sucks.

Hmm.. enuff of my reminiscing.. Guess RGs pretty boring. we lead very routine lives and we seldom prank on our teachers like a lot of pple in other schools do. I guess that's bcuz we really have v nice and dedicated teachers. At least the best teachers taught my class. But I had a lot of fun there. I really enjoyed the arts fest, RGS nights, racial harmony days where we could wear anything to school. Thinking back on my RG days suddenly made me realise how easy it is to be happy. I guess I must really have been blessed by the hand o God, to be able to have such wonderful four years, and the ability to remember all these. Last but not least, I really do cherish all the friendships forged in my RG days. Even though I treat them like shit.. hahahha.. but they are ultimately the people who truly make me happy. AWWWW.. really miss them now.. hahahah. Must really find some time to have more get-togethers the next time I come back so can progress in our next phase of tai tai training. So far, we are still stuck at the yakking, shopping, and drinking coffee stage.. gg to go to the manicure and pedicure stage.. and sooon we will be at the mahjong stage.. muahahhaah. Don't worry, we have it all planned from goodness knows when. :0) "

i went fishing yest....for the first time!!! it's thanks to zz for taking me along wif his camp-pple... =)

it was a whole 9 hrs out at sea...bobbing up n down as the waves rock e little boat...and trying to catch some fish...haha...certainly an experience man...
(considering i was still getting e rocking feeling after reaching hm tt nite)

most of my 9hrs were spent sitting there doing nothing, hoping for a bite...
i think the fish r either getting smarter or we humans r getting dumber...somehow they know how to eat the bait w/o getting caught...hrms...lost many prawns(what we used as bait) liddat...and wat do we intelligent homosapiens do? hook on another bait n wait somemore...muahahahaha...

oh yeah...i think after overcoming the icky-ness of catching a live prawn n hooking it to the line, i became quite pro at it...hehehe...zz...i think i more pro than u ley!!!! hehehehe...but i still need to depend on others to help me tie the weight and the hook to e line...but at least omar n e mr eng guy was nice enuff to help me out so many times....

hrms...caught a glimpse of the aero show while fishing mid-day...nice display of jets, planes n all...wah... wonder how they go round n round n dun feel giddy inside hor?

ahem...back to my fishing....
how do u know when u've caught a fish???
i felt a tug so i tug back...den i let e line out a bit...felt another tug...so i tugged harder...den after e third tug i juz reeled e line in...n woo-hoo!!! there u have it...my catch!!! it was one of the better fish caught tt day and i got an ang pao for it, since it was one of e 1st 5 catches...hur hur hur...according to mr eng, i got a snapper!!! hehe...



i caught a fish!!!! =)

yeah...after my lucky catch i didn manage to get any more fish...haiz...i lost one juz as i was reeling in e line...so close man...e others fishing ard me also saw e fish's head b4 it managed to struggle n escape into e water...WASTED! but on e whole, i think fishing is damn tiring ley...donch know y also...i mean, it's juz sitting there doing nothing right...doing nothing is tiring....hehehe...wat logic?!?!! maddness!!



oh, here's a beautiful pic of the evening sun....yupz, tt marks e end of my fishing expedition...
went hm smelly, yucky, n slightly burnt...hope e skin dun peel off ley...i wan a tan!!!!!
thank u zz...for the "fishy" experience! =D

I am not happy with the way things are going...

perhaps bh was right...there's no pt planning...cos things usually dun go according to plan...
disappointment n resentment is eating into me... =(

Let's see...wat's making me so irritated...

1) holiday plans...
- no proper itinerary...i dunno where to go as yet...
- cannot find pple 2 go wif me...or rather...no volunteers so far beside jw...
- mom hasn given e green light...

2) i cant spend may 25 wif someone (mayb i can spend it wif pat but i dun think pat wans me)

3) i haf a freaking concert performance which
- coincides wif e period im thinking of gg on a holiday
- e very person i wan to have supporting me will not attend
- i have not started practicing for

4) im supposed 2 arrange to work during my hols...haf not been actively looking for a job so HOW THE HELL am i to finance my holiday!!??!?!?

5) summer term
- not sure if the course i wan wud b available...BUT on the bright side, i've found chinz n mayb des to take it wif me!!! =)

6) i've got A LOT of work for dis hols n im SO DEAD!

**********

2 things tt happened today 2 keep me fr screaming...

1) i went to e beach wif bh!!! =) well, didn really watch e sunset(cos it was pretty cloudy n i was keeping my eyes closed...hur hur hur...) but i tot it was nice juz to spend time liddat...one thing thou...e reflection of e setting sun on e waves made it really beautiful...

2) at the risk of sounding like a bimbo.........
i got my manicure!!!! muahahahaha...finally..at last...but hrm...e colour looks a bit weird ley...oh well, i like my pretty nails...

so yeah....there u haf it...the good n e bad aspects of my day....

in FA claz now...damn xianz...learning abt tax...
*yawnz*
half asleep rite now cos wake up so damn early today...*yawn again*
bin is typing furiously on her labbie next 2 mine...des is scrippling profusely...so scary...acct pple r liddat man...hur hur...tt's y their results all so shen...unlike mine...bah!
still gotta dong for FA meeting later...i've not done my part...plannin 2 do it dis wk la...juz hope they dun kill me...haha....

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
but there is something left in my head

I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But Im not the girl your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

-MLTR-

i hate myself....

for hurting those who love me....

e day went ok...considering i had insomnia last nite...blardy he**...couldn slp till like 6am...*growlz*....
ANYWAY....today i went 2 make a new pair of specs...n experienced walking ard in bugis almost blind for like 45mins...hrms...actually e world looks different...mayb sometimes things r beta blurred....

went 2 coffee club after...my first time tryin out e solid food there....i think e garlic prawn pasta is really gd...*yummy* wonderful food....nice ambience....gd company...yupz...i juz love hangin out liddat...n spend quality time tghr....we hardly do tt often....wish we had stayed out later....but den fatigue took over....at least i can say tt i enjoyed e day on da whole...

**********

sometimes i wonder...when will i ever get my freedom to travel? i hear of frens travelling wif thier frens...whether it's juz a wkend getaway or a long vacation overseas...n i juz get so envious of tt ability to do wat u wan...haf fun...go on holiday wif pple ur age...

esp after listening to bh talk abt gg to alaska, or e US, and to pp talk abt her hol in hk, last time san gg travelling in US...PZ in japan...it made me wanna go too...perhaps organise some outing wif some mutual frens n juz go....tot of gg melb 2 visit fang during e hols...n bh offered 2 go wif me...*sigh*

i know part of me wans to go cos bh wans 2 go n will go...n i wan 2 b e one travelling wif bh n not juz some other person, thou i prob cant n wun do anything if bh managed 2 get some other pple 2 go travel tghr...but another part juz simply wans 2 explore e world wif my frens...not tt travelling wif family is bad...but sometimes u juz wanna do stuff wif pple of e same wavelength...

i tried to ask my mom abt it...afterall, i feel like im old enuff n can b responsible 4 myself...hey...im not even asking 4 sponsorship here...i'll do all my own planning...i'll pay my own trip....but all she did was b non-commital saying "i'll think abt it..." it's ALWAYS liddat...to her i'm juz an immature kid who will neva b able 2 grow old enuff 2 go out into e world on my own....

ended up in tears anywayz...i couldn help it...like all my life ive been so "law-abiding"...hardly ever broke e rulez...man i still haf a curfew lor....its juz so difficult...dad agrees tt she's juz being very conservative n all...he even promised 2 help me persuade her some(thou i wonder if it even makes a diff)....

gonna try again another day...mei tot me one...use soft tactic....ha! but i dunno la...chances r slim...i dun wanna give myself hope n let it b taken away fr me juz liddat...disappointment wud b greater....

yay...i added a new bkgd song... *smilez*
well, it's a damn old song...but one of my old favs...comments anyone???

was in a damn grumpy mood almost all day...spillover fr e previous nite's frustration...plus pms blues...plus boredom fr stayin at hm all day...sighs...even watching along came polly didn help lift my spirits much...of cos i was further irritated by e constant smses sent n received by e person sitting beside me thruout e movie...mayb it's damn urgent...i duno...but still...haiz...

decided to divert all my energies into work...tried to clear e piling crap on my "to-do list"...i realised im quite dead man...so many proj deadlines...individual assignments...n CT is gonna start soon...oh nooo...but ok...in e end somehow i feel more calm after work...thanks goodness it has tt effect on my bad temper...

i need my TLC...i feel so neglected...so ignored...so left alone...i dun like tt feeling... *sulk*

im suffering fr PMS...help!

would u fight to talk 2 someone...even if it's juz on e phone...for a while?
if tt person mattered enuff...i would...
apparently i dont matter enuff...

jus cos u can meet anytime u wan to...
does time spent tghr lose its worth?
does it become any less important?

why do i always feel like it's a one-sided affair?
tt i put in more...am willing to do more....give up more...
but u're not willing to do e same for me?

why is it tt action to remedy e situation is taken only after e damage is done?
only after i feel shattered by ur insensitivity...
only after im made 2 feel tt im not important...at least not anymore...

is it always like that?
when u love someone more than tt person loves u?
tt defeated feeling knowing tt u cant ever change e status quo....
tt e other party's feelings 4 u can neva b as strong as urs 4 him?

wat is one supposed 2 feel in such a situation?
how does one love knowing tt one is not loved e same way in return?
does one still give one's all?

mayb it's not love...
for love is patient...love is kind...love is giving...love is not possession....
but is love hurt, pain, anguish too?

yeah..im in a gd mood today...rather...yesterday... *smilez*
went to da beach today...supposed 2 devote my time to studying...but den stupid fang was there making so much noise n tryin to distract me...*growlz* nvm...at least i did half of wat i intended to do...not so bad...sighs man...i need to find myself a study kaki...

anywayz...after tt we went play pool again...haha...wonder y we keep doing tt these days? anyway...so pek chek...i lost my 6 ball lead juz cos e freaking black ball DUN LIKE ME...damn...no matter how i hit it, it juz REFUSE to go in lor...madness...in e end wasted like 1/2 hr on e stupid game...UGH..after tt game 2 xian 2 play liao...

nvm..i think dinner cheered me up somewhat...hur hur hur...we ate yummy sting ray...satay...n duck rice...haha...i think we are like damn greedy lor...order so much...made me feel so full we went 4 a walk all e way 2 e jetty...

hrms...did anyone mention how soothing it is 2 hear e waves rushing up to e shore...feel e breeze at ur face...smell e salty sea...n look at e wonderfully lit nite sky....haiz...it's a romantic atmosphere la...pity pity...i dun get 2 go there often enuff...someone dun like to go beach ma...haha....
anywayz, i made a resolution...i wanna go there to watch sunrise on my bday dis yr...anyone wanna volunteer to go wif me????? hrm...maybe can rent chalet too... =)

y is it tt humans are never satisfied? wat is enuff?
esp when u know there's some1 out there who's better...who did more...will do more...
i wan to b contented wif wat i haf...is tt so difficult to ask for? *sighs*

**********

e bad dreams r back 2 haunt me...had another round of them last nite...couldn sleep well...
it's been some time since i've had these dreams...e past 1-2 wks haf been peaceful...y wun it stay tt way? wat is it tt's bothering me? y cant i let go?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!

today was great! yupperz...it's gd not 2 haf any expectations...cos somehow...u'll always feel happier wif wat u get dis way...sounds a bit ah-Q? haha...well, e pic above was a v-day gift fr my sweetie... =) hehe...it was a pleasant surprise to receive e bouquet of roses...n chocolates too...thou rite now will juz hafta keep e chocs cos my throat is still not well...hrmz...maybe....juz a bite at one wun hurt... *wink*

spent e day out...had a good meal at NYDC(hrmz...i like e mudpies...wish i cud haf eaten more but my flu didnt allow it...) afterwhich we went to catch a movie...perhaps cos dis yr's v-day falls on a sat...saw SO MANY couples walking ard...some wif flowers...teddy bears...many in couple outfits(ugh!)...oh...all so lovey-dovey... *love is in e air playing in e bkgrd*

haha...well, alvin is rite...e most romantic thing abt v-day is not so much e gimmicks...but more like spending QUALITY time wif e one u love... =) (thou i'm definitely not complaining abt receiving flowers n wat nots...muahahahaha...)

boo-hoo-hoo...i didnt get to do manicure today!!! all cos we reached e place a bit late...den e girl at e counter said sorry but e next customer already arrived n they r fully booked at e moment...sob sob...there goes my pretty nails for v-day...UGH...well, after tt bit of disappointment, went to play pool to make myself feel beta...muahaha...won 3-2...*yippie*

oh yeah...watched torque dis evening...wah...damn lame show la...lagi no plot compared to 2 fast 2 furious...but ok la...action wise...also not tt fantastic...hrm...advice to all those who r even considering watching e show...DON'T...unless u are a bike fanatic or really haf nothing beta 2 do...man...e lead is not even THAT cute...

hrms...v-day is tml...no plans as yet...dunno if my dear got plan anything or not...most prob not...haha...wat to do? i chose a practical, un-romantic guy...ok la...as long as he teng wo...hehehe... =) hmm...how did i spend v-day last time ar...oh ya...frenship day...i think last time more headache...need 2 get prezzie for so many pple...haha...but tt's e fun part too la...u receive many many prezzies 2...now only need 2 get 4 one person...n remember in jc they used 2 play frenship dance...whereby all e guys in my class wud siam...muahahaha...those were e days man...

flu is getting better...nose still blocked thou...thanks to all for ur care n concern... =)

went 2 see prof chay today...abt my sucky last term grades...sigh...dis sux...now wif knowledge tt i was so close 2 a beta grade doesn help much...the extra 0.8 for my gpa will juz haf 2 b foregone...i CUD HAF APPEALED e last time...but i didnt..so now also too late...nvm...i had a pretty good talk wif him all e same...

flu is gettin beta...i dun feel so weak today...besides e occasional cough...i used less than 1 pkt of tissue... muahaha...medicine is def working...which reminds me...gotta take e nite dose....

*runs off*

back!!! ya...tonite was last episode of my fav show...was informed by my fren tt it's wang fu cheng long not lian fu cheng long...aiyah...cannot blame me rite? chee-na so lousy one....heh...anyway... I HATE E ENDING!!! it really sux lor...n ah-wang is not cute anymore once he becomes "smart"...cant stand e producers...wah...make e whole show so nice...den flop at e ending...i think tt's like so typical of HK shows...grrr...(which reminds me of how disappointed i was wif healing hands 1) y cant he choose one girl instead of all 3 pple suffer??? damn dumb la...real life where got liddat? =( guys are so you rou gua duan...haiz...doesn do anybody any bit of good...

ya anyway...feel damn irritated AGAIN...

went 2 see e doc today...got a day's MC...but no use...i dun haf class today anyway...

sigh...i think my flu got worse...my own fault lor...went out 2 meet my couz 2 buy sth important...spent 3 hrs walking n looking...numerous smses n mmses...juz 2 get confirmation...b4 finally deciding to buy e thing...

den after tt supposed 2 gif my couz a ride 2 NYP but i lost my freaking way...not to mention, cy is really BAD at reading road maps...muahaha...if i werent feeling sick i cud haf laughed...but yeah...i guess my face wasn a pretty sight...AND THEN i juz had to enter CBD n waste money... *sobs* after countless turns n lots of lost petrol, i finally decided 2 send cy hm instead...

wasted 4 hrs today...haiz...hope it's worth it in e end....well IT HAD BETTER BE WORTH IT!

special thanks 2 cy for taking time off juz 2 help me out...all e best 4 ur special surprise 4 u-know-who dis friday nite! =)

okie...gotta go grab some food...i'm starving n i need 2 take my medication....

i dun believe dis...im falling sick all over again....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bl**dy hell...been sneezing non-stop since after ABT class today...crap man...bad mood rite now...trying 2 stuff my runny nose wif tissue while blogging...UGH...dunno if it's e dusty air or juz me...boo-hoo...i need TLC now... *sniffle*

yeah well...didnt help when i cried juz now while watching lian fu cheng long...haiz...think it made e nose worse off...anyway, dis is e episode whereby caifeng decided to leave ah-wang even thou they love each other deeply...cos she felt tt he wud ultimately go back 2 e goldfish girl (yeah..i DUN LIKE HER) when ah-wang regains his memory...e touching part was when ah-wang was so upset cos she said she was leaving him cos he's too stupid....but den he still did all e sweet things to move her...like make lao po bing 4 her juz so tt she wud smile...den make grasshoppers....n he wud go 2 e tea-hse juz 2 look at her...n how he still loved her so so much even thou she was being v cruel 2 him juz 2 make him lose hope....sigh so sweet lor...i hope they end up tghr in e end...dad was saying e producers wud juz make e goldfish girl die so tt they end up tghr....hrm...see if he's right...last episode on thurs!!!! =(

oh ya...felt so stupid during FA class tghr...haiz...got back result of my quiz...i got 17 2/3 outta 20...a pretty decent score...i wud haf been very happy if not 4 e fact tt 20 pple in my class had a full score... *big sigh* juz goes 2 show tt im not gd enuff.........

i'm half blind....UGH....wore only once side of my contacts today...cos e other eye was badly swollen last nite...couldn even open it....dunno wat kind of crappy infection tt was....so irritating....n i think my "half-lens" thingy is causing me a headache.... =( grumpy grumpy.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TING!!

we celebrated ting's bday yest...juz a few hrs ago in fact...haha...hmm...very long never meet up wif e gang so it's real nice 2 see em again thou it was only like 5 of us...anyway...haha...it's e usual "crap" fr everyone..i dun think we'd eva grow up man...acting like 4 yr old kids at our age! muahahaha...but i guess tt makes it all fun rite? to b able 2 feel carefree n all...to b away fr life's daily stress...yeah....a big hug to all...

oh ya...think today was a gd pool day...hehe...n to my lao po:we make a good pair!! =)

hrm...was walking in fr e bus-stop when i looked up n saw e nite sky...many little white cloud puffs surrounding e bright round moon...thou there weren any stars in sight...i felt tt it looked really special...

yesterday was a beautiful day....n it was so only because of you.... =)

promises r meant to be kept...or at least tt's how i feel abt promises...

why do u always have to break ur word?
to say one thing n dismiss it e next moment...
as thou it didn mean anything...
over n over again...

i really dunno how many more disappointments i can take...
a person can only tolerate dis much...

i dun wanna see u....cos i dun wanna argue...
enuff damage has been done...

**********

yay! my torturous wk of tests is over!!! =) FA was good...finally something i can feel confident abt for now...haha...meanwhile still struggle wif biz law n bgs...hmm...pp got econs tml..wish her luck...ok ok....wkend is near...shall not talk abt work... *smilez*

hmm...i think i drove pretty recklessly today...on my way 2 sch n back....cos i was late for e test ma...n den while i was coming hm cos i was gonna miss my 8pm show...hmm...last episode is next thurs...channel U has dis new hsuan xuan show...maybe can catch tt instead...but why does it hafta b on e 9pm slot??? grr...

just watched yet another episode of american idol...*yawns* it gets a bit boring after a while...but den wat to do? i got no life..haha...decided to give myself e nite off after today's gruelling QUIZES...ya...anyway, my fav show on tv now is dis show called "lian fu cheng long"....at least i think tt's e title...muahaha..my chee-na sux la...it abt dis dim-witted guy(a-wang) acted by roger kwok to whom hsuan xuan's character is forced 2 marry...den how she grew to love him...n all e things tt he does 2 please her...man...a-wang is so cute n so DAMN SWEET(cant really put it in words...u hafta watch e show to know wat i mean)...if only all e guys in e world r HALF as lovable as a-wang's character...*sigh* wat does dis tell us? tt a dumb-witted guy is FAR more romantic n faithful 2 his wife than a NORMAL guy can b....MUAHAHAHAHA....ok...i think i'm gonna get killed by any guy who reads dis... =P

anyway...y is it tt guys r JUST SO DENSE? well, i'm not a man-hater... juz feel tt sometimes we females r juz so misunderstood and tt guys just DON'T GET IT...shant bother to explain...can go on till e cows come home if i wanted to...GRR....

it was alicia's bday today...wah...tt girl 21 oredi...jo bought her a swatch watch which we all shared...it's so NICE...erm...how 2 describe...it's e metal kind tt can look pretty "lady-like" when worn wif e right clothes...i wan a watch like tt too...been wanting one since last birthday...i realised those i haf usually look too casual or kiddy to b worn on more formal occasions...i guess i juz haf not found e right watch for me... =(

oh ya...was juz reminded tt today is yuan xiao...official end of e chinese new yr celebrations...n supposed chinese valentine's day...n i've got nobody to spend it wif...my "valentine" also boh hiu me...=( but den i neva really celebrate yuan xiao thou...wish i had steamboat wif my family...instead it was juz a simple meal round e table...oh well, pt is to spend time wif loved ones rite? realised tt we've not really eaten as a family for a long time...most of e time mei in in front of e tv...n we eat dinner as n when we're hungry...esp during wkdays when we all come hm at diff times....so i guess today's e occasion for a family dinner... =)

labbie is running outta batt...guess today's entry shall end here...gd nite world... *sleepz*

man...realised i've not been blogging for a while...hmm...y ar? dunno leh...nothing very interesting happening in my life wor...is no news gd news???

spent e whole damn day sitting at subway trying to cram all e stupid bgs stuff into my now-brain-dead head...wah liao...super boring n xian lor...i'm amazed at my perseverance...i actually cud sit there for 6-plus hrs straight leh...to study 4 sth SOOO boh-liao somemore...woo-hoo...didn know i still had it in me man...still remember those gd ole j2 days when i'd b cramming every fri nite when there's a common test on sat morn...plus for prelims and finally the As...wah...kinda miss those days man....plus i had shan for my study buddy when it comes to everything except econs...die man...i need to find more study-kaki...who can tahan me n whom i can tahan to study wif me...cant always depend on e same pple...i think gg out gives me more motivation than stayin hm n mugging alone...to all of u reading dis...anybody wanna study wif me on wkdays???? (PS: if u r e "can-only-study-at-hm type or e "i-need-absolute-silence-2-study type...dun bother...hehe..)

yeah anywayz...rite now i'm so DYING in biz law...brain gonna explode n i haf no idea where to start...there's like so damn much 2 cram...n i haf e feeling i'll fall asleep half-way...so shit-ty... =(

oh yeah...congrats to dia dia n my buddy who got their driving licences liao...and gd luck to my dearest twin who's gonna take her exam soon....jiayou twin!!!! =)

haiz...my poor pig is down wif flu...doc still give 3 days MC....muz b in a bad condition...sighs...i feel bad for not being able 2 haf enuff time 4 u these few days...cannot take care of u when u're sick...cant give u e reassuring hug tt u'll b fine...n u know i dunno how 2 cook nice porridge n stuff...so can only mo mo pray tt u'll get well soon...

i am so FREAKING pissed off rite now...

it's a terrible insult to me....to be treated like an invisible speck of dirt...left to rot my ass away esp after having extended a favour to you...at ur request...

when i give someone my time...i expect tt person to extend e same courtesy to me...to give me his/her time and attention in return...bloody sucker... >_< as if i got nothing better to do than watch u stare into e tv screen? watching, of all things, an absolutely LAME show...come on lor...i have my own commitments...

true...u never asked me to spend time wif u....i was a willing party....but i have feelings too....i'm not a decorative item on ur wall...to b used n chucked aside....

if anyone thinks i can shop, they shd see my mom!!! wah..went shopping wif her today...man..she is like 100X more zai than me man...hahaha...but ok...my "shou huo" not bad...ended up wif 3 new pairs of jeans(they r like how cheap la...metro got e 50% + 20% discount thingy gg on now...) n a small bag...i LOVE my new bag...started using it straight after i bought it man!!! muahahaha...

hmm...after tt went to VT to watch a dance perf...wanted 2 buy flowers but den couldn find a flower shop... oh well...nvm la hor...end up save my $ also...hehe...dis wk spent a lot leh...got e bash, den got e performance....AND kena exploited by SOMEBODY somemore...juz cos i got more ang pao $...haha...to tt SOMEBODY...if u eva read dis...i'm juz kidding la...i dun mind spending $ on u... =)

anywayz, e dance thingy was not too bad...some nice moves...n u shd hear e audience's cat calls when the girls danced to "diamonds are a girl's best fren" cabaret style...haha...oh well...guys will b guys...e colours theme was quite a cool idea too...hehe...

oh yeah...so "suay" bumped into yz AGAIN...cant believe can actually meet him under such circumstances...dis time he never salute me...heng ar...but den quite surprised he actually came over fr his seat juz to suan me...so IRRITATING!!!!

feeling damn bored now leh...nothing to do...n i dun feel like sleeping as yet...how!?!?

_________.:tag me:.