Have You Seen This Woman?

Weirdo.

Juicey

Oh dear.

Unstable

Ladies who like to recline with an equine.

Mona Lisa's Revenge

She still has no eyebrows. It makes her difficult to shock.

Ha Ha Bonk

"Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of reason with unreason."
Jack Kroll

Bitches Bite

"Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it's more likely to be female."
Desmond Morris

It's Good To Be A Lunatic

"The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots."
Rebecca West

Strong Silent Types

"Women like silent men. They think they are listening."
Marcel Archard

Insight In Sight

"Love is blind and marriage is an institution for the blind."
Lewis Grizzard

Tony's Matrimony

"I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."
Tony Curtis

Randy Warhol

"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax deductible."
Andy Warhol

Arch Bishop

"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
Jim Bishop

Socks In The City

"I can't go on any more bad dates. I would rather be home alone than out with some guy who sells socks on the internet."
Cynthia Nixon

Merry Jerry

"Let's face it: a date is a job-interview that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it."
Jerry Seinfeld

Rita Bleater

"Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
Rita Rudner

Garry's Quarry

"I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over."
Garry Shandling

Groening's Groaning

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come out."
Matt Groening

Howe Now

"Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present."
E. W. Howe

Barryflaw

"Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock."
John Barrymore

For Shaw

"Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else."
George Bernard Shaw