Happy Birthday to me!

 
I am turning 36 in a couple of hours. I feel like I just turned 21 not too long ago. And then I look at my kids and down at the loose skin on my belly, who am I kidding?

A couple of days ago, my friend offered to pluck the white hair from my youthful head of hair while we were at the beach. No, we were not playing frisbee, swimming in the lake, or sunbathing in our bikinis at a beach. We were sitting on our beach chairs, plucking each other's white hair. A whole bunch of it. It scared the shit out of me when she was done plucking.

I visited the chiropractor for the first time in my life a couple of months back to fix my back which gave way after a coughing fit. The joys of growing old.

I used to get kind comments on how young I look. Now, there is no kidding anyone. The Hello Kitty T-shirt is not going to help. I now spend considerable time instagramming photos to delude myself.

At this ripe age of 36, I am grateful to have fabulous friends who listen to my rants about parenting, about cooking the same chicken dish for the third time this week, about the mountain loads of laundry that is taking over our rooms, and about the horrors of sagging skin.

We share our kids' tantrums, our own melt-downs and even what we are eating for lunch, dinner and at midnight. Instantaneously through Whatsapp. We may be doomed how technology has infiltrated our lives, but I think this is the best app ever. Some days, my most uplifting moment is when I receive a Whatsapp message with a photo of my friend's pedicure.

My sister used to say I whine when I was little. At 36, I still do. Fortunately (for him, not for me), my husband has developed an acute sense of selective hearing. I whine about how dirty my car is, about having no time to fix my mushroom-head of hair, about having to stand in the rain at soccer and swimming practices with the boys. Ironic as it sounds, despite seeming to live in a constant disarray of endless chores, and having no recollection of how it feels to sleep in, being a parent is undoubtedly the best thing that has happened to me.

So, back to turning 36.

I am going to stop eating the bits and pieces off the chopping board after serving my kids a bowlful of wholesome goodness.

I am going to stop snacking at night when the house is quiet and I feel I deserve a big bowl of ice-cream.

It's time to peel those baby animals wall decal off the walls in the boys' room because they no longer find it cute. It's all about being cool and having a battle with those strange-looking Pokemon species.

It's also time to redirect my time and energy back to business as the opportune time has arrived with both the boys in full-time school in two months' time.

It also means, in two months' time, I would have more time to get my butt to the gym and start on a serious exercise routine. Yea right!!

Happy Birthday to me. It's a wet and cold summer day. I am going to crawl back under my sheets. The boys can have bread for their lunch. 

Remembering my Dad

This is my Mom and Dad.

This is how I want to remember them both. Beautiful and happy.

But often, my happy memories of my childhood are clouded over by heartbreaking memories of them suffering and battling their illnesses.

Of my Mom lying in the hospital bed, shrunk to half her size, her arms bruised from all the needles poked into her arms. And of my Dad in a hospital gown, walking slowly down the hospital hall pushing a bag of fluid and smiling at me.

It is now 21 years since my Mom left us and 19 years since my Dad joined his love of his life in Heaven. I went through years of denial, anger, rebellion, and finally anguish.

When sadness took over, I missed them dearly.

My Dad was an amazing husband and father to us. He spent many years looking after our sick Mom, took over the house chores and cooking when my Mom was in the hospital and never failed to smile and make us laugh.

I can only imagine how tremendous the stress and heartache must be for him see my Mom suffering and slowing losing her ability to do almost anything. Despite all this, my Dad still found time to volunteer his time in Church.

There are some things I never forgot of my childhood and one of them was how my Dad used to bring me to the Little Sisters of the Poor to visit the old folks, to help feed them, and to do volunteer work at the Seniors' home.

I recently found some letters and postcards written by my Dad. He would always write to us when he used to travel for work. One letter made me choke up with tears. It was a letter written by my Dad on the hospital letterhead. An appeal letter addressed to the Principal of my then Secondary school. The year that he died was also the year both my sister and I were to take our final leaving examinations for entry into College and University.

As he was battling his illness, he was worried about us. That's a parent's love. An undying love. As I read the letter, each and every word pouring out from his heart, my tears overwhelmed me and I cried out loud. It has been a while.

I love you, Daddy.

Thank you for being such a great person, someone I am so proud of and someone I so admire.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Linus!

Dear Linus,
Thank you for being the sweet, sensitive and loving little guy in our lives.
You have grown to be more independent in the past year, took an interest in drawing, developed your speaking abilities and triumped in being potty-trained.
You will start a new chapter in your life as you begin Pre-school this year and we look forward to sharing in your new adventures and discoveries!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

A random conversation with Lucas

Lucas: Where is your Mommy?
Me: She is in Heaven with God.
Lucas: What is she doing with God?
Me: Maybe she is having tea.
Lucas: You cannot see her?
Me: No. Everyone dies. I was very sad when she died. Because I cannot see her anymore.
Lucas: She didn't have food?
Me: No. She was sick. Very sick.
Lucas: Can I have more green bean soup?

The demise of Lucas' beloved "Ta-Ta".

Born: April 2007
Departed: March 2011

Dear Ta-Ta,

You have lived a colorful life. Travelled to many countries and cities with me. On a ship, an airplane, train rides and countless rides in the car. You have enjoyed a life full of great experiences, mostly in my arms.

You have been a wonderful mate, sleeping partner, comforting presence and great company to enjoy my fingers with.

I will miss pulling your ears and poking my fingers into your torn head. I will miss the excitement of seeing you at bed-time. I will miss your wonderful smell made more appealing by my own salivation on your blue fur.

You will be dearly missed. But it's time I say good-bye to you.

I am a big boy now and I need to stop sucking my fingers. My Mommy told me there is a slug inside your head and if I keep sucking my fingers, the slug will come out from your head and into my mouth.

Bye bye, Ta-Ta. I will always love you.

Yours truly,
Lucas Fong
(an imagined speech by my Mommy dearest)

Lucas' first encounter with Ta-Ta.He begun to realise his fingers tasted good while he was holding Ta-Ta.Happy to be with Ta-Ta in his crib.Ta-Ta travels on Singapore Airlines.Ta-Ta visits the Oregon coast.Ta-Ta still has two ears.A great pillow to lean on.Bonding.Tata goes to Disneyland.Ta-Ta goes on a road trip. Even with a torn head.

Ta-Ta experiences the cold.

It's about to begin again.

Edwin & partner has bought another property in Richmond, B.C. for tear-down and rebuild. After almost six months of search, this is it. 4871 Mariposa Street with a lot size of 8048 sq ft.

I can see Edwin working from dawn to dusk at Mariposa. Hello to crazy days ahead.

A Wiggles fan

Untitled from Serene Ho on Vimeo.

I thought it apt to begin my first posting of 2011 with a video which is making me smile and giggle.