12 days to 23. Sigh.

This year, I'm trying to lower my expectations because everyone is really busy. And I've grudgingly accepted that with each passing year, to the annoyance of friends who have to scratch their heads thinking of birthday gifts, what you really want gets increasingly hard to buy with money.

So here it is, what I want, both buy-able and hard-to-buy-with-$. You know, to help you save some time and brain juice, just in case you haven't started looking ;p. If you have, then it's ok, I'm sure I will love the gift you've chosen. =D

Of course, please ignore this post if it's not in our custom to exchange birthday gifts with each other. Do not, by any means, take this as a hint that we should start.

Actually, right now, all I want is a heartwarming gathering with each of my small groups. That is, one that is sincere and full of heart, doesn't have a lot of frills but, you know, full of HEART. We could just sit at a nice, classy cafe with a cosy atmosphere and have a great heartwarming chat, and laze the day away. We could go to the KTV and test our 默契 with harmonisation. Whatever it is, just take some time out to listen to me and show some lurve can already. ;) I know, actually it's very hard because what I'm looking for is a feeling. And yeah, I'm asking for time. A most precious commodity as you get older.

I just want to celebrate the intricate bonds I've formed with each of you and be reminded of how 幸福 I really am, and dispel all the bitter thoughts that have haunted my mind of late.

What I'm trying to say is that there's no need to crack your brain thinking of things to buy - you can just choose from the list below, and there's no need to tire yourself out thinking of things to do - read my previous paragraphs and deliver your interpretation. Or simply write a card with all your heartfelt words. I'd rather have my friends well-rested and un-hassled in a meaningful celebration. That's the main point. You can ignore all my demands suggestions if that main point is fulfilled, otherwise the entire purpose of this blog post would be defeated.

So step right up, fairy godmothers, and wave thy wand:

So, less than 24 hours ago, Angelynev and I went to catch the Jap film My Rainy Days and Ah Niu's Ice Kachang Puppy Love.

I hadn't been particularly interested in catching My Rainy Days, since I'd read the synopsis and it involved two very off-putting words: "terminal" and "illness". When these two lexemes come together in a script, disaster brews.

And yet, I found myself liking the movie. Yes, the storyline is rather unrealistic and the girl's actions border on ridiculous, but as one reviewer said, it really hits you how sweet the girl's crazy behaviour really is.

The film also went a bit deeper than I expected (granted, my expectations were really low), exploring themes of death, friendship and the desire to be accepted. Some parts were real tearjerkers. This slight depth was tempered by the director's insistence (or so it seemed) to dress the girls up as if they were supermodels in a fashion show. Ah well. The inevitable eye candy appeal. Still, I liked it and they awakened a rare kind of shopping urge in me: buy expensive clothes to pamper yourself.

Half an hour after the end of My Rainy Days, we stepped into another theatre to watch Ice Kachang Puppy Love, which I'd wanted to catch.

Sadly, it could have been a much better show, IMHO. The ending was rather anti-climax. And I couldn't help but wonder why Ah Niu didn't make better use of all the Malaysian singers he'd gathered to star/cameo in the movie. It could have made it much more interesting.

But all in all, I think it's not bad considering that it's his directorial debut. Fish Leong's character is rather cute and funny, the script manages to deliver a few laughs, their (verbal) expressions and accents felt endearingly familiar, and the female lead 李心洁 is really pretty. Also, I'd never realised how beautiful the rural parts of Malaysia can be.

We went shopping at 313@Somerset after that, where we tried on some not-really-within-my-usual-budget clothes.

So here's your reward for reaching the end of this post:

=D

"It's just like how it is with you and your best pal. You fight, you refuse to speak to one another...but fortunately, in the end you can always find the way back to each other. You forgive her, and it just so happens that she'd very much like to bury the hatchet too. And so it goes on this way...you occasionally get mad at her, absolutely teeth-grindingly furious, but you can't do a thing because you still love her. In fact, you love her more and more. All the best pals on this planet share the same story."

-Selina/Love Spa

Then...it was time to wait. Till the clock struck 8.20 pm.

And the night of nights began.

I was right in front of the stage. Soaking up their radiance, their beauty, their resplendence, their sparkling eyes, their confidence.

My mind was a blank. I just set my camera to burst mode and snapped snapped snapped away with all my might. 200+ pictures for just the first three songs. Even with only 3x optical zoom, I sometimes had to zoom out a little to get every one of them three angels into the frame.

They were so close. I felt like leaning against the stage at one point to see if I could get even better pictures, but I didn't dare to risk being incinerated by some sudden pyrotechnics. But it was close enough for me. As close as a fan can get to her idols without crossing some imaginary line. That's what kept resonating throughout my mind. Enough to see their flawlessness, their 光芒四射， them up close in the flesh. Somehow I hadn't thought of them this way, as real, living, breathing humans, until I got so close. It's different from autograph sessions. I had more than a few seconds this time. Perhaps those minutes will last me a lifetime.

It was all I could do to sneak peeks at them from under my camera whenever I could get the chance to take a breather, when the lighting was too red or blue and camera-unfriendly. It was an almost otherworldly experience.

Even back at my seat, we were nearer to the stage, to them, than I'd ever been at any other concert. Again, I got that living, breathing, in-the-flesh feeling. Kinda odd, but in a very satisfying way.

After the third or fourth song, I think I was supposed to wait for someone to usher me to my seat. But I couldn't just stand there. The next song was starting! I had to catch as much of the concert as I could. So I found my way through various doors and back into the stadium, taking off my 'disguise' as I walked. I was just in time to catch 612星球. I don't know whether it's because this is my favourite song and it's so emo or because of what I'd just experienced (that I'm having difficulty putting into words), but I really really felt like crying as I watched them perform that wonderful song that is my 心声.

I almost teared when they played the videos too. Sigh. Their bond is so magical, their story so perfect.

At the end of the concert, though it was an awesome one and I'd just had the experience of my life, I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. It would have been sooo high and so perfect if they'd done the latest album songs. Especially Shero. Sigh. But oh well! Can't have it all, I guess. =D =D =D

And...

...this is probably the closest I'm going to get my fangirl dreams.

I feel extremely lucky that everything came through for me in the end...enabling me to do what little I can to repay the happiness they have given me and other souls whose lives they have lit up, and filled with every single colour on the palette.

Although at times I try to hide away or deny my fangirl identity, but right now I'm really happy to experience the magic of idol worship (though I maintain that this is much more than that).

Ok yes I am a ball of contradictions.

Hope everything goes well. Kudos to their "minder" (wink wink). I'm rooting for you, as always.