ive had a hotmail account since 1999 and used msn messenger for ages. it was my high school life. i've since moved on to better things like a gmail account and ive kinda stopped using msn messenger. now i only keep my hotmail account for the memories of emails and it's the email i used to subscribe to ticketmaster.
so today i accessed my hotmail inbox for the first time in months and discovered over 1000 of new mail. likely all junk/spam. i even forgot my hotmail password. haha. i signed in only to print my taylor swift concert tickets. scrolling through the junk, i realised there is someone on facebook called Yin Suen using my hotmail account and each day i get at least 20 notifications fr facebook and other similar kinda spam. Deleting all of it would be uber time consuming and im not gonna do it.
so thus ive concluded that i will be closing my hotmail account if i can figure out how to do so. it's kinda sad for me tho cos i'll lose all the emails that ive kept. :( nothing else to remind me of those memories besides my own pathetic brain cells (not very reliable).
so goodbye hotmail. thanks for the memories. i'll always remember the late nights i spent on msn messenger chatting to ppl. my inbox also contains the first time ive been asked out by a guy. those were the days. even includes emails from all my ex bfs. includes one from the current one too when he just got dumped back in the day. lol.
now..i better not lose these printed taylor swift tickets..
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
FAT!!!
oh my! 2nd post in a month!
so i've noticed in the last few months how unfit ive become. or i shuld actually say how FAT ive become. my clothes are actually getting tighter. esp my pants. and i cant wear any belts for long periods of time cos it makes it hard to breathe. im getting fat rolls on my tummy. my shape went from being straight to 2nd trimester pregnant size. haha. i have fat baby in my tummy. and it only gets worse when i eat. and i LOVE to eat. like a lot. i think im a secret binger.
so ideally, i should exercise rite? ive even signed up for a gym membership! but then again, i was signed up to a gym in timaru and only went less than 10 times in a year. pathetic. so now ive signed up to les mills, which is like super duper expensive, in the hope dat the price will push me to go to the gym. and i still havent been. lol. BUT im planning to go tmr after my nite shift! hopefully i wont be too tired.
my aim is to get abs! and also to add some muscle to my arms so i can actually intubate better. my left arm is too weak to pull up the epiglottis. sad.
also have booked a day trip in easter weekend, to franz josef glacier which involves 8 hours (!!!) of walking so i better be fit for this! otherwise waste money again!
MUST EXERCISE! apparently it makes u happy too.
so i've noticed in the last few months how unfit ive become. or i shuld actually say how FAT ive become. my clothes are actually getting tighter. esp my pants. and i cant wear any belts for long periods of time cos it makes it hard to breathe. im getting fat rolls on my tummy. my shape went from being straight to 2nd trimester pregnant size. haha. i have fat baby in my tummy. and it only gets worse when i eat. and i LOVE to eat. like a lot. i think im a secret binger.
so ideally, i should exercise rite? ive even signed up for a gym membership! but then again, i was signed up to a gym in timaru and only went less than 10 times in a year. pathetic. so now ive signed up to les mills, which is like super duper expensive, in the hope dat the price will push me to go to the gym. and i still havent been. lol. BUT im planning to go tmr after my nite shift! hopefully i wont be too tired.
my aim is to get abs! and also to add some muscle to my arms so i can actually intubate better. my left arm is too weak to pull up the epiglottis. sad.
also have booked a day trip in easter weekend, to franz josef glacier which involves 8 hours (!!!) of walking so i better be fit for this! otherwise waste money again!
MUST EXERCISE! apparently it makes u happy too.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
my quarter life crisis
ive just recently turned 26. i remember being 16 and envisioning wat life would be like when i got older. i always thought i would finally be more hip, be out partying, dress well for work and be a totally awesome grown up. nobody mentioned life responsibilities or dat medicine would suck the life out of me.
i've been working a bit more than 2 years now and im at a point where im a bit lost in life. im at the stage in my career where i need to make a choice on wat i wanna end up doing long term. and this has always been a difficult decision due to several factors. ideally, i would want to be passionate abt the chosen specialty and be 100% dedicated to it as well as maintain a work life (or more sleep in my case) balance. i would hope that i would be able to get into the specific specialty of choice and that the training wouldnt be too arduous and hopefully ta dah, consultant by the age of 35. however, ive been getting scared. or maybe lazy. the thought of becoming a registrar scares the crap out of me. and the thought of responsibility for other people's lives scares me. maybe i really should have reconsidered doing medicine. im doing anaesthetics now and altho it probably has a good work life balance, i dont think it's really for me in the long term. the practical side of things is fun altho the physiology and pharmacology is not. however, it's the emergency situations dat i dnt like. i would dread the "can't intubate, can't ventilate" patients. and my success rate with intubations isnt dat great altho i have not actually done the statistics. the other specialties considered include surgery but i kinda think dat i would have a wee heart attack if any of my patients started bleeding uncontrollably. i then thought abt gp, but i havent done a lot of medicine (and i dnt really want to) so i would prob prescribe the wrong meds for all my elderly patients. so i came to the conclusion dat the perfect job for me would be to work at sexual health or family planning since im interested in o&g and it's kinda like a gp setting. but then it sounds kinda lazy doesn't it?
during my single days, i always thought i would be the career woman and focus completely on achieving my goal of becoming a specialist by 35. now dat im "in a relationship" according to my facebook status (lol), and with someone who earns a lot more than me, im slowly becoming tempted by the thought of becoming a taitai. and maybe have some children along the way and becoming a mum but not necessary (childbirth scares me as well). but i really think i would look down on myself or my kids might look down on me when they realise dat im 40 and i depend on daddy for money. dat kinda sucks. and wat if he becomes bankrupt or cheats on me, then i wont be able to support myself.
so i've spent the last few weeks with these thoughts. there is a possibility of taking some time out next year to go on holiday and maybe i mite miss work then. my supervisor actually suggested taking some time out to travel since by the time u finish exams and become a consultant, u probably have kids already so it's kinda difficult to go travelling with kids. and i thought yea dats so tru. but then i start freaking out abt whether i would be competent enough to go back to work as a registrar if i take a 6 month holiday after this year. i do not want to be a house officer again after this year.
conclusion: i think too much and i scare myself from thinking too much.
i've been working a bit more than 2 years now and im at a point where im a bit lost in life. im at the stage in my career where i need to make a choice on wat i wanna end up doing long term. and this has always been a difficult decision due to several factors. ideally, i would want to be passionate abt the chosen specialty and be 100% dedicated to it as well as maintain a work life (or more sleep in my case) balance. i would hope that i would be able to get into the specific specialty of choice and that the training wouldnt be too arduous and hopefully ta dah, consultant by the age of 35. however, ive been getting scared. or maybe lazy. the thought of becoming a registrar scares the crap out of me. and the thought of responsibility for other people's lives scares me. maybe i really should have reconsidered doing medicine. im doing anaesthetics now and altho it probably has a good work life balance, i dont think it's really for me in the long term. the practical side of things is fun altho the physiology and pharmacology is not. however, it's the emergency situations dat i dnt like. i would dread the "can't intubate, can't ventilate" patients. and my success rate with intubations isnt dat great altho i have not actually done the statistics. the other specialties considered include surgery but i kinda think dat i would have a wee heart attack if any of my patients started bleeding uncontrollably. i then thought abt gp, but i havent done a lot of medicine (and i dnt really want to) so i would prob prescribe the wrong meds for all my elderly patients. so i came to the conclusion dat the perfect job for me would be to work at sexual health or family planning since im interested in o&g and it's kinda like a gp setting. but then it sounds kinda lazy doesn't it?
during my single days, i always thought i would be the career woman and focus completely on achieving my goal of becoming a specialist by 35. now dat im "in a relationship" according to my facebook status (lol), and with someone who earns a lot more than me, im slowly becoming tempted by the thought of becoming a taitai. and maybe have some children along the way and becoming a mum but not necessary (childbirth scares me as well). but i really think i would look down on myself or my kids might look down on me when they realise dat im 40 and i depend on daddy for money. dat kinda sucks. and wat if he becomes bankrupt or cheats on me, then i wont be able to support myself.
so i've spent the last few weeks with these thoughts. there is a possibility of taking some time out next year to go on holiday and maybe i mite miss work then. my supervisor actually suggested taking some time out to travel since by the time u finish exams and become a consultant, u probably have kids already so it's kinda difficult to go travelling with kids. and i thought yea dats so tru. but then i start freaking out abt whether i would be competent enough to go back to work as a registrar if i take a 6 month holiday after this year. i do not want to be a house officer again after this year.
conclusion: i think too much and i scare myself from thinking too much.
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