i took a sick day today. even tho i wasnt physically sick. altho i felt emotionally and mentally drained. so i excuse it by saying i took a mental health day. the rmo unit doesnt need to kno this obviously.
the last few weeks have been mentally exhausting. first the earthquake affected me quite a bit even tho i wasnt physically in chch. i was semi-depressed for the first few days following the earthquake and was stuck glued to the constant stream of news. i was checking stuff.co.nz constantly throughout the day reading updates. checking facebook regularly for updates. it was psychologically sad to realise dat the city i call my second home was in ruins. it was the familiar buildings on tv dat got to me. knowing i've spent time in the ctv building and dat ppl were stuck there got to me. it's just really sad. and the fact dat it was world news made it sink in wat a tragedy the second earthquake was and is.
and then i was in hastings for an icu course dat was rather intense. totally unfamiliar with mechanical ventilators and respiratory physiology. after 3 days, im still totally unfamiliar and hoping and praying dat i passed the mcq test. altho i already kno i got quite a few qns wrong. sigh.
i also went thru a life changing decision. it's over and done with but it has been worrying me for the past few weeks. im just glad it's now all over and i want to move on. dnt ask wat it was becos it's one of those things im never gonna tell anyone becos it's over now. i dnt wanna harp on things and i dnt wanna go over the decision dat i made.
also making some other life changing decisions like where i want to work next yr and wat my short term goals r for this yr. i dnt wanna say wat those decisions are in case i change my mind which is highly possible.
so all in all, it's been mentally exhausting. tears have been shed. feeling kinda fragile. and i start a new run as well, anaesthetics. and i have an audioconference tmr which i have not fully prepared for. and i start nites this weekend. whoop de doo. my stressful list never seems to end.
