Friday, February 25, 2011

Okay I'm blogging exceptionally alot because school is going into overdrive next week and a dry spell is up ahead /: i realize some stuff last night.. It's never too late to admit you were wrong:) it's kind of liberating admitting that change circumstaces has permitted you to view things in the past in a different light:) but I can't help but wonder whether part of the liberating process includes going up to the person you erm saw in the bad light and like show your enlightenedness? Part of me things nooo.. I admit my faults to my friends good enough already what.. No need to go back to that person.. But part of me thinks hmmmm if I were wrongly judged I would feel good if some one came up to explain/apologise? Ohh wells i don't know.. Why complicate life wondering about such things? But anyhow I'll just confess here.. I use to think a certain someone was all whatever cause he/she never spent anytime with family.. It was always partying or going out.. The person never stayed home.. Seem like some bum going out all the time with friends or maybe one of the siblings.. Soo yeahh I thought the person is all party and whatever but now that I'm in a similar situation where I go out for dinners all the time or seldom see my family for this period of time.. It occured that maybe not everyone has a family dinner to go home to? Maybe they aren't rebelling and choosing to stay out.. They don't have a choice cause there ain't no one at home? Maybe loneliness is something they fear.. Considering that he/she use to stay in hostel and there were always people around.. Well sighh I guess I'm sorry for judging.. Now do I actually have to tell you?

~ why my brain soooo complicated /:


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

i need to vent the stuff out of brain before i can study..

first i had a good time with friends.. sooo being happy i thought positively "i can come home to study happily." how wrong.. i come home.. and problem after problem is loaded on to me.. okay i feel horrible.. i feel sad for the relationships crumbling around me and i really understand.. BUT there's nothing i can do.. i almost feel like there's an expectation for me to work a miracle or something? i offer to scold the people.. *obviously i am not a effective scolder, but i'll try* and your say no.. so what can i do? i can only support you right? soo yeahh..

btw.. i feel crappy now.. cause i really can empathize.. i really do feel the pain.. sadly i am not objective.. soo i can just snap out of it.. and think "this is your problem not mine.." all i want to do is save everyone from their messes but obviously i can't right? the road of pain is up ahead.. i'll be here i guess.. but i really can't work miracles.. doing the right thing does not make it the pain free option.. whatever it is.. left or right.. pain is inevitable.. the lesser of 2 evils is the way to go from this point.. *hugs* we all will come out stronger..

#i remember why i don't want a boyfriend now... BOYS ARE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE really.. sooo troublesome..

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

a better person

Hi:) i am joanne. what i've been doing amazes me sometimes.. just when i thought i reached my max at becoming a better person i do something nice.. okay i sound self absorbed if you don't really know me.. but REALLY i am amazed.. a few years ago i was this person who didn't know who she was.. she drifted through life, obsessed with the current guy in the picture, it almost looked like she was aiming to perfect the art of dating and having a boyfriend.. now look at me.. do you see any boy around my arm? i have friends.. like REAL ONES.. not that my friends were fake or whatever.. but i am actually a friend... like OMG i appeared on siu siu's favourite people list today!? i have a new nickname "momo-.-" from shitterhood gang.. i have platonic guy friends who call me over when they are in the area.. I AM A TYPICAL FRIEND.. like OMG.. i use the three words "I LOVE YOU" not on some boy but on lovely gabrielle and joel chua who are awesome people who share the load and are helping with the video:) I had a short study date with melsy at the library today too it came with bubble tea and statistic mugging! sooo if you don't get it by now... i feel really blessed:) haha a recycle joke from last night's dinner at ah chun's place "I was blind but now i see" :) i truly see the wonderful people around me...

Dear friends,
You and you and you really bless me:D TTT HOLA! :D
*HAHAHA goo figure what TTT is:D *

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

It's a day after valentine's day and it's been one of the best valentine's day ever:) I'll admit that the past few years were boy crazy.. Silly little hopes and dreams pinned on a guy.. But I realized I'm soo much happier without one:) the importance of girlfriends has never been especially important to me.. But these are the people who share the joys and heartaches through the years no matter how far they are.. There isn't a honeymoon phase and hormone raging.. There aren't insecurities, jealousy and trust issues.. Okay I'm lying.. But friends usually weather occasional natural disaters and blossom after that.. Yess.. I've always blogged about the boys and what I love about them and the things I hope one of them will do for me one day.. Sooo I just wanna dedicate this post to my friends:) I love you people:) I'm gonna make a promise.. Every valentine's I will at least spend 2 hours of it focus on my friends!!! :D

<3 you.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Its new year again... growing fat with food.. not much of an appetite though.. depress by my fatness /: oh wells.. anyhow.. lots of work too.. very hard to enjoy with the depressing feeling of work:( i can't wait till the end of next week.. sighh.. i really have not achieve much:( i have been grappling with what ryan shared previously.. maybe we aren't always called to excel academically.. sometimes we are called to maybe enjoy the family time? the friends? the relationships around us instead of just work work work... i really am AHHH boggled.. why must it get so stressed?