Dear F*F*

reading old online messages. and thinking to myself how could it end this way. it used to be so perfect. can someone click the rewind button

It's just emotions

" cry until no more tears. my eyes hurt so bad" " I can't remember how being happy felt like" these are some of the words that you can hear from patients who are depressed . if you look close enough, you would be able to see those bengkak eyes as a result of crying. feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness are dangerous feelings as it may lead to suicide attempt. Makes me wonder what a person feel or think as they try to take their life away. how to differentiate between just being sadness and depression? I think depression involves functional levels to decline and duration is much longer. But this certainly feels long enough.

Glee - Get It Right

What have I done? I wish I could run.
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right

So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth, that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
Oh my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take?
To get it right
What have I done? I wish I could run.
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right

So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth, that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
Oh my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight.What have I done? I wish I could run.
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right

So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth, that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
Oh my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-igWhat have I done? I wish I could run.
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
[| From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/g/glee-cast-lyrics/get-it-right-lyrics.html |]
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right

So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth, that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
Oh my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight.ht.To get it ri-igh-ight.

Don't make it hard.

But it's always hard especially recently since all pleasures have been taken away. who said it would be easy anyways. sheesh

a place to call my bedroom

I visited my friend, Iqa on the second day of Raya. We stayed at her house for 3 hours. we were the only visitors there besides the 3 kids who came for awhile, so we had the whole place to ourselves. We got stuck there because we watched an Indonesian movie called Ayat-ayat Cinta. I don't normally watch Indonesians shows or movies. But somehow the cute actor made me watch it till the end. everyone else knew about the movie when it was released in 2008. It is based on a novel. An indonesian boy studies in Egypt. there he meets a Christian girl who becomes his close friend but somehow he abruptly married a Muslim lady who he had recently met. Anyways I'm not gonna tell the whole story. In the end he marries both the girls and the Christian one dies while praying after converting to Islam(hence the OST lyrics goes "..namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta ketika ku bersujud". okay my main point is the actor is CUTE and I got carried away talking bout the movie when my topic for today is about bedroom. While I was in Iqa's house, she showed me her bedroom. (okay it's not as kinky as it sounds LOL), but i realised something that my room isn't as homely as it should be. In her bedrooms where bits of pieces of things that showed she grew up there, from pictures to other stuff collected over the years. it really appeared like a room of someone who grew up there. Over the years, I had always been moving and I never had a permanent room. i went to 6 different schools and never stayed too long in one place. I guess now I do have a permanent room but I haven't make it nice. naise if you know what I mean. I think I should do something with it. Decorate it and rearrange stuff to make it better. But I guess I should start by cleaning it first :P

New Posting

Tomorrow I'll be starting my new posting. I'll be stepping into Psychiatric Posting. I'm sure I'll meet some interesting people there. As usual everyone would be excited to begin a new posting. Everyone would come in with new note books etc. I hope my enthusiasm will last throughout the posting.

examination!!!!!!!

I'll be having my long and short cases tomorrow as part of my Orthopaedics Examination. I'm really scared about this because I'm gonna have to face the lecturers all alone. and try to answer their questions without looking too stupid :'( God save me. Now just try to go through some stuff to refresh my memory.