Alive

This picture was taken when I took Matt's missionary pictures. Now we are both going to be missionaries!

As you may now, I am planning on serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I start my papers, officially, today! The thought really fills my heart with joy.  Whenever I think about serving, or I go to my mission preparation class, there is this happiness that fills my soul.  I feel alive again. 

Do you want to know something very interesting? Well, Matt feels the same way that I do. A month ago when President Monson made the announcement on the age change, I sent an email to Matt's mom to send to him. He sent a reply that was short, just saying that he supports me in my decision, and that he would explain more in my letter. Well, I got that letter this past Tuesday, and I just want to share part of it with you. 

"Finally I read the email from my mom this week, the moment I had been dying for all week. I read the email, and in all honesty, despite all the negative thoughts that I had had in the week, none remained after hearing you had started your papers. Not a single negative thought remained, I felt like jumping for joy! I felt so excited and alive, like I haven't felt in a long time. I can't even explain it. All I know is that you have my approval and support, and enthusiasm, and I know without a doubt it's right, putting aside your feelings, the blessing your dad gave you that you mentioned, putting all that aside and just looking at how I feel right now is enough for me to know that it is right."

The negative thoughts he was having occurred after the first email I sent to him telling him my desire to serve. He said that when he laid down in bed that night, he was happy, and then Satan attacked him, telling him all the reasons that Matt should resent me for going on a mission. That sounds kind of crazy, and you might be wondering why he felt that from Satan. Well, to me it is a testimony of 2 things. The first is that going on a mission is the right thing for me to do. Satan will always try to keep a good thing from happening. The second is that Matt and I will be together when I get home from my mission, and that just goes back to the fact that Satan will always try to keep a good thing from happening. I have a strong testimony that all good and only good comes from God.

There's my thoughts for the day. Have a wonderful Sabbath Day!

The Women in Our Lives

A Cherished Memory

I'm feeling a little emotional right now looking at these pictures.  Heather and I took them in June (I think) because I was feeling rather blue and needed to feel pretty.  It certainly helped that.  Heather posted this one on her flickr.  She titled it "Keep Your Heart Young" inspired by a Brandi Carlile song. 

What would I ever do without my wonderful family?  They always remind me of the things that are the most important.  All of my best memories happened with my family.  Oh how I miss them every day. 

Heather, thank you for being such a wonderful sister to me.  I just love all the time we spent together.  Like when we would come to Orem to see Mike and Amy and Sophie and Carl, of course.  Remember when we were driving and I had to go to the bathroom and we were driving past a cliff/rock thing that you thought was pretty?  Well, you said, "That rock is pretty."  I then said, "Yeah!  I could pee on it!"  It just makes me laugh.  I am so grateful for all those times we had together.  And now you're all big and married and I am in college and going to go on a mission!  It just blows my mind right now.  Anyway, thank you for being so good to me.  I love you.  :)

October 6, 2012: The Day that Changed My Life Forever

General conference.  Wow.  That pretty much changed my life forever.  Why?  Well, if you don't already know, President Thomas S. Monson, the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints made an announcement that changed the world.

I have always wanted to serve a mission, but didn't think I would.  And now I am going to!  It is official.  That's that.  :)

As I was reading in Romans chapter 1, I feel like it was just so profound and perfect for my situation.  I imagine that this might be something I would say at my own mission farewell.  The verses are 6-12 and then verse 16.

"Among who are ye also called of Jesus Christ; 

To all that be in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints:  Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ.

First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world.

For God is my witness, who I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers;

Making request, if by any means now at length I mighgt have a prosperous journey by the will of God to come unto.

For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established;

That is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ:  for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek."

I, like Paul, am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, and I am going to go out there and preach it.  That, my friends, is where you find pure joy.  Christ brings us pure joy.  Why do you need God when your life is already pretty good?  Because He will make you happier.  He wants us to be happy.  So if you haven't found Him yet or need to put Him more in the center of your life, do it!  You will find happiness beyond your comprehension.  :)

(This is where I do my happy dance) I'm going on a mission!!!!!!!! 

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes: A few of my favorite things

Today I was trying to clean my room.  I got distracted by a box of letters that I wrote to Matt before his mission.  There is also a box of letters that he wrote to me.  Sometimes I pull random ones from the boxes and read them.  Today I pulled out a few of the ones that I wrote to him, and it was just so precious.  So I'm going to share it here!

Dear Matt,

My life is so crazy and full of stress.  At this moment that I'm writing, you are blind to my day, but by the time you read this, you will already know.

Today my dad a seizure while he was walking to the doctor's office.  He feel flat on his face, causing his teeth to poke out of his lip and other various injuries to his body.  It is so scary.  He didn't come home until about 4:13, and then 4 minutes later, one of my managers called to tell me I was late for a day of work I had overlooked on my schedule.  It was so very inconvenient for me to go to work with the condition of my father.  But I was there in 5 minutes.

I only stayed for about 10 minutes.  I helped a few customers, made a shake, and told Bryan my situation.  His wife decided to cover for me, and I sped back home.

Running down the stairs, I went to tell my dad and John that they didn't need to worry about dinner.  (Just a personal insert right now:  my mom was gone, leaving me with dinner, and the night before my dad had tried to cook but fell backwards and hit his head on a cupboard from having a seizure).  My dad asked how I got out of work and I told him exactly what happened.  I told him that there was no way in this world that I could be away from home at this time without my mom here.  We both cried.

Let me tell you, I can't think of a time where I wanted to talk to you so much in a time of distress.  You help me feel so much better about everything in my life.  With you, I can feel relaxed and just be myself.  I am so looking forward to talking to you soon so my heart can heal a little.

Love, Michelle Lorena

P.S.  I love you!

I dug through the notes he wrote to me to find his response to my letter.  It is just a little snippet.

It breaks my heart to hear about all the bad things happening in your life and I want to help so bad, but I can't really do much at all.  At least I will get to hold you this weekend.

 So, that is one of my favorite things.  I have the most amazing boy in the world.  He really does take care of me and help me, even when he is so far away.  The distance has only brought us closer.  :)

Back to cleaning and studying!

Raindrops on Roses: A Few of my Favorite Things

Hello world!  I didn't disappear!  I just started college!  Wow.  I started college.  :)

Before I started college, however, I got to go back home to see my family.  Heather had her bridal shower, so I had to be there!  And I was so grateful to be home.  It was a much needed break from all the stress I had here.

It was stressful.  And that is all I'm going to say.

My family really does make everything better.  I was happy to just sit on the couch with everyone around me.  Heather and I talked like we used to, and that alone made the weekend amazing.  I love her to death, but with our busy lives, we haven't talked in a long time like we used to.  It will hold that close to my heart since she is getting married and now life will be different for us.  But I'm sure that things won't really change that much. :)

That is one of my favorite things.

The end!

Photo dump

Just thought you might all want to know what I have been up to.

Riding in Alpine slide in Snowbird

Me and my roommate Dakota.  Her mom was nice enough to take us out for the day.

At City Creek Mall with Heather, Bill, Caryn, Emilie, and Talon.

This was at J-Dawgs in Orem.  Funny story there.

On the 15th we had a big dinner at my apartment.  So here is Dakota, Cade (he's from Cedar!), and me.  :)

We built a blanket fort/teepee in our apartment at 1:30 in the morning.  It came down today, unfortunately.  I loved it.

 

Walking outside the Provo temple at night.  That sight takes my breath away.

The Provo temple.  I know have that picture hanging in our living room.

There you go!  I am quite enjoying myself, really.  This week has been hard, but that's okay.  We have a lot of fun and if I am bored, it is my fault!  I'll post more details later.  :)

Comparison

Just a quick status update.

I will be safe here.  No one can compare to Matt.  :)

Now, if you want to prove me wrong, you will fail, but I will tell you what kind of person you would have to find for me.

First, he would have to have a desire to live the Gospel that inspires you.  He has to want Christ in life.  He has to want to live worthy to go to the temple every week.  He has to actually go to the temple every week, if possible.  He has to have a desire to learn things of the Gospel and love learning, even if it is hard in a particular meeting.  He has to know when I might be wanting/needing to have a priesthood blessing.  He has to be building his own relationship with Christ constantly.  He has to want to be a righteous priesthood leader.  He has to want an eternal marriage.  He has to know that the Gospel is the only thing that can bring true happiness.  He has to take me to the temple, even when I'm not endowed and he is.  He has to pray with me.  He has to pray for me.  He has to encourage me to pray and read my scriptures, especially when I am feeling down.

Okay, I'm sure there are probably quite a few out there that fit that description.  So far, I haven't found one here at my new apartment.  Sure, I don't know very many people yet, but that's okay.

Of course, the list doesn't end there.  He has to dance with me.  In the rain, in the kitchen, in the living room, in the office, in the middle of the parking lot at Wal-Mart, in an elevator, you name it.  He also has to make up new dance moves with me.  AND he has to be the one to come up with them, not me.  Oh, and he can't be a dancer.  That would be too much perfection.

He has to want to sing, and loud.  But not very well, because he can't steal my thunder.  I want him to sing because he wants to, not because that is just how it goes for him because that's what he does all the time.  He has to have a bass sounding voice, just because basses make my heart melt.  :)

He has to be cute!  I guess that is pretty easy to come by though.... He has to eat well, and want to eat well.  He has to know how to live on a budget and stay within his means, because I sure don't have a hold on that yet.  He has to take care of his body.

He has to love me for who I am, all my flaws, the 8 pounds that I would like to get rid of, my impatience, my everything.  He has to carry me around.  He has to open all my doors, and know that I will know when he doesn't get them.  He has to treat me with respect.  He has to put a blanket covering my chest when cuddling because in that position, ya know.  He has to call me "beautiful" and "cute" just because he feels like it.  He has to write me cute notes and letters.  He has to like my curly hair.  He has to like my straight hair.  He has to like me with glasses and a towel on my head with no make-up and pajamas.  He has to hold me tight when I cry.  He has to know when to watch what he says because of the time of the month.... and still love me when I am crazy.

He has to be fun!  Not a party pooper.  He has to laugh, hard.  He has to cry from laughing so hard.  He has to like to laugh with me and at me.  He has to laugh at himself!  He has to cry.  He has to let me hold him.  He has to share everything with me without me nagging him and asking him a billion questions.  He has to call me "home."

And above all, he has to be my best friend before he is my boyfriend.  He has to encourage me to be my best self without saying anything.  

Now, as soon as you find someone like that who isn't my dear Matthew, let me know.  Good luck. 

The end.

It was a button

I just thought you would want to hear a very, very funny story.

I moved out this past Wednesday.  We arrived at my apartment place around 3 and spent the day putting things away and unpacking.  Once my mom and Jackie left, I decided that I wanted to use the internet.  Well, to use the internet I either have to have a cable that plugs into the wall or my own router.  So I couldn't use my own computer.  Luckily this wonderful place has a study lounge with a computer, so I went down to use it.

Now, to get in, you have to use a special key.  It is actually pretty cool.  :)  I used my key and the computer, but didn't stay in very long.  I went to the door to get out, thinking I would need to use my key again to get out.  I tried the door, and it didn't open.

I honestly thought that I was stuck.  My key was whipped out and it moved it all around the door, trying desperately to get out of the fishbowl.  I could hear someone out in the hall knocking on a door, so I knocked on the fishbowl door hoping they would hear me.  No luck.  I was freaking out!

Luckily, there is an elevator right next to the fishbowl.  Once someone came up, I knocked harder and yelled, "I'm stuck!"  The girl whipped out her key and opened the door from the outside.  I thanked her and told her that I was stuck.  The boy that was with her said, "Did the button not work?" 

Oh.  All I had to do was press the button under the thing that said "Exit."  I thought I had to use my key!

There's my funny story.  :)

A picture speaks 1,000 words

I stumbled across this picture today, and it made me melt a bit.  :)  How lucky am I to have found someone so... cute and attractive and darling and adorable and handsome and cute to look at me with that much love?  Well, I think I am pretty darn lucky.  :)  Life cannot be any better when he is in it.  Even with these 2 years that we are spending apart, I wouldn't change it for the world.  Nothing has changed between us.  Nothing.  I light up every time I think about him, write about him, hear his name, and everything of the sort. 

That is the end.  :)  Now to continue cleaning....

The reward

Today has been exactly three months since Matt left.  That is a little crazy to think about, really.  It doesn't really seem like it has been that long, but at the same time it feels like it has been longer.  But today marks 1/8th of the time, a whole piece of pie!  ;)

It has been quite the adventure thus far.  I have learned that good things come to those who wait.  Do you have any idea how much time I have spent waiting?  It's really not that bad, but it is hard in the moment.  As I have thought back on the past few months, I have remembered all the times that I waited.  I waited for a letter a few more days than I thought.  P-days were changed, twice, which delayed our email.  One of those times was in Mexico, so we worried a bit more.  Then I have been waiting for that first letter from him from Mexico.

Now that was tough!  I was feeling so insecure and doubtful and all those things that Satan likes to make us feel.  There were times where I knew that a letter would help all those things go away, but it didn't come.  It never came when I waited for it.  The 4th of July was heavenly because since there is no mail that day, I didn't have to wait and be disappointed.

Then I found out that mail could take 6 weeks.  Oh boy.  I was very thankful that Lisa told me, because it would have been very hard.  But knowing that it was going to be a while made the burden lighter.  I went to the temple the next day (the 10th) and everything felt good.  How could it not?  I was okay with everything and the temple gave me the strength I needed.

Today is my only day off this week, which is good, because it is my last week of work.  My mom and I went to walmart, only wanting tylenol PM and cereal, but came out with a bunch of stuff for me for college.  I told her that she couldn't help me anymore.  Then I felt a little nervous.  Anyway.  We also went to Staples and I bought myself a camera for school!  It was only 64.50, and it will be good enough to do what I want.  We got home and unloaded the car. 

And I went to check the mail.  It didn't look like there was a letter from Mexico, so I didn't look too hard.  And I wasn't expecting anything.  There was a wedding announcement!  And then, under that wedding announcement was my letter.

I shouted and danced in circles like a tribal person and shook a lot and ran all over the house and danced and jumped and twirled and screamed and danced.  :)  It was the best feeling ever to feel so happy.  I didn't even need to read the letter I was so happy!  But of course I read it.  :)  And it was everything that I had hoped for, plus a lot more.  :-)

So today was a good day.  I am so grateful that I got that letter, and that I have had so many supportive people by my side, especially Lisa, Matt's mom.  I can imagine that it wouldn't be the most fun thing for the girlfriend to get the first letter, but she has really (and now the tears start) been so supportive of me, praying for me and being positive about everything.  I couldn't have done it without her.  And I really mean that.  I would have been a big mess.  So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  :)

And now as I sit here and think, I remember why I love Matt so much.  He always makes me feel so grateful for everything that I have.  It could be that I am just so incredibly happy now that I am not stuck in my bubble, not reaching out to other people and seeing what I have.  It is always in my vision, but now it's like I put my contacts in finally.  He always does this for me!  My heart is just over flowing with love and gratitude for my Savior and for all that He has done for me.  Without Him, I wouldn't have any of the things that I have right now.  I would be so lost.  But, thankfully, I do have a loving Savior who uses Matt as an instrument in my life, to help me to be a better person.  My mom and I were talking the other day about how everyone needs an anchor, someone they look to for strength, and that person for me truly is Matt.  He makes me want to be better so I can be worthy enough to marry him.  He reminds me of the things that are most important in life, especially of our loving Heavenly Father.

Maybe I'll go buy a pie now.... :)

3 more weeks

Dear friends that read this blog of mine,
Please remind me to not get excited over the mail for 3 more weeks.

Sincerely,
Michelle

P.S.  And I really mean that.

Disappointed... again.

Well.  I have been waiting for my first letter from Mexico for 2 weeks now.  And today, yet again, the letter did not show up in the mail box.  What a bummer.

But that was expected.  It was my dear father that made me blow.  He talked to the mailman, so therefore got the mail.  I watched him go through it and when he got towards the end of the pile, I knew it wasn't there, so I turned to go into the house and he said, "Now don't get disappointed yet!" and continued to sort through the mail.  Just as I knew, I did not have my letter. 

And then he kept going, saying this was the hardest part.  We went inside and he was like, "Yeah.  Just grab something big and heavy and throw it!  Just throw it!"

I am a big girl, dad, in case you haven't noticed.  I am moving out in 19 days.  I am a big girl.  I can handle my problems, and my disappointments.  So don't tell me to do something irrational.  Yes, having that letter would be very nice, but I'm not going to go throw things! 

Geez.  Show some sympathy and be positive.  Negative energy never helped anyone.

So, on a more positive note, here's a picture for you!

Isn't he so cute?!

The lucky kid got to take a trip to the Teotihuacan.  He says (in the weekly email), "The big pyramid with lots of layers is the pyramid of the sun, and the other big one, which is a little smaller is the pyramid of the moon. It was really cool to climb up and see the view from the top, they may not look to big in the pictures, but they are huge! If you have ever seen in movies someone climbing up a pyramid like that and they get to the top huffing and puffing and looking like they are about to die, its not an exaggeration. Those steps are about the height from the bottom of my foot to my knee. Its pretty intense."  I, personally, am very jealous of this little trip they took.  All I know is that he better take me there someday.  :)

The Testament of Freedom

On this day, they day we celebrate the birth of our beautiful country, I just thought I should share a few thoughts.  For our fall choir concert in 2011, we sang this amazing piece that was 24 minutes long.  It is from the writings of Thomas Jefferson, and the piece was written to celebrate his birthday.  I just want to share the text with you, and if you want to listen to the piece also, just click here.  That recording is the 1st and 4 movements.  :)

Movement 1:

The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time; the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them.

—A Summary View of the Rights of British America (1774)

Movement 2:

We have counted the cost of this contest, and find nothing so dreadful as voluntary slavery. Honor, justice, and humanity forbid us tamely to surrender that freedom which we received from our gallant ancestors, and which our innocent posterity have a right to receive from us. We cannot endure the infamy and guilt of resigning succeeding generations to that wretchedness which inevitably awaits them if we basely entail hereditary bondage upon them. Our cause is just. Our union is perfect. Our internal resources are great… We gratefully acknowledge, as signal instances of the Divine favor towards us, that His Providence would not permit us to be called into this severe controversy until we were grown up to our present strength, had been previously exercised in warlike operation, and possessed of the means of defending ourselves. With hearts fortified with these animating reflections, we most solemnly, before God and the world, declare that, exerting the utmost energy of those powers which our beneficent Creator hath graciously bestowed upon us, the arms we have been compelled by our enemies to assume we will, in defiance of every hazard, with unabating firmness and perseverance, employ for the preservation of our liberties; being with one mind resolved to die freemen rather than to live slaves.

—Declaration of Causes and Necessity of Taking up Arms (July 6, 1775)

Movement 3:

We fight not for glory or for conquest. We exhibit to mankind the remarkable spectacle of a people attacked by unprovoked enemies, without any imputation or even suspicion of offense. They boast of their privileges and civilization, and yet proffer no milder conditions than servitude or death. In our native land, in defense of the freedom that is our birthright and which we ever enjoyed till the late violation of it; for the protection of our property, acquired solely by the honest industry of our forefathers and ourselves; against violence actually offered; we have taken up arms. We shall lay them down when hostilities shall cease on the part of the aggressors and all danger of their being renewed shall be removed, and not before.

—Declaration of Causes and Necessity of Taking up Arms (July 6, 1775)

Movement 4:

I shall not die without a hope that light and liberty are on steady advance... And even should the cloud of barbarism and despotism again obscure the science and liberties of Europe, this country remains to preserve and restore light and liberty to them...The flames kindled on the 4th of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them.

—Letter to John Adams, Monticello (September 12, 1821)

The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time; the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them.

 It is an amazing piece, and I love the message.  The first movement says it all to me:  "The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time; the hand of force may destroy but cannot disjoin them."  God gave us everything, and there are people in this world that will try to take our liberty from us, but God gave us our life and our liberty.  As much as those people try, the works of God are Eternal, and He will protect his chosen land and people. 

With all that being said, I have a picture!

That is an LDS temple with one of the rages fires in the background.  It just says that me that the Lord is watching over his people.  The temple is burning just as bright as the raging fire outside.  The temple brings peace to so many people.  It is a place of refuge from the storm.  The power of God will always burn brighter than the destruction of Satan.

So let us all stop and thank our loving Heavenly Father for the beautiful country in which we live. 

Happy 4th!

Relationships 101

This is a spur of the moment thing caused by an observation in my own home. 

If you want your relationship to be better, especially in marriage, say "please" and "thank you," please.  We have been taught this concept since we were children, so you think it wouldn't be so hard.

When you ask someone to do something and you don't say "please" or "thank you," they may just feel like you are taking advantage of them.  We all know that feeling, I'm sure, and it is not a pleasant one.

So the next time you need something done, just use the magic words.  You can say, "Honey, will you please water the flowers for me today?"  That is much better than, "You never water the flowers.  It is your turn."  And much better than, "WATER THE DANG FLOWERS!!!!!!" 

Your relationship will be much better.