my other "ma"

I met Theresa 31 years ago, in the first grade.  She was the only kid in Mrs. Cannady's class who was taller than me.  And I was jealous!   We were in Brownies together.   I remember her mom, Patty, drove a bright red mustang when she helped chauffeur field trips.   Patty was a young mom, she was probably only 23 or 24 at the time, and I thought she was old like the rest of the parents.   But she did have this beautiful long dark hair.  And she listened to music really loud.   I loved that.   And when I spent the night at Theresa's, we got to watch Saturday Night Live.  Good times.

In elementary school, Patty taught me a lifelong important lesson regarding the necessity of not having disguisting morning breath.   I remember Theresa and I running out the door, trying not to miss the bus, and Patty shoving sticks of gum in our hands because we didn't have time to brush our teeth.

By the fourth grade, Theresa and I were inseparable.  I remember her blonde curly-haired Cabbage Patch doll, Lisa.  I remember her orange tupperware lunch box that she swung back and forth when she carried it.   Her mom packed a power lunch!  There were little containers with lids inside, utensils....it was truly a lunch to be envied.  And having spent many nights at Theresa's house, I knew her mom made a mean lasagna, too.   The only thing I never understood was why the whole family put their cake in a bowl and poured milk all over it.   Who eats soggy cake?   (I have learned a lot of people eat soggy cake!)

When we worked on our talent show acts in the fourth and fifth grade, Patty often sat outside and acted as audience when we needed her to.   She was very, very supportive of everything that we did.   Of course, she and Theresa had their battles---which looking back could be pretty comical.   I remember the fight when Patty (the Mary Kay consultant) had to tell Theresa (the middle school woman-to-be) that her makeup made her look like a hooker.   Hahaha!  Not funny at the time, can't quit giggling about it now. 

In middle school Theresa and I went out for cheerleading together, and after hours and hours of practice, we both made the squad.   Patty drove me home and I remember her being there when we told my mom.   Then Mom and Patty took us out for ice cream.  

I recently heard a saying, "God made us best friends because no mother could handle us as sisters."   That pretty much sums up Theresa and my high school years.   Oh we were bad!   Some of the stuff we did and got away with I would still be scared to tell my parents about, and I'm 38 years old.   We were a wicked combination.   I would come up with semi-diabolical plans, and Theresa would give us the muscle and courage to carry them out.   Patty was my soft place to fall in high school.   Because she wasn't my mom, she could still laugh at the stupid things that I did without having to worry about how I would turn out.    She always built me up, never judged me, and was forever telling me I was a good kid at a time when I doubted myself.   I always knew she loved me.

This didn't mean she wouldn't give me hell.   During Theresa and my senior year, we had this problem with tardiness.   (Theresa may still have this problem, I don't know, but I married one of those Type A people who's head explodes when you take too long putting on make-up.  I'm not tardy so much anymore.  Love you, babe!)   School started at 8:10, I think.   And as long as we could roll in by 9:00ish (end of 1st hour), our gym teacher who loved us would turn a blind eye.   Occasionally though, we couldn't even make it there by 9:00.  We had stuff to do!  Business to take care of!  Friends at other high schools!  Breakfast at restaurants!   More than once we smeared oil all over our hands and sashayed into the office reporting "a flat tire".   Yeah, I'm sure that was believable.   And the secretary would call Patty, and Patty would say that yes, we had a flat tire, but could she talk to us for minute?   Then when we would talk to her she would say something like, "Are you okay?  Good.  Now get your a$$ to class and don't do this again."   It makes me giggle to think how often Patty tempered love with "what the hell is wrong with you two?"    I loved her for that.   As a teenager, I needed that.  

Theresa and I lived together for a couple of years in college.   During that time, I remember we spent months planning a surprise 39th birthday party for Patty.   Why 39?  I have no idea.   Once again, I thought she was so old.   (Sigh, hello 38!)  I decided I wanted to make the cake for her party.  I had never made a cake before, and I spent hours practicing piping little roses onto wax paper.   I so badly wanted to make a cake that she would like.   I don't know how it turned out.  People said it was edible.  But Patty said she loved it, so I was  happy.  And then I retired from cake decorating.

Patty is 54 now.  So young.  And she has cancer.

Only God knows how much time we have left with Patty.   We have prayed together.  And cried.  And....I wish this story had a different ending.   She's at home now.   And Theresa is making sure her mom is comfortable, and at peace, and wants for nothing.   She is quite possibly the most remarkable caregiver I have ever seen.   I am so proud of her, of her strength.   I love both of them so much.   I am so grateful that I got to tell Patty how much she means to me.  I ask Jesus every day to hold her, and when it's time, to meet her.   And then I feel guilty for praying this, because I don't condone what's going on.   I don't want her to go.   But I know the One who is in control.   And I know we can trust Him.   

I just wish it wasn't breaking our hearts.

I love you, Patty.  

it's american, all right

I think it is no secret that I have drank the kool-aid when it comes to the American Girl doll phenomena.  

I know that it is ridiculous for a doll to cost $105, and to have an $8 hairbrush, $30 outfits, and $20 pets.   I know dolls do not deserve $20 visits to a hair salon.  (But they NEED it.   Our dolls look kind of rough after a year of lovin'.)

The problem is my sweet Ava.   Of my 3 children, Ava is the least spoiled.   She has the kindest, most giving heart, and she does not ask for things when it's not her birthday or Christmas.   I can take Aid and Coop to Target and they will beg for anything from a pack of gum at the checkout, to a $40 lego set, every single time we go.  (Which would be every day--don't judge me.)   Ava NEVER asks.   She just looks with longing at all the toys she likes, and then happily leaves without a complaint or comment.  

If this is an act, it is genius.  Because when Ava finally does ask for something I always think, 'She never asks for anything.  This must mean the world to her!   I must move heaven and earth to get it!'

Enter:  Makenna.

Makenna was the 2012 AG Doll of the Year.  She is a gymnast.  So when Ava announced last summer that she would like her, I was not surprised.  I bought her in October because I knew that since they would only make her for 2012 she would sell out.   Then I bought her gymnastics equipment, which almost made me physically ill.   A teeny, tiny bar, beam, and mat FOR A DOLL, cost $111 with shipping.  Stupidest, most wasteful purchase ever.   But I adore my daughter---and she wanted it, and she never wants anything.  So I had to swallow my feelings of shame for being such a total tool, and hide the toy up in my closet.

Then when Thanksgving rolled around, Ava changed her mind.   She casually announced one day that she was going to ask Santa for Kit instead.   In the world of AG, Kit is a much more solid choice.   Kit is beautiful.  And Kit has an interesting historical background---she's from the Great Depression---I liked the idea of Kit!   (I know it's not about me, and yes, it's sad that I'm living vicariously through Ava.  But have you ever been in that store?  Sigh.)

I gave Ava 4 weeks to change her mind, and then 8 days before Christmas, Daddy put the now sold out Makenna went on eBay.   But not before I had a completely disguisting talk with Ava about the fact that today was Santa's deadline, and no changing of the mind would be allowed after this date.   It felt so wrong.   Where was the Christmas surprise and magic?   But if that kid had decided she DID want Makenna at the last minute after we sold her, I would have lost my mind.   

Ebay was a success.  Some desperate parent paid through the nose for our doll and her gymnastics equipment.   We got back our money, we paid for Kit, and we had money left over.   And I felt a little bad.   I was profiting off of a kid's Christmas wish.  It still feels kind of slimy.

But I guess it's not my fault that I was prepared and this mom thought she'd buy Makenna a week before Christmas.   Amateur.   And I didn't drive the bidding up.   And I did find myself in a similar predicament one year when I bought a $40 zhu zhu pet on eBay.   So that is how I have convinced myself that I am not all that is wrong with America.  (And maybe I should do this next year?   To pay for Christmas presents?)

And my daughter is deliriously happy with Kit.

off limits, please

When writing a public blog, you must consult your homegirls.

That would be these two:

Due to questionable judgment on the part of kind people, Jen and Traci have been approached in public on at least 4 separate occasions by "readers".   So I had to ask them, is it okay for me to blog about you?   If not, I get it.   I do not want to be responsible for creeping my friends out.  

(**Side note:  When the Trooper and I used to argue, it would often end with, 'And don't you blog about this!'  Whenever he says that, I know I am right.)

My point being, a blog is optional.   It is not meant to make people uncomfortable.  But these girls are a daily part of my life.  It's hard to talk about my business without them, because they are my business!

So Traci texted me that she didn't mind being in the blog, but would I call her "T-Dawg", and then Jen wanted to be "Jenny Boo Boo" in honor of one of the most hideous reality TV shows EVER.  This is all really translation for: My friends crack me up and no pseudonyms will be necessary.   They are such good sports.  But for goodness sake, do not go up to these two in the grocery store and tell them that you saw them on my blog and you know all about them.  It scares the hell out of them, and if their children are with them they may take you out if they perceive a threat.   That's how they roll. 

They may look different in public too, just FYI.   Most pics I post involve running, vacations, or girls' nights.   I call these "A" Game days.  But normally, we are low maintenance girls.   We are the yoga pant-wearing, makeup forgetting, ponytail having, wine drinking cliches of our generation.   We will be carrying coupons.  We will be holding up the line price matching.  We will be shopping clearance.  We are hardcore garage sale and Goodwill treasure finders (you HAVE to see what I got there---another day, though.).  If we are wearing a label or carting around something expensive, I can promise you we did not pay retail for it.   We like nice things, but we are not that impressed by nice things, if that makes sense.  Anyone with a credit card can own a $200 purse.   But if you tell me that you got that purse for 75% off and paid cash, I immediately want to know you better.  (Ignore the hypocrisy of the $105 doll I posted about yesterday.  American Girl seems to be the exception to my rule of "Only lazy, impatient people pay retail."  But just so you know, I did get her for free.  Another day...)   The way I see it, the money in my pocket can be mine or the store's.   And the more of it I keep, the more I am the winner!  And I adore that I have found my frugal soulmates in these two.

Whoa.  How did I get off on that tangent?  I think I was saying we tend to look messy and disheveled in public and can be found fighting over bargains?  Anyway, they are beautiful no matter what, and two of my most favorite people walking on the planet.

And even though I know you will love them, too, please do not talk to "Boo" and "T-Dawg" in public unless you already know them.  It can freak a girl out.

Thank you.

RIP Mommy's Outlet

New in 2013:

http://milemarkersmom.blogspot.com/

The journey continues....

Fun at the OB's Office - 2007

Fun at the OB's office
Date: 11/16/2007

Yesterday I had an OB appt. Johnny was supposed to make it home on time so that the kids wouldn't have to go with, but needless to say, some idiot decided to drink and drive, so Johnny was at the WyCo Jail. Which meant, I could either burden my dear friend Traci, or wake the kids up early, and bribe them to be good at the doctor's office. Since I want Traci to stay my dear friend, I elected to take my sleepy gang to Sonic for cheesesticks and let them watch "Dora" all the way to the OB's office in Shawnee. Let me start by saying, that Aidan and Ava were very, very well-behaved. But, they were still their 2 and 4 year old selves.

It started with me needing to leave a urine sample. I had to take them into the bathroom with me. They were absolutely fascinated that I was going to write my name on a little cup with a sharpie marker, and then pee in it! They were crowding around me so close that I could barely move. Then the cup had to go in the little door on the wall for the lab to pick up. "Where does that door go Mommy?" "Why do they want to see your pee Mommy?" Being a nurse, and determined to have smart children, I explained to them both that they need to check my urine for protein and glucose, which could both indicate that the baby needed the doctor's help. I felt very proud of myself for not dumbing down this lecture, but when I was done they just looked at me like I had told them that we were now all going to sprout wings and fly back to the waiting room. Waste of Mommy's fast-depleting energy #1.

We finally got into the exam room. And I waited my usual 30 minutes. But usually I get to read all the magazines, drink coffee (yes, I'm that kind of pg woman), and take a little snooze on the exam table. Instead I spent the whole time watching a little plastic Mater tow Mr. the King (any Cars fans?), and petting my daughter the kitty cat. Yes, folks, this week Ava is a kitty. She gets in these moods where she will only answer to Kitty, meow, eat like a kitty, and crawl on all fours. It was very entertaining the first day. Now, not so much. Dr. Lombard finally comes in and took one look at me and started to laugh. She said I looked exhausted. I told her that my husband was supposed to be home in time to watch the kids, but not to worry about me because I was turning this guilt into dinner at a restaurant tonight. Then my ever-polite little boys says, "Excuse me, Dr. Lombard?" She said, "Yes, sweetie?" "Our baby is going to be a boy. And he's going to sleep in my room that mommy painted. And my mommy bought us firetruck blankets, except the baby can't have a blanket or a pillow because it might get over his face and he would suffocate." She was very amused and impressed, "That's right Aidan. You're going to be a very good big brother." "Yes, I am!" She then looks at Ava, "What about you missy? What do you think of this baby?" Ava looked right at her and announced, "I a kitty cat." Dr. Lombard burst out laughing, and got the biggest kick out of referring to Ava as "kitty" for the rest of the visit, because that's all Ava would answer to. Ava wasn't even excited. She expects people to acknowledge that she's a kitty. Why wouldn't they? I mean after all, she told them to.

She then proceeded to tell me that my diabetes test was negative (yea!), my thyroid test was great after my medication adjustment, and that my hemoglobin was awesome. All things she checks because I have been complaining of excessive fatigue. She smiled at me and said, "You're tired because you've never been pregnant with two busy kids before." Well, I know that on some level. But it'd sure be nice if she had a pill she could give me that would give me some extra energy. On a positive note, my little guy has decided to turn, and is now head down. Yea!!!! At least one of my kids is trying to cooperate.

Smile for Baby Jesus, Dammit! - 2007

Smile for Baby Jesus, Dammit!
Date: 12/11/2007

Aidan & Ava seriously tested my Christmas spirit last night. As you can see, from my "Ghosts of Christmas' Past" photo album, every year I take a picture of my babies, or baby, for our Christmas card. I save all of them, and I hope to be able to have them all in a book for the kids to look at when they're grown. Well, last night I decided that we really needed to get a picture taken. We hadn't been anywhere especially "cute" or photogenic, so I thought, 'Oh, we'll just do something simple in front of the tree.' Note to self: Nothing is simple with preschoolers. In a nutshell, they were very, very bad. Not the pictures, I'm talking about the kids. I think PSYCHO was the word I used last night. Johnny sat at the computer watching out of the corner of his eye while I tried to wrangle HIS children into some sort of pose. They wrestled, they almost knocked the tree over, they laughed and smiled until I asked them to smile, then they scowled or made sour faces. I was soooo frustrated. I kept talking to them in my nice romper room voice. I didn't want to make them cry. (But only because I didn't want their faces splotchy for the pictures!) Johnny made fun of my dialogue later, "Guys, could you just sit for just a minute and smile so that Mommy can take your picture and we can put it on our Christmas cards? It'll be fun! Then we'll be all done, okay?" I did not get one shot. They were crazy! After about 15 minutes, I sat on the floor, mad and tired. Johnny peeked his head out, and saw how out of hand it had all gotten. I told him, "I think I hate your kids." Super Dad to the rescue! He came downstairs, and in his mean disciplinarian voice, started barking orders. "Aidan, sit down! Ava, sit down! Now hug each other! Look at me and smile!" Well, the kids don't play favorites. They were as awful to him as they were to me. Ava just reached up and tweaked his nose and then made a snarly face. We finally had to laugh. The whole scene was so funny. After about 2 more minutes of begging, pleading, and wrestling, Johnny threw up his hands, "Just buy some generic little Christmas card." Game and match to Aidan and Ava. Oh well, it's just a card, right? I think I'll just use their Santa pictures.

My Bookworm

Total obnoxious bragging alert.  If that sort of thing offends you, click the red X in the upper right hand corner. 

Today was the last day of school for 2012 for the kids, so we took teacher gifts.   In addition to the teacher gifts, we also took gifts for the two librarians.

My son, Aidan, is the librarians' pet.   One of the school librarians actually takes Aidan down to show him new shipments of books when they come in.   Both of the librarians have told me that they love to have "discussions" with him about various books and get his opinion.   He reads constantly.   Aidan easily reads 90 minutes a day.   And considering Aidan is so active, I think this is impressive.  Every time we get in the car, his nose is in a book.   And truthfully, that was me as a kid, so I like it.   Most of his books are 6th grade level material, very long chapter books.   He used to read books about the military, but lately it's all about sports, or mythology.     And, since we live in a small town, one of our school librarians moonlights at the community library.   We love this lady.   She is SO good to my kids.   Aidan cannot just go into the library and check out books---he follows poor Mrs. K around asking recommendations, asking her to find things, giving her his thoughts on past suggestions.   Very rare for a 9 year-old boy, I imagine.   And she loves it.  

Anyway, we bought each librarian a loaf of povitica bread with a pretty bow on top---one of my favorite go to gifts.   When I went into the library to give Mrs. H her's, I had to introduce myself---we had never met.   I just told her that I had heard lots of good things about her, and that she was very important to my son, and 'Merry Christmas!'.    She was touched.   She's probably in her 60s, and I would bet that she is not used to having a 9 year-old boy fan club.   And then she said the nicest thing to me.   She said, "My favorite thing about Aidan is that you can just tell he is this extremely bright little boy, and I love our discussions, but he still fits in with the other kids and has lots of friends."

I teared up.   Because I am a sap like that.   I cannot think of a nicer thing someone could say about Aidan.   And it's true.   Aidan is a people person, yet so mature for his age.   Aidan does not have an enemy.  I am so proud of him.

Blast from the Past - 2007

Blast from the Past
Date: 10/29/2007

Dear Aidan,

You are four years old today! I can hardly believe it. Yet, I can't believe we've only known you for four years. It feels like you have always been a part of me. When I think back to the journey it took to get you here, it still makes me cry. It was long, and expensive, and at the time, never-ending. You were a very wanted baby, born to a couple who wasn't sure if they'd be able to have biological children. (Comical now, I know.) You were the little boy who transformed me into "Mommy", and Johnny into "Daddy". You were the baby that so many people prayed into existence. I could not love you more. You are getting so big now, and you have to share Mommy and Daddy with Ava, and soon to be, a little brother too. But you'll always hold a special place in my heart. Ava and your baby brother are definitely icing on the cake, but you my dear boy, were the one who got it all started. I thank God every day for choosing us to be your parents. You are so special, and so funny, and born of such extraordinary measures, that you should never doubt that God has great plans for you. I pray that we help you become the man that God wants you to be.

Love forever & ever,
Mommy

To celebrate Aid's birthday, I've added a few pictures of our day four years ago. And a new video clip of Aidan's first day on the planet. Enjoy!

Dear Santa Letters - 2007

Dear Santa Letters Date: 12/05/2007 Today I decided to let Aidan and Ava dictate letters to Santa. I'm not sure, but I think Aidan is trying to bribe Santa. Dear Santa, Since you have been good all year, I'm going to send you some stuff. First I'm going to give Mrs. Claus some make-up, and I'm going to give you a guitar. Could you please bring me a shark ship? Aidan Dear Santa, Please bring me some fishies, and an octopus, and a fish net, and a ducky, and a turtle, and a shark, too. And a Baby Alive. Do you like santa cookies? Ava Aidan and Ava love the holidays! They have been singing and dancing to Christmas carols daily. We also have a Fisher Price nativity scene that they like playing with. The "baby Jesus toy", as they call it. Another favorite pretend game right now is playing Santa Claus. They take turns sitting on one another's laps, finding out what they want for Christmas, and then one gets to play Santa and deliver the goods. They have wonderful imaginations. Ava is still really into "sea toys", as you can see by her letter. She's still a kitty sometimes. But she also likes to be a seal and a leopard. Today she and Aidan were playing with a tape measure, and she cut her "paw", as she told me later, much later, after she had bled all over our light-khaki-impossible-to-get-stains-out-of-sofa. It took every bit of restraint I had to kiss her and get her a band-aid before I took care of my sofa. Note to self: Read a good parenting book. Optimistically, we're hoping our baby brother will make an appearance in the next 5 or 6 weeks. Officially, the due date is still January 23rd, but surely he'll come out early to join in all the fun? It's strange, but the holidays have had a touch of sadness for me this year, because as I told Johnny, I feel like someone's missing. The baby is so real to me already, that I want him here to celebrate with us. Johnny thinks I'm insane, or a little masochistic. We've pretty much got the boys' room ready. When it's clean and I get the bedding washed, I'll take a picture and post it. Every time we go to Wal Mart, we pick up a little something that he'll need; a pacifier, some lotion, some baby wash, diapers, etc. For some crazy reason, every time I have a baby, I think I need a nice robe, slippers, new lip balm, and new bath & body works lotion. And my birthday took care of all of that. So now we wait..... Our happy announcement for the week is that we have a new cousin! Aunt Soprina and Uncle Bobby had a little boy on November 30th. His name is Logan Michael. He lives outside of Chicago, but we can't wait to meet him.

My Son the Pimp - 2007

My Son the PimpDate: 09/06/2007 Girls like my son. They always have. I noticed it when he was a baby, and I swear I have always known that this day would come. But I just got through the "taking my baby to school" thing. That's why today has me reeling..... When I picked up Aidan at Language Lane today, I received a bit of a shock. Apparently he has a girlfriend. Mrs. Barta, the teacher, met me at the car to let me know that Aidan and Audrey are "very good friends and like each other very much." They hold hands and walk around the class together. HE IS THREE YEARS OLD! I played it very cool. I smiled and said, "Well, that's nice that you have a good friend buddy." (NOTE TO RELATIVES: No one is to tease, or embarrass him, or even mention this in front of Aidan!) Inside I was a mix of emotions. I was laughing, I was crying, I was concerned, I was annoyed that I was concerned. If Mrs. Barta is telling me this, she's no doubt telling Audrey's mom. Will Audrey's mom think it's funny/cute, or is she one of those crazy moms who will want to have meetings with the teacher? And what if Audrey holds another boy's hand next week? (See how I'm assuming that she's the instigator? I think parenting books call that Denial.) It's ugly, and sad to admit, but I will be a mom who hates every girl that breaks my son's heart. Forever. Oh my. I think I need a drink. Oh yeah, I'm pregnant. These children are definitely aging me. HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING ALREADY? I still have to wipe his little bottom after he goes to the bathroom! He can't have a girlfriend. He still prefers sippy cups! He sleeps in a little plastic firetruck bed. If he kisses her, I'll have to become one of those moms who homeschools her kids. Or, if he can just hold off until after I have the baby, all of this might seem much funnier with a glass of wine.

Sea Toys - 2007

What's up with the sea toys?
Date: 11/09/2007

My daughter is obsessed with "sea toys". That's what she calls them. It's a broad term that includes fish, ducks, frogs, and any other ocean/pond loving creature. She has dozens of them. She carries them around in little bags, her "nets", as she likes to say. It's very weird. We have no idea where this obsession came from. I had some grandiose ideas about Christmas that have been set aside, because when I ask her what she'd like Santa to bring her she says, "Some fishies and a fishing pole." Now my stepdad is thrilled. This is a dream come true. A darling little girl who loves to talk about, think about, and dream about fishing. Me? I don't really mind, I just want Ava to be happy. But there's not that many fish toys out there except bath toys labelled for 6 month olds. The other day she said she wanted a Baby Alive, and you can bet I jumped on that one. Fifty dollar baby doll? No problem. I'm so happy that it doesn't have fins that I'd buy her two if she asked.

Aidan is Aidan. We had parent teacher conferences last month at Language Lane. And I have no doubt that they "know" my child. They told us that he's very articulate, smart, verbal, and bossy. (Bossy is my word, not their's.) They also said that things come very easily to Aidan, and when something doesn't, he gets frustrated easily and doesn't want to learn it anymore. That is him in a nutshell, and also the number one reason why he and his dad butt heads. Johnny wants Aidan to work really hard at everything, and in typical male fashion, Aidan likes to do what comes easily and skip the things that don't. I think he's a pretty great kid, and he's smart as can be, so I'm not too worried about him. Johnny had another parent stop him at the Y the other day to tell him that Aidan was so nice to all of the other kids, and that she thought he was a very polite little boy. That made my day!

Baby #3 is hanging out, usually under my right rib. Still prefers the breech position, and as we close in on week #30, that is making me very nervous. The thought of my doctor pushing around on my stomach to turn him head down makes me sick, and scares the heck out of me too! I've about decided that if it comes to that, I might just be looking at my first C-section. Not ideal, but I've prayed about it, and we'll see how it all unfolds. I've been working on the boys' room lately, and it's starting to come together. I hope they don't mind being roommates for a few years. I like seeing the crib up again, and the little tiny diapers and sleepers. I'm so glad that we're getting a third time around! I can't wait to meet him. Now if only I could say the same for Ava. She told me very seriously a few weeks ago, "I don't wike your baby." Hopefully he'll win her over. :)

First Day of school - 2007

First Day of School
Date: 08/22/2007

I'm writing this with a wounded heart. I sent my first baby to school yesterday. (Please forgive the drama, I'm blaming it on pregnancy hormones.) Aidan had been running high fevers for two days, and I was very worried that he'd be sick, but we prayed all weekend, and God answered our prayers with a healthy (although nervous) boy. I even got up about 4am on Tuesday to check and see if he had a fever. My intentions were to give him enough Motrin to mask his sickness and send him anyway. I know what you're thinking, 'she must be a great nurse', but he might feel left behind if he missed the first day, right? Anyway, no need for that, he was fine. At Language Lane there is a big circle drive, and you pull your car up, and a teacher comes out and snatches your baby from your car, and runs off before they have a chance to kiss you goodbye. Well, sort of. They actually come out, and say, "Good morning Aidan! We're so glad you're here." Then Aidan started to jump out (happily), but I stopped him with my voice cracking, "Give me a kiss buddy. I'll see you later. We'll go to McDonald's for lunch, okay?" "Okay Mom." MOM. Not Mommy, not Mama, but Mom. I almost lost it on the way TO school because a Tim McGraw song was playing on the radio and a voice I barely recognized called from the backseat, "Turn it up please. I like this song." Excuse me? I know I was pregnant with that child a mere four years ago, so he could not be thirteen, but that's what it sounded like. Oh, more heartbreak. Anyway, I digress. So I dropped Aidan off, and I cried the whole way home. I wasn't even sad leading up to that day. I thought I'd be fine. (Darn hormones!) I called Johnny to tell him that I'd done it, and he sounded worse than I did. He kept saying, "Oh poor guy, I'm so nervous for him." It was so nice that someone else understood how I felt. So, Ava and I went home for a few minutes. She immediately wanted in Aidan's room to play with all of the stuff that she's normally not allowed to touch. It was kind of funny, except that Aidan and I have this "oldest sibling" bond, and I felt protective of my, and I mean his, stuff. But she had a blast playing with his castle and knights until it was time to go to the library. (I thought Ava needed a little academia, too.) Time crept by pretty slowly until it was time to go pick him up. He climbed into my car looking unharmed, clean, and pretty much the way I dropped him off. Score one for LL. Mrs. Vaughn said he was a little teary a couple of times, but that he was a very good boy, and it was nothing that a hug and a few kind words couldn't fix each time it happened. That made me feel good, that he's still getting hugs. He is only 3. After we drove off, it was like pulling teeth to hear how his day went, and I was prepared for that. Aidan leaks his information slowly, and only when he's ready. So in the next 5 hours, I gradually learned that he learned about robots and squares. He colored a picture of balloons, and read a book about clowns. He danced to music, but he didn't want to sing. He ate cheese, grapes, and drank orange juice at snack time. And he doesn't know if he wants to go back or not. (I ignored that.) So I guess it has started. He's a school kid now. I just don't know how I'm going to go through this with two more kids. Does it get easier?

Fall is in Full Swing! - 2007

Fall is in Full Swing! Date: 10/15/2007 Basehor's Homecoming Parade kicked off our weekend. Ava didn't throw any of her candy. She sat in her wagon unwrapping her tootsie rolls and eating them herself. Aidan got to ride on L.L.'s float. He had fun, but also came home with a half bag of candy. They had fun dressing up in '50's costumes though. Saturday was spent at Chuck E Cheese's. Or as Aidan calls it in his prayers, "And thanks God, for letting us go to Chuck's." We were celebrating Aidan's upcoming birthday with his best pals: Reese, Booker, Ryan, Luke, Ally, Chloe, and Benjamin. So much fun! Originally we were going to Pumpkin Hollow at Deanna Rose Farm, but since we didn't build an ark, we thought Chuck's was a dry alternative. Baby #3 is growing bigger and bigger, and kicks a lot. This week we're going to have a 3D sono done. Hopefully Aidan and Ava will like getting to tag along. The clinic has a big screen and serves refreshments. But I don't think they'll give me a CD-ROM, unless I pay an additional $50 to upgrade to their "I have nothing better to spend money on" package. We have the "We already have two kids and need to buy a new carseat" package. So I think we just get 4 pics and a DVD. Poor baby still has no name. :( Daddy is very picky this go round. Daddy is now further under Ava's spell, if that was possible. I saw him apologize to her after punishing her this week. She and Aidan like to play pretend right now, and Aidan is her daddy. Today I heard her say, "When my daddy be home Aidan?" "You mean your little Daddy?" he said, referring to himself. "No, my big daddy." I think she waits for him all day! Now, we wait for Halloween........!

Comedy Central - 2007

Comedy CentralDate: 08/09/2007 Aidan and Ava are apparently doing stand up comedy this week at our house. Tickets are free, no reservations needed. But if you warn me that you're coming, I'll find some reason to use you as a babysitter. Anyway, I just had to write these down before they go away (mommy alzheimer's, y'know). 1. Ava now talks about our baby. She wants a "dirl" (we don't do the "g" sound yet), and she wants to name her Fiona. 2. To which Aidan replied, "And if it's a boy, we can name it Shrek!" I think he's serious. (I know Ava's serious.) 3. Yesterday I found Aidan laying in the family room with a blanket covering his face. I asked him what he was doing. He said, "I'm pretending like I don't have a head." Oh....okay. 4. Today Ava told Johnny, "I not scared of you," while he was trying to discipline her. I didn't even try not to laugh. 5. While eating lunch at Burger King, both kids were wearing golden paper crowns given to them by the cashier. Aidan was sitting eating his chicken nuggets when he looked around and announced, "It sure is great to eat lunch with a crown on!" Keen observation Aidan. :) I'll be adding to this as the month progresses. I feel certain that they're not done. Oh, and I saw a quote that I need to live by. I'm going to have it tattooed on their little foreheads so that I don't forget. It read, "Give me patience with my blessings." Amen.

The Ingram Update - 2007

The Ingram Update
Date: 09/20/2007

We've been busy this summer, and we're glad to see that Fall is almost here! According to L.L. it starts on Sunday. Schools are good about reminding you of little holidays and things we forget to celebrate.

Ava is relishing her time alone with Mommy & Daddy when Aidan's at school. She is so good about entertaining herself. She sets up elaborate tea parties for herself, she goes to Story Time at Basehor's library, she reads, she goes to Wal Mart alone with Mommy, ...it's been pretty nice. We're working on potty-training (again). She's not too in to it. I don't think we're near the "no diaper" time. Hopefully by the time baby #3 arrives? She did finally pick out her Halloween costume though. She decided that she wanted to be a witch. A "big scary daddy witch", whatever that means. But she turned her nose up at most witch costumes in the stores because they were girly, or cutesy. Little witches with black or purple tutu's, lavender witches, etc. She wanted a long black dress, and that's what she got! She's so funny like that. She's definitely not a tomboy. She loves doing hair, nails, makeup, and pretty shoes. But she doesn't care for dolls, and she doesn't like traditional "girl" toys yet. She likes my little ponies, fish (all kinds of plastic fish!), and she'll wheel these animal babies around in her stroller and feed them bottles while her dolls lay neglected on the floor. :) Aunt Megan has declared that these are the makings of a "cool girl". Translation: "Oh she'll be wild like her aunt." Just kidding, Sis.

This month our big outing was to the Natural History Museum at KU, and then to Pizza Street. Aidan and Ava are crazy about the Pizza Street commercials. They both run to the TV from wherever they are in the house when they hear the jingle start. Daddy is such a doll that on his day off he decided we should go eat there, even though it's in Lawrence, to make them happy. I found one in the phone book in Olathe, but Daddy thought they should get to see the one that they know and love! He's so good like that. How many dads would drive 25 miles to eat at a pizza buffet that doesn't even taste that good? (No offense Pizza Street.) They had so much fun playing in the arcade, and making their own ice cream cones from the machine. That night when Aidan said his prayers, he thanked God by singing he was glad he got "all you can eat for $3.99!" Sometimes I think God must wait with baited breath to hear what my crazy kids will pop off with when they're praying. I love that about them.

I think Aidan and Audrey's romance might have cooled. I'm hearing a lot about a girl named "Lexi Sue" this week. I try not to ask too many questions. I just love listening to him talk about his friends and his little world away from home. He seems so grown up. Right now we're gearing up for Basehor's Homecoming Parade. We have went and watched it for the last 3 years, but this year the kids get to ride on L.L.'s float and actually participate. They are very excited!

Happy Fall!!!!!!!!!!!

Ready or Not - 2007

Ready or not, here he comes....Date: 07/30/2007

Aidan starts school 3 weeks from tomorrow. He will go to Language Lane from 8:30 to 11:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Right now he's very excited, I just pray that he stays that way. I don't want him to be scared. My mom took a picture of me wearing a little blue sundress and crying my eyes out my first day of preschool. Being separated from her was so hard when I was little, I still remember being afraid. I don't want Aidan to feel like that. I've been praying for him every night, and hopefully this will be an exciting new adventure for him! I was pretty sad about Aidan going to school, as some of you know, but you'll happy to hear that I'm over it. God has prepared me to let Aidan grow up. The first thing that happened was my visit to Children's Mercy's Pediatric Intensive Care Unit last week. My good friend had heart surgery to correct a congenital problem, and Children's was the only hospital in region who would operate on her. I sat up there with her for 2 days, and it shook me up. I'll admit I'm pretty emotional right now, but I don't know how nurses can work there. Walking down the hall, and hearing little kids crying from inside the rooms just tore me up. Then one afternoon I witnessed a code. I saw them racing the crash cart to the room, the doctors walking quickly, the mother crying hysterically, and tears were just running down my face. I have worked so many codes, and done CPR so many times, that I truly couldn't number how many times I've witnessed identical scenes. But I have never felt like that. It's just different when it's a child. Right then and there I decided I was going to be 100% grateful and happy that my kids are healthy and growing, even if growing means that they're not babies anymore. No more feeling sad. This is just how life is, and that's it. Thank God that my kids are growing up, because I got to see parents living the alternative, and that is a sadness that I never want to experience. The other way I'm being prepared to let go, is on a lighter note. AIDAN IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!! He has become very opinionated, demanding, and wants to be entertained constantly during all his waking hours. I think it's time for him to make some friends, and start having his own little life apart from Mommy and Daddy. Not 5 days a week, I'm not quite ready for that! But two mornings a week sounds lovely. It'll be good for all of us. :)

Everyone keeps asking me if Ava will miss her brother. Maybe......but, I don't think so! Ava likes having mommy and daddy all to her self occasionally. One of her fave things to do right now is lay down in my lap so that I have to hold her like a doll, and then she says, "I Mommy's baby." She can be so loving. Yesterday we got ready for Grandma's birthday dinner together. I was doing a quick polish to my toes and she immediately sat down, "Do my toes Mommy. Pleeeease!" At first I resisted, because we were running late, but then she got so sad, so I had to. She was so cute, blowing on her little hot pink toes. She understands never to touch them, and she loves to walk around the bathroom barefoot until they dry. Then I put some of my perfume on her wrist. I'd never done that before. She rubbed her little wrists together like I showed her, then put her hand to her nose to smell. Her little face lit up in the biggest smile, she was so happy! It was so sweet. She brightens my day so often. I was having a bad day last Thursday. No particular reason, just not feeling good. I felt guilty for not being a very good mom that day. I was so impatient at times. But while I was changing her diaper, she looked up at me and said, "Mommy, you nice", with the happiest smile. I said, "You think I'm nice?" She nodded and said, "I love you best whole world." How can you top that? Part of the reason I try to journal these little moments is because someday I want them to understand how happy they make me. I love you guys!

Taking Care of Mommy - 2007

Taking Care of Mommy....
Date: 06/25/2007

Well, Daddy is going back to work tomorrow. Vacation is over. He has been a rockstar around here the last 2 ½ weeks. I have been sick, sick, sick. Morning sickness is not the word. More like all day exhaustion and nausea. Daddy has stepped up like a champ. He has done more entertaining, feeding, and bathing than I thought possible. He’s done thoughtful things like picking up pizzas for dinner when I was working Saturday, because he knew I’d want to crash when I came home. He took the kids outside to play on the new slip’n’slide Sunday afternoon so that I could lay in bed and nap when I came home from work. He has been so thoughtful, and so helpful, that it makes me want to cry. What will we do with him at work? (Actually, Aidan & Ava will make out fine. They’ll probably get to watch TV for 8 hours straight.) And that leads me to the update on the shorter Ingram’s…..
Ava is something else. I’m so proud of her. She has become such a grown up little person in the last month. Kind of a mean little person, truthfully, but she’s still little enough that it’s funny. When she can’t get her way with Johnny, she calls him “big ugly man”. It’s so terrible, but we can’t help but laugh. She’s not the least bit afraid of him. She’s also inherited my dislike of waking up in the morning. We’ve discovered that she lays in her bed awake for quite a while before she surfaces. I leave her alone, because I understand that a girl needs some space to wake up. Johnny goes in and tries to talk to her. That leads to her 2nd most horrible phrase lately, “Get outta my woom.” She says this in a very serious adult voice. Something she didn’t inherit from me though, is my need to be thrifty and use coupons. Ava wore hundreds of Pampers Cruisers diapers. So I have almost as many coupons for the Pamper’s Pull Ups. However, the folks at Huggies were a little smarter, because the Disney princesses trump Dora the Explorer in our house. The Pampers have Dora all over them, but the Huggies have Ariel, Cinderella, and Jasmine on the front. Ava noticed this on her own, and refuses to let me even put Pamper’s in the cart. If someone had told me this story two years ago, I would have thought, “So buy the darn Pampers and tell the kid that that is her only option.” But I’ve been schooled by the best now. Ava would just go naked. She would take that diaper off, crying the whole time, and refuse to ever let them touch her. This child cannot be worn down. As much as a pain as this can be, I’ve decided it’s an admirable quality, and will probably take her far in life. (My friend Anne taught me to say this whenever my kids are doing something stubborn or crazy that other people’s kids don’t do.)
Aidan has been very sensitive lately, in a good way. He wrapped up his T-Ball for the summer tonight. He is actually very good! We were impressed. Fielding the ball was his favorite thing, and he was quite aggressive at it. No matter where the ball went, he was there, “I got it!” Then his coaches told him to give the other kids a turn to get the ball, because a few were crying. And they shut him down. Tonight he was almost more like a cheerleader. He’d watch the ball roll by, “Oh get it CJ, get it!” Johnny pulled him aside and tried to encourage him to go after the ball, too, but he said he was just letting the other kids get a turn. What a nice, unselfish, un-Cori and un-Johnny thing to do. He’s also been very sensitive about me not feeling well. We always rock in Ava’s room and sing a few songs at bedtime. Last week, I was so nauseated that I couldn’t open my mouth very wide to sing. (I know that sounds dumb.) Aidan noticed without my saying anything, and told me, “It’s okay mommy. I’ll be the singer tonight.” And he did, singing extra loud to make up for his inadequate mother. I have the best family in the world. Love you guys.

Summer - 2007

BEST THINGS ABOUT SUMMER:
(according to Aidan & Ava)
Date: 07/18/2007
1. Going to the pool in Bonner. We especially like to go with Luke & Benjamin.
2. Eating Culver's at night with Mommy & Daddy.
3. Playing with the garden hose, and helping Mommy water flowers.
4. Hanging out with our neighbors in their yards. Everybody's having babies! Booker's mommy, Kade's mommy, Layna's mommy....no wonder Reese's mommy says she won't drink the water around here!
5. Buying school supplies for preschool. Yesterday we ordered a Power Rangers backpack with "AIDAN" printed on the front. Very cool!
6. Taking long naps every day. (Really, only Mommy likes that.)
7. Drinking Caprisuns while playing in the backyard.
8. Watching movies in the family room after dinner until Mommy thinks it's cooled off enough to go outside. One of our favorites right now is "Brother Bear 2".
9. Thinking up names for our baby. Right now we call it Baby Pickle. That name makes us laugh and laugh.
10. The 4th of July celebration. We went to a parade, they threw us LOTS of candy, then we saw fireworks. Oh, and we liked shopping for fireworks with Daddy, too.

Ava's 2nd Birthday - 2007

Ava's 2nd Birthday
Date: 06/11/2007

Last summer we went to San Diego and Ava developed a love for macaws. So when I asked her what kind of birthday party she wanted to have she chose a "macaw party", and that led to Ava's Birthday Luau. We decided to go low-key, only family and neighbors. Because as a lot of you know, our neighbors are like our extended family. We're very blessed to have several families in our neighborhood that we play with, eat with, and next weekend we're all vacationing together. So, needless to say, Ava was surrounded by people who love her, and who are shaping her into the big girl she's becoming. All the grandparents made an appearance, Baby Tyson came, and our very good buddies Luke & Benjamin came too. Ava's aunts and uncles were there, like they always are, loving and spoiling her. She was so excited! I loved watching her open her gifts, "Okay, let's see what me got.." I could just eat her up! She's growing so fast, and we just want to thank everyone for their love and continued support. Ava is a very blessed little girl!
I also want to take time to thank Grandma Diane, Oma, and Grammy & Papa, who are always on hand to babysit. We love all of you very much, and we know how blessed we are to have each and every one of you.

Wanted - 2007

Wanted: One Big Girl with Good Hair to MarryDate: 05/03/2007 Last night, Aidan and Ava and I were laying in my bed watching "$40 a Day" before they went to bed, when he began the most fascinating conversation. "So.....do you like kissing your husband?" Having no idea where this conversation could lead, I felt very nervous. I told him, "Yes, but why are you asking me that?" At this point, he didn't want to make eye contact with me, he starts squirming around and focusing on his teddy. "Well, I was thinking that I need to get married and I'm gonna have to kiss my wife." I should have known this was coming! He had been making Ava laugh by giving her "movie star" kisses all evening. So I told him, "Well buddy, you don't need to worry about that yet. You don't need to get married until you're a lot bigger." And then he made eye contact again, because he was so happy that I understood him, "I know!" he exclaimed, "I'm too little to reach any of the girls to kiss them now. I need to grow." I had been doing really well about not laughing until that. I would never want to hurt his feelings, but that was so cute and comical! "Well Aidan, your wife is probably a little girl right now too, and she has to grow up too. And you're not too short to kiss little girls." "No Mom, I only want to marry a big girl." (See, like his dad, Aidan already likes older girls!) I had a feeling Aidan had a prospective bride in mind, but I didn't know if he'd tell me. I thought, and I still do think, he loves Veronica, his new babysitter. She watches him every 3rd Sunday, and he lights up when he sees her car pull into our cul-de-sac. So I got up the nerve to ask, so fearful that my question might end our fun conversation. "So, who are you thinking about marrying?" "Well...I guess Erin's already married?," he said with a little bit of hope and a touch of sadness. "Yes sweetie, Erin married Uncle Bubby." That's my brother's new wife. Aidan adores her. Then in the saddest little voice, he said, "Well that's not fair." "I'm sorry Aidan, but I'm sure you'll find a girl you like even more than Aunt Erin." And thankfully, little boy hearts can be very resilient. He started to bounce on the bed, "I know! I will find one!" And then he left our world of grown up conversation, and became a three-year-old boy again. I love having those kind of talks with Aidan. I hope he will always trust me with what's on his mind. I thought the issue had been forgotten this morning, until I called him for breakfast, when he announced as if we were still mid-conversation, "Oh, and mom? I want my wife to have good hair." What a guy you already are Aidan. I love you.

Poison Control Crisis - 2007

Poison Control Crisis
Date: 05/30/2007


We made our 4th call to Poison Control today. Ava sucked on a bottle of Febreze. Johnny found her happily squirting it all over our couch in the family room. (At least half of the bottle was gone.) I was cooking dinner at the time, and I like to think that they were under their father's supervision. Never mind that I was home alone with Aidan the other three times. I can't even remember the "poisons" that I've called about. One time it was Zout, the laundry stain remover. The second time has gone away due to my "mommy alzheimer's", although I remember being in the garage. The third time is a blur too. But I do remember I was to monitor for signs of excessive drooling and lethargy. Neither child has ever needed medical treatment. It's always more like I can almost hear the Poison Control operator snickering and secretly flagging me to Social Services. That's why I remember the number of times that I've called. With each call I was always wondering when someone from Poison Control would say, "That's it, go pick up the Ingram kids."  If you've never experienced calling yourself, they take your name, your child's name & age, and your phone number so that they can call you back later and check on the status of the victim. So Johnny brought Ava to me in the kitchen and said, "I think she might have drank some. You know how she likes to suck on the squirt bottle of water you comb Aidan's hair with."  Well, it's a good thing Mommy has medical expertise.  I opened her little mouth and smelled her tongue. She did smell delightfully refreshing.  "Ava, did you drink this squirt bottle?" "Yesss."  And as a little test, I threw in, "Was it good?"  "No, it was yucky."  Yep, we have a winner. She drank some. Well, crap. I glanced at the little red and white sticker on the fridge. It has the number for Poison Help. They gave it to me in my first Childbirth class. I must have had "distracted parent" written all over me. A very nice lady answered the phone. "Name, please."   Uh-oh, here we go. "Cori Ingram, and yes, I've called here many times."  "Oh, don't worry, ma'am. We don't keep track of who calls. We want to encourage parents to call."   Woo-hoo! I'm not going to mommy jail! As it turns out, drinking Febreze is not a big deal. Might drop your blood sugar a little. But hypoglycemia is not a problem in this house. Ava has fruit snacks hidden everywhere.

The Lost Boy - 2007

The Lost Boy Date: 04/09/2007 So.....in my ongoing quest to be mommy of the year, I lost my son at Wal Mart on Friday. He was gone for 3 or 4 minutes. In other words, he was gone long enough for panic to set in, and my heart to stop. He took off at the entrance while were talking to a friend we spotted. He says he thought that I went into the store. I didn't know if someone had taken him out the front door right in front of me, or if he had gone into the store. Our friend kept Ava while I ran off to search for him. I found him in the toy department (go figure!), already with a Wal Mart employee. As soon as I saw him I started to cry, I couldn't help it. He was in the middle of giving her his name and my name. And even in my crazed state, I was proud of him. He had calmly told her his name was Aidan Ingram, and that his mommy was Cori Danielle. A little more info than she needed, but my brother (the cop) assures me that most little kids can't tell you their last names. So, score one for my parenting, I guess. :) I was still thinking about this incident as we sat in church Friday night. It was an early Easter service. I don't think I needed this experience to remind me of how much I love my son, because I think about how much I love both my kids (and my husband!) every day. But it did help cast new light on the Easter story. I don't think there is any greater way that God could express His love for us than by sending His only son to be killed on a cross for our sins. I've heard that expression so many times growing up that it doesn't really penetrate like it should. But I get it now. It would be do-able to sacrifice myself for another, and do it in the name of Love. But, there is NO ONE that I would sacrifice my son for. Absolutely no one. I can't imagine the pain of watching your son die for others; and to do it willingly? That is a love that I can't quite get my mind around. That is a love worth teaching my kids about. Happy belated Easter. Love, Cori

BFF - 2007

BFF Date: 04/03/2007 Aidan & Ava have become best friends. I know it's probably temporary, so I'm am just enjoying every minute of it! They just adore each other. We went to Lowe's on Monday, and Johnny took Aidan to look at light switches, while I took Ava to look at mulch. We were only separated for 15 minutes, but when we reunited, they had to hug and kiss each other. It was so sweet. We're taking full advantage of their puppy love for each other right now, and letting Aidan push Ava into potty training. We have a "treat box" filled with little trinkets from the dollar store. If Ava uses her potty chair, they both get a treat. Talk about incentive for Aidan! Last week he took Ava's diaper off himself, made her sit down, and when she went to the bathroom, he brought her into the kitchen by the hand and informed me that they needed a treat. Don't feel sorry for Ava. She's always happy to please Aidan. He'll ask her throughout the day, "You need to potty Ava?" If she tells him, "no", he just says, "Okay, that's all right sweetie." Aidan talks to Ava like he's her parent. He doesn't remember life before Ava, and he thinks he's genetically superior for getting out of babyhood before her. He actually told me that he and Ava were in my tummy together at the same time, and then they were born, and then he grew up, but Ava just stayed a baby. I love how the mind of a 3 year old works! Ava's vocabulary has taken off in the last week. She is now speaking in complete sentences most of the time. It is amazing. "What's Daddy doing, Mommy?" "Can I have a couple jelly beans please?" "Aidan is bad to the bone!" :) I can't always understand what she's saying, but Aidan or Johnny can translate. I don't know why I don't speak "baby" as well as Johnny. Especially since I'm with her more. Oh well. Her memory is impressive, too. She "reads" books to herself that she has memorized. She did it for the Parents as Teachers coordinator and impressed the heck out of her! Then she bit me. That's pretty much how it goes around here. Before we can get too big of a head about how cute or smart they are, they bring us back to Earth with a thud. For example, tonight at Target, Aidan was chatting with a salesman, just being as smart as he could be. Then as the man is walking away he says, "Mom, that man is sure old." He was probably 40. I told the guy, "Don't feel bad, he thinks I'm about 100." Luckily he laughed. Have a Happy Easter!

Battle at McDonald's - 2007

Battle at McDonald's Date: 05/14/2007 In honor of Mother’s Day, I have been imagining what it would be like if mothers ruled the world. Or if they could at least supervise the drive-thru at Mickey D’s. I started thinking about this earlier today when I took the kids to McDonald’s for lunch. We went through the drive-thru, and I ordered the usual: 2 Chicken nugget Happy Meals, one with fries, one with apple dippers, and two chocolate milks. The kids were psyched because right now McDonald’s has Shrek toys! Aidan & Ava love Shrek. All was good as I pulled out of the drive-thru, and coasted into my little parking stall to “arrange” their food so they could eat while we drove to Parkville. It goes like this; dump all chicken nuggets and fries out of their little paper wrappers into the happy meal box. Split food up so that each child gets ½ fries and ½ apple dippers. Hide the caramel dip for the apple dippers in the trash and tell the kids they forgot to give us any. Pour the little chocolate milks into a sippy cup for Ava, and a cup with a lid and a straw for Aidan. Next, remove the toys from the bags they are wrapped in and set them on the dash. This provides visual incentive so that the kids will finish their lunch, because only then can they have their toy. And that’s when hell broke loose. The fool who packed the Happy Meals gave me two different toys. This is not good. The law of siblings who are less than 2 years apart clearly states that all things must be the same or darn near equal. Both of my little angels zeroed in on Donkey. “Mommy, I want Donkey! Give Ava the Puss in Boots.” “No mommy, me want Donkey!” Aidan starts to cry, “No Ava, Donkey is for me!” Ava senses that she must be getting a bad deal out of this. Clearly Aidan wants Donkey for a reason. “No, Donkey for me!!!” All of a sudden our happy meals were not so happy. It’s funny how when you’re a mother, the smallest details can make or break your mood for the day. I was mentally cursing the idiot who gave me two different toys----what kind of cruel person would so such a thing? No mother would ever do that. So I did what any good mommy/warrior would do. I put my sunglasses on and said, “Alright guys, let’s go inside and tell them we need two donkeys.” Of course, they both had their shoes off; we had been in the car for more than 10 minutes, so that’s what they do. Aidan put his own sandals on, and he put them on the wrong feet. I thought about switching them, but decided it made me look more pathetic and I needed to elicit sympathy from the powerful teenager who is probably in charge of happy meal toys. I grabbed my kids and marched into McDonald’s to stand in their “oh so long” line. Of course, I ran in to my neighbor. The reason I went through the drive-thru in the first place is because we were coming from the Y and I looked like crap. Isn’t that always how it works? I scouted out the cashiers. A teenage girl who could not be a mother judging by the amount of time she put into applying make-up. A man, (probably the one who packed the happy meals to begin with!). And a woman who looked to be in her late 20’s and tired. A fellow sister! I was sure of it! I didn’t even need to say much to her. I slapped the two toys down on the counter. “I have two kids and I cannot have a donkey AND a puss in boots. “ She immediately understood. “Which ones goes?” I gave her a knowing nod, we were on the same page---I was so happy!, “Lose the cat.” She dug through a pile of Happy Meals, pulled out another donkey, and smiled, “Here you go. Have a good day!” Well, we will now. Another mother saving the world, one little favor at a time! God bless you McDonald's lady.

Night Crawlers - 2007

Night Crawlers
Date: 04/24/2007

There are two kinds of parents: co-sleepers, and those who judge co-sleepers. We used to be in the judgmental category. Now I don't know what we are because it's a slippery slope. Johnny and I start out every single night alone in our room, but by 7am, the four of us are all together. We used to be model parents. Both of our kids are in bed by 8 or 8:30pm, and that's our alone time. We hang out together, watch TV, research minivans on the internet (shut up Adam & Megan), whatever. But about 2 months ago, Aidan started having nightmares. He could never tell us what he was afraid of, only that he was scared. The nightmares started about 4am. We (and by we, I mean mommy) tried putting him back to sleep, but he'd be up again in 20 minutes, and he'd continue to call us in 20 minute intervals until 6am, when he'd then declare his night over and want some cereal. We tried EVERYTHING. We polled family, friends, and parents. I searched Dr. Phil's website. I tried to bribe him to stay in his bed and not wake us. This went on for a couple of weeks before I snapped. I need sleep, and I cannot ignore him, like his other parent. (Love you babe, but this is your payback. And while I'm on the subject, why is he more my child in the middle of the night?) Johnny (and probably Dr. Phil) advocate ignoring him and making him fall back asleep in his own bed. The "he'll get over it" approach. But I am incapable of letting my kids be scared if I can prevent it. That seems so cruel to me. But Johnny is not able to sleep with Aidan in our bed. I don't know why, but I have no problem sleeping with a little foot in my face, or after my pillow has been stolen. And I like to hear Aidan snore. It calms that maternal urge I have to make sure that he's still breathing while he's asleep. When does that end anyway? (Or maybe I need medication?) So to make a long story short, I got lazy. I didn't let him sleep in my bed, but I did agree that he could sleep on the big round chair in the corner of our room. It's almost 60" in diameter, so it's a bed for a little person. He was delighted with our solution. The first night I put him to bed and went upstairs to take a bath. Five minutes into my bath, Johnny comes in and says in an irritated tone, "Your son just came up here and informed me that mommy said he could sleep on our couch." Whoops. Forgot to tell Aidan that in order for our plan to succeed he needs to sneak in after Daddy's asleep. :) But he's got it down now. Sometime between the hours of 2am and 6am, he always ends up with his teddy on our chair. Everybody's happy. Even Daddy has adapted, because when Mommy is getting enough sleep, everybody's happy! Of course this leaves Ava. She's not in our bed every night. But about two or three times a week she'll wake up howling. I usually hurry to her room, imagining the fear that has woken her from such a deep sleep. But last night she did something that made me rethink Johnny's "let'em cry" position. As I'm picking her up out of bed in my groggy state, I said, "What's wrong princess? Did you have a bad dream?" She nodded and cried as she told me, "Yaida (Aidan) took my M&M's." Are you kidding me? If you're going to wake Mommy at least have a real nightmare, like you are lost and can't find me, or a monster is trying to eat you. But don't call me and then tell me that you're fighting with your brother over candy in your sleep. But I took her to our bed anyway. Why? Because I have not gotten a good night sleep in 3 1/2 years, and at 3am, I don't care who's in my bed. She's difficult to sleep with though. She has to be on the outside, and on my arm. And if I move my arm she grabs it back. And if I roll over so that my back is towards her, she'll wake me up and say, "Turn over mommy." She likes to sleep nose to nose sometimes. So anyway, I'm not so hard on co-sleepers anymore. Some parents make a hippie-like choice to share a family bed because they like to quote statistics about how only in the Western world do children have their own bedrooms. But some of us are just sleepy. And anyway, is it really such a big deal? In 10 years I think we'll miss the days of sleeping with little chubby limbs in our faces, and sweet little voices calling, "Mommy, I need you."

Honesty is not the best policy - 2007

Honesty is not the best policy for three year olds Date: 02/22/2007 So, we went to get Aidan's haircut tonight. I should first admit that there is a HUGE double standard for haircare in our family. I only go to one girl, and I wouldn't dream of letting anyone else cut my hair. Ava only goes to Shear Madness because I am a snob when it comes to little girl haircuts. Johnny cuts his own hair because he likes it super short. (He tried to teach me how to cut it, but it always ended up with me in tears, and him frustrated, and bald.) Aidan is on the geographical plan. Wherever we're closest to that day while running errands is where he goes. I figure little boys get their hair cut so often, that even a bad cut will grow out in a month. One place we frequent is the Snip'n'Clip in Bonner. That is now a thing of the past. I took little Mr. Chatty there after our YMCA excursion. I immediately noticed that the only hair stylist not busy was very, very overweight. Not just heavy, but what a doctor would call "morbidly obese". I was scared to death that Aidan would say something about her size. He's never done it before, but I just had a bad feeling. So he hops up in her chair, and I'm standing behind her watching, and the conversation starts. Aidan was very cute at first. "I like talking to haircut ladies, don't I mom? Don't use the hairdryer. I'm scared of the hairdryer." And so on. He talked about the things on her mirror, the clippers she was using, and the whole time I am just holding my breath, waiting for....something. And he didn't disappoint me, though he did surprise me. The very nice stylist had a deep voice. I didn't really notice it. Aidan did. "Mom?" "Yes, Aidan?" "Mom, I think my haircut lady is a man." "No Aidan, some ladies just have deeper voices than other ladies." (I wanted to melt into the floor!" "No, mom, don't you hear her voice? The haircut lady is a man." At this point, I tried to change the subject. She is very politely smiling, but I felt awful for her. And that little stinker, he dropped the subject, but he would no longer refer to her as a "she". He started calling her "he" and "sir". "What's HE doing now mom? Is HE almost done?" I COULD NOT MAKE HIM STOP! I'm trying to make "my child is humiliating me" small talk with her. "So, you can really get your eyebrows waxed here for $8?" The day I get my eyebrows waxed at Snip'n'Clip, people in hell will be iceskating. But I felt so incredibly bad for her! As we're leaving, she says, "He sure says what he thinks." And I'm thinking, I can't even blame that trait on my husband! I just said, "I am so sorry." "Oh, that's okay. Most little kids just ask me why I'm fat." I tipped her 40%. I had to.

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What's New in March - 2007

What's New in March Date: 03/12/2007 What's New: Ava's learned to say her name! Last night she started call herself Ah-va, as opposed to "me". She's also heavy into accessorizing. She loves bracelets, necklaces, earrings, purses, and shoes. Oh, and band aids. Ava thinks her Hello Kitty band aids are jewelry. We go through about a box a week. Aidan has been keeping busy as well. Now that we can go outside again, his mood is improving dramatically! He loves his swingset! I'd like to say that the terrible three's are gone forever, but occasionally he changes into a very evil little creature. Last week he threw a hanger at my eye, (and this is when he was happy!). I just had Lasik surgery 8 weeks ago, so my doctor was not happy when I showed up in is office Friday with a cyst on my eye. "Have you had any trauma to this eye lately?" (I'm not even supposed to rub my eyes for 4 months!) I sounded like an abused, codependent wife trying to explain why my son hit me in the eye with a hanger. "He's a very good boy and he was just playing." That's the last time I tell the truth. People would be far less judgmental if I just told them that my pimp slapped me. At least then it wouldn't imply that I'm a bad parent. Oh well, he's ours, he's wild at times, and we love him like crazy! He certainly loves his sister lately. He takes such good care of her. She was crying after I refused to give her more juice, and he rushed to her side, "What's wrong Ava?" When I tried to settle her down he informed me, "Me and my sister are not talking to you!" I had to laugh. The other new favorite in our house is "Books on CD". Johnny and I are very against too much TV. I think it stifles creativity. And, I can honestly say that Aidan behaves his worst after watching TV, even something as benign as Sesame Street. So we check out these books on CD at the library, and the kids listen to stories while we're in the car. Right now we can barely get into the garage without both of them chanting "Miss Nelson is Back!". They also like "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie". Johnny and I may not get to hear our music anymore, but at least we can have uninterrupted conversation. Oh, be sure to check out our new video clip! They're quite the dancers!

Mommy is not cool - 2007

Mommy is not cool Date: 01/22/2007 It has been brought to my attention (by my son) that I am not the hip/cool mom that I imagine myself to be. Last night, the kids and I were dancing to some itunes (See, I thought that made me hip. It wasn't like a tape deck, or even a CD player!), and Aidan was watching me closely, and he got a horrible look on his face. And I realized that it was the same look that I used to get when my dad used to try to dance to Van Halen's "Jump" with us, or when he sang "Bridge over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel. The look was a combination of pity/embarrassment/and love, because God bless him for trying. And now, my little 3 year old son was giving me THAT LOOK! My first thought was that I misread it. After all, doesn't he know that Mommy, and Christine (Luke's cool mommy), and Theresa, used to close down places in Westport like the Hurricane, America's Pub, and our favorite, the Have a Nice Day cafe, only a mere 7 or 8 years ago? Then I realized that I'm not even sure these places are still in business. So maybe I am uncool. It cinched it when he later referred to me as "old lady". It's caused me to re-evaluate my life today, (and I have ordered more of my Mary Kay skin care products, the anti-aging line.) Guess what conclusion I have reached? Aidan is right. Mommy is not cool anymore. Johnny and I now talk with longing of the minivan that we're saving for, the same way that we used to talk about our sports cars, radar detectors, and sound systems. We are rarely ever out of our house after 8:00pm. When I met a friend for a drink, I ordered a white wine (not a slippery nipple, jack & coke, or other 25-year-old Cori drink). We eat dinner at 5:00pm. We like our parents, (those people we rebelled against a few short years ago.) And perhaps, the most compelling evidence of our turn to the darkside: WE LIKE IT! We are very, very happy being uncool. So happy, that we didn't even see it coming. Matter of fact, I'll have to break the news to Johnny when he comes home, because I'm sure, that like me, he had no idea. In case you're asking, how did this happen to us, I will tell you. (Those of you with children aren't wondering, I know.) Aidan William Ingram and Ava Nicole Ingram did this to us. So laugh all you want Uncle Adam, but your day is coming. It started at Aidan's birth. I remember telling someone, that on October 30, 2003, I ceased to be the center of my own universe. And it continues to this day. Yesterday, while bathing the "angels", someone pooped in the bathtub. After yanking them out of the water by their little flailing arms, I interrogated them both. Each one blames the other, of course. It looked like Aidan poop. (See, when you are a mom, you can differentiate between your children's poop. I could tell you more, but I'm bordering on inappropriate already.) So I inspected their little butts. That's when it hit me! Look what I have been reduced to. Life has gotten REAL, in a way unknown to cool, single 25 year-olds. And it's so much more fun. Being cool can't hold a candle to my kids and our family life. I haven't grown up to be the mom that I thought I'd be, and that's a lucky thing for my kids! So, Aidan & Ava, Mommy's lesson/moral in a nutshell is this: go where life takes you, don't worry about what others' think, make God your compass, and marry someone that you can laugh with. You'll be fine, and happy too. Even if someday, your little son turns up his nose when you're grooving to "Brickhouse".

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Is winter over yet? - 2007

Is winter over yet?Date: 02/02/2007 A Day in the Life of Aidan & Ava 7:00am Wake up, go lay in bed with Mommy and watch cartoons. 7:45am Breakfast, usually pancakes or cinnamon toast. Carb loading so that they'll have lots of energy. ;) 8:15am Get dressed (somedays), Mommy showers. 9:00am Run errands, or play in playroom 11:30am Lunchtime! Grilled cheese quite often. If Mommy & Daddy are both home, they are a bad influence on each other, and we'll often go out to a restaurant! (Aidan's favorite days!) 12:00pm Naptime. Phones are turned off. 90% of the time, Mommy & Daddy nap, too. 2:30pm Snacks, milk. 4:00pm YMCA while Mommy &/or Daddy work out, Aidan & Ava go to Child Watch & play. 5:30pm Dinnertime. 7:00pm Bathtime. 7:30pm Mommy, Aidan, & Ava lay in Mommy's bed and watch $40 a Day on the Food Network. We are Rachael Ray groupies. 8:00pm Bedtime for A&A The last couple of weeks have been a little boring around here. We have serious cabin fever. We found out last week that Ava is allergic to peanuts. Now we have to be label readers, and carry an Epi Pen. We found out by accident after Ava ate a little peanut butter cookie dough and broke out in hives. So we had her tested at the doctor, and sure enough, she tested positive for an allergy! Aidan was very sad when they were drawing Ava's blood. He kept trying to make her feel better while she cried by offering her his teddy. I thought that he was going to start crying, too. Not so sensitive at home, though. As I'm throwing away peanut butter cookies, Aidan says, "Well don't throw all of them cookies away. They don't make me sick." The only other excitement we had this week was the electric toothbrushes that Mommy brought home from Wal Mart. Anything to entertain......:)

Winter Blues - 2007

Winter Blues Date: 01/17/2007 Well, today we visited our first preschool; Language Lane. Aidan won't start until Fall, but apparently you have to sign up very early. Just one of the little tricks that I'm learning as we venture out of babyhood. We've got two more to visit before we make our decision. Aidan had a great time. He was very excited to meet his "teacher". She showed him around the classroom, and introduced him to the different centers, while Johnny and I sat and read a handbook, and secretly spied. Johnny will never like any teacher that doesn't immediately declare our son the smartest child that they have ever laid eyes on. I bet he whispered three times, "Do you think she can tell how smart he is?" He's going to be a lot of fun when Aidan starts competitive sports. :) I'm a little sad, but working hard to change that attitude. It's hard to think that my baby is going to be a big boy----permanently. But if I'm going to get all teary every time Aidan or Ava hits a milestone "first", it's going to be make motherhood kind of sad, and all about me. I'm trying to be really happy for him. I think I'll get there eventually. He's healthy, happy, and growing. I know how blessed we are. And at least he still wants to marry me someday----for now. :) I'll hang on to that right now. January has been loooooong so far. We've all been sick, the kids really want to play outside, and we have watched "Cars" everyday since Christmas. Ava is becoming very chatty. She formed the most powerful sentence of all time the other day. "Please Daddy." It came out like, "Peeease Dad-dy." Much more appealing than her first sentence, "No Mama". Needless to say, she rules right now. ***As if to emphasize my point about the Daddy-Ava connection, last night I overheard the most interesting conversation. And I swear on my Rachael Ray cookbook that every word of this is true. Daddy: Ava, I think you would look cute driving a Jetta when you're a big girl. Do you want a Jetta? Ava: (nodding) Uh huh. Daddy: What color should your little car be? Ava: Peeek! (She means pink, it's the only color she knows.) Daddy: Okay, a pink Jetta. And the license plate can say Daddy's girl, or DADSGRL. Would you like that? Ava: Uh huh. Ava is 19 months old, and her Daddy is promising to buy her a Jetta. She is a powerful little creature. :)

Christmas Leftovers... - 2006

Christmas Leftovers.....
Date: 12/26/2006

Dear Aidan and Ava,

Well, I'm sure you won't remember Christmas 2006 after a few years, but I'd like to tell you about it. We spent Christmas Eve with Grandma and Papa Dan at our house (and Uncle Adam and Aunt Melinda, of course). Christmas Day we woke you up at 6am to open presents because Daddy had to work at 7am. After Daddy went to work, Aidan played with his castle and watched "Cars", while Mommy and Ava took a catnap. Then we woke up and went to Oma's, where we hung out with aunts, uncles, and cousins. And, then we ended the day at Uncle Phil's with the Heffley side of our family. The day stands out in my mind for several reasons. It was over the top, brimming with love, presents, family, and good food! And, Daddy and I had mixed feelings about all of your gifts. Santa, of course, was a rockstar at our house! The long asked for kitchen and castle arrived, along with play food, dishes, leap pads, dollies, shopping cart, and stroller. What we often underestimate though, is the amount of gifts that you'll receive from your great grandma, 3 sets of grandparents, 5 aunts, 4 uncles, and all of the other loving souls who like to buy you things. Daddy and I surveyed "the haul" this morning and felt grateful, but worried. (In case you wondered, Daddy expresses his worry by saying things like, "Where in the hell are we going to put all of this?" But, moving on....) How can we teach you that not every child is as blessed as you are? How can we make sure that you grow up with an appreciation for all that you have? How will you ever understand that the world is not full of middle class white people, when that's the world you see most of the time? Granted, we're not the Trumps, but you two are unbelievably blessed. At ages 3 and 1, you already have college accounts, savings accounts for cars (from Grandpa Bill), more toys than a toy store, clothes, enough food to eat and then some, and a mommy and daddy that adore you and journal your every waking moment! This is where we start to feel a little guilty. Yet, we want all of life's best for you, and would sacrifice anything to insure your happiness. I prayed about it last night, and I awoke with part of an answer, anyway. Luke 12:48 says, "Much is required from those to whom much is given, and much more is required from those to whom much more is given." So far, guys, you two are falling into the "much more" category. And that's great! What a blessing for you both (and us)! All of our blessings come from God, and He wants us to enjoy them. But ALWAYS put other people and their needs first. Always, always, always give to those less fortunate than you. And I don't mean drop a dollar into the Salvation Army kettle. Put some thought and effort into your giving, take care of others, and never ever look down on someone for not having the advantages that you have had. Help them. It's not just nice, or the right thing to do, it's your assignment from God. He has chosen to bless you two in many ways, because He knows that you have the capacity, the intelligence, and the hearts, to reach out to others. And that's your job. Got it?
Now, on a less serious note. Someday, Ava you will understand why your singing snowman stopped singing. Yes, we did take the batteries out and hide them. We really found it grating on our nerves when you insisted on pushing the button over and over, to make him sing and dance. And Aidan, I loved watching you play cashier this morning, and direct Ava around the playroom, while you rang up her "purchases". You're a little bossy, but I love how your mind works.
Merry Christmas Aidan and Ava! The two of you have made this our best Christmas yet.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Happy 2007! - 2007

Happy 2007!
Date: 01/01/2007

Mommy, Aidan, & Ava partied at Rachel's on New Year's Eve until the late, late hour of 10:30pm. Aidan kept saying, "Mommy, my brain hurts, and I'd like to sleep in my own bed." So, we missed the New Year coming in yet again. That's four years in a row now. Oh, well, what do you do? :) Daddy came home from work at 11:00, and we were all tucked in bed. (Happy 28th Birthday to Daddy!) It was a very fun party though. Lots of friends, games, good food, toys, and little ones. It might be the first party that I ever went to where I pulled a Radio Flyer wagon as our mode of transportation. (Rachel lives four doors down.) After two wine coolers though, that trip home with two tired babies and the Radio Flyer was exhausting. (And did I mention I was wearing heels?) I took one look at Ava's jammies with all of the buttons to fasten and thought, 'oh, there is just no way'. That's when the sad truth hit. Now that I'm a mommy, I get buzzed from two wine coolers.
After all of the de-Christmasing we did to our house today, Aidan & Ava relaxed for the first time in the jacuuzi tub. They loved it! I'm afraid I might have started something that they'll expect every day. (Check out Ava in the Family Video Clips.)
The big news at our house this week is that Ava pooped in the potty chair. Woohoo Ava! We really have Aidan to thank. He takes Ava to the bathroom with him every time he goes. I don't know what they do in there exactly, because he shuts the door, but I hear the funniest conversations sometimes. Once I heard him say, "Come on Ava, I have to poop. You can weigh yourself." We have a set of scales next to the toilet. Then I hear him say, "How much do you weigh Ava?" Ava babbles a lot of nonsense back. "Oh, that's good Ava. Good job!" So, with Aidan's on the job training, maybe Ava will be potty-trained by her birthday in June.
Have a great new year!

My Crazy Kids - 2006

My Crazy Kids Date: 11/15/2006 Since several of you have asked, Ava has recovered 100% from her head injury. She never had another moment of trouble. And she didn't have the brain damage that my crazy husband was worried about. I didn't mention it before, but on our way to the ER we passed Ava's favorite place on earth right now, Target, and Johnny said, "What's that Ava?" She usually says, "Tartet". Well, not that night, instead she moo'd like a cow. It was just silly baby "i'm not going to perform right now" babble, but Johnny was like, "Oh no. Do you think she has brain damage?" It still makes me laugh to think about it. She is beautiful though, and happy and bad as ever. You will all be sad to hear that Aidan's imaginary girlfriend fell off of a dinosaur at T-Rex, and was hospitalized. He and this girl do a lot together, and he weaves some incredible tales about her. He won't tell us her name though. We're pretty much not allowed to ask questions about her. The last time we pressured him he announced that she got hit by a car and died, like our dog. It kind of freaked Johnny and I out. What kind of little twisted kid are we raising, that he kills off his imaginary friends? So we just listen to his stories, but don't really comment on them. His imagination is highly entertaining. He also has a farm on Kansas Avenue. We drive by this particular farm every day on our way to the Y, and he points out different things to me, and pretends that it's his. For example, apparently he rides a giraffe around the property. He gets on his giraffe by using his cowboy ladder, which he then hangs on the giraffe's ears. Today he was looking out the window muttering to himself, "I hope I shut the gate, I hope I shut the gate." He also told Uncle Bubby that he'd be glad to be the ring bearer in his wedding if someone would go by and feed his animals for him. Life has never been more fun for us. :) Also, check out the video Johnny took of Aidan & Ava driving through the neighborhood.