there was this sudden feeling of loneliness n lost.
I've finally thought through it.
Its just that I was so much more fortunate at one point in time that when I'm getting slightly less of it, I feel unsatisfied.
yea. I like encouraging myself, in a way deceiving myself! & that's something I actually like. rather than getting emo, affecting others & gaining sympathy fm others. lots of ppl does that n it really is a major turn off for me-.-

♥ 6:52 AM; ____________________________________________

kinda heart breaking.
i put so much time & effort into this friendship.
& yet She's leaving me out just b'cos of guys. wth.
I really don't need so much attention from her friends, neither do i wanna steal e limelight.
I was always thr when she needed me. I always ask ppl arn to give her more attention, & just leave me out to make her feel better. Guess i don't need to do this anymore.
Now her friends are asking me out without her acknowledgment.

On the brighter side, i'm finally more open to dates!
haha. its been very long since i last went on dates man.
all the sweet talks and stuff are crawling in.

♥ 11:45 PM; ____________________________________________

mixed feelings.
i feel bad for everything.
i feel bad for initiating. i feel bad for complaining. i feel bad for not being of much help.
sometimes i feel that i should just shut my mouth.
i'm feeling stressed, bothered, down. get me drunk. so this is how passionate i am. how much i can be bothered by things. i lead a passionate life. thats why i love and thats why i fight..
writing is the only way for now that could make me feel better.

they've hurt your pride. has it ever crossed your mind that you've hurt me?
you are not the only one who has met with unpleasant things in life.
if i were to say this. you would have felt that i'm making you feel even worse now.
or
should i be trying to console you harder instead? because i''m not the one whose pride is being hurt. why make things worse for you. is there someone out there that could make you feel better? am i causing too much trouble?

the higher you climb, the harder you'll fall.
its really terrifying climbing up this flight of stairs. i'm kinda half way there. its only 2 choices. but its tough.

i'm starting to talk crap again. i should really learn to shut up.
shut up joey, shut up.

♥ 8:51 AM; ____________________________________________

I've heard people grumbling that life's meaningless.
There's nothing to do & that you've no goal in life.Especially from a particular person.
Its your attitude towards life that makes you think like that.
My life is pretty much similar to yours but i don't see myself complaining.

I've suddenly thought of this...

we usually plan before hand an itinerary before travelling to ensure you always have a line of things to do & that you won't miss out the exciting stuff there.
it goes the same in life. you gotta have a rough gauge at least.
You may choose to change the itinerary as and when you're travelling if it makes you happier. You don't always have to stick with it. But with it, you won't be afraid to miss out on anything & you'll always have something to do.
You may also wish to go travelling without an itinerary if adventurous enough. Walk around and see where it takes you to. But don't complain if you've missed out on anything when the journey ends. Because you may not have the opportunity to head back there again.
You might consider taking someone there with you as well. You'll then have someone to discuss and share with you of all the ups & downs of the trip.
Its your choice.
But be sure to cherish every moment because you won't know when you'll fall sick or even worse, meet with accident and stuff. You're gonna waste your trip, perhaps your only chance there if you do so.
Many things are within your control. Grab hold of it well.
The journey/attraction may dissappoint you sometimes but at least you have been there, you've seen it & experienced it.
One life, live it.

♥ 8:43 AM; ____________________________________________

i'm not hoping for much. i'll still keep my options open.
part of me sense that you are still not really prepared.
i could see some improvement. Still insufficient though. Enough to bring me through each day for now. Don't lie, about anything at all. I'm gullible. Confront me. I might be unhappy. But for people who know me if i think the situation is understandable, i will forgive & forget easilt.
Guys are guys afterall. they should really have their time to enjoy & experience life while they can.
I could be waiting for now, but may not be forever.
Don't say things you don't mean, don't make promises you can't keep up with.
For my own good, i shall remind myself not to expect too much. Disappointment is tough to deal with.
I'm lucky to always have people around me to listen, to guide & direct me. thankyou

♥ 12:28 PM; ____________________________________________