Monday, October 18, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
该怎么办？
我闯祸了。
我心里很不舒服，很不高兴，很不自在。
还能补救吗？能挽回吗？能有好转吗？还可以和好如初吗？
不能的话，该怎么办？
该怎么办？
给我一点指示。。。一点光。不知所措真得好辛苦。我好想痛哭一场啊！但眼睛怎么办！礼拜天吧。可能出去晒一点阳光，留一点汗，留一点泪。希望心情会更好。希望一切有点好转。
我心里很不舒服，很不高兴，很不自在。
还能补救吗？能挽回吗？能有好转吗？还可以和好如初吗？
不能的话，该怎么办？
该怎么办？
给我一点指示。。。一点光。不知所措真得好辛苦。我好想痛哭一场啊！但眼睛怎么办！礼拜天吧。可能出去晒一点阳光，留一点汗，留一点泪。希望心情会更好。希望一切有点好转。
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
here we go again
sad, this blog used to be updated with happy news! now i realise i turn to this whenever things are not as happy as i would like it to be =(
不知道从哪里说起。。。感觉有点不舒服，有点不高兴，有点困扰，有点沮丧。怎么又会这样呢？
是我不对，我不体谅吗？
即使你不喜欢，有必要有这样大的反应吗？其实你起初的反应我可以了解。。。所以我尝试向你解释。可能我解释的方式错了吧？没办法让你觉得OK. 我该说什么好呢？ “我不玩了”吗？不对啊。。。 说“不会有下一次了”。。。 也有点不可能。有去就high chance会遇到这样的情形。真的无所谓。。。头脑还清醒， 也没玩得过火，真的有必要说这样的话吗?
晚餐时说我也罢了。。。我谅解。可是好像整晚都跟我呕气令我感到好不自在。我开开心心度假回来，肌肉酸痛，肚子饿扁约你在外头买东西。。。你愁眉苦脸就算了。晚又说一些听了点令我感到不舒服的话，我真的有点不高兴。
我只是想让你知道，如果你会容易有这种反应，我不敢跟你聊freely.你怎么会觉得我在怪你呢？！？ 你的语气好不可气， 我听了也感到不爽。冤枉！
硬碰硬行不通。你好像是那种不会容易“让”。。。那应该由我来吗？嘿。。。试试看吧。只是现在我还是不想。。。我已经说了，但 你什么答复都没有。可能你在你的洞吧。
可能下次就让你气个够吧。你说什么即使我不满我也就罢了。你有你气的理由。我就以你的理由反省吧。不是我的作风，但我愿意尝试。。。如果真的不开心那我就想其它的办法吧。。。
but i secretly hope that 在这种情形时，你能偶尔让我这个女人，说一些宠我的话啊！
不知道从哪里说起。。。感觉有点不舒服，有点不高兴，有点困扰，有点沮丧。怎么又会这样呢？
是我不对，我不体谅吗？
即使你不喜欢，有必要有这样大的反应吗？其实你起初的反应我可以了解。。。所以我尝试向你解释。可能我解释的方式错了吧？没办法让你觉得OK. 我该说什么好呢？ “我不玩了”吗？不对啊。。。 说“不会有下一次了”。。。 也有点不可能。有去就high chance会遇到这样的情形。真的无所谓。。。头脑还清醒， 也没玩得过火，真的有必要说这样的话吗?
晚餐时说我也罢了。。。我谅解。可是好像整晚都跟我呕气令我感到好不自在。我开开心心度假回来，肌肉酸痛，肚子饿扁约你在外头买东西。。。你愁眉苦脸就算了。晚又说一些听了点令我感到不舒服的话，我真的有点不高兴。
我只是想让你知道，如果你会容易有这种反应，我不敢跟你聊freely.你怎么会觉得我在怪你呢？！？ 你的语气好不可气， 我听了也感到不爽。冤枉！
硬碰硬行不通。你好像是那种不会容易“让”。。。那应该由我来吗？嘿。。。试试看吧。只是现在我还是不想。。。我已经说了，但 你什么答复都没有。可能你在你的洞吧。
可能下次就让你气个够吧。你说什么即使我不满我也就罢了。你有你气的理由。我就以你的理由反省吧。不是我的作风，但我愿意尝试。。。如果真的不开心那我就想其它的办法吧。。。
but i secretly hope that 在这种情形时，你能偶尔让我这个女人，说一些宠我的话啊！
Sunday, August 15, 2010
it's easy to make me happy
nice nice day! tiring but fun! i like vball. i love steam bath with scrub and massage even more! shiokness.
happy to see you tonight! brief. but somehow it beats all the awkward messages the past few days.
and then i was thinking ... i can be happy if i receive your message first thing in the morning and last thing before i go to bed because it makes me feel that you are thinking about me when you wake up and before you sleep! =) i can be happy too if i feel included in your life and being able to share your happiness and not-so-happy stuff... so don't shut me out? but i will keep in mind to not rush you out from your cave. just let me know that u are entering the cave and it'll be good if you can just poke your head out once in awhile to let me know you are still around!
and of course, i'll be happy if i feel your enthusiasm in wanting to meet me/understand me/make me happy yada yada yada
quite easy right? no?
i wanna do the same too, will you help me?
happy to see you tonight! brief. but somehow it beats all the awkward messages the past few days.
and then i was thinking ... i can be happy if i receive your message first thing in the morning and last thing before i go to bed because it makes me feel that you are thinking about me when you wake up and before you sleep! =) i can be happy too if i feel included in your life and being able to share your happiness and not-so-happy stuff... so don't shut me out? but i will keep in mind to not rush you out from your cave. just let me know that u are entering the cave and it'll be good if you can just poke your head out once in awhile to let me know you are still around!
and of course, i'll be happy if i feel your enthusiasm in wanting to meet me/understand me/make me happy yada yada yada
quite easy right? no?
i wanna do the same too, will you help me?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
i felt shioks. now feeling ... dots.
i tot i could go to bed today feeling satisfied. the steam bath and massage was really good and in the process i kept thinking how good it might benefit you ... destress, relax and chill for a hr or so.
now i have this naggy, bothered feeling. yet again.
is it me or what?
i'm disappointed that you seem disinterested to engage in any conversation. no anticipation of wanting to meet up. bochap about how i'm feeling.
i know that's work is really sucking up your energy and morale. i'm supposed to be understanding. i guess i understand. but i am disappointed.
maybe you feel the same way. well i tried... u are the one shutting me out. =( at least that's how i'm feeling. this feeling sucks.
what exactly are you thinking? i want to give you encouragement, but i really don't feel encouraged at all from how you are responding/not responding. by me behaving the way i am now, do you know that i'm thinking about how this and feeling quite sadden about it?
i did not tell you about my shiokness today. i did not tell you about the freaking fiona who complained to veron about me being a yaya papaya. i did not tell you about sentosa. and you did not tell me much either.
is it because of your job? if so... seriously, i realllllllllly hope your job can return back the energy they have sucked out from you... i am so freaking close to saying damn you keppel. ok i said it anyway. DAMN!
now i have this naggy, bothered feeling. yet again.
is it me or what?
i'm disappointed that you seem disinterested to engage in any conversation. no anticipation of wanting to meet up. bochap about how i'm feeling.
i know that's work is really sucking up your energy and morale. i'm supposed to be understanding. i guess i understand. but i am disappointed.
maybe you feel the same way. well i tried... u are the one shutting me out. =( at least that's how i'm feeling. this feeling sucks.
what exactly are you thinking? i want to give you encouragement, but i really don't feel encouraged at all from how you are responding/not responding. by me behaving the way i am now, do you know that i'm thinking about how this and feeling quite sadden about it?
i did not tell you about my shiokness today. i did not tell you about the freaking fiona who complained to veron about me being a yaya papaya. i did not tell you about sentosa. and you did not tell me much either.
is it because of your job? if so... seriously, i realllllllllly hope your job can return back the energy they have sucked out from you... i am so freaking close to saying damn you keppel. ok i said it anyway. DAMN!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
wah lau!
WAH LAO! damn chor lor but ... WAH LAO!!!
u call me yayapapaya to veron! irritating woman... big fat bully. u threatened me hor, i where got so unfriendly! pot calling kettle black. hmph.
seriously, i want to tua you and play hard to get! we not so easy to bully ok!
if i have authority i will ok! spoil you too much already.
but nvm, i don't mind playing with you. interesting! but just don't create more work for me can?
u call me yayapapaya to veron! irritating woman... big fat bully. u threatened me hor, i where got so unfriendly! pot calling kettle black. hmph.
seriously, i want to tua you and play hard to get! we not so easy to bully ok!
if i have authority i will ok! spoil you too much already.
but nvm, i don't mind playing with you. interesting! but just don't create more work for me can?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
moodyhoodywoodydoodytakgoodykoodyvoodyboody!!!
i realised i can be two faced. i can smile and talk to people even though i feel rotten inside. is this even healthy? actually it was really apparent that i have this "ability" when in the states. nobody but me knew. not necessarily a bad thing really coz life goes on right? but it's scary coz it feels like i'm intentionally numbing myself from thinking about it, until darkness and the free-from-work mode sets in.
Type A individuals can be described as impatient, time-conscious, controlling, concerned about their status, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like, aggressive, having difficulty relaxing; and are sometimes disliked by individuals with Type B personalities for the way that they're always rushing. They are often high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as "stress junkies."
Type B individuals, in contrast, are described as patient, relaxed, and easy-going, generally lacking an overriding sense of urgency. Because of these characteristics, Type B individuals are often described by Type As as apathetic and disengaged.
This is my blog. My space. My privacy. So I can afford to have a me-attitude and be selfish in my thinking. Despite all the goodness in you.. I wish sometimes you will give in and do the pacifying. I wish you will provide less justification and accept the way it is. I wish you will ask for less rationale, less logic, less in-depth thinking. I wish you can put aside your ego. I wish you understand me better, correct me less, encourage me and accept me more... But if my wishes came true, you wouldn't be u... maybe? Hai. Just a little will do lah, maybe I won't feel so lousy.
My you-attitude is activated... but can u sense it? Probably not, if not you wouldn't be feeling the same too.
sians. sleep!
Type A individuals can be described as impatient, time-conscious, controlling, concerned about their status, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like, aggressive, having difficulty relaxing; and are sometimes disliked by individuals with Type B personalities for the way that they're always rushing. They are often high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as "stress junkies."
Type B individuals, in contrast, are described as patient, relaxed, and easy-going, generally lacking an overriding sense of urgency. Because of these characteristics, Type B individuals are often described by Type As as apathetic and disengaged.
This is my blog. My space. My privacy. So I can afford to have a me-attitude and be selfish in my thinking. Despite all the goodness in you.. I wish sometimes you will give in and do the pacifying. I wish you will provide less justification and accept the way it is. I wish you will ask for less rationale, less logic, less in-depth thinking. I wish you can put aside your ego. I wish you understand me better, correct me less, encourage me and accept me more... But if my wishes came true, you wouldn't be u... maybe? Hai. Just a little will do lah, maybe I won't feel so lousy.
My you-attitude is activated... but can u sense it? Probably not, if not you wouldn't be feeling the same too.
sians. sleep!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
it's getting a little challenging.
darn.
i hate it when i have to wait and guess. to wait. and guess again.
if so, then should i ask so i don't have to guess?
........
i guess i'm not asking maybe because i wish sometimes you can read my thoughts without me saying out explicitly. i.e. you understand because you have put yourself in my position.
Ah but then again, the shoes may not fit because we have different feet sizes.
...
But surely the shoes need not fit perfectly ? Even if it's too big or too small, we can still walk for a short distance at least?
I secretly hope nobody, besides you, reads this coz I think this entry is kinda strange. but seriously, i also noted the increased frequency of similar situations... how now brown cow? i'm thinking. and trying to work on it...
i hate it when i have to wait and guess. to wait. and guess again.
if so, then should i ask so i don't have to guess?
........
i guess i'm not asking maybe because i wish sometimes you can read my thoughts without me saying out explicitly. i.e. you understand because you have put yourself in my position.
Ah but then again, the shoes may not fit because we have different feet sizes.
...
But surely the shoes need not fit perfectly ? Even if it's too big or too small, we can still walk for a short distance at least?
I secretly hope nobody, besides you, reads this coz I think this entry is kinda strange. but seriously, i also noted the increased frequency of similar situations... how now brown cow? i'm thinking. and trying to work on it...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
i got my happy pill = )
yay, i had a fantabulous birthday =)
marge, if you are reading... provide you with updates soon! haha Unilever is keeping me busy man! hehe
marge, if you are reading... provide you with updates soon! haha Unilever is keeping me busy man! hehe
Saturday, March 13, 2010
i want my happy pill
i used to be a gan cheong spider. maybe less after softball taught us this: "cool, calm, steady, aggressive, fire!"
but have i become too relaxed? too carefree and oblivious to the realities?
but if i have then i would not be feeling the pressure piling up day after day. haven't felt like this in awhile... but pressure is a form of motivation! so far so good! if i am what i was a decade ago, my taps would have opened. i never liked opening my taps (except watching a good heart-wrenching show, of course!). hmmmm my team mates and coach have seen their fair share. oops, that's enough! (but i swear i have grown under Big Jo's watch).
i think i actually do feel a little better after this! someone/something has dropped me a happy pill? =) i think it might be the "i miss softball-the good old days" thoughts that have chased the blues a little bit! Jiayou leh! = )
i hope we'll have a nice, relaxing weekend away from the hustle and bustle of city life, with money to spend. gah. Another enlightening exchange.
明天会更好！
but have i become too relaxed? too carefree and oblivious to the realities?
but if i have then i would not be feeling the pressure piling up day after day. haven't felt like this in awhile... but pressure is a form of motivation! so far so good! if i am what i was a decade ago, my taps would have opened. i never liked opening my taps (except watching a good heart-wrenching show, of course!). hmmmm my team mates and coach have seen their fair share. oops, that's enough! (but i swear i have grown under Big Jo's watch).
i think i actually do feel a little better after this! someone/something has dropped me a happy pill? =) i think it might be the "i miss softball-the good old days" thoughts that have chased the blues a little bit! Jiayou leh! = )
i hope we'll have a nice, relaxing weekend away from the hustle and bustle of city life, with money to spend. gah. Another enlightening exchange.
明天会更好！
Sunday, February 21, 2010
A quote.
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
--Mark Twain
Apt!
--Mark Twain
Apt!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Why do people have expectations?
Haven't we heard this phrase before... "the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment"?
I kinda agree! So I usually do not have too high an expecation for sth. Anything extra is always a bonus =) Anything less, nah, it's fine with me! I shan't be too bothered by it.
So why den do pple hold high expecations of sth? A symbol of hope? Confidence? Motivation?
I did a search, and found this:
Do you think that the higher your expectations are the greater can be the disappointment?
Does this thought hold you from doing things in your life? If you think in this way, you will either refrain from acting, or subconsciously act in such a way as to bring failure and consequently disappointment into your life.
Not everything in life turns as one wants and expects, but that doesn’t mean one should not try. So what if there is failure? You learn from it and go on.
In order to achieve success in any area of life you need ambition and desire, and when you have ambition and desire, it is only natural to have expectations too. If there is fear of disappointment, you would either do nothing about your ambitions, or subconsciously spoil your chances of success, and then justify the saying that “The higher your expectations, the greater your disappointment.”
... ...
I kinda agree! So I usually do not have too high an expecation for sth. Anything extra is always a bonus =) Anything less, nah, it's fine with me! I shan't be too bothered by it.
So why den do pple hold high expecations of sth? A symbol of hope? Confidence? Motivation?
I did a search, and found this:
Do you think that the higher your expectations are the greater can be the disappointment?
Does this thought hold you from doing things in your life? If you think in this way, you will either refrain from acting, or subconsciously act in such a way as to bring failure and consequently disappointment into your life.
Not everything in life turns as one wants and expects, but that doesn’t mean one should not try. So what if there is failure? You learn from it and go on.
In order to achieve success in any area of life you need ambition and desire, and when you have ambition and desire, it is only natural to have expectations too. If there is fear of disappointment, you would either do nothing about your ambitions, or subconsciously spoil your chances of success, and then justify the saying that “The higher your expectations, the greater your disappointment.”
... ...
Hmmm. Sounds bad!
Fortunately for me, I do not stop myself from trying because I'm scared of disappointment. No, actually I'm not scared of disappointment. I just wanna manage my expecations to avoid feeling blue and gloomy. And yeah, desire... no wonder sometimes we can't help ourselves from having expectations...
Friday, January 01, 2010
It's 2010
wahhh. Thick layer of dust! *blows*
Strangely I don't have the urge to blog anymore! I like to share happy things ... and Facebook is more convenient to share stories via status updates and posting of pictures! If it's sad and too personal I wouldn't wanna post it here too.
Hmmm. Probably will reserve this little space to spill some of my thoughts, if I'm not too lazy. hehe
I just posted an album on Facebook to summarise my 2009! HAPPY. I think it had been a fanstastic year! There were unhappy moments, but overall, still a very fufilling year. Hopefully 2010 will be a good year too! Starting on my new job come Monday, pretty excited! I hope this will be my cup of tea!
In the past, I used to set new year resolutions. But... I never ever seem to achieve what I had set, so I stopped. This year, I have the urge to set them again. Shall 2010 be different? hehehe. Ok no harm setting in writing... I may be more motivated!
Resolution
#1: To stick to my resolutions!
#2: Stay fit and in shape. I.e. I need to pull myself out of the house and get some fresh air. Jogging. Weights. Ideally thrice weekly! Minimum twice a week. One hour each session! If weekdays cannot, I shall find time to do during the weekends! gahhh.
#3: I shall eat what I want to eat. haha As long as I can stick to resolution #2!
#4: To be a better person. Listen more. Ask more. Process more. BE LESS CARELESS. I aim not to misplace anything. Phone. Wallet. Watch. Slippers (lol), Nothing!
#5: To work hard, but not neglecting other aspects of life. i.e. Making time for friends and loved ones! I shall find my niche in this new job, and not feel despair if things are not going my way. I shall ask, learn, assist and do my best!
#6: Maintain my positivity. Sunshine! = ) Nothing should keep me upset for long! Let go. Be open. See the light!
#7: I shall treat myself well. Sleep well. Eat well. Live well. And I shall pamper myself once in awhile without feeling guilty. I shall not neglect my physical well-being. I should really start utilizing my hand and foot cream I bought in US. I shall start applying from tonight!!
Ok I shan't be too ambitious. Seven for now!
Jiayou!
Cheers to a wonderful 2010!
Strangely I don't have the urge to blog anymore! I like to share happy things ... and Facebook is more convenient to share stories via status updates and posting of pictures! If it's sad and too personal I wouldn't wanna post it here too.
Hmmm. Probably will reserve this little space to spill some of my thoughts, if I'm not too lazy. hehe
I just posted an album on Facebook to summarise my 2009! HAPPY. I think it had been a fanstastic year! There were unhappy moments, but overall, still a very fufilling year. Hopefully 2010 will be a good year too! Starting on my new job come Monday, pretty excited! I hope this will be my cup of tea!
In the past, I used to set new year resolutions. But... I never ever seem to achieve what I had set, so I stopped. This year, I have the urge to set them again. Shall 2010 be different? hehehe. Ok no harm setting in writing... I may be more motivated!
Resolution
#1: To stick to my resolutions!
#2: Stay fit and in shape. I.e. I need to pull myself out of the house and get some fresh air. Jogging. Weights. Ideally thrice weekly! Minimum twice a week. One hour each session! If weekdays cannot, I shall find time to do during the weekends! gahhh.
#3: I shall eat what I want to eat. haha As long as I can stick to resolution #2!
#4: To be a better person. Listen more. Ask more. Process more. BE LESS CARELESS. I aim not to misplace anything. Phone. Wallet. Watch. Slippers (lol), Nothing!
#5: To work hard, but not neglecting other aspects of life. i.e. Making time for friends and loved ones! I shall find my niche in this new job, and not feel despair if things are not going my way. I shall ask, learn, assist and do my best!
#6: Maintain my positivity. Sunshine! = ) Nothing should keep me upset for long! Let go. Be open. See the light!
#7: I shall treat myself well. Sleep well. Eat well. Live well. And I shall pamper myself once in awhile without feeling guilty. I shall not neglect my physical well-being. I should really start utilizing my hand and foot cream I bought in US. I shall start applying from tonight!!
Ok I shan't be too ambitious. Seven for now!
Jiayou!
Cheers to a wonderful 2010!
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