Elder Anderson

Elder Anderson reported to the MTC December 4th, and headed to the Gilbert Arizona mission December 17th.

We were lucky enough to get to spend a week with him before he left. Payson and Spencer had a cute little relationship going on. I wish he was around longer, but I'm still grateful for the moments he was around.

You see, Spencer has collected cars from the day he was born, and as it is coming to pass Payson is addicted to cars as well. When spencer got his cars out, Payson was instantly a fan of him.

I also worry about the other ways Payson seems to be taking after Spencer too...see Spencer was seriously accident prone too...still is. Sooo I only wonder what adventure Payson will send us on next.

We stopped at the Provo temple before we dropped him off. I can't believe this kid is going on a mission. He just doesn't seem old enough. I still see him as this crazy little scrawny brother with cute little circular glasses. And now he is serving a mission, and is doing amazing. His letters home are already so different and spiritual. It's crazy. I already miss this brother of mine. It'll be a long 2 years.

The family who was able to make to support during the setting apart.

And Kovu is already missing Spencer like crazy. It'll be a long 2 years for this mutt too.

Existence

Has is really been a YEAR since I've posted on my blog? Wait it's been longer than a year. A year and 10 days. That's like 375 days.

Not that it mattered. It's not like I had any followers. And hasn't the idea of blogs faded? No one looks at blogs anymore. Blogs are no longer a high social trend. It's all about the "gram" - "insta-gram". I feed into instagram, so bad too. How did I get sucked into this horrifying, time consuming, social media. Oh. I know. It's in the name "INSTA". I can instantly take a picture and bam-post it. And the world knows that my child climbed onto my table, to eat my bowl - MY BOWL - of pomegranates.  Oh and he has a casted leg. How that happened, I still haven't figured it out. Bad mommy moment.

I'm full of bad mommy moments today. Those pomegranates, that were mine, that Payson ate...well that's where his healthy eating ended. He then had a chocolate chip cookie, string cheese...times 3, a million pretzels, fruit loops, chips. And I am thinking of pancakes with syrup for dinner. Score one for me. Oh and let's not forget that he is watching "Wild Kratts" as I type, and adding that with the fact he watched Curious George, Dinosaur Train, Elmo, Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood,  and Super Why...well it's been that type of day.

back to blogging though-- I have decided as fantasticly nice as instagram is, when it comes to staying in touch with everyone, I can't type out what exactly is going on in the picture. I suppose I could...but that's not proper gram etiquette. Also there are so many things that happen where I don't have a picture to post. I have also no desire to write in my journal. Well at least every day life. I write the really important stuff in the journal...on occasion.  :) but the blog is super therapeutic.  Even now, as I type, I am remembering why blogging was so great for me. All these random thoughts building up in my head, I'm lucky I didn't explode before now!

Let's be honest. I'm 98% sure that I got back on here to blog was because of my friend. I look at her blog and I have this twinge of jealousy. She gets to express herself.

It's kind of like you guys all have to listen to me rant. And in my mind...you agree. So guess what. I'm back. For now at least. :)

Life

Turns out the life of my blog is slowly dying. It's kind of sad to me.

There just isn't anything left to blog.

Ty's working

A LOT

and I'm hanging out with squawk.

We don't do much, and honestly I feel bad for those who look at my blog. All you see now is pictures of Payson. And while he is so stinking cute, and I do want to show him off. I'll admit, that it is boring sometimes to just look and see a million baby pictures. Heck, I don't look at my own blog because that's all you see.

I don't have take the time to be creative in any of my posts. Let alone take the time to say what we are up to. This is bad, because this blog was my way of journaling, and if this dies, my journaling is completely dead. Maybe I can do monthly. Sooo no big deal that I'm doing the month of October in the middle of November right?

Dang. I need a life.

 

We went to a pumpkin patch.

Mostly for fun. As if Payson even knew what was going on.

It was exciting. We got pumpkins to cave and paint, but never got around to doing that.

While we were there I dusted off my camera and took some pictures of Payson.

I'm proud of myself.

I laugh though. I use my big camera with the fancy lens, that I got 8 years ago, because It's "nicer". But in reality, my point and shoot has better megapixles and picture quality than my "nice" camera. comical. I just can't focus how I want to on my point and shoot.

One day I'll get a new camera.

and a silhouette cutter.

and a food dehydrator.

and a kitchen aide.

and insanity asylum.

but that's all one day.

 

Next we have Halloween.

Thanks to Hurricane Sandy Halloween was moved to Saturday November 4th.

*Hurricane Sandy. We all know it hit the east coast pretty badly. I feel horrible for them. But I'm so glad it didn't make it to us. They (I suppose the weather teams) we forecasting quite the storm to come and hit Pittsburgh. Bringing flooding and power outages. We had some food and water in storage. We had a lot of candles and ways to light them. We also had some flashlights. The problem we were facing was heating issues. I wouldn't have worried so much if it had been just Tyson and I, but heaven almighty, having a child to care for really makes you panic and worry a BILLION times more. Good grief. I swear I'm going gray from worry over this child. Anyways. Ty was thinking about going and buying a generator. You know. The eagle scout in him was coming out. Helping and preparing us, and becoming a "warmth house" for all our neighbor friends. (I think he was even working on a list of most important, --who had the youngest baby-- to how many people could fit in our house) He is amazing. I can't wait until we have the money so he can get all his preparedness stuff and feel ready for any, and all disasters. Not that I want to be around for these disasters...but at least having Tyson on my team, I'll be prepared. We ended up not getting the generator, which for money expenses, I'm glad we didn't. Truth be told, and counting our blessings, we have had worse storms here in Pittsburgh than was Hurricane Sandy brought us.

For Halloween we borrowed a costume from a dear friend, and dressed Payson up as a frog. He was adorable, and he was such a champ he didn't seemed phased by the fact that he had this weird thing on his head and feet.

I took advantage of the changing leaves as much as I could. When/if I ever leave Pittsburgh and the east coast, I will miss the leaves and fall the very very most. Nothing could ever compare to the beauty of fall out here.

The days Tyson was off, we took advantage of that time and went on lots of walks. Again, enjoying the leaves. Oh and the time we had together as a family. It's so amazing and so crazy, that I have a family. That I'm a mom. That we have a little boy. And CRAZY how much I love him...and how fast he is growing up.

Happy Halloween.

Lots of fun things goin' on in our neck of the woods.
Hope Halloween is safe and fun for everyone.

p.s. I did his 5 months "photo shoot"

I am super impressed with myself if I do say so.

Just wait until I edit them a bit. You might be impressed too.

Little Man.

 

Little man

Thanks to Jamie.

Vegan

Payson has an allergy/intolerance to whey and casein.

which is dairy.

Did you know pretty much EVERYTHING contains some sort of dairy.

.wow.

Because of this allergy/intolerance

in order to breastfeed him, I have to eliminate these things from my diet.

Let's just say  I've always, in light, made fun of vegans.

I realize it's totally a lifestyle choice and I've never made light of the fact they choose to do that.

Mostly I have teased about the fact that they have to have "replacements" for everyday things in order to satisfy them. For example tofu.

My thoughts are/were: if you don't want to eat meat...why do you eat something that is supposed to "be pretend meat"?

I still don't understand it, nor do I think I ever will.

However never in my life did I EVER think I would come to rely on the fake cheeses and butters.

and I can honestly say I'm sooo grateful that they are out there.

granted a bit is lost in taste.

but it's better than simply going without.

With that being said, I have caved and started buying the vegan cheeses. I simply got sick of eating chicken that was cooked with a spice, and mexican food without the cheese.

I knew that if I bought these fake things I could kind of relish and enjoy life again.

So I bought it.

and I made PIZZA, and LASAGNA

(Sorry only a picture of pizza)

I still eat meat. I'm not 100% vegan.

Except just to say I have been a vegan once, maybe I should also give up meat over the passover. You know. Just to say you've done that. Kind of like running a marathon, some people do it just to say they've done it...

I'm like a vegan wanna be.

But I can't give up more of my favorite things.

So...here we have a vegan pizza...topped with meat.

Could I get anymore oxymoronish?

 

The verdict?

It wasn't entirely bad.

the cheese is a little dry. I think it's just lacking the grease.

Which, truly, is probably what makes cheese so fantastic.

But thanks to the piled on pepperoni and sausage

you couldn't really taste much cheese.

Here's to me.

Simply for journal purposes

I am in no way looking for sympathy or high fives.

I just want to remember.

Some days are harder than others, and other days are super hard. It's amazing how I could become so grumpy and upset over a simple "change in my lifestyle/diet". Am I really THAT reliant on food? Apparently so. I think I have learned to like my comfort food, kind of how Payson loves to hold my finger as he falls asleep. We come to rely on certain things to bring comfort to us. Unfortunately mine was probably food. Cream of Chicken soup being the first, then probably Pizza. Both of which I have had to go without. Again, amazing how hard it is to have a hard day and just want that comforting thing. Guess I might have more sympathy for Payson when I have to take away his binky or blanket or whatever his companion might be, when he grows up. But again. I can't figure out why I struggle and fight so hard over giving up dairy. There is so many different and harder things in life I could be going through. Maybe food is just my weakness? I use to even pray at night that my milk would just dry up and I wouldn't have to make the decision of quitting, because at that rate I'd have to do formula. But, you may ask, If it is so hard...why not just stop nursing him, and give him formula?  I don't know. I've asked myself that too. Maybe I'm prideful, and I want to nurse and show everyone how "cool" I am for giving up dairy. Maybe I want to prove to myself that I can do hard things. Maybe I'm selfish and I like the time I get with Payson when I nurse him. Maybe I just don't want to have to wash bottles. Maybe I just like showing my boob off...to Ty--since I cover myself everywhere else. Maybe I've figured there are so many women out there who want to nurse but don't get milk in and can't nurse, that giving up on nursing would be a slap in the face to them. Maybe because it's the "natural thing". Maybe because I'm lazy. Maybe because it's cheaper than buying formula. I don't know. I have tried to analyze day in and day out, -why do I torture myself?- but I've yet to come up with a reason, and I'm not sure I ever will. I know from pregnancy I said I'd try to nurse, but my mom didn't get milk in, so I wasn't sure I would. At that rate I wasn't committed to nursing. The more I thought about it, I decided if I did get milk in it I would nurse for 3 months. That was my goal in the beginning, nurse for 3 months all the while eating dairy. I said 3 months because that is what my aunt did, it was okay for her and her kids...So it'd be okay for me. Then when I did get milk in, but I got the cut and things were hard, but then got better, I learned I wanted to nurse. I wouldn't have fought so hard to nurse through that horrible and painful cut, if I didn't want to nurse. So when the dairy issue came up it was a set back. I really had to decide if I wanted to nurse or not. I apparently chose to nurse. I stuck to the 3 months though. No dairy was probably harder then, than It is now. But when 3 months rolled around, I didn't even find myself questioning stopping. I didn't have to reanalyze what I was going to do. It was simple. I'm used to it now, even though I do die a little inside every once in awhile. So far I've been doing this for 4 months. We found out he had this problem after he was a little over 3 weeks. In the beginning I would have NEVER thought I'd have nursed for 5 months. That boggles my mind. But it's so easy now, why quit? Except for dairy. I'm coming up on 6 months. November 23rd would mark the 6th month of Payson's life. 6 months is the researched time period for nursing. You know..."nursing is better than formula, but just until 6 months really, there's only a slim and small difference that shows to a year". Do I believe it? sure, research isn't for nothing. But how much faith do I have in it? not much. I wasn't nursed, nor was Ty. I think we both turned out fine, but I may be biased. My new question is: Do I stop at 6 months now? Or do I keep going, and keep staying off dairy? I don't know. I go back to all my "maybe's". Pride, hard things, have to, easy, lazy, selfish... I don't know. I also want a "back to dairy" party where I'd celebrate with all the girls out here, and we'd do nothing but eat pizza, and cheese and ice cream and just have a girls night, before everyone leaves once the school year ends. But do I want that over quitting? I do know it'll help me feel "okay" with quitting. who knows. Maybe I'll quit come March, and we'll have the party then? I know it's hard for family too. For example when I go visit, and people will "modify" their food just for me? That's bothersome. Don't feel bad for me. I've had plenty of chances to stop, but I didn't. I realize that if my choices are slim, it's my fault. If you want to eat something with cheese do it, I'll have to figure something else out. I could eat dairy whenever I wanted. I don't though. It could be bothersome to them as well, when I ask 6 million times, "what's in it?". But I'm not asking in a condensending way, I'm asking in a "if I eat that it'll affect my child, and I want him happy, so please, if you don't mind, what's in that?" sort of way.  If we talk about it, and we decide together to make something a little different to fit my needs, that's okay. But to talk about it behind my back? Not acceptable. The only person who has the right to complain and moan about what food we eat, is Tyson. He is probably the one suffering the most. He has to eat what I make, and I don't make normal lasagna or pizza anymore, let alone all those mormon casserole dishes. This is my new lifestyle. Plain and simple. I've grown to accept it. I complain...but really who wouldn't? I mean really, imagine giving up pizza? You'd complain too. But I'm happy with my choices. And looking back, I don't think I'd ever change anything about my choices.

food

Payson watches me eat, and eat, and eat, and eat.

Then he sits on our laps and watches us eat some more.

Lately he has started grabbing some food off of our plates.

So we decided to get some cereal, bowls and spoons and see what happens when we would feed him.

Is it sad that our entertainment comes at the expense of our experiment?

At least the entertainment is relatively cheap.

 

He readily enjoyed being fed.

He seriously loved it.

At least he loved the fact that the spoon was going into his mouth instead of our mouths.

I don't know how often he got the cereal.

In fact there was a few times that he pulled a face...I think that is when he actually realized he was being fed something.

It was fun,

It was a mess,

It took F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

 

I should keep doing it.

I know he'll get better the more that I do it.

I just struggle with it.

I can nurse him, and it takes 10 minutes.

Or I feed him cereal, and it takes an hour.

 

But it is fun, how much he loves the spoon.

Gosh this kid will follow in my foot steps.

Developing a great love for food.

:)