Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sodomee Is Back
by TV Smith
29/06/08


Kuala Lumpur - A local instant-noodle manufacturer has denied claims it is re-introducing a failed product to capitalise on a topical but controversial issue. A spokeswoman for Sodomee™ said: "It is just a coincidence. We are revitalizing some of the products and Sodomee™ happens to be one of them".

Sodomee "We however, will not deny that we hope to get free advertising on the airwaves again. Many of our pretty newscasters mispronounced the OTHER word as So-doh-me, thus giving us free mileage previously".

See/hear Merriam-Webster Dictionary for correct pronunciation of the Other Word and also Sex-Lexis for slang definition of sodomee.

Asked if the product will stick this time, she explained: "The original recipe is being updated. Although some of the old staff are still around, we have a new chef heading product development this time".

Sodomee™ was introduced to the Malaysian public in 1999 and was withdrawn from the market in 2004. It is widely regarded as the most famous failed product and is the subject of studies at universities worldwide.

© 2008 TV SMITH

Ubah Gaya hidup !

15 WAYS TO NEGATE THE RECENT FUEL PRICE INCREASE*
by TV Smith
13/05/05


Improve your vehicle's fuel consumption - by as much as 40% - by changing the way you currently drive. There is a catch, though. You'll no longer qualify as a Malaysian driver...

1. Pump More Here & Pump Less There
Don't wait until your car senget one side before inflating your tyres. Low tyre pressure forces your engine to work and drink harder. Driving on underinflated tyres also reduces the life of the tyres. A lose-lose situation.

2. Dig Your Nose
Digging your nose is more economical than gunning your engine while waiting at traffic lights. Jack rabbit starts cost you even more. Never floor the pedal unless there's an express bus looming in your rearview mirror. Learn how to accelerate (and brake) smoothly for better fuel efficiency.

3. Pay It Again Sam

You may be using an alternative toll-free road as a sign of protest or as a means of saving money. If the the old route is perpetually congested and longer, you may end up burning more fuel than the toll saved. Sad but often true.

4. Go Look Stop
Are you one of those who frequently get stuck behind a stalled vehicle, crash into road humps or potholes? If you look further than 3 meters while driving, you can better anticipate obstacles and avoid fuel guzzling start-stop situations. Good reason not to tailgate too.

5. Make Up Your Mind
I don't know if it's kiasuness or indecisiveness that makes people drive with the other foot riding the brake pedal. A slight touch might not be noticeable to you but it strains the engine, wears out your brakes prematurely and confuses the poor driver behind. Make sure your handbrake is down all the way too.

6. Get Rid Of Freeloaders

The less passengers the less weight. The less load the better the fuel economy. If you want to car pool, pool the cost. Clear your boot by removing unutilised items like golf sets, prams, barbecue sets, scuba gear, etc.

7. Bear With Crow Shit
Park your car under the shade wherever possible. The hotter your car interior becomes, the harder the air-conditioning needs to work later, the more fuel the engine consumes as a result. The hot sun also increases fuel loss through evaporation.

8. Stay Safe & Save
Fuel consumption jumps dramatically after a certain speed. Keeping to the speed limit saves you more than traffic fines. Driving at 120 kph, rather than 100 kph, may increase fuel consumption by another 25 percent. The dangers of speeding far outweigh the travel time saved.

9. Get A Life

Stop pissing off your neighbours in the mornings and do yourself a favour. Most modern cars have no chokes or carburetors, so there's no need for long, noisy engine warm- ups. Hard revving a cold engine kills it faster than driving it.

10. Let The Bugger Go

There's no need to catch up with an offending driver just to show a finger or fist. You end up either paying more for fuel or a hefty hospital bill.

11. Learn From Your Mistakes

If your wife or girlfriend says she needs to pop into a warehouse sale for a quick look-see, find a parking spot and turn off the engine. Long idling wastes fuel and pollutes the environment.

12. Don't Be A Drag Queen
Remove that empty showoff roof rack or that ugly ill-designed Ah Beng spoiler as it causes unnecessary drag. Smoking with your windows down at cruising speed also increases drag. Newer cars (except the Juara) are aerodynamically designed for fuel efficiency. Stop adding unnecessary external accessories such as jutting elbows.

13. Meter The Meter
Keep track of your car's fuel consumption by monitoring the odometer or tripmeter. A sudden drop may mean mechanical problems. Timely oil change and other maintenance can save you significant amount of fuel.

14. Try A Different Nasi Lemak

All petrol are the same except for the additives and advertising. Contrary to what most Malaysians believe, you can mix your fuel. There's really no need to waste fuel by driving out of the way just to fill up your favourite brand and redemption card.

15. Get A New Boss

Use online banking or find a better employer. Stop driving to an ATM every hour just to check whether your salary is in.

*Your mileage may vary

I Almost Fainted After Doing It
by TV Smith
08/06/08

We were supposed to do it after watching P Ramlee The Musical on Wednesday. The show started late because of some nasty storm and people were stuck in a massive traffic jam all over town.

It was already past midnight when the show ended. We headed to the National Press Club for some drinks and by the time supper finished, I was already too sleepy.

Yesterday was a more relaxing day. Can't hang on to it any longer, we both realised. We ended up at our favorite place. It was deserted when we got there at around 2 am.

Making sure no Mat Rempit gang were watching, I gently pry opened her moist orifice and inserted her. She seemed uncharacteristically quiet and insatiable. I've been with my baby for six long years and I know how she normally reacts.

During our travel together, we have had our fair share of quickies in all sorts of strange places. But yesterday, we were at familiar territory. Heck, we were doing it at the exact same spot where we first did it. Was that not romantic enough?

Sigh. She's not herself, somehow. I was thinking to myself as I held on to her side; maybe she is still mad I forgot the cap the last time.

I yanked it out hastily and the white stuff emerged from the slit. I took a closer look at it and my knees went weak. I almost fainted. OMG! I just pumped one hundred forty six ringgit of petrol !!!!

© 2008 TV SMITH

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Who is right?

The Proposition

Inflation rate: Calculations are correct

BEING the Department of Statistics' senior director of the prices, income and expenditure division, Kamarudin is the man of the moment.

Q: There are claims that the way the inflation rate is calculated is wrong. What do you say?

A: Our inflation rate calculation is correct and so are our economic growth figures.

In 2007, the rate of inflation increased by two per cent over 2006's CPI of 103.5. But compared with 2005, there was an increase of 5.7 per cent.

In the first four months of this year itself, there was a 2.7 per cent increase compared with the first four months of last year.

Just for food and non-alcoholic beverages, the index increased by 4.7 per cent in the first four months of the year compared with 2007. The highest increase was seen for milk, cheese and eggs.

Overall, 31.4 per cent of the composition of the basket is for food and non-alcoholic beverages, while 21.4 per cent is for household expenditure and 15.9 per cent is for transport and fuel expenditure.

Some of the other items in the basket include health, education and entertainment.

Q: So are the weights allocated for the categories in the basket proportionate?
A:
Yes, they are. We collect 460 main items and 920 sub-items. Using the fish example mentioned, we collect 34 types of fish. I don't understand what other types of fish you want us to collect.

Even for milk, we collect 13 types, including two infant formulas.

We conduct the Household Expenditure Survey (HES) every five years to know what Malaysians are spending on.

The weights used in the calculation of the CPI are obtained from the HES.

There are 12 categories of items in the basket based on the United Nations' "Classification of Individual Consumption According to Purpose".

Q: How do you decide on the weights?
A:
We obtain this from the HES. The last one was in 2005 and we surveyed 25,000 households nationwide from all income brackets over a period of a year.

From the data collected, we found that 31.4 per cent of household expenditure was on food. So these weights decided upon are from the people.

Q: Should the HES be conducted more frequently? Isn't five years too long a period?
A:
Yes it should, but it costs RM15 million to conduct just one survey. So it is too expensive to conduct one annually and it also involves government policy.

Q: Do the weights change much every five years?
A:
Yes they do for certain categories.

In 2000, the weight for food and non-alcoholic beverages was 34.9 per cent, while for the current basket, it is 31.4 per cent.

For transport, it was 13.9 per cent in 2000 and it increased to 15.9 per cent in 2005.

For restaurants and hotels, the figure was 1.9 per cent in 2000, while for 2005 it increased to three per cent.

As people become more affluent, they spend less on food and more on other items.

Q: Malaysia's closest neighbours record much higher inflation rates. Why does it seem that we are isolated from the true scenario?
A
: Among the Asean countries, we do have one of the lowest inflation rates. This is without taking into account the recent fuel price hike.

Singapore and Thailand have different scenarios.

When the price of petrol goes up, their governments do not subsidise the rates, so transport costs there are determined by market prices.

Therefore, the rate of inflation rises. But for us, the government subsidises petrol costs up to a limit.

Q: Do you expect our inflation rate to rise with the recent hike in petrol prices?
A:
Definitely. At least 16 per cent of a household expenditure is on transport and that was heavily subsidised before.

But now, with the revised subsidy system, we expect a higher inflation rate.

Bank Negara has estimated that the rate would go up by 5.3 per cent.

In Thailand it is up by 7.6 per cent, in Indonesia by 10.3 per cent and Vietnam 25.2 per cent.

Q: Are there any plans to improve the HES?
A:
Yes there are, in terms of methodology and coverage.

Redundant items will be removed and new items in the market place will be included in the basket, for example, that of broadband services.

We will also try to cover more households and include a wider spectrum of representation of Malaysian consumers.

On methodology, we are looking at the systems in Canada and Australia and looking at how we can use the latest technology to make the survey process more efficient.


The Rebuttal

Inflation rate: The numbers just simply do not add up!

By : SONIA RAMACHANDRAN and AUDREY VIJAINDREN

WITH a bachelor's degree in economics and political science from New York University in 1973, and a master's in economics from Illinois University a year later, Ismail's accomplishments are no mean feats. More so since the senator is visually impaired.

Q: Why do you say the calculation of the inflation rate is wrong?
A:
When you talk to many housewives, who are the ones responsible for the household budget and who go to the market, they will tell you that the increase in prices has gone way beyond what the government claims to be the rate of inflation.

Similarly, when you talk to those who buy durable goods like washing machines and other electronic goods, they too are facing the same situation.

Prices are no longer the same as in the past. This is due to the input going into the cost of production like transportation, oil and electricity tariffs, which have all increased.

You also see increases in medical services and also in education.

How can all this not be reflected properly?

Last year's rate of inflation increased by two per cent over that of 2006. This was such a small increase. But in the market, the prices of chicken, rice, cooking oil and flour are all soaring.

Therefore, there must be something wrong in the calculation of inflation.

Q: Why do you think this is so?
A
: Some say one explanation is that some of the items within the basket of commodities remain stable because of price controls. So what rises is the price of only some of the items and thus, when the average is taken, the figure is low. But I think that explanation is incorrect.

Q: How so?
A:
There are two reasons for this incorrect calculation of inflation. One is that the weight given to items in the composition of the basket no longer reflects the true household expenditure of that product.

For example, let's say the overall weight for food is 50 per cent, but in the composition of the basket, the weight allocated for food may only be about 30 per cent.

The second reason is that the quality of the products in the basket may no longer be the same.

For instance, you may have been taking the price of fish and all this while it may have been that of the kembong fish. But as the quality of life increases, so does people's taste, and they may go for a costlier variety of fish.

That could be another reason why it does not possibly reflect the inflation rate.

Q: What do you suggest be done to rectify the situation?
A:
The Statistics Department should conduct a thorough study of this again, especially the weights and quality of goods in the basket.

This study is important so that people will not have a cynical view of the inflation rates released by the government.

Singapore's inflation rate is 6.7 per cent. Thailand's is 5.3 per cent. How come Malaysia's is only two per cent?

The inflation rate in all the countries is increasing and it's as though Malaysia is isolated from everything.

Q: Why is a correct inflation rate important?
A
: A true picture of the inflation rate is very important because you use the inflation rate to measure the persistent increase in price levels.

If there is a persistent increase, it will tell us whether or not our standard of living is being undermined by the rate of inflation.

If the inflation rate is not correct, the growth rate figures released by the government will also be incorrect.

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