post 101: i have him

it was just a matter of time. i just got off the phone and knew i had to post this draft i had written almost a week ago. i have been away from the blog land - i didn't write one blog in the month of september. you see, i have been preoccupied with things -

okay,

love.

i think i have been avoiding "the common" because i was initially afraid that the things i was thinking about were too personal to write on the page. however, i knew one day i wouldn't be able to keep love from penetrating my world, even my most personal and individualistic world (i do have a strong sense of privacy, for those of you who know me well). but love has rocked my world! since love, i have felt my need for certain things subside and take on new forms. my blog (thus this explanatory post), melancholy music - they were all venues for my singleness. but this summer i fell in love in the warmest city in the country and my need to have places of expression that fed my singleness began to melt away.

i started to realize that some of my singleness-cravings just stopped surfacing. this person that i had took away those needs - or, rather he fulfilled them. he replaced them. i didn't need to listen to melancholy music to feel emotion - i had him. i didn't need to express my thoughts to myself on a vacant screen - i had him. and now the season is turning to winter

and i still have him.

forgive the personal theme, but i have always tried to be honest in each post and i have to be myself when writing on this blog from now on anyway. and this new love is a part of me now.

so, readers, this writer is

different,
new,
better

happy -

because i have him. and coming from an independent person who enjoyed seeing the world from her own space, this new discovery of another person is profound. truly, love changes people for the better. and yes, Ammon, you can take credit for this because you knew all along what i needed.

couched between a privilege and a pet peeve

to break the ice since i've been gone for so long, i thought i'd talk about something somewhat taboo, somewhat uncomfortable, but nonetheless a reality and a pet peeve. those are always fun, right? hooray!

so, ladies, you know how there are couches in the girl's bathroom in the library and elsewhere on campus? and, guys, you no doubt harbor bitterness about this luxury that we women enjoy. (btw, sexist comment: i feel it is absolutely okay to discriminate against men in this way because men do not have babies - bear them, care for them (primarily) - nor do they experience all other girl things. and boys, you have so many other privileges about bathroom usage - like being able to go in bushes if you want - that i feel you have your needs met.) so couches are good and appropriate in the girl's room. but, let's talk about some misuse.

when you need to run into the ladies' room for a minute, and there is someone just "hangin' out" on the couches in the bathroom, it makes it a little awkward to go. i mean, they can HEAR you. i sometimes want to address the awkwardness with, "hey, don't mind me, i'm just gonna go into one of these stalls here and just take care of a little business. you don't mind do you? i mean, i'm not interrupting anything here, am i?" i mean, really. it is awkward. when you need to crash and take a little napster on campus and you don't want to look uncomely, sprawled on some uncomfortable bench on campus, i may think - sure, sleep in here. you're not aware of me anyway. but, just reading a book, playing on your laptop in the little lounge room. hm. okay, is that weird to anyone else? what would be the reason you are doing this? is there someone out there you are trying to avoid? do you not mind the sound of flushing toilets while you're on your cell phone with your friends?

well, whatever the reason, let us minimize the misuse of the couches given us, ladies. i know they're comfortable, but i don't know if it is worth the discomfort you cause everyone else. and i'd appreciate some sympathy. (and boys if you feel a need to vent, i completely understand and your comments are welcome.)