Hi. Bye.
Click on words to navigate. ^o^
Mitch
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Feeling increasingly frustrated right now...
and i can feel it building in me....
People are expecting something from me again,
pushing/asking me to do the things im reluctant to do....
This sense of frustration is so bad,
it almost made me hit the curb today while driving.... (3 pt turn)
ah! i hate it when i cant concentrate....
i just......... feel a sense of helplessness......
I wish it never came,
i suppose im to feel something abt that issue
it did trigger something,
and it definitely is not glee...
in fact it just point all the more towards the fact that i ain't got much time around here....
i feel like im being driven up the wall by adults... slowly and forcefully....
~10:37 PM
* * *
so unusal, almost like deja vu.
but oh well see how it goes.
1 more wk to aussie,
n damn i haven't gotten anything.
i realli must pull myself tgt n go through the whole application.
Somehow thinking abt it and doing it seems to be very much different.
To be honest, i would rather stay here and work,
somehow, life in australia does not appeal to me anymore...
haiz......
~12:16 AM
* * *
~3:56 PM
* * *
__________________________________________________________________
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
_________________________________________________________________
Later i went to my friend's blog n saw this... haha its funni lolx
~7:24 PM
* * *
gosh.... my fiances are slowly draining away ~_~
Help!!!
Any doners?
~11:02 PM
* * *
hmm... nice chit chat since its been some time since i saw the other two =D
was hoping to get a tan but it was cloudy today...
hmm later went to my God-mother's house,
i realised aunty is really getting older,
i feel guilty each time we talk about her arithitis
its like i've never shown enough concern for her.
the maddening thing is she refuse to go see a doc...
i just wish there's someway to get rid of that pain,
cuz i really understand how it hurts, being someone with similar conditions before.
As usual the kids were fabulous....
going to turn in now with thoughts of marley & shota in my head =x
who knows... maybe there will be a new dog in our family in the future haha....
possibility is endless as long as we agree to let the idea sit in our head and affect our mentality.
nitez
~1:51 AM
* * *
No A, mostly B/ B+ except for Law with a C and i passed with commendation for my SIP
my overall gpa dropped to 3.24...
alittle blue.
but there's nth that i can do rite?
i just hope it wouldnt affect my applications much sobs....
feel so heartpain esp with the slow climb over the past semesters, it feels as if i've lost "2 yrs" of my effort (since i only increase by 0.01 every semester since year 2.1)
but there's nth i can do....
just smile and move forward... hopefully its accepted =x
~9:51 PM
* * *
guess thats the only time i even talk to her....
its odd to think how in the past we use to be so close to each other
now everyone has gone their seperate ways...
i wonder for the current friends that i have
would things be the exact same?
some are already showing signs...
oh well, what will be will be...
i have no control.
Anyways really glad that the mess has been cleared up
pretty much lots of misunderstanding and assurance needed
Been feeling quite tired,
especially now since i've napped for 2 hrs =x
~9:53 PM
* * *
get to play with lotsa kids....
and i guess
for some odd reason its nice to seem them smile and be appreciative of what you do
even if your art sux .... (i shudder at the tot of making Ben10 badges)
anyways i realize kids are so cute!!!!
haha especially when one of the programme is them cat-walking down the runway...
they are so kawaii!
haha anyways i feel like swimming =x
eat so much recently...
definately weight gain.
Going to eat fried mars bars tml with aishya( a new colleague) ...
hmm..... think i shld turn in early... tml is another new day
=D
~10:30 PM
* * *
a possible beauty
a possible pain
what would life be without complications?
would it be boring?
or would it be filled with happiness?
life, without its complications wouldnt be perfect
yet everyone seems to want to do without it.
what exactly do i want?
what exactly can i have?
I dun like to make decisions before its time
i dun like to make decisions when i dunno what i want.
Especally when i do not know what decisions i have to make.
i'm an idiot aren't i?
~1:14 AM
* * *
~10:39 PM
* * *
got a bad omen abt it despite jp's encouragements
hmm anyways went to walk shota and haha the tot of me being a slacker at home flashed in my mind
What exactly am i waiting for?
Why am i dragging my feet in getting a job?
Why am i doing nth abt the applications?
Haiz... haha but to be honest the current lifestyle is quite laid back
the pace is just right,
for instance, working with fantasy parties ad-hoc events gets me the cash when my balance runs low.
Ain't that bad at all i suppose haha...
Pay is good,
and i get to work with kids....
But shld i start applying for a 9-5 job?
to gain the relevant experience?
~5:49 PM
* * *
it was nice =D
had fun, along with the many others haha
Today is FTT day,
hopefully i'll pass =x
sianz
phobia =x
Mitch still have what it takes?
~1:13 PM
* * *
looks like it seems i cant have the cake and eat it too.
No matter what i say or wad i do, u will never believe me
Just like i wouldnt believe u even if u deny it.
like i say. im sick of quarreling
if u wish to think that i'm only happy with them.....
if u wish to think that the only grp i wont hesitate to go out with is them,
there's nth i can say.
I am happy with them.
you just refuse to believe that i want to be around u too despite everything.
Whatever it is,
i'm thankful for all the things you did for me during these 3 yrs.
tks for the first job at suntec,
tks for looking after shota when i was away,
tks for looking after me when i was sick,
tks for being there for me when i was down,
tks for hearing me out when i needed a ear, or needed someone to walk with cuz im bored
tks for organizing the surprise party last year, along with the mini cards and presents,
tks for consoling me when im pissed with my grades,and putting urself down in order to make myself feel better.
tks for sticking up for me,
along with looking out for me and promising that our friendship wouldnt fade.
and whatever you've done that i didn't write down
(This to me, is worth more than anything, at least i know i had a true friend at that time)
whatever it is,
im just irritated/angry that things are 'given up' just like that.
I'm given a death sentence without given a choice?? oO?
i apologize for airing it out in public, i hate to embarrass myself n u
and i hate to have my blog end up like some war zone
even though the blog is meant for me to vent my frustrations. (kinda dumb since a couple of people already knows my blog.)
i realised i've changed too, but who doesn't?
Even shota learns his lessons after being tricked so many times.
I just want u to know,
what you've done in the past for me,
i Remember.
3 years to end up in anger, accusations and bitterness,
thats nt the ending i wish to have.
But i have my pride and i know u have yours too.
How it ends up, i suppose its up to you,
because i've already put my cards down and am ready to leave the table for good.
Seriously, i'm super baffled as to why it ended up like this?
i'm super curious how u arrive to ur decision.
(at this point it an 'invitation to treat' if you don't wish to den, yea i'll pull out of b3 n ppg for good. So we'll just end every possible contact we may have.)
p/s: IF u think its hypocritical on my part. then i really dunno what to say anymore. I did my part, this is my form of giving in. I repeat again, this post is meant for you and you alone. Because i know you are reading this deserted blog.
~12:36 AM
* * *
i guess i shld just pick myself up right now.
there's no time to waste.
So much things to do,
Final Theory Test,
Preparing to apply for RMIT,
What else? a job maybe?
oh yea deciding when to go to australia.
Anyways i've told myself to hold off alcohol for now
I'll consider staying at home more often.
Time to hit the library or the employment agency.
Had funny dreams these few nights and i went to find a dream dictionary (weird huh)
it appears that i'll either have a) good grades b) bad events coming up.
Interesting eh?
Anyways i dream i chased after a primary school boy for stealing some notebooks (paper type you know those with blue covers we had in primary school?) and i caught up with him (which indicated i'll overcome my obstacles)
Afterwhich i dreamt that i'll be fatigue (which indicated that obstacles are goin to happen to me)
Later i filled out a form sort of a statement about the event (writing indicates an advancement in literacy levels, good grades, at this point are expected to come)
So we'll just see what happens to me, if the grades are not good... well lets just say i wont ever go back to that website again. LOL!
~11:08 AM
* * *
All i received is disappointment and accusations,
I now know that i'm a "Pretender"
I now know that i'm a " Meat-Wine Friend"
I now know that i'm an alcoholic with the potential to drink myself to hell.
Letting me go.
So be it.
The dreams have to end somewhere right?
~1:04 PM
* * *
Feeling increasingly frustrated right now...
and i can feel it building in me....
People are expecting something from me again,
pushing/asking me to do the things im reluctant to do....
This sense of frustration is so bad,
it almost made me hit the curb today while driving.... (3 pt turn)
ah! i hate it when i cant concentrate....
i just......... feel a sense of helplessness......
I wish it never came,
i suppose im to feel something abt that issue
it did trigger something,
and it definitely is not glee...
in fact it just point all the more towards the fact that i ain't got much time around here....
i feel like im being driven up the wall by adults... slowly and forcefully....
* * *
so unusal, almost like deja vu.
but oh well see how it goes.
1 more wk to aussie,
n damn i haven't gotten anything.
i realli must pull myself tgt n go through the whole application.
Somehow thinking abt it and doing it seems to be very much different.
To be honest, i would rather stay here and work,
somehow, life in australia does not appeal to me anymore...
haiz......
* * *
Thursday, March 26, 2009
damn i wanna play like her....
anyways tempted to watch 'unborn'
anyone up for it?
* * *
Friday, March 20, 2009
__________________________________________________________________
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
_________________________________________________________________
Later i went to my friend's blog n saw this... haha its funni lolx
* * *
Monday, March 16, 2009
gosh.... my fiances are slowly draining away ~_~
Help!!!
Any doners?
* * *
Saturday, March 14, 2009
hmm... nice chit chat since its been some time since i saw the other two =D
was hoping to get a tan but it was cloudy today...
hmm later went to my God-mother's house,
i realised aunty is really getting older,
i feel guilty each time we talk about her arithitis
its like i've never shown enough concern for her.
the maddening thing is she refuse to go see a doc...
i just wish there's someway to get rid of that pain,
cuz i really understand how it hurts, being someone with similar conditions before.
As usual the kids were fabulous....
going to turn in now with thoughts of marley & shota in my head =x
who knows... maybe there will be a new dog in our family in the future haha....
possibility is endless as long as we agree to let the idea sit in our head and affect our mentality.
nitez
* * *
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
No A, mostly B/ B+ except for Law with a C and i passed with commendation for my SIP
my overall gpa dropped to 3.24...
alittle blue.
but there's nth that i can do rite?
i just hope it wouldnt affect my applications much sobs....
feel so heartpain esp with the slow climb over the past semesters, it feels as if i've lost "2 yrs" of my effort (since i only increase by 0.01 every semester since year 2.1)
but there's nth i can do....
just smile and move forward... hopefully its accepted =x
* * *
Monday, March 9, 2009
guess thats the only time i even talk to her....
its odd to think how in the past we use to be so close to each other
now everyone has gone their seperate ways...
i wonder for the current friends that i have
would things be the exact same?
some are already showing signs...
oh well, what will be will be...
i have no control.
Anyways really glad that the mess has been cleared up
pretty much lots of misunderstanding and assurance needed
Been feeling quite tired,
especially now since i've napped for 2 hrs =x
* * *
Saturday, March 7, 2009
get to play with lotsa kids....
and i guess
for some odd reason its nice to seem them smile and be appreciative of what you do
even if your art sux .... (i shudder at the tot of making Ben10 badges)
anyways i realize kids are so cute!!!!
haha especially when one of the programme is them cat-walking down the runway...
they are so kawaii!
haha anyways i feel like swimming =x
eat so much recently...
definately weight gain.
Going to eat fried mars bars tml with aishya( a new colleague) ...
hmm..... think i shld turn in early... tml is another new day
=D
* * *
Thursday, March 5, 2009
a possible beauty
a possible pain
what would life be without complications?
would it be boring?
or would it be filled with happiness?
life, without its complications wouldnt be perfect
yet everyone seems to want to do without it.
what exactly do i want?
what exactly can i have?
I dun like to make decisions before its time
i dun like to make decisions when i dunno what i want.
Especally when i do not know what decisions i have to make.
i'm an idiot aren't i?
* * *
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Whee i've passed my test =D
Haha lucky too, the girl sitting next to me failed,
i got a little worried and was reluctant about ending the test to find that i failed =x haha
Happy!
All the praying does help afterall =D
Now all that is left is to arrange for the pdl and arrange for the instructor =D
* * *
got a bad omen abt it despite jp's encouragements
hmm anyways went to walk shota and haha the tot of me being a slacker at home flashed in my mind
What exactly am i waiting for?
Why am i dragging my feet in getting a job?
Why am i doing nth abt the applications?
Haiz... haha but to be honest the current lifestyle is quite laid back
the pace is just right,
for instance, working with fantasy parties ad-hoc events gets me the cash when my balance runs low.
Ain't that bad at all i suppose haha...
Pay is good,
and i get to work with kids....
But shld i start applying for a 9-5 job?
to gain the relevant experience?
* * *
it was nice =D
had fun, along with the many others haha
Today is FTT day,
hopefully i'll pass =x
sianz
phobia =x
Mitch still have what it takes?
* * *
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
looks like it seems i cant have the cake and eat it too.
No matter what i say or wad i do, u will never believe me
Just like i wouldnt believe u even if u deny it.
like i say. im sick of quarreling
if u wish to think that i'm only happy with them.....
if u wish to think that the only grp i wont hesitate to go out with is them,
there's nth i can say.
I am happy with them.
you just refuse to believe that i want to be around u too despite everything.
Whatever it is,
i'm thankful for all the things you did for me during these 3 yrs.
tks for the first job at suntec,
tks for looking after shota when i was away,
tks for looking after me when i was sick,
tks for being there for me when i was down,
tks for hearing me out when i needed a ear, or needed someone to walk with cuz im bored
tks for organizing the surprise party last year, along with the mini cards and presents,
tks for consoling me when im pissed with my grades,and putting urself down in order to make myself feel better.
tks for sticking up for me,
along with looking out for me and promising that our friendship wouldnt fade.
and whatever you've done that i didn't write down
(This to me, is worth more than anything, at least i know i had a true friend at that time)
whatever it is,
im just irritated/angry that things are 'given up' just like that.
I'm given a death sentence without given a choice?? oO?
i apologize for airing it out in public, i hate to embarrass myself n u
and i hate to have my blog end up like some war zone
even though the blog is meant for me to vent my frustrations. (kinda dumb since a couple of people already knows my blog.)
i realised i've changed too, but who doesn't?
Even shota learns his lessons after being tricked so many times.
I just want u to know,
what you've done in the past for me,
i Remember.
3 years to end up in anger, accusations and bitterness,
thats nt the ending i wish to have.
But i have my pride and i know u have yours too.
How it ends up, i suppose its up to you,
because i've already put my cards down and am ready to leave the table for good.
Seriously, i'm super baffled as to why it ended up like this?
i'm super curious how u arrive to ur decision.
(at this point it an 'invitation to treat' if you don't wish to den, yea i'll pull out of b3 n ppg for good. So we'll just end every possible contact we may have.)
p/s: IF u think its hypocritical on my part. then i really dunno what to say anymore. I did my part, this is my form of giving in. I repeat again, this post is meant for you and you alone. Because i know you are reading this deserted blog.
* * *
Monday, March 2, 2009
i guess i shld just pick myself up right now.
there's no time to waste.
So much things to do,
Final Theory Test,
Preparing to apply for RMIT,
What else? a job maybe?
oh yea deciding when to go to australia.
Anyways i've told myself to hold off alcohol for now
I'll consider staying at home more often.
Time to hit the library or the employment agency.
Had funny dreams these few nights and i went to find a dream dictionary (weird huh)
it appears that i'll either have a) good grades b) bad events coming up.
Interesting eh?
Anyways i dream i chased after a primary school boy for stealing some notebooks (paper type you know those with blue covers we had in primary school?) and i caught up with him (which indicated i'll overcome my obstacles)
Afterwhich i dreamt that i'll be fatigue (which indicated that obstacles are goin to happen to me)
Later i filled out a form sort of a statement about the event (writing indicates an advancement in literacy levels, good grades, at this point are expected to come)
So we'll just see what happens to me, if the grades are not good... well lets just say i wont ever go back to that website again. LOL!
* * *
Sunday, March 1, 2009
All i received is disappointment and accusations,
I now know that i'm a "Pretender"
I now know that i'm a " Meat-Wine Friend"
I now know that i'm an alcoholic with the potential to drink myself to hell.
Letting me go.
So be it.
The dreams have to end somewhere right?
* * *
About me:
Just a simple person struggling against the currents of life....
Simple Facts:
-> Female
-> Arts Student @ Uni of Melbourne
-> Crappy
-> ?????
Love:
LOVES to Eat!
LOVES to Sleep
LOVES Her Friends
LOVES her love
&
Trying to Love her life
Hate:
Hate is just an emotion requiring some mental tweaking
Wish List:
WISHES that everyone is happy
Wishes for a smooth transition
Wishes for a blissful life
Wishes for good grades & motivation
Wishes for a good career
Memory Lane:
- self-doubt...am i qualified to hang around here?to...
- Got a P for my assignment....my heart literally hu...
- what is real then, if the world is just a figment ...
- i seriously wonder if i can survive till the end o...
- ~Farewell~
- A twinkling of an eye and the third day of New Yea...
- I wished you have more confidence in yourself. Tha...
- NIGHTmaRE
- I wish....
- I wonder if 30 years down the road,i'll still be t...
Trace Back:
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- November 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- March 2010
- April 2010
- June 2010
My Friends:
Alvin
Gek Hua
Hui Ting
Hui shi
jac
Jin Pei
Jo-an
Mastura
Natasha
Miss-queenie blogspot *recommended*
Tatia
Yijin
Heart oF GolD!
Special thanks:
Tagboard