Wednesday, November 26, 2008 Y
Thought working might be fun, but guess I was wrong. It's freaking tiring and guess I'll never have enough sleep until Christmas. I'm so going to get sick with gift wrapping, but maybe ribbons first when I'm going to spend one whole month doing it. Pray that I won't meet funny/eccentric/petty/picky customers, imagine they start a quarrel with me. Best pray that I'll be able to bear with it or cry because of it instead of flaring back at them and pick a fight. This is so going to cost me my job. I'm in need of sleep, type till here. By the way, I linked/relinked you guys who tagged. (:
-&all I ask, was time to flow back...
and I miss you already
8:51 PM
Thursday, November 20, 2008 Y
One word to describe maple today, lag. Might be caused by the new job, pirate but seriously, it is really lag. can't even play properly. Left only a few more days to play and it become so lag for me? Unfair. Either way, lots of people are uploading their pictures, but I'm not. Well, it'll take a long time before I can finish uploading(regardless is it blog or email) and my com goes to sleep before it finishes the uploading. Sorry folks.
I've learned my lesson, never ever put big big files on desktop, otherwise the whole computer lag. Now transfer files...it's way faster then the download speed of course. =D
Going to play maple on MY computer, like finally can play games with my computer. (: That's if I can finish transferring lots of files here and there before I install.
&I need a break from everything.
and I miss you already
1:47 PM
Wednesday, November 19, 2008 Y
Too many photos for prom and graduation ceremony, not planning to upload I guess. Want you photos, come online on MSN and ask me for it. (: My email went a bit crazy so can't really send mail. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
Yesterday was fun! Though I look retarded, but still overall was fun. Mum totally spoilt my mood to continue my post. Shall type the rest another day I guess.
- Everyone are different from each other, even twins. So, you can't expect people close to you be exactly the same as you for there is bound to be difference. Oh well, I won't bother to explain to you, since I seriously doubt that you'll be able to understand a single word that I'm saying.
- You wanted fairness in your life when you were young, so why can't I ask for the same thing too?
and I miss you already
1:21 PM
Tuesday, November 18, 2008 Y
Changed skin, like how the skin was designed. Those boxes are cool!~ xD Either way, can't send email, don't know what happened to my hotmail again. Not going to bother since it'll go back to normal someday. (: Yesterday was nice, had the whole class performing for the graduation ceremony. Later is prom, had to be super not me(implying had to be super lady-like), which should be a disaster. Took tons of photos and I managed to take with QS le. Later shall take with more people. (: Either way, no more outings for me! I'm officially broke! xD I'm really looking forward to see how prom is going to turn out. (: Everyone is going to be so different. (:
&boku ga mitsuketa kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizu tsuitatte.
(ps. it's from bleach movie.)
and I miss you already
12:49 PM
Thursday, November 13, 2008 Y
美夢的終結，
是噩夢的開始。
噩夢的結尾，
卻也是美夢的到來。
這就是夢的邏輯，
也是夢永遠的循環方式。
and I miss you already
7:10 PM
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 Y
All of a sudden, I felt really lost. Didn't know what to do, or whether had I did the right thing. Guess no matter how a person change, the inner heart remains the same. The emptiness still can't be filled in, no matter how I tried. Thought that I've learnt from my mistake and walked out of it, but I just realised that I'm still revolving about the same time. Thought I've forgotten, but the fact remains there, I still remember. The lies, the words, those laughters, everything, I could still remember. I got lost for the first time in my life then and now I found myself, still awaiting at the very same point along the deserted road. Guess I was a fool to lose trust in everyone, a fool to believe everything would turn out right, a fool who walked into the road of despair alone. I lied to myself that no matter what I do, nothing would change at all. Everything was caused by myself, me and my incompetence, yet the truth stands still, I lack the courage to live with no one to lean on. Emotions, killed. Logic, shattered. Life, torn. That was what I did to myself and that was what brought me to where I am now. I'm sorry, I just could not fulfil my own promise to you.
&all that's left, was just a shadow.
and I miss you already
7:19 PM
Saturday, November 08, 2008 Y
Three posts a day, that's stupid. Thanks to my dear friend 'Crapper'. Made me feel like posting again. Thought a lot, through those few sms we sent to each other. It's really different, I can tell. We learnt more, played more during these four years compared to the six years. The process, was different from the past, despite the meaning is still the same. You made me want to cry you know miss 'Crapper'. All the stress is going to be over soon, you know. I can still remember the start of it, everyone panicking because 'O' levels are coming and now, three more papers and EVERYONE will have finish what we had been striving for for these four years. It's fast and this year is going to end. I know, we still got graduation ceremony for EVERYONE to get together for one last time. Some of us are not going for prom while others can't make it. The ending of the story had changed, from what I had forseen when I was in Secondary One. REALLY DIFFERENT. Maybe what Sara says is right, I got to thank _______. If not for _______, ______ wouldn't have talked to me and I wouldn't have changed so much, really. (Fill in the blanks if you want to know who, but don't tag the name you guess down. Can ask though. Don't wish to have the name found in the blog. Thanks in advance.)
&stupid 'Crapper', you almost made me cry. Almost. Lucky you stopped the topic fast.
and I miss you already
8:54 PM
Y
When there was me and you
It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song
Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you
I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you.
and I miss you already
11:53 AM
Y
Screwed up, stuck up, messed up. Whatever I do is wrong, when it's just a replica of him. You didn't scold him, yet you flare at me. What's wrong? Just because I'm a girl, or was it because in your eyes I'm still a baby who will NEVER ever grow up? I have a mind on my own, I want to live as myself, not the perfect little girl that is in your eyes. I know when to stop, but sometimes I just don't want to stop. I wanted to have my own say in my life, which might even be a short one, no one knows what the future holds. I may be weak, I'm not as strong as him, I know that I'll never be able to have the same standing as him. Every single fact, I know. It's just that I want to change it. I don't want to be a follower. Maybe that's why I prefer school, or outside, for I'm being treated for who I am, no links to him, nothing. In your eyes, I'm of existence, but in your heart, I doubt it. Everyone that knows him, expects me to be the same as him, smart and excel in academics, yet I've to assume the role of being a girl as well. You just keep throwing me with more and more burdens, hoping to lift his own burdens when he already has lesser than me. It's freaking unfair. I don't really understand, what do you really want from me. I'm doing my best to study, but you just put me down, saying that I can't make it and stuff. You are supposed to encourage me, not put me down. I feel disappointed, really.
&i'll show it to you, my own abilities.
Tags replied:
Tricia: ty. (: 2 more papers! xD
Huiling: Pirate! I'm going to be brawler! =D
Ruby: yea. but it means school's gona end soon. ):
beatrice: hehe. jealous ar? =D
and I miss you already
10:20 AM
Monday, November 03, 2008 Y
I know I'm a bad girl who ought to be mugging her Social Studies now, yet I am here typing out this post. (: This test is going to determine my fate(bit exaggerating but its the fact though), whether I'll be going to a JC(hope it can be NJC) or a polytechnic(most probably NP's business/accountancy course). Not feeling well at all, might be caused by the nervousness that is going deep within me. It's the first, I'm actually scared that I'll do badly for all the subjects.
Maple's fourth job is coming out soon(I hope)! Should be able to play next week. (: I'm going to relax myself down by gaming! (:
&若雨能把永遠分開的天地給聯合在一起,那它是否會為我們製造奇跡?&i'll let go of everything, including my foolish dream.
and I miss you already
9:31 AM
Macbook Pro(13 inch)
That Headset