All right, I am shutting myself in the house since my mother starts to use her funny imagination, saying that I keep going out with a boy on Saturday. I didn't know that girls are boys. And every time I went out is with different people for heaven's sake. So, doubt I will being going out this few days, but have to on one day, especially to renew the book! I still haven't finish Part I! That really broke my record of reading!

Next important thing, homework. Yes yes, I know! 'O' levels are coming, and we ought to start preparing ourselves for it. But, looking at the state of homework you guys are giving, I seriously doubt that I would have the time to revise!

Sports day was quite all right. Not because we lost, but it was the feeling of being cheated! I will never help to collect water for the whole class again! Its super retarded! The teachers' telematch was super hilarious, though some parts ought to be censored. =D Had CT cheer? It was a complete failure I can say. Can hardly hear what they want, shouting into mike is wrong wrong, especially when you shout, your voice go high. The mike won't be able to project your voice then, so why bother using the mike? And to tell you the truth, Grace is super cute! (Teacher's daughter) She still remembers me since, lets see, Chinese new year's celebration? Its like at least two months ago! Was super happy! =]

I will tell myself, you are not the guy for me ant not linger onto the feeling. Your actions may had cause me to ponder once, but now I know. It was just a helping hand, to allow my smile to resurface for others to see. I started to notice you lesser, and thats a good sign. And I hope, that one day after I graduate, we would meet again, and you would still recognize me and say 'good morning' like the last time. But only one thing will be different, for I will not get charmed by it again. ♥

All right! Tomorrow's sports day and I am going to be slacking while others workout! Partly due to the fact that I chose to be a reserve in floorball! Thought of joining Frisbee and play against JiaEn! But but, no one would be accompanying me in joining in Unicorn, hence no choice. [= Slacking day tomorrow since I will object to playing! [=

Homework? Don't talk about it, since I seriously have no mood in doing it today, especially being angry with the bus service thing. Check the net to figure out where to alight, however, the route actually missed out on one stop, the Hwa Chong stop. Then I was like why 'Direction 1' and Direction 2' is different? I was seriously pissed off by it. But after, lets see, about 2 hours of struggling? I finally figured out the retarded stop that we were to alight. >=[

Yes, I know I am kind of sensitive this few days. Sorry about it. By the way, I seriously think that after tomorrow, I will have no more voice to shout 'class stand'. My throat hurts and someone still called me to ask the class to settle down. I hate being threatened by the class diary! Why do they love to do that? =X

Without seeing him, I feel like a human without a soul. Why, seeing him frown, I feel so disappointed? When he was full of smiles, I could feel my day brighten up for no reason? Is this called crush? If it is, I have to cancel it from my life for he will never be with me...

Today is nothing but a torture. Not because of Monday blues of what. Beginning of the day thought that it would be great(due to personal reason), yet I get a headache halfway through the Chinese Test! Then it got worse during Mathematics, which resulted in me not listening in class. Sad sad, but I really got to buck up for Maths, especially with my mathematics dropping. So, Mitchelle, do start listening and also buck up! =]

Later on training, it was a torture too. There was only two water break during the three hours of tedious training. Two only! Was super dehydrated and the best part is, towards the ending of training, it started to rain. Its not just a drizzle or what, its a heavy rain! It caused many road to be jammed up. Dialed to my dad to pick me up, and he agreed! I was like super happy for not needing to walk in the heavy rain, carrying my heavy bag. Seriously, am I invisible or too 'small' until you guys can't spot me? Please, I am super big size and definitely not invisible! =]

Really felt like crying today, not because of the torture, but because of something else. Oh ya, before I forget, my class boys are really sick in mind, and the whole class knew it thanks to the CE(Character Education). xD

Is it true? When you keep thinking about a person, it means that you are in love with him? No, I can't fall into the trap just yet...

Taking out some time to update my blog, things had been so so so so far this week. Today had training which totally exhausts me out. May get muscle ache tomorrow and thats not good. Skin is now in perfect working order! By the way, I got something to say. One of my teacher scared me out of my wits today by suddenly saying 'Hi' and appear next to me. Its really scary especially when you were chit chatting with your friends. Today's Chinese test sucks completely! The comprehension answer could not be found in the passage at all! All five questions are thinking/understanding questions, which is super kind for we do not need to write very long for the answer. However, there is a bad point which is I will get wrong easily. In the end, I completely give up and is now ready to fail my test! =]

Got back report book today, marks is still quite all right, but not as good as Elise. Hers is mad one all right. She almost got all straight A1s! Only her higher Chinese pulled her down! Super insane! And don't think I will be so kind all the time, I will change according to the surroundings! =]

Yes! Changed skin, but its kind of faulty after amendments to use it? Oh well, music will be included another time. [=

Keep it short and sweet so that we can remember it better. =]

Yes, I know its rare to see me post something today, especially with a Chinese test tomorrow, but I seriously can't get into the mood to study! Thanks to my brother who is playing with his PSP, but at least he is willingly to keep at 8pm since I really needs the time to study.

Yes yes, I know I am a naughty girl who didn't bother to do my homework, but has you seen me owing any teachers homework yet? This means I did manage to finish all by the due date which is good. =]

Seriously, does anyone knows how to concentrate on studies? Mind teaching me since I still can't get myself to study hard, or even listen to the teachers seriously. That's the honest truth. Any kind soul who is willing to lend a helping hand?

And my heart kept still when you went past, without your smile...Do I still misses you or is it just my hallucination, I wondered and moved on.

The 'O's are drawing close, real close to my first paper, Chinese. Others get scared, frightened, but I still can't feel anything yet. Is it because I became numb, or I completely lost the feeling of 'scared'? I can't tell, and neither could I find, the feeling that is buried deep inside me. Maybe, I ought to practice my Chinese as preparation, so lets begin.

或許你們會說現在還早，所以我才感覺不到。但你們知道嗎，一個月的時間很快就會過去了。那時才像在熱鍋上的螞蟻，慌慌張張嗎？我辦不到。那時我根本就不會有感受了，反而會選擇不去理睬它，不去溫習。最後的結果又是什麽？靠不到我的A1，考到C6？我真得不知所措，只希望能回到中二去，不選八課，只選七課。那麽，我的成績會比現在好嗎？我真的不知道。

街上人群，人來人往，他們都在為自己的事奔走。我傻傻的站在此地，東張西望，只希望能向人群一樣，為一個目標而走動。茫茫人海，我聽見了你的聲音。儅我回頭望時，你已為你的目標而走了。

沒有靈感就是沒有靈感！你要我寫什麽？想不到點就是想不到！硬逼我就只會寫廢話下去！生氣我玩？你用腦想一想就好，如果我會做我爲何不做？就是因爲我不會所以沒做！或許你會說，‘小小年紀，說什麽靈感不靈感的。寫一邊作文而已，需要靈感的嗎？’，但我就是這樣。沒了靈感，自出來的東西也不好，我也不會滿意。我有靈感時，我就不必寫作文，沒靈感時，你們卻叫我寫作文。靈感是需要培養的，但在這種環境下這麽培養得出？同時不要整天拿我當出氣筒！惹你生氣的人又不是我！我也是人啊！請你尊重我好不好？要人尊重你，那你必須只得讓人尊重！動不動就亂發脾氣，那時僞君子的做法！我痛恨這種做法，但又能怎樣？我不能躲避，只能承受。你不講道理，卻説得好像自己是對的。你真得很奇怪，奇怪到就算他人多無理，我也不再會生氣，我也不再會發脾氣，甚至還覺得他們比你有道理。我今天會變成這樣，也是把你所次。

Feeling super frustrated. Don't bother asking who caused it for I don't wish to talk about it. >=l
Mood: moody?!

Taking some time to update my blog! Holidays are not like holidays, which were intentionally meant that its free time for us to take a break, but it seems that its even more work for us to do this period of time! I still got my Chinese, Physics and Social Studies left to do. Plan on doing these homeworks tomorrow and on Saturday, I hope.

I can't see the path clearly, its so blur. My sight begins to fail me as memories of you disappear. Is my decision right? I pondered...

All right. I admit. I am supposed to be doing my homework now, yet I am blogging and reading manga with the computer. But you can't really blame me! I can't find the nice SBQ questions thats being posted up by our dearest teacher. I spent three days finding it but to no avail. So of course I am disheartened right? So doing this little things would not really make a difference right? I will do my homework all right? =DD

Plan of the week:
- Monday: Finish all homework(kind of ambitious but will work towards it.)
- Tuesday: Morning go for English Oral lesson, go home and transfer games. Leave house to travel to school in order to attend and support the competition(DANDAN'S!!!)
- Wednesday: Morning training! I am going! =DD
- Thursday: Morning English lesson, followed by Chemistry in the afternoon.
- Friday: 12.00pm starts my physics! =]

Looking at the plan, I am really kind of pack! ='[ I wished I had more days to rest but no no no! Only today I don't need to go school, which means I only have 1 day as holiday and I have to finished up 1 WEEK of homework...thats unfair you know.

Off to read my manga, since I can't play my games. =]

I have waited and waited, yet the hope never came. The pain I have endured in the past, it seems so small compared to now. The future thats been pictured out, had been shattered into pieces. Do you really understand what it feels to be like me?

Its been quite a time since my last updated. Decision is made in heart, not verbally. Yes, school's been tiring. My very last week of holiday had arrived, planning to enjoy it but looking at the rate of change in studying time, there isn't much difference.

Firstly, I have to say is that there is lots and lots of homework to be done! So, doubt that I could go out. Secondly, think that I will have to extend the due date of 1 storybook. Since its used for studying(in a slow pace). Lastly, I found my current way of life which is temporary? But who cares? An aim is better than none.

不知不覺，又幻想他的出現，他回到我身邊，儅我的依靠，儅我的推動力。但這一切，都不可能實現，幻想只會讓我更痛苦，只會讓我想逃避現實。或許慢慢的麻痹自己，慢慢的失意，對我的未來，會有很大的幫助。

勇敢地說出來，讓心裏比較好過。不必再受精神上的折磨，不必再受語言上的控制。或許必須踏出的第一步，真得很辛苦...Its too hard to say 'I'm sorry' to them...

幹嗎用那種奇怪的眼神看我？我真得那麽奇怪嗎？還是你對我有偏見？還是你看我不順眼？說出來，不必憋在心裏。我跟你有仇是不是？我知道，或許是我以前的態度錯，但我已改了不是嗎？你還要我怎樣？說出來，心裏是會比較舒服的，一直憋在心裏，對雙方都不好不是嗎？若能夠解決，對我們雙方都好不是嗎？

Seriously, today's a nightmare. I was damn depressed when I reached school, and yet I still have to smile and face everyone happily. Can't anyone tell that I don't feel like talking, joking or even studying today? Homework, still give so much. Hello? I am a human being who is super depressed in case you didn't notice, and yet you still think I am what, free of stress? Please! I just want a break from all these. Tests, there are many, and its 2 tomorrow and 3 on Thursday? Thats the situation co-currently. So I don't really know what I am supposed to study first? I should start with English, since its my weakest. [= I want to score in 'O' levels for every subject! [=

Today had some sort of a speech competition, except its in Chinese. If its in English, you would not see me participating already. Its retarded! I was the last few to go. Some things happened there but obviously I would not type it here since others told me that teachers visits students' blogs. So... =]

Back to do English homework! [= Must put in my 200% effort! [=

Whats the use of being so obedient when no one would appreciate. Whats the use of smiling when it doesn't telly with your heart's emotion. Whats the use of your mouth when no one would believe what you said. Tell me...

I can't say out my emotions, I can't say out my longings, I can't say out my opinions...so whats the use of asking me to stop running from reality, when you guys are the caused of it? Whats the freaking use? I shouldn't be in there, I shouldn't have chose there, I shouldn't stay in there. I am a coward, a useless coward. I don't dare, don't dare to tell, don't dare to show, don't dare to cry. I am just a weakling. Maybe, being mute is better for me...

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Girl called Mitchelle.
Born in 18 Sept, she was once a clementeen and now a JJcian. Once ♥2B12006 and 4D12008! in CTSS and now `09S14 in JJ. She ♥Soft Toys, Games & Chocolates. She detests noise, hypocrites & lies. Contact her through her Email.
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