its realli been a while since i last had an entry...or it probably seems long long ago ba...
many things have happened....
saw a couple of old frens which i never expected to bump into them...
a mixture of feelings was felt...
surprise...recognition...regret..reminise...
met up with an old fren..
one that we kinda parted ways after an extremely stupid situation..
didnt help tt my parents realli hated her..
n to make life more bearable i decided to forgo my frenship with her..
sometimes at certain pts in my life...i realli did regret doin wat i did...
but i met her again by chance..
at holland v there..
was a tad shocked...to see her n i felt transported back to the days were i was a whole load younger
went up to talk to her later on...n the next thing i knew was making plans for dinner on fri...
after an intensive shopping spree with dear jac...
i totally luv hanging out with u gal!
met up with the other gal...
n sitting there eating our dinner n all..
it jus struck mi...tt things have jus changed so much between us...
we were no longer the same ppl that we used to be..
we like bloody diff..
she's into the clubbin scene..something which i cant relate to..
she's into relationship problems...again..not that its her fault..she jus has tis weird ability of gettin weird guys...
she converses more with chi now...
i dunno there was jus nothing much to talk abt...
it jus felt a tad awkward...
it totally didnt help matters when she linked my arm..a habit that she still practices..
but tis time i didnt feel comfy...n was realli self-conscious abt it...
mayb cuz it jus wasnt the same anymore.....
n i of all ppl should noe better that sometimes certain things r better left to the past..
cuz the constant pursit to the present..
will only reveal...
how distorted it was n always have been....

Florence

After getting slapped countless times...
it's pretty hard to continue to put up with such crap...
n thus sometimes when one realises that it doesnt do one any good to invest so much..
it's better to just withdraw..
n try to be contented with wat one possesses..
i dun lack imp ppl in my life...
ppl whom i noe truely cares n places mi in priority both mind n heart...
but there r also some whom i noe..
regardless of wat i do will never b enough...
i'm tired...
n decided to cut you out of my life...
mayb that will be better for mi...
cuz i'm jus fucking tired...
countless chances have been ignored...
i dun see why i'm obligated to give u another...

Florence

the prey is fed up..
of all the unfairness n injustice of the animal kingdom
"why should i be always the one that is eaten?"
she stands up against the fearsome croc
"i just bloody sick of being the one that is taken for granted that i will always be the source of food"...
proclaims the prey ...n
that it will no longer be the navie one
who has hopefully grown into a wiser PREY

Florence

i have been keeping a lot of things within me n i just cant take it anymore...
thanx gal for meeting up with mi n just listening to mi...i realli needed that
n yes u were right...
i have reached the stage that i dunno wat to tink anymore...
i made a decision sometime ago n just when i was abt to carry out the necessary actions fate intervened n i tried to push it away fr my mind...
but alas the seed has been planted...

i'm starting to question a lot of things...
n it pretty much sucks n hurts...
i keep telling myself not to b a fool n b hurt...
n yet i always do...
when will i ever learn
how thick-headed can one b?
how many times do i have have to bang that god-damn wall to realise its supposed to b painful?!..
how stupid can one b...

had a talk with old pals n thay made mi see..
i guess only u can see through mi..
n i noe u're worried abt mi gal cuz i tend to give my all...
which will probably explain why i get so affected by crap...
n yes...i noe u rather i think of myself n jus b selfish for once..
protecting myself..rather that get constantly trampled upon...
sometimes i realli do hate myself for not being stronger like u...
why cant i seem to do it?...
it hurts...realli hurts to seeing images replaying n pausing at opportune moments...
to remind one of how stupid one can ever be...

mayb i should ur advice...
i should learn...
learn not to b so nice to evryone...
mayb in this way...
the hurt will eventually go away...
n mayb...jus mayb..
i can b whole again...
no more aching n wishing for the impossible...

~some ppl jus never learn despite being scalded countless times~

Florence

the croc advances on the prey
creeping silently in bid to take it by surprise
unfortunately the prey senses its approach
turns ard n stares in confusion
realisin the intent of the croc
n yet offers itself
without any feeling of animosity saying
"i know u want to eat me...so here I am"...

Florence