Its disappointing when the people you love dont see the need to make you happy. Its like a knife stabbed right.through your heart. Its sad because naturally you would expect so much from the people you love. Like how your parents expect you be successful in studies work and life and like how married couples have some sort of expectations for each other. So basically i have my own expectations from the people i love. Take for example my birthday, it doesnt matter who gave me what. The most important thing to me is whatever comes from my 1)family and 2)boyfriend. Thats all. It doesnt matter as much if i got a bag or a bracelet from friends and relatives as compared to getting it from my family or boyfriend. Its just the way it is to me. And sometimes i wish some specific people would understand my feelings. Its been nearly a month and im still not over it. Trying my best to ignore and trying my best to forget but it keeps appearing in my mind. It was prolly one of the reason why some things didnt work in the past. I wanna be with people who will make me special and will think of me, not everytime, but at least during these special ocassions. Im disappointed. Dont know if i ahould bother planning for May. Doesnt seem like the other party is interested even. Feels like im gonna be disappointed yet again. Just like last year. Dont know if i should expect. Once i stop expecting, id just stop loving and stop caring. My prinsip is if im just nothing but an option to you, why would i top you in my important people list. Im not, so why should i care. I can be venting and venting all day long because im just truly and honestly disappointed with the situation. Breaks my heart to know that making me happy is not important and theres like too many reasons to it. Breaks my heart to know that you have to give me so many reasons other than you just wanna see me happy on my special day. Its aweful to know that there are people like this in my life. That your own selfisness and ego is the reason behind all restrictions to making me the happiest girl on earth. Really. Just breaks my heart.

Missus Qeen is DEAD.

Ive always wished for someone to come over to wherever i am at 12 midnight of my birthday and give me a surprise like never before. Not asking, just saying. Have always seen people getting such surprises and have always wished for one. Sweet aint it? :)

Well, i just wish that my birthday celebration this sat is gonna be a blast! I hope everybody will dress up and look good. Coz im gonna do deco and ITS MY VERY FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY AFTER SOOOO LONG!! It must be the best. Coz i dunno when else its gonna happen. On top of all that of course its my 21st. Its another step into adulthood! hehehehe. 21 already u know~ Must be a blast! MUST.

I think im officially getting tired of updating blogs! TSK!

InsyaAllah He'll show me the way out soon. I know He will. I know He'll let me know whats good and not good for me. He'll enlighten me. Give me strength and courage. Bless me with a good heart and clear mind and do the same for the people i love.

May Allah help me in this.

Some people just don't know how to give some respect and you can go fuck yourself. Bloody Bitch. Entertaining you since day 1 was a mistake. Such a bloody ass bitch. Nobody will hire you in future with your fucked up character. No sense of professionalism.

Omg, since i have SQeen blog, i seldom update you Missus Qeen. Thats sad. Coz you see, when you're all business and work theres only so little time for personal stuff and life. So yeap. Exactly my point. I should have a balanced focus. On life, dance, school and business. A tad disappointed because i cant give full focus to what i love doing which is makeup BUT nonetheless, im still happy with whatever im able to do. Its a progress you know :) For SQeen is mean.

So, was looking through facebook when i came across an attention seeker. She's like super annoying in my eyes. Trying to get the whole world's attention and end up looking super merepek. Nonsense. Actually i had no major problems with this "attention seeker" till whatever went on in the past. Yup, can never see things the same way after all that has happened! See how much little things DO AFFECT everything else and the FUTURE?

Yup, so, dun play play!!

P.s. Baby, why do you have to go Thailand?! Change job la! haha :(

Baby! Thank you for bringing me to play kinect! Yeay! I think i can become a game freak with kinect you know. So fun! And after two tiring days, having fun and quality time with my dearest love is like cherry on top of the cake! Awesome la u baby love you! :)

And and and im super happy that photoshoot is finally over! I hope i'll be happy with the photos. A little bit anxious ans scared hahahaha I hope he'll give me what i need.