16th April, Si Ling's 30th Anniversary and Prize giving ceremony, one whole month of preparation that lined up to this ''supposedly'' important day, and in everything i saw redundance. It was one whole month of frustrations.. I don't know why but I just got angrier as the day drew nearer. I remembered I actually went into the class scolding almost every other lesson this week, what a horrible teacher! AND AND AND one unusually disgusting incident happened on wednesday, I was exasperated! Two students were fighting along the corridor and the rest simply stood behind the door and watched on, laughing loudly as thou what was happening is a joke! I had to shout at them to get out the way before I could open the door and stop the boys fighting. As I was scolding the boys outside, the rest continued with their discussions as thou they were giving their critics after watching a comedy.. in my heart i was like '' what the hell!'' I was so affected that I SCREAMED at them and nagged for one whole hour BUT at the end of the whole lesson, they were still unrepentant! OH MY GOD!!! What has happened to their values???? You know, for that whole day, I felt we have failed to teach the kids.. and I began to wonder even, if there's any more purpose for me to be around because I am not able to send the right message to them as well... with this class, I am really clueless how else I can help.
I have been complaining.. grumbling... so much so that i kept falling sick too... UNHAPPINESS/STRESS/UNBALANCE/ and all negative words flooded my mind... I felt like giving up.. I actually reached a point where I said '' I lost my purpose here".. upsetting eh?
I cannot stand a lot of things that is happening around me in school (which still irks me now) and I believe some of you would probably know why. Then again I stopped and ask myself, what do I exactly want? All I know is.. I am not happy now. BUT am I unhappy with what I am doing now? Or am I just unhappy with the things that are happening around me now? I also don't know. Then just like what we always see in the movie, the story would usually make a turn at this juncture. Just as I was getting so depressed and upset about everything, nice things happened!
Of course the first person I must thank is Shafeeq.. This guy is amazingly encouraging (AT TIMES). Thank you for taking time off to come down to the school to help me with the exhibition. Do you know when you spoke to the DDSN, I was really really very proud of you. You spoke well, and I mean it. Mr Wong was standing right beside me and I cant help but turned to him and told him "Mr Wong, I am feeling very proud of him!" Shafeeq, you did a fantastic job!!! I know I have been repeating this like... 10 000 times, but I am still going to say it one more time here. You getting your scholarship is worth much more than me getting my promotion. You told me what a teacher is for! :) Did you know when you told DDSN that you were speechless, I really was very touched.. I never would have expected that after two years, you will still have any bits of appreciation for this teacher who has taught you for only one year. You really gave me a reason to move on. You rock... who says EM3 students must go ITE? You are working towards your degree soon!!!
And at the end of the day, shafeeq sent me a sms that really made my day!!
''before i end my day, i would like to say a gazillion thank you cause today, you make me feel that im someone in this world. you rock ms loo!"- shafeeq
I was still feeling bad that I might have wasted your whole morning, little did i expect this from you... what can i say? speechless...
Then of course, God has been so nice to be that he showered me with blessings every year. In 2009, I had a truely amazing class chairman too. Someone who worked beyond his expectations and always stood by me for the class. If you think I have done well as a form teacher, that's because I had been blessed with wonderful class chairman for both 2008 and 2009. When you gave the valedictorian speech confidently on stage, I listened with pride and delight. You spoke well, better than I have ever expected! What you said has made me wana work harder for the students, especially people who believe in me. And I mean it, I will make sure you do well for your H2 maths since I encouraged you to do so. who say you cant be the next top student for YJC 2011? For the selfish reason of being able to once again feel the pride and glory, we let's work towards making it possible!! Chun Keong, never think that you cannot.. only when you believe you can, then you will achieve, remember our secret? The Law of Attraction! Dare to dream!!
These two are the best pictures of the year! I never ever dream that I can actually take a picture with both my class chairman.. so cool!!! My favourite pictures!!
I struggled with this post for the entire weekend. I got frustrated because I wanted to say so much more than this but I have no idea to how express my thoughts beta. Perhaps, like what shafeeq has said, my gratitude and appreciation are beyond words... but u guys really gave me the strength to go on.. (at least for this year.. hehe..)
Sincerely, THANK YOU.
AFTER MEETING EACH OTHER 
CANT EU SEE HOW HAPPIE MISS JAC LOO IS WEN SHE IS WIF ME AND RAFIQ.
