It's one of thoses days...

Where you want to curl up with a good book and a cup of tea. Today's weather put me in that mood. It started snowing this morning and now you would never know that it did. It was sunny an hour ago and know it looks like it's going to rain. I just started reading my Nicholas Sparks book. I read it at my lunch since really that's the only time I get to 'myself'. I have all his books and this is newest one. So far it's really good. I love this man and he's not bad on the eyes either! :) I LOVE his movies. The Notebook is my #1 fav, even DH likes it. I had him watch it some years bad.

Anyways, work is almost over, only 1hr 50m left then I get to fight traffic home at lest the boys are coming to get me today. So it won't be so bad driving home.

Not much to report today except I miss my nephews something fierce today. I wish I could see them, hug then and talk to them. I wonder how they are doing. If they miss me. What lie their mom told them about me and the boys not coming around anymore. :( It breaks my heart everyday and each time I think I'm ok with it, I know that it's just me becoming numb to the situation. I most likely will never see them again and again it breaks my heart in so many ways. I've never gone longer then two weeks with out seeing them and now it's going on 3 months. I didn't even get to say goodbye...

10 minutes left...

Before I have to go back to work so I thought I'd write and tell everyone the good news...well it's good to me anyway! Jordan is sleeping through the night for the last 4 nights! Only got up once last night and took his bink and fell back to sleep (no bottle)Yay!! He also said Mama(i think) :) i was so happy. I told DH and he said "no he didn't, he's suppose to say dada first" hmmm, I told him Dylan said his name first so I get this one! LOL... It was pretty cool. I was happy.

Not much going on today. Dylan is missing me today and has called a few times. I feel bad for days like this b/c I wish I was with him. :( They get so happen when I come home it makes my heart break. I love our weekends together though and in less then a week my baby will be 1 yrs old...how did that happen? How did time fly so fast? I still do not know where or what we are doing for his birthday. Ugh, I so was not prepared for this. I know that sounds funny but it just snuck up on us.

Well I gotta get going but I'm so happy to be back blogging again~ :)

Why bother???

To clean if people are not going to respect the fact that you clean their house for the last two days(because it took that long) and go mess it up? We all know i'm staying with my in-laws and they don't exactly have the same idea's of house keeping as DH and I do(basically keeping things clean) so we (DH & I) spent all weekend cleaning, two hours after we were done...the kitchen was a wreck and the living room was shot to hell. My SIL came over with her kids(she's the one that sucks as a mom) and let them run flippin wild. I wanted to scream!!! The house has never been so clean and not even a thank you or anything from anymore!!! We did it mostly for our kids but still it's suppose to be my other SIL's job not ours. We clean our stuff(dishes, pick up after the kids) but we did it all. DH even cleaned the back room. It's was totally gross. He cleaned it, swiffered, decobweb, cleaned up dirt you name it is was back there. And no one said anything. They are so damn ungrateful. They are very selfish and it's not like they live in a great house so anything is improvement. I even washed the curtains that having been taken down in maybe 8 yrs and washed them. Why do I bother you may ask...cause my kids are there but I do know one thing once DH and I leave, we will never be back. Ever if I could pull it off. But if not for at least a year. Ok well enough ranting...

On a better note, Jordan walked for me...he's defiantly going to be my "if I want to, when I want to" kid. He will only do it when he feels like it. Last night he was having a hard night sleeping so before we went to bed DH brought him in bed with us and he slept with us for the first time like a big boy. When he was little he would sleep with me but this time I didn't have to monitor him too much. It was pretty great! :)

Well it's raining here today. I'm so ready for it to go away. Now don't get me wrong because I love the rain but ever since I had kids I don't like it as much. I can't take them outside which they love to be outside. I'm ready for spring to come. I'm not too much of a summer person, I wish it would stay in the 70's and I'd be ahppy but i am lucky that it only gets in the 90-100's in August and that only last a few weeks.

I gotta share this with you all...the last few days Dylan has been falling asleep on the floor. I finally got to get some pictures and I'll share them too but it's too cute. He's been falling asleep next to Jordan's crib so I'm not sure what that means exactly or if that's just where he's falling asleep or if it's on purpose. None the less it's pretty darn cute!

So I got the papers...

For my court date with by ex-bff. It's again almost funny. We won't even be going to court until May. I really hope this was worth it to her. I will be so happy to be done with her!

So I am learning how to 'trick' out my Blogger page and I think I've figured it out. It doesn't look too bad does it? :) Surprisingly I don't have much to say. I miss my boys a ton today. I wish I was with them and envy all SAHM's. To be with my kids would be great instead of taking care of 11 grown women. Ya know.

We're going to my mom this weekend so DH will get some down time. I don't get it...he thinks that cause I go to work that it's my "away" time. I take the kids to my moms so he can have some down time b/c he has them all week but I never get that! When I get home, he's 'off'. On the weekends we do it together though I think I do more b/c he knows I'm home and when I'm on vacation from work, he's on vacation from 'work'. I never get time to myself let alone two days with out kids!!!! My mom wants to take me camping and I told her I didn't know b/c I would be leaving the kids with DH for two day after having for the week. I know he enjoys having time to himself I guess I wish that sometimes he would think about me and think maybe I would like some time to myself. Is that too much to ask?We don't even get time together because we don't have anyone to watch our kids and my mom lives 1.5hrs away. I'm hoping she'll be up to taking the kids for a night for our anniversary. Oh well. It is what it is.

All I can do is LOL

So today I got a letter from the TV show Judge Alex, they want my ex-bff and I to appre on their show! How flipping crazy is that. This stupid woman has made my life crazy. They found our names in the small claims court in our area and sent this to me at work! I couldn't believe it. I still can't all I can do is laugh! I can't wait until this is all over ugh!!!

On a lighter note, you wanna know what the best thing in the world is??? When I come hope from work and Dylan runs screaming 'mommies home to see me, i missed today mommy, you come home to see me' and he runs and jumps in my arms and gives me the biggest hug ever! Then I see Jordan and he gets so excited that he can't keep up with his movment trying to get to me. He's happy and laughing. Trying to walk over to me. It's the best. It makes the long drive home worth it. :)

I really want Spring/Summer to come. I'm tired of the cold and rain. I want to take the kids to the park without having to bundle them up and have runny noses! I'm ready for warm walks at night with a slight breeze. I playing in the fountain in town. I day dream at work out our own place and unpacking all my stuff. You never really realize how much you take advantage of your own place until you don't have it anymore. I vow so many things when we move out. Things I took for granted when we had our own place. It feels like being barried alive living with my in-laws. We are so different and I mean that!!!! Our thoughts on life, kids and just over all living. My SIL last night said the F-word 12 times in front of her kids in just a few sentences. How bad is that? She just doesn't care and if you tell her, she'll just do it more!!! That is the kind of people they are!

Ok enough ranting for the moment. I gotta get some work done!

Does everything really happen for a reason?

That's the question I ask myself often. Only because I've had a lot of stuff happen to me that I don't understand and yet something comes out of it later on down the road. Honestly thought do I REALLY need to go through so much crap just to see the 'lesson'? I've lost my supposed best friends and nephews b/c she's crazy and suing me. The story is long and detaild so it doesn't do me any good to tell it, but I don't understand her. She's gotten everything back that she's suing me for and more. All because I wasn't going to be home when she wanted her stuff back. If someone is really your friend of 10 yrs would it really come down to that? Our old daycare person is still owed money by us and we still plan on paying her and yet she's not suing me?! Go figure. It's hard but I'm dealing. I've had to morn the loss of my nephews so to speak. She took them away b/c she could and she knew what would hurt me the most.

Life with the in-laws is hell. We spend more money now then when we were stuggling on our own. It's not even on cool stuff it's on food and such because we refuse to cook in that environment. We spend money at a laundry mat b/c they refuse to get theirs fixed. That's like $40 bucks a week!!!! We are hoping to get out in the next 2-4 wks. I can't take it anymore, I WANT MY OWN PLACE AGAIN! Lessons where learned here, for DH more then me. Now I've learned mine but this was big for him. As most know he hasn't always had it together, hence why we are where we are! This is big for him and having to be a SAHD b/c he 'didn't' find work. This is his rock bottom as well as mine. I've learned what needs to change and surprisingly it saved our marriage. Crazy huh?! We had to work together to make it here(at his parents) He's always struggle not to be better then them(better meaning 'normal' life not poverty). He thought that it wasn't ok to want more b/c they never taught him to want more. I've tried for years to get him to see what i see and now he does. I know it's hard to realize that your family isn't what you thought it was but when they call your wife fancy because she like a clean house and not curse in front of her kids...come on people!!!! My SIL has two kids one with disability that will never get the help he needs b/c she doesn't do what is needed for him. She's lazy. Her daughter is going to be 5 and isn't potty trained...yes I said 5 shes suppose to start school in Sept...that's not going to happen. Because she has a lazy mom. Oh I could go on but that's not why I'm writing or maybe it is. I needed an outlet. These people drive me nuts!!!!

Ok I have to get back to work...it's sure nice to be back here again! :)

Just when one things starting going right...

something else falls... It's been awhile since I have been able to write on here :( but I have some stuff on my mind that I need to get off.
I have been friends is this person, lets call her C for 10.5 yrs, we've had our ups and downs it's been more like a twisted relationship then a friends ship but anyway, she had 2 boys who are my nephews and are as important to me as my own kids. I have been there through every thing and even help if not raised them the first few years of their lives. I have a very special bond with the oldest and a different bond with the youngest. It a very cool mixture. I use to date her brother some years back (in between DH and I not being together) and in the end of that relationship he ended up cheating on me with a girl who ended up becoming his wife. I know! Anyways, it took me a long time to adjust to this because I was always around I would have to adjust at some point, I wasn't going anywhere and obviously neither was she. There's my problem over the year he has become close with my nephews and it kills me inside, now they do not have kids at the moment so they are able to do a lot more things then I am b/c I have kids. Now that I have moved to WA (for the moment) and they moved literally 1 min away from my friends house she gets to see them all the time... I mean she puts them up on her Facebook account and says things like "my favorite boys" or crap like that. The other part that I hate it that I would never show my nephews that i didn't like her or anything like that but it still kills me inside when I see them together. They are innocent but when they hug her or see take pictures with her it just kills me inside. I went from being so involved in everything with them and the family to becoming in outsider. :( Oh my heart aches. So now I have to figure out how to adjust myself to this new way... oh how I wish I didn't.