morning lights;

I think I barely slept last nights. The dark circles under my eyes are so prominent now, it's scary. I actually took a nap around 10.20 p.m. and the next thing I knew was waking up at 11.30 and freaking out because I hadn't done my Ed Board layouts that were due today. So, stayed up till 2.30 in the morning to finish them with Julian saying "Gambateh, Laine!!" every 5 minutes till 1 something when I told him to go to bed. Lol.

Finally got back all results. The last paper we got back was Chem, and that was today. Once again, comparatively very bad. I only know that Erin's and Ian's overall percentages is like waaayyy above mine and about 5-10 more people are higher than me too. Haven't told my parents any of my marks and when they asked bout them a few days back, I lied and said that our teachers are busy with preparations for Sports' Day. Yes, I happen to know I am so screwed.

And yes, tomorrow is Sports' Day. I qualified for the 100 meter and 200 meter races. I'm also running 4 by 100 meters with Aileen, Hamizah and Yee Vonne or Amirah Najwa. Compared the times recorded and although I am one of the fastest runners in Shirtliff, I think I was slower than most of the people who qualified for the finals tomorrow by.. milliseconds?! Damn. .I.just.don't.want.to.run.tomorrow.

Yes, Ed Board is driving me nuts too. Layouts, layouts, layouts, layouts.. And now there's the photo shoot and layout for the Ed Board and Prefectorial Board with deadlines that are choking.

Parents are very, very, very, non-understanding.
And of course, stuff that are too private to post in a public blog.

I honestly don't know what the hell is keeping me sane. I honestly don't know what the hell is keeping me from just hanging myself or something. I honestly don't know what the hell is stopping me from giving up.


Okay, okay, sorry you people have to read all this crap. Read bout less depressing stuff now.
Check out what I got in the afternoon with my sister just now! ( Of course it's eaten by now. X] )

From Secret Recipie!
Called Durian Durian. <333>

AND....

Nyahahahaha!
Am I aiming to become humongous or what? >.<

So yeah, Sports' Day tomorrow. If you see me, wish me luck, cause I'm gonna need it.
Tatah.
; (


Because what I am going to do is going to be for you.

Okay, okay, I know I have been neglecting my blog, but I really haven't been feeling up to blogging recently. Too lazy, or too patah semangat, or too tired, or whatever. Lol.

So what updates? Hmm. Let me think. Got back most of my results and they comparatively suck. Especially when I have to compete with 34 other brilliant geniuses in 4 Alpha? Sigh, whatever it is, I know I ain't top 10 this time round. First time ever, but. I don't even know if I should care.

Went for badminton competition yesterday and the day before yesterday. Okay, we sucked. We lost. I had to play singles against Tsun Jinn for crying out loud. I am so not stating the score, it was embarrassing. Haha. Then, Mel and I lost to Cochrane for doubles and I swear we could've won but we made a lot of silly mistakes. Gaahhh. Oh well.

Tarik tali yesterday was awesome. ; )

Had lompat tinggi on Tuesday after the competition. Tried to jump over 125 cm but failed. In the end, Bevv got the gold medal at the height of 130 cm and Nicole and I had to recompete for silver. They were lowered it down to 123 cm instead and I managed to jump over the first time I tried but at the very last second, the stupid pole fell and I have no idea why. Then I couldn't jump anymore for the next two tries. Nicole passed the second time she tried, so she got silver. *clap clap* But my mistake was still stupid. Puan Lim said I didn't sprint before jumping. And she's right, I guess.

Had saringan on Monday. Ran 100 m and 200 m and got 3rd for both events. And I lost by thaaaatt little. Damn. ; (

Well, still got tons to do, and life isn't getting any better, so screw the world.
; )

Born on this day 16 years ago, Tuang Hon Weng is taking Form 5 despite the fact that he is only 16 years old today. He was in private school, so he started early. So, he is really just our age, fellow Form 4s! ; ) Always ready to listen and make silly jokes that are bound to make you laugh, Hon Weng is a great friend who won't stop anything to have fun. Hear that, Hon Weng? Behave. XD

Anyway.

Had this weird Smart School test thing today. It was so hillarious. Hahaha.

Contoh soalan :
Sila tandakan (√) pada pernyataan yang lebih menerangkan diri anda.
- Suka bercakap banyak.
- Suka mengasingkan diri.

*picks up pencil and ticks "suka bercakap banyak" without thinking twice*

HAHA.
It was so stupid.
We ate in class! Nuggets and sandwiches sponsored by the canteen because we were being held in class like darurat. Nyahaha.

I feel like wonderwoman all over again.
Jogged around the field and football field today for training. Then, did 200 meter sprinting followed by jogging the other 200 m back to where Niro and I started. Rested, then did 200 meter sprinting again. Walked to the 100 meter starting point and sprinted the 100 meter. Rested again, but then Niro suddenly got up and started running, so I had to chase after her, sprinting another.. around 150 m? Then walked Yee Jin to the gate at the end of the field then walked back to the 100 meter starting point and sprinted another 100 meters back.

Came home and did 45 jumps.

Wow me. =D

And thank God I noticed my nose was bleeding before red drops suddenly appeared out of nowhere on Mel's Add Maths book and mine. Haha, that would've been sooooo uuuugly. Had to go to the toilet 6 times just to get rid of the blood taste at the back of my throat and wash away the blood. Eeeeekk.

Life is so screwed. I just want things to get better. For everyone.

We're painting our class tomorrow!
Yay? =.="


And fyi, Ian Teng, I am not talking to you until you slap your stupid brother for me. I am so serious. Hmph.

Got back EST today. Do not ask what I got. It was horrible. All I can remember is "darling" Miss Nina not giving me marks for writing my information transfer answers in full sentences. According to her, our answers must be simple and precise. No marks for full sentences. And no text lifting. The best part? She didn't even effing tell us. She tells us after the bloody assessment where everything is already done and calls this assessment a "stepping stone" instead. Oh, no, I mean this part is the best. She claimed that she had already told us that text lifting and full sentences do not get marks. When I asked around, people said that no one had heard her say anything like that.

Well, what was I supposed to say had I gone to argue? But oh teacher, you can't not give me any marks because you didn't even teach us how to answer these questions! Her reaction would be like.. *stare at rude student's name tag reading "EE LAINE", then stare at red tag above it reading "PENGAWAS"*. So screw it. What could I have said or done? Nothing.

Oh yes people. Nik says she misses all of you so much. And she is actually allowed to bring her handphone, so, call her when you're free! ; )

Screw EST. So much for a free A1. Bleh.

My V. Day you ask? Nothing much really.
It was Sejarah, Bio and EST day. It was more of a crap-Sejarah-day.
I got two Vs. ; )
Anyway, happy belated V. day to all couples out there. =)
And I'd like to say thanks to all the people who care for me.

Simple, but I really appreciate them.
Thaaaankkss. x)

On the 15th of February 2008, Nik Syakirah Nik Azis left us for MRSM in Pengkalan Chepa, Kelantan. If she decides that she likes it there, she'll never come back to be a student in SMKSBU. Ever.

She left us.
Nik Syakirah left us.
Our Nik Syakirah.
But tears don't change anything. That's the only way things ever work.
You never always get what you want.
And read my lips, if you think I do, I don't.

We'll miss you Nik. You have meant and still mean a lot to us. The day you left SBU is the day we lost a good student, prefect, public speaker, debater, judoka, assistant secretary for Green, PRS, and most importantly, friend. We've been best friends since forever and it was you brightened up the class when it got too quiet. We'll miss your squeaking squeaky voice and your never ending whining. ; ) And you would've made an excellent Head Girl had you stayed on in SBU.

I'll never forget the way we played silly games like Office Girls back in Standard 2 when we pretended to be office girls and turned our ring files into so-called computers and we'd type on an imaginary keyboard. I'll never forget how we even used to pick the way we'd look like as office girls, such as hairstyles and accessories. Hahaha. (The rest of you, don't laugh!) And remember the way we sat together in a group with other people during Standard 5? We had group money that we collected from our group members and it was over a hundred bucks? And then some donation for the war in Pakistan came along, and you dumped ALL the money in our tabung into the donation box! Without consulting us! LOL, I remember being so much in disbelief that I didn't know what to say. You whacko! And then I remember you and Ann dancing and singing Milkshake over and over again in Standard 6 just to annoy me and make me shout, "Eh, can the both of you shut up? I want to study la!" Hahahhahaha. And we were classmates since Form 2 till now.

Well, of course there were our sad times. I remember how you made me cry one day when you mentioned something about my past. And I remember how we argued about your personal things that are not supposed to be mentioned here. And then I posted a blog post on how I was sorry and then you said you were sorry too on the Salam Restu Day for the Form 5s and you were the first one to make me cry that day, and not the Form 5s!

To say so much in only a few words, I'll just say that I love you Nik and no one, no one can ever replace you in our hearts. There won't ever be another Nik Syakirah and we wish you all the best in MRSM although we know there's no need to really because you'll fit in perfectly there and continue to divide and conquer there! ; )

And please don't forget the way I ran after your bus just to shout "I love you" and hold your hand for one more time before your bus drove away and I had to literally, literally watch you disappear, little by little.

All the best!

People you love always leave.
And there's nothing you can do about it.

So, the assessments are finally over. I think I screwed every single paper except for Mod Maths, Add Maths and Physics. Yes, Physics. Be surprised.

Damn, what the hell is wrong with my typing? Can't seem to get words out right.

So, I promised an update on my trip to China. Well, basically we watched a lot of shows. Chinese traditional shows, ancient time war on horses shows, kungfu shows, but there was this really awesome circus called "The Forest Code". It was an international circus and the effects and the entire set up was just way too cool. No pictures coming up for that because the lighting wasn't suitable for photo-taking. There was a really awesome stunt where these four men were standing on this really big and rotating windmill kind of thing trying to balance and doing stunts. They even danced on the thing while it moved round and round. Awesome. Russians. International circus. That's why it rocks. ; )

So, pictures. There aren't much. It was too cold for me to be in the mood to take pictures. Haha.

Look familiar? Uh-huh. The ruins of St. Paul church in Macau.
Again.
That's my cousin in white. ;)

Check this out, this picture was taken erm, last year.
Yeah. During Chinese New Year too if I'm not mistaken.

And, check this out! I was back at the same place on the same cable car way.
I look happy, but am I really?

She's my sister and she's awesome.

Okay, yes, it's a stray kitten. But it is so adorable!!

Some sort of market? I don't know, but it looks nice. =D


Is it just me or is that a Jusco?!

Went to a seaworld kinda thing. This picture is just so awesome.


Omg, the fish look fake. But they're not. ; )


Dory!!

Stop running, Dory!

Eesh. Fine. Skip.

Then, this comes into sight. =.=
Why didn't I see this earlier?? Sheesh, I chased that stupid fish all over the place.

Nemo!! Haha, *jakun-ing*.



I am aware of the fact that I look freakeyh. X)
The day we were going home.
Did I really want to?

Oh, check out what I got from the Macau airport!

Okay, fine, it was Daddy's money.
Thanks Daddy! ; )

The trip overall was not too bad. The food was actually very much better than what I had in the last few trips. Well, I guess that's what it should have been because this tour was supposed to be a gourmet tour. Well, I'd say it was the best trip to China yet! But. I still don't want to go back there. Okay, Daddy? We're sick of China!

Can hardly believe I'm back to the old way of putting down everything.
History repeats.
Everything is back.

I'm back from China, people!
Updates will be after assessment.
I need to studeyh. ; (

CNY dinner was disappointing. Food was not too bad, but it wasn't exactly the great type of food you expect to have at a CNY dinner. Oh well. And my aunt brought a new maid that looked even younger than me. So I asked my cousin and sister in English on who was she. Suddenly out of nowhere, she gets up and runs out of the restaurant. Next thing I know, my aunt is coming over saying that the maid was crying outside the restaurant claiming that one of us said that she "bukan saudara, tak boleh duduk di sini".

I mean like, wtf? Hello?! If you can't understand English and only know half-past-six English, don't think you're such a smart-alec by claiming you knew what we were saying.

Next thing I know, all the adults are looking our way with questioning looks on their faces. Hello?! What did I do? Aunt comes over and tells me to follow her outside and "explain" to her. So I squatted down beside the deranged kid and told her we would never say anything like that.

And guess what? She still had the nerve to continue her merajuk-ing even though my aunt was saying the sweetest words you would have ever heard coming from a maid employer. You know those rusty old chains that are hung by the side of the road sometimes? Yeah, she was squatting down there gripping and twisting the chains as though she was trying to release or hold in her anger or sadness due to whatever "injustice" we had done to her.

Whatever. I got up. She went to sit in my aunt's car. Wonder if she suffocated to death. Don't know. Ruined my CNY dinner mood anyway.

Assessment is drawing nearer. I have to photocopy my reference books for my trip to China to study there. Some holiday huh. Everytime I see YET ANOTHER temple, I'm just going to whip out my Sejarah textbook and shove it in front of my face, keep walking but start reading. Omgosh, perfect plan. X)

CNY CNY CNY.
I have a CNY dinner tonight!
*clap clap*
Lots and lots of yummmyyy food. Yeee saaangg, and the Four Seasons thingyy, and prawnsssss, and god knows what else. And! Angpaus. Moneyyhh.
*clap clap clap clap!*

Okay, being overreactive here. I'm going to China soon despite the fact that assessment is the day right after I get back. And also despite the fact that China is having major snowstorms. So. If I don't get back in time, you people will know why.

; (

Sigh.

I don't think you realise each time you hurt me.
Because I shut away the pain each of those times.
You act all indifferent, like you're simply and completely innocent.
But I'm waiting for your apologies.