Through it All

Ah yes... Another period of my life where I plummet from all of my positivity. Then again, when have I been positive eh? Lots thoughts swirling in my mind as I keep reminding myself that I already lived up to a quarter of my life. Got some new friends that I never thought I would have. Gave up on some too. Church really changed a lot for me. A lot of people came and went away. Still it is slowly growing and I think that there's some value in staying after all. Even when I remember the times of Danny and Pastor David.

Playing PS2 AGAIN even after so many months. Kinda reminds me that I really need a PSP or a PS3 but they really require much investments zz ... PS3 Y U NO DROP PRICE t(-.-t)

Gave up on love. Kinda makes me wonder why I couldn't do it from the start. You made me realise that not everyone treats love as the love it should be. Some find advantages to love, not the person. For me, maybe I am just another 20 year old fat-ass who can't even manage his studies now. Hope you have happy life with your happy smile. I'll see you in the near future. I guess (-.-)\

*migraine*

I need you

Another day passed by and my feelings for you have yet to fade. Maybe it's about time I tell myself it's impossible to get you. Must I wait for you to wed only to let myself drown in self guilt and unnecessary agony. I wanna find myself anew. I wanna find what this world has in store for me.

You'll be just another bride down the isle that I regret not having. Everyday I think back of us. An "us" I thought we could have. It seems to be further away than I thought.

Probably, by now

Yes. I just wanna be by your side. =)

Everything's getting intense

I don't have much to say, just feel so tired. Nuff said listent to this.

Finally A New Year

Finally get a feeling that the year is starting. Everything is getting intense. Watched bit and pieces of "Watchmen" and it gives off such a "OMG Y U SO COOL" feel. Complicated plots win when it involves Soviet Union. Hahahahaaha. Cousin's fever getting serious. Burglar stole a Touch n' Go card from car worth RM60. I am getting fatter. Whatever the case, I don't seem to care as much but still 好烦. In other news, I found someone that thinks like me.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHA.

Oh yeah. Lim Hui Teng. The picture below is for you.

Healing

I decided that I will try to blog at least once in a while but it seems that I have so much on my chest. Well.... I won't talk much. Here's a song I've been trying to not think about.

....and a picture of my cousin =)

Aging

In the course of life, the process of learning never seems to end. The bad part of learning is that we have to experience it, usually the hard way. There was once I saw a quote saying that:

"Why do you cry over the same pain over and over again when you are unable to laugh over the same joke over and over again?"

My answer to that is:

"Try hammering your fingers thrice and tell me whether the third time hurts or gives out nil sensations."

A lot of people make weak analogies in life and think that its very smart when someone agrees to them. Ignorant as they are, we have to befriend them. We have to accept the fact that everyone is different. We have to accept that part of them as their weakness and try to find their good points. The ability to do so is a friendship, surpassing mere acquaintanceship. The inability to do so [me] would often give rise to the misconception that the person is introvert. The fact is everyone is different, having the freedom to think whatever they want. The inability to accept that fact would result in arguments, conflicts and sometimes, war.

3 years ago when I waged war against my own world, I lost a lot of things. Ironically, I gave them all up in return for 10-years worth of experiences and events. I don't regret. No. I won't and I can't regret.

"You can't stop my ever-flowing hatred. You are powerless. Eugene Poh"

Hollow

I wonder how empty can I be. I want to know. I don't want to feel anymore. I am always being toyed around like a stringed puppet. I hate this fate. I hate my family. I hate my college. I hate my love life. I hate my internet speed. I hate my contracted company. Sometimes, I wanna drink and drink and never wake up to these worries anymore. I want things simple. I want to live alone. I want a friend who understands what I am going through. I want a girl to caress me. I want a world where I can be me. I am so tired of putting up with facades, worrying and fretting over petty things. I wish I could see your smile again but my memories of you are fading further and deeper into the abyss of my empty, hollow self.


Truth is, I no longer possess the ability to love; Truth is, no one likes me as a friend; Truth is, I loved you but I cannot love you anymore; Truth is, I want love you but the situation tells me no.

Go away.

Can I leave this behind ? This piece of memory

2012

Tired of seeing posts about new year jokes or other people's so-called, strong resolves of changing. Every year end people make these dumb decisions to change. It's as stupid as making a lifetime schedule. You can change whenever you want. Why limit yourself? So you can tell the whole world the exact date you started changing if you succeed?

And countdowns.. Seriously? Countdown at malls? The crowd. The stench. The potential suffocation. The possibility of theft and/or kidnapping. The aftermath - traffic jam. Took a detour home. Pass by your house only to see your house pitch black with the living room lights on. I wonder whose house will I be waiting at yesterday night if I chose a different route 3 years ago.

I looked like this 3 years ago as I walked away from your house.

Happy that someone reopen her blog. Wish for your happiness down the road of 2012 too. Here's a song for you. Piano. Dull but its me. Dull.