Driving Away

I found peace. In my games =) WHY COULDN'T I SEE THIS SOONER? Gaming for this few weeks helped me to not think about a lot of things. But it is, of course, not enough. Class starting on the 4th of Jan. Twas' a stressful holiday. Taking of a baby and a big baby. Being able to drive didn't give me freedom at all. At least I could go out with a few of my friends during this holiday. There are times where I hope I can see you face once more. Stopping by your house like an idiot whenever I have the chance.


Finance Management is so gonna kill me next year. I am counting down the days of my doom. At any rate, I found out that I have yet to meet up with any of my college-mates. Maybe its because I could never view them as friends. They make me sick. People say everyone wears masks. In my eyes, they wear such ugly and obvious masks, it is degrades my view on them. Enough about things that make me sad. Here's a song that made me happy.

Things

Cameron Highlands first impression boring but chilly compared to Genting Highlands. Might find a day to go back up there if I have a PSP an a decent Wi-Fi spot to download my anime. Damn I need a PSP. Spent three days leeching of the lobby Wi-Fi made me feel damn bad but screw them, I need my daily dose. Really impressed by my cousin for putting up with me. I have hogged his PSP for straight three days to a point where I would mistakenly think it was mine ==

I want this

Grandfather fell and broke his wrist bone. Might not be able to drive in the near future. Currently anticipating an operation on his wrist to place metal slates on it, I think. I actually thought to myself in the past: "Would I panic or go nuts if I were to find out something real bad had happened?" Answer: I felt nothing. Empty as ever.

Repitition isn't Catchy

This always happen, doesn't it? I don't get it. Must I always fight, quarrel and leave every time I think to myself: "I found her." This must be another one of God's way to prank people. It's not that I am not sorry. I am just agitated. I am just angry at myself for not being someone good enough. People go about saying its okay, nobody is perfect anyway, everyone has flaws. I am different in a sense that my flaws outweigh my good points. I have always tried to make people happy in the past but I guess since I met that bastard. He changed my view of the world. Screw him, this post is about her not him.

I'm sorry. I always made things bad for you. It pains me on what you said to me that night. Those ringing words cut my heart like blade through butter. I lost another precious person in my life.

Another Stage in Life

Uncle got a baby. Annoying one to boot. Trying my best not to involve myself in taking care of him. Nevertheless, I still failed my Taxation Paper Twice. People in my class seem to be very cautious of this sem. I feel the intensity but still I can't make myself study to the max just yet. Seeing my friends from CHS [not that I have many] gradually leaving the country got me thinking :" Things really have changed a lot" I still am unable to accept change. Unable to accept being alone. Current friends are kinda bitchy. I try to fit in, but I am just not cut out for this class. I feel like dying all the way.

You are the only one making me feel good about my life. I can't imagine a life without a friend like you to call /harass every night. I value our friendship to point that I would bury my feelings I have for you.... I would really catch a grenade for you. but of course throw it back la. =__=

Next up, watching almost all of this seasons anime AGAIN. According to Jian, this seasons anime is gonna blow up the world of all 宅男 [OTAKU]. I want to list out..... >< but oh well XD

I am doing fine nowadays without you. Though there are times i think upon the things we done, could have done. A sigh from my mouth, a cup in my hand and a sip of beer down my throat. To a happy life in the future without anyone. Cheers

Lately

I had a dream of me and another girl in my class dating, making out and marrying each other. I thought to myself: “Is this some sort of guy’s self-repairing mechanism to help myself forget about the past by indulging myself in the future possible situations aka hallucinating?”

I finished the book I so happen to buy. It was a story about a rectangle love story in school life. I find myself always falling prey to these sorts of books. Love stories that is… But for now what really appeal to me is complicated love. It made me think “hey maybe I should write a book to someday haha”. The haha really sprung out of my mind. Not in a amused sense of laugh but a self –mockery type.

It’s so hard to focus nowadays. God never seems to forget the importance balance. When one Is happy, he bestows upon them misfortune to help remind them to not indulge in it and vice versa. Bought a new com last month, and my external crashed, corrupted… 600gig of anime gone in a blink of an eye. Likewise, having problems in class left my heart weary and tired of life but then God gave me a whole lot of durian to worry about instead =)

I miss the days when I need not worry about petty matters. Can I only relive my past only through my cousin? I feel like I should talk to him, so stress lately. Miss his little sister too. They were the only one I considered my friends in my life so far. It’s decided. Once I settle down everything here, I will go over there and visit that bloody cousin of mine. Watch out Jian.

Hi there

It's been a while since I revisited this site. Many memories not really profound but still stings straight into the heart of my soul. There's this anime I watched up about time traveling. Things of the past that every type of human wants to change, forget and relive. It never occurred to me what would I do if I could send a text to myself into the past. Or what I what I could do if I really went back to the past. I just began to ponder upon it after watching 17 episodes of it. Since there is one episode per week, it took me about 7 x 17 = 119days to realize this fact == That's about 4 months give or take.

This few months in CFAB really gave me a bit of happiness compared to Catholic High. I've began to plunge myself deeper into experiences I never thought I would have went through. Bumped into some friends, some familiar and close, others TOO familiar resulting in a deep silence between us. Sighing is all I can think of doing right now. I really want to send myself a text to stop myself 2 years ago. I want to stop all of this shit haunting me. Maybe make myself 2 years ago to forgive you, relieve myself of all this cumulative hatred. No matter how I tell myself the impossible, it seems that I never tried to consider your feelings for all this years. How gullible it is. Maybe you're seeing this. Maybe you're not. I care not. Tis' my final and true wish for your happiness.

FYI: misopsychia carries the same meaning as misanthropy. Try searching for the meaning of that word instead.