In Other News

I'm in Boise. I felt so happy coming into the city. I don't know if it's because I harbor strong feelings for this place, or because I was ready to be out of the car. I'm excited to be here, to see friends and family, and to visit the Co-op.

Utah was not fun for me. I enjoyed my company immensely, but I found the drive from Spanish Fork to Cache Valley completely depressing. The combination of suburban sprawl, megalomania, and in-your-face Mormonism made me feel nauseated at best. I had a wonderful time seeing family I hadn't seen for a very long time; grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. SillyGirl found a buddy in my 4 year old cousin and they were inseparable.

So far in our trip, SillyGirl and I have been to: Detroit, Chicago, SLC, Layton, Spanish Fork, back to Layton, to Smithfield, and now to Boise. We have seen (from SillyGirl's perspective): aunts, cousins, uncles, grandparents (2 sets), great-grandparents (2 sets), first cousins once removed, horses, and puppies. We haven't even been here 5 days yet. SillyGirl has been a champ and I will be taking her to Toys R Us later this week to reward her for her angelic behavior. She slept on the plane, and in the car. She has gone to bed every night with no drama and not wet the bed once! How can this be the same girl I left home with? She is doing better than I am moving from bed to bed and family to family--she is loving every minute. Tomorrow will bring one more aunt and uncle and cousins she hasn't seen since last summer. I look forward to seeing my sister's family and letting the kids play.

I miss the Doc, but he will be with us on Wednesday (after we drive back to Logan and then up to Bear Lake). So, wish us luck! We have a lot more trip left!

Ha. That was FUNNY.

Back to normal. It has recently come to my attention that I have become an apologist for my own blog. I will no longer continue to do so. Regardless of the consequences of my blogging, I will continue to blog in a manner that is honest and true to myself. I am not sorry for my words or opinions. I don't feel the need to continue to explain myself to anonymous readers or the bishop of my ward. If you feel uncomfortable with what I write, don't read my blog and don't link it.

I've said it before, and though others have forgotten, most importantly, so did I: this is my blog, I will write what I want to write and I will say it the way I want to be heard. I won't censor myself any longer. My goal is not to be hurtful or mean, my goal is to be true to myself and to continue to write MY observations and MY interpretations. So, blog what you will, and leave my blog alone.

best week ever! for reals!

hey guys, just thought i'd update you on my totally awesome life! first of all, i'm so super-popular that my very bestest friends drove all the way from vermont to see me and my totally cute family! here's a list of all the way fun things we did while they were here:

• the beach (i have a totally hot swimsuit)
• gyoza, cuz i am like, the best cook ever
• sushi, yummo!
  
• a concert in grand rapids (my almost-as-hot-as-me cousin is totally in a band touring the country! it was totally rad!)
• the mall and target, because c and d are in the boonies in vermont and totally haven't been to a mall or target in MONTHS! i can't even imagine! don't even get me started on their shower situation! yuck!
• LOTS of dessert, because, again, i am the best cook ever
• we went to dinner at finley's and to the new batman movie. sillygirl went to the babysitters so we could all have some grownup time together, finally! i know i love that little girl, but jeez, she always needs something!
• then i made crepes for breakfast the morning they left. i am so awesome at that!

doc and i turned our basement into a rec room/spare room so that our friends could have some privacy and quiet. sillygirl is NOT the quietest girl ever, you know? i was totally jealous that they slept in until like 10 everyday, but i had to get up with sillygirl EVERY morning.... here are some pictures of our totally fun week!

here's sillygirl playing out in the rain! isn't she the cutest girl ever?

sillygirl and lemmy going on an adventure. don't i have the cutest kids?

we celebrated a friend's birthday at a piano bar. don't worry, we only had coke and got only a little smoky. it was totally worth it though because the music was awesome!

sillygirl licking the beater! she loves beaters just like her mom! isn't she cute?

my cuz totally looking the part in his band! awesome!

our totally cute new room! i know it's rough, but we're going to paint in spartan colors as soon as we get a chance!

well, sillygirl and i are off to the promised land (utah!) for a few weeks with our families! i can't wait to be spoiled by my parents and in-laws like i totally deserve! it will be hard to leave doc for a week, but he will meet us there. don't be too jealous! love ya!

new fav movie

sillygirl's new favorite movie:
we showed her the old one with gene wilder and she thought it was okay. but the new one... well, she's watching it again right now. would i recommend it? not if your kids get the willies--it is CREEPY.

Back in Line, You

Well, I thought I felt a little ostracized by some of my friends after this post.  I understand that I touched a nerve.  That was the point.  I was self-righteously trying to help myself and others by showing some vulnerability and asking tough questions.  Interestingly, those who commented on that post were mostly friends from out of town, and I did get a few private e-mails.  I also noticed it took days to get any comments, which also made me feel like I had made my point.

After this post, I knew I had probably gone too far.  I teach in Primary, I have friends in the Primary.  Maybe I should've been more specific about who made what comment and hung him/her out to dry on my Righteous Blog.  I didn't.  I also didn't mean to offend any Primary workers--I'm there in the trenches.  It is HARD WORK.  Especially trying to do what I suggested: teaching the kids that even though we have different standards than other people, that doesn't make us better than them.  Showing them that living the standards and being righteous doesn't preclude being loving to everyone.  But I guess that's my priority... and I shouldn't force that on someone else's kid.

So, I'm sorry for asking hard questions.  For admitting my doubts and weaknesses.  For asking for help.  I'll just blog like this from now on and fall back in line....

One Hand in My Pocket - Alanis Morissette

I'm broke but I'm happy

I'm poor but I'm kind

I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded

I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed

I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

What it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober

I'm young and I'm underpaid

I'm tired but I'm working, yeah

I care but I'm restless

I'm here but I'm really gone

I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be quite alright

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And what it all comes down to

And what it all comes down to

Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused

I'm green but I'm wise

I'm hard but I'm friendly baby

I'm sad but I'm laughing

I'm brave but I'm chickenshit

I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to

Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is playing the piano

And what it all comes down to my dear friends

Is that everything is just fine fine fine

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

tweaking the blog

hey readers.  just made a few changes to the blog to make it a little more anonymous.  i didn't want to make it private, but i did want to protect our family.  so, i gave us each nicknames and also changed all names to first initials to protect our friends and family.  anyway... that's all for now!

the cast came off and summer officially began!

enough of that serious crap. jeez, i need to get a life and get back in school; i obviously have too much time on my hands. here's some catch up from the last couple weeks. i love summer in michigan! the weather is awesome and there's so much to do. the only drawback is the mosquitos. sillygirl and i have dozens of bites between the two of us!


we met aunt b at binder park zoo in battle creek. the zoo was awesome! they have a whole african park that they have set up like a safari. we walked the loop and saw giraffes, zebras, all kinds of antelope, monkeys, and birds. we were a little disappointed at the lack of predators, but because they just have most of the park open it would be really hard to let the big cats loose.... sillygirl had a wonderful time. she was feeding the giraffes!


summer for us also means festival season! we LOVE to go to festivals. l loves to watch the people and doc and i just like to be out of the house. east lansing has a jazz festival every summer and sillygirl danced her little legs off. here she is eating THE BEST ice cream sandwich ever. it's obviously as big as her face, and at 660 calories probably the only thing she needed to eat that day.


as soon as sillygirl got her cast off we were ready to start our summer! we went with some friends to lake michigan for some camping and swimming. sillygirl had a blast at the beach and even slept pretty well both nights. it rained a lot (during the nights) but the days were nice and warm. doc and i were also inaugurated as michiganders: l and m taught us how to play euchre, a michigan card game.


here's the family photo from the trip. notice the crazy curlies in my hair from the humidity.


lastly, a pic of sillygirl's whale pool. it was part of her birthday present, but can just barely play in it now that the cast is off. she plays in it all day, and sometimes several times a day.

anyway, that's the story with us for now! it's been a fun summer so far. i can't believe it's halfway over.

Homos and Catholics

There are basically two ways to see homosexuality: people are born that way, or people choose to be that way.  Either way you believe, there can be an argument made that marginalizing homosexuals is unethical.  My argument is this, even if they did choose, it was like someone choosing a particular religion.  Therefore, denying homosexuals rights is akin to denying Catholics rights. Now, there probably is a time in Mormon Church history when Mormons easily could have been on that bandwagon (back in the day when Mormon Doctrine called Catholicism the "whore of the earth"), but now?  No way!  Choose your religion, worship how you choose (you aren't right, but that's for another post).  Choose your sexuality?  Well, now that's pushing it.  I guess there's a big difference between Catholicism and homosexuality, but I frankly don't care what either group are doing in their bedrooms.  That's their business, not mine.

About a year ago I was thinking about sillygirl and how I wanted to parent her.  I was thinking about how I wanted her to be Christlike and accepting, tolerant and loving.  I then thought "How can I do that inside the Mormon church?"  Really, I did.  Mormons are homogeneous and ethnocentric.  And you can add openly homophobic to the list.  Mormons can be very accepting and loving.  But as a group, it's hard for me to see that.  There are people who fit the happy Mormon mold PERFECTLY but are still left out from ward cliques.  Missionaries have a terrible time getting ward members to fellowship investigators who smell like smoke or have visible tattoos.  I settled my mind and answered my own question, that I would just teach Lucie to be like Jesus.  To love everyone.  It's easy now.  She's so young, she doesn't have the learned stereotypes.  She does love everyone.  I only wish I could be more like her....  I just hope Primary doesn't get to her.  

Since serving in Primary, I've seen a few lessons and activities that make me a little nervous. (Though in Primary they talk about Jesus way more than in Sunday School or Relief Society.) Everything is presented to the kids in black and white: tithing good, temple good, Jesus good, tattoos bad, smoking bad, too many earrings bad.  No "some people make different choices because Heavenly Father gave us agency, but Jesus loves them and we do, too."  I guess I'm just a little sensitive to it because I know about some of the families and maybe you're telling some kids that their dad or mom or uncle or grandpa is bad because s/he has a tattoo or smokes or hasn't been to the temple.  It took me years to come out from under that-- I remember thinking people who smoked were the worst sinners out there and couldn't believe there were people with tattoos of all things.  And when I met my first openly gay person... oh buddy.

This post didn't turn out to be what I set out to write.  I guess homosexuality is just the tip of the iceberg.  I just think singling out any group of people doesn't do any good in helping us become more Christlike, it's like casting the first stone.  We should all just take care of us and ours and let everyone, with their agency, do the same.