See Our Way Forward

At certain times in our lives it is difficult to see our way forward.

Finding the way of controlling the stories we tell ourselves and which ones we choose to believe can be daunting.

The place of our power, the process of our power is watching the thoughts that we think, the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, understanding that even though we didn't put those stories there, we have the power to change them.

Telling new stories is the key to recovery - we can disrupt negative thoughts.  We never have to go back to that negative space once we have a framework for understanding where to go with our suffering, how to transform it into something useful.

When we face our fears or at least define our fears, we can come up with an action plan to combat them.

There is a wisdom that comes from the experience of working through our fears.

Wisdom is always the by-product of facing our fears.

“In the beginning I was so young and such a stranger to myself I hardly existed. I had to go out into the world and see it and hear it and react to it, before I knew at all who I was, what I was, what I wanted to be.”
― Mary Oliver, Upstream: Selected Essays


This sculpture by Kiochi Ishino and is called "In The Grey of Daybreak" - taken at Sculpture by the Sea, Bondi, Sydney, Australia in November 2019. 
The statement says "This sculpture depicts the dawning era of a new beginning in Japanese culture, the Reiwa era. 

Window Into Another World

We're told we're hiding in the shadow of others if we don't "achieve" as much as we could.

Also shadows are said to be where bad people lurk!

But shadows are the essence of something far more meaningful than a reflection of physical form. Shadows are the corners of our mind the light of reason rarely touches.

They offer a window into another world. The world of eternal darkness that all too many of us love to fear.

It was the Chinese Han dynasty that gave us shadow puppets. One of Emperor Wu of Han's concubines died and he was so stricken with grief that he ordered his servants to raise her from the dead, and so, with a lamp and a figure made of donkey leather, they brought her shadow back to life.

Things turn even more eerie when it comes to shadow people. These are dark figures that are said to inhabit our peripheral vision (accompanied by a feeling of terrible dread) only to vanish if you try to look at them directly.

But these metaphors of fear hide a much more relaxing and wonderful truth.

Those dark corners of the mind are not full of fear and woe, but are the first steps on the path of truth if we allow ourselves to find out more about them.

"When walking through the "valley of shadows", remember, a shadow is cast by a Light"
~~ Austin O'Malley

I have just purchased this painting called "Shadow Watching" by Judy Prosser an artist from Broome, Western Australia
I love her work.

Blessings of Small Things

Why are we so hungry for bad news? Why do we spend so much time contemplating one moment of horror and so little time thinking about what is right with the world?

Fear is entangled in our DNA. The tribe with high levels of anxiety, perpetually scanning the horizon for signs of trouble, was more likely to survive. Many thousands of generations later, we stare at a car crash with a mixture of pity and empathy, together with an urge to avoid the same fate.

When Alfred Hitchcock was asked, ''How long can you show a couple kissing on a bed?'', his answer was: ''As long as you like, providing there's a bomb ticking under it.'' In other words, fear is an easy emotion to arouse and then maintain.

Fear may be useful, but it can also produce self-fulfilling prophesies. Fear of crime, however unjustified, makes people avoid walking the streets at night, creating neighbourhood streets that really are less safe. Fear of an economic downturn means we stop spending, which then causes the very economic downturn we feared.

When people say ''count your blessings'', or invite you to hum along to ''accentuate the positive'', it can sound inane - a turning away from the world and its problems. Yet sometimes those problems grow larger because of thinking that is too negative, too fear-filled, too pessimistic.

Here's my point: there's nothing soft-minded about ''counting your blessings''.

Contemplating the good in the world is part of giving yourself an accurate grip on reality. This, in turn, is the only way to make good decisions and live a contented, successful life.

We shouldn't be shy about demanding a mix of news that is both good and bad. We also shouldn't fall for the idea that grim news is somehow more rigorous, or truthful, or serious, than news that captures the world in all its richness. (The same, incidentally, is true in the world of literature and film where ''the grimmer the better'' has become one of the more fatuous calling cards of our age).

So, let's say it out loud. We live a third longer than 50 years ago. Famine is much less common. In the fight against malaria, the humans are winning.

It's far, far better to be gay than was once the case. Sydney's air pollution is much lower than it was a generation ago. We decided to stop building our homes from asbestos sheeting.

And let's also give thanks to the Blessings of Small Things:

Most stains come out in the wash.

Snow falls on mountains, which are perfectly shaped for skiing.

The best-tasting drink in the world - water - is also the cheapest.

Deciduous trees grow leaves, and make shade, at just the right time of year.

Socks are designed to fit either the left foot or the right.

A beer tastes best after hard work.

And the more in love with someone you are, the better looking they become.

Actually, you know, it's a wonderful world.

“This is the only advice I offer you. Pick the small thing, and carry it on. Let it change your life.”

~~ Anna White

My friend Marja gave me this petite flower box for Christmas, isn't it lovely with the Christmas Bush.

 

Shadow Watching

We're told we're hiding in the shadow of others if we don't "achieve" as much as we could.

Also shadows are said to be where bad people lurk!

But shadows are the essence of something far more meaningful than a reflection of physical form. Shadows are the corners of our mind the light of reason rarely touches.

They offer a window into another world. The world of eternal darkness that all too many of us love to fear.

It was the Chinese Han dynasty that gave us shadow puppets. One of Emperor Wu of Han's concubines died and he was so stricken with grief that he ordered his servants to raise her from the dead, and so, with a lamp and a figure made of donkey leather, they brought her shadow back to life.

Things turn even more eerie when it comes to shadow people. These are dark figures that are said to inhabit our peripheral vision (accompanied by a feeling of terrible dread) only to vanish if you try to look at them directly.

But these metaphors of fear hide a much more relaxing and wonderful truth.

Those dark corners of the mind are not full of fear and woe, but are the first steps on the path of truth if we allow ourselves to find out more about them.

"Find beauty not only in the thing itself but in the pattern of the shadows, the light and dark which that thing provides".
~~ Junichiro Tanizaki

"Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler".
~~ Friedrich Nietzsche


Holidaying in Broome, Western Australia in May 2007 we went on a camel ride along Cable Beach. The sun was setting and I took this photo while up on the camel.

Full Circle

After a long, long time, many years of soul searching, study and self-discovery I believe I have finally 'got it' and now understand the difference between the deepest agony and misery of the human condition and the greatest joy!

I 'know', from my own experience, that the difference is simply between feeling separate, isolated, lonely, lost.....and feeling 'at-one', whole, home.

I think many people live with a kind of homesickness; a sweet nostalgia which they can't quite put their finger on as if they were once in a place that they can't quite remember but desperately, somehow, want to get back to.

I believe that at our deepest level (our core, Being, essence, soul, DNA) we inherently know that we are one with each other and with all things.

The trouble is in our mental-minds. We have a deeply rooted idea that we are separate, a deeply engrained belief. This causes a split between what we think and what we intuitively know; a distance between our heads and our hearts.

From day to day we live from our heads, our thoughts.....and this causes all our problems, all our misery. We're going against our deepest instincts!

It is said that while in the womb (and also as very young children) we are in a natural state of one-ness, love, union, innocence, bliss. Then after a while, gradually as we grow up in the world, we begin to realise that "I am this and you are that", "I am here and you are there", "I am me and you are you". We start to feel separate, we become 'self-conscious', we become afraid.

We go on and on accumulating knowledge, identity, conditioning and this sense of 'Me' gets re-enforced over and over again. We develop an "Ego".

Psychologists reckon that this is essential for survival at this stage of our lives. However, although necessary, too much "ego" can eventually become a heavy burden.

As adults, we feel isolated, lonely, small, restricted and incomplete.
Trapped in this prison of a mind-made-ME, we long to expand, to grow, to melt, to merge with someone, something.....anything.

We ache to be back in that place that we once knew. This has all happened because we have forgotten Who We Truly Are. Our light has become hidden under the bushel of fear, a false self, a mask, a defence, and/or an idea.

THE CURE IS LOVE.

Love is the essence of who we are and it is our way out of this mess.

Love and fear are opposites. Fear was the problem, love is the solution. Fear means separation, love means union.

Love is freedom. Love heals us, makes us whole again.

So it seems that our lives are a journey from knowing, through forgetting, to (hopefully) remembering again. We start out open and free and end up open and free.

Somewhere in the middle we pass through a narrow tunnel. This tunnel is our identification with our small-self, "ME", a conditioned-ego, our cocoon.


"Life at any time can become difficult: life at any time can become easy. It all depends upon how one adjusts oneself to life."
~~ Morarji Desai


This sculpture called "Presence" was made by Steinunn Thorarinsdottir from Iceland for Sculpture by the Sea, Bondi, November 2008. His statement about the piece was "Look and See"

Fear-le-well

I have written about fear several times since I started blogging. This four letter word that we often give so much power to is one of the most debilitating emotions one can experience.

Maybe we could look at FEAR from a different perspective.

The myth of fear is that we're supposed to overcome it or conquer it.

The truth about fear is that if we learn to talk to it and treat it with respect, it will teach us how not to be afraid.

Yes, it can be horrible and crippling and awful.

Trust me on this one. I know fear pretty well. I know the kind that causes full-body trembling and awful heart palpitations. And the kind that makes you think demons are flying at you through the windows. And the kind that has you sobbing and writhing on the floor.

Fear can be debilitating. So I don’t mean to be going off on some annoying spiritual kick about how it’s good for you or something. It’s just that you don’t want to battle it.

And not just because battling it makes the fear stronger (it does), but because — when you talk to it — your fear is the best teacher you will ever have.

Instead of kicking fear, you can dissolve it. It can kick back, but it can’t dissolve *you*. The only way to get the fear to dissolve is to interact with it. Just like you, it wants to be noticed and cared for.
Your fear needs to know that you are taking steps to keep yourself safe. So give it some reassurance.

Think of it this way. Your fear is like a knight. It has a mission or a quest or whatever to keep you safe from failure and humiliation and things going horribly, horribly wrong.

So it keeps you from working on the thing you want to do. It shows up again and again, with worry and doubt and what-iffery.

A misguided strategy, yes. But well-intended. Annoyingly well-intended.
If you want your fear to stop scaring you silly, you’re going to need to reassure it that its mission has not been in vain.

In fact, you can tell your fear that you’re going to release it from its quest and take over the mission of looking out for your own well-being.

Talking to your fear is a great way to achieve distance from it. When you’re talking to your fear, it isn’t you anymore. It’s just a temporary part of you. You contain it, but you contain a lot of things.

This distance, paradoxically, allows you to befriend it.

Befriending it, paradoxically, allows it to become something else.

I know. Argh, stupid paradox. Is it scary to talk to your fear? To even acknowledge its shadowy presence in the room? Absolutely. I’m sorry.

So — that’s the sum of my wisdom today.

Your fear is normal. Your fear is legitimate. Your fear is talking to you. Find out what you need to know.

Much love to you as you take this journey.

"Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here."

I have used this photo before but I feel it represents what I am trying to convey in this post.

What Is Real?

Most of us are confused about what is real. Even though we sense there is something more, we attempt to settle for a reality based exclusively on feedback from our physical senses.

To reinforce this "reality", we look to what our culture defines as normal, healthy and therefore REAL.

Yet where does Love fit into this scheme of thing? Wouldn't our lives be more meaningful if we looked to what has no beginning and no ending as our reality?

Only Love fits this definition of the eternal. Everything else is transitory and therefore meaningless.

Fear always distorts our perception and confuses us as to what is going on. Love is the total absence of fear. Love asks no questions. Its natural state is one of extension and expansion, not comparison and measurement.

Love, then, is really everything that is of value, and fear can offer us nothing because it is NOTHING.

Although Love is always what we really want, we are often afraid of Love without consciously knowing it, and so we may act both blind and deaf to Love's presence.

Yet, as we help ourselves and each other let go of fear, we begin to experience a personal transformation.

We start to see beyond our old reality as defined by the physical senses, and we enter a state of clarity in which we discover that all minds are joined, that we share a common Self, and that inner peace and Love are in fact all that are REAL.

With Love as our only reality, health and wholeness can be viewed as inner peace, and healing can be seen as letting go of fear.

Love, then, is letting go of fear.


Beautiful sculpture at "Sculpture by the Sea" in Bondi, Sydney, November 2007

Determined to See Things Differently

The world we see that seems so insane may be the result of a belief system that isn't working. The belief system holds that the fearful past will extend into a fearful future, making the past and the future one.

It is our memory of fear and pain that makes us feel so vulnerable. It is this feeling of vulnerability that makes us want to control and predict the future at all costs.

I would like to present a personal example. I was reared in a family where a fearful attitude always seemed to prevail. I bought into a philosophy that said, "The past is awful, the moment is horrendous, and the next moment is going to be worse". And, of course, we were all correct in our predictions since we shared the same assumptions.

Our old belief system assumes that anger occurs because we have been attacked. It also assumes that counterattack is justified in return, and that we are responsible for "protecting" ourselves, but are not responsible for the need to do so.

If we are willing, it is possible to change our belief system. However, to do so we must take a new look at every one of our cherished assumptions and values from the past. This means letting go of any investment in holding on to fear, anger, guilt or pain.

It means letting the past slip away and with it all the fears from the past that we keep extending into the present and future.

"I am determined to see things differently" means that we are truly willing to get rid of the past and future in order to experience now as it really is.

Most of my life I have acted as if I were a robot, responding to what other people said or did. NOW I recognise that my responses are determined only by the decisions I make. I claim my freedom by exercising the power of my decision to see people and events with LOVE instead of fear.


“Fear less, Hope more; Eat less, Chew more; Whine less, Breathe more; Talk less, Say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours” - Swedish Proverb


This photo taken at the Australian Reptile Park, Somersby, Sydney in March 2007 was my "A" photo....see my previous post for details.

Thoughts Have Wings

The greatest albatross with which we burden ourselves is fear. It blocks us. It stops us. It paralyses us. It sits so readily and well-practised on our shoulders, around our hearts and in our minds that we scarcely recognise its presence.

I'm not thinking about the fear of parachuting and the like. I'm thinking about being scared to take that extra step, the one which in hindsight would have made a difference.

Sometimes we need to step outside what others tell us to do - the conformity and security of the approved way - and follow our hearts. We are then prepared to be ridiculed and to fail. For some people, the alternative is to live mediocre lives and to be paralysed by indecision and inaction.

As a teenager I was shy. So shy I assumed others didn't know or remember me. I often avoided making eye contact or saying hello. From time to time I would cross the street to avoid speaking to people I knew. Fear of rejection had its albatross wings firmly wound around me.

Now I recognise that we teach best what we need to learn ourselves. I spend most of my life now encouraging others to communicate from the heart. The way to do it is to hold that heavy albatross in your hands and go forward anyway. Soon the albatross will struggle to be free, to find a quiet resting place where it can be comfortable on someone else's shoulders. No albatross likes movement it can't control.

In business, and in life, I tried new ideas. I did some of the things I've always wanted to. Who knew where it will lead? Until I decided to give those things a go, nothing was going to change.

I have learnt that I will never completely fail. If nothing else, I have learnt how to do things better.

As I began to stretch and push my fears further away, I grew in awareness, confidence and strength. It has been a wonderful adventure and a great journey and I know it will continue to be.

This quote from the German philosopher Goethe speaks volumes.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness......
The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Begin it now."

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - 1749-1832


This photo was taken at the top of Kings Canyon, Northern Territory, Australia in June 2007. It took quite a lot of effort to reach the top and I was so pleased that I took up the challenge.



Kings Canyon is situated within the Watarrka National Park, Northern Territory, and is a huge canyon 270m high.



The line below is from The Killers song "Read My Mind". I loved this song from the first moment I heard it! The music is so tender and the lyrics just wonderful.

The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun.

Who Are You?

Caroline over at The Zen in You has been writing some very insightful posts (she is a fellow Sagittarian so I expect nothing less...) and the one on 'Confronting Fears' reminded me of a story that was read to us in Philosophy a couple of months ago.

In a remote mountain village the head of the village died and leadership was passed on to his son.

Now the people had lived many years under the control of a huge monster who loomed like a shadow over the village.

Whenever anyone tried to find freedom this large shadow appeared with a loud voice echoing through the mountain. The villagers always retreated at the sight of the dark image.

The young man who was now the leader realised the time had come to confront this monster. He went out with a group of villagers and as soon as they appeared at the edge of the village the huge shadow appeared. They stepped back in fright.

The young man observed how the shadow became bigger and the voice louder as they retreated. He paused and then bravely took a step towards the shadow. It seemed to become slightly smaller. He stepped again and his view was confirmed, the shadow became less and the voice less powerful.

He continued moving towards it until at his feet was the source of the shadow. He plucked up this small ephemeral object in his had and asked

"Who are you?"

Fear was the weak feeble reply.

He closed his hand and it disappeared entirely.

The moral of the story was to 'Observe Fear and let it pass through you'.

Manly, Sydney, June 2008 - BEFORE



Manly, Sydney, June 2008 - AFTER

Lest We Forget - 11:11

Today being the Eleventh Day of the Eleventh Month is a very special day for me for many reasons.

First and foremost it is Remembrance Day - To remember the fallen and those still fighting wars. This video below called 'Lest We Forget' was created by shohmyoh and the music 'The Green Fields Of France' by Dropkick Murphys. I personally would like to say thank you, veterans and soldiers, for the freedoms we enjoy today. You will never be forgotten.




Secondly, some of you already know about my quirky experience with Eleven Eleven (11:11). I started seeing 11:11 on digital clocks in the 1980's. It made me smile when I saw it but it wasn't until 1995 when I mentioned it to a close friend and discovered she had been seeing the same thing that we thought it must have a meaning. Without further ado (love that saying) we googled it and here is what we learned.
"11:11 is a wake-up call for lightworkers. Lightworkers are people who signed up for a "green beret" type of mission when they were on the spirit plane (before being incarnated on Earth). What the mission is, in short, is to hold as much Light as possible, as strongly as possible, on this planet".

Postscript - I saw 11:11 this morning on my computer clock and my blog archive has 11 postings for September and October and I promise you I didn't cheat and create 11 posts knowingly!

Finally I would like to add a poem by Marianne Williamson called 'Our Deepest Fear'.
I found this description on the web that accurately describes my feelings about the poem.

"Marianne Williamson's poem, Our Deepest Fear, has been inspiring people for decades with its deeply resonating message about our fear of greatness, of standing out from the pack".

"If you've ever felt that paralysing fear of stepping forward and presenting yourself to public scrutity, you may find your first impulse is to label it a fear of failure. But in Our Deepest Fear, Marianne Williamson addresses the other side of that feeling, the fear of being better than your peers, perhaps even daring to be the best".

"It's a powerful message".

Our Deepest Fear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

Note About Nelson Mandela
This quote is often found on the Internet incorrectly credited to Nelson Mandela from his Inauguration Speech, 1994, especially the last sentence of that quote, “As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

For reference, here are links to two official African government sites with Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inauguration Speech:

Mandela: Inauguration Address - Cape Town, 09 May 1994, via South Africa Government Online Official Web site.

Statement Of The President Of The African National Congress Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela At His Inauguration As President Of The Democratic Republic Of South Africa Union Buildings - Pretoria, 10 May 1994, via ANC's (African National Congress) Official Web site.

This Sculpture by the Sea 2008 exhibitor Steinunn Thorarinsdottir from Iceland named this 'Look and See'.