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Work-play balance is not the same as work-life balance; working we have and playing we definitely have but where does that leave time for sleep?! This craziness has seized hold of all of us: outings never end; meetups are continuous for weeks on end. I am infinitely exhausted and I think best day all week was that one day I knocked-out for 11 hours. Sleeping is my new hobby.

you are beautiful like demolition

My body aches from two days of basketball and cycling; buns tight, limbs taut, shoulders stinging. I have much missed this feeling of pure exertion and reckless energy! Friday night we watched Despicable Me and had a late supper, talking about pets and siblings. Suddenly I am compelled to get a hamster/bunny/fish/dog/plant, something to hold and love

what a month of june it has been. so many random things; playing futsal with quee and laura, getting my hair shorn, i now feel like a newly-shaven lamb ready for slaughter. i miss my long locks but admittedly short hair is a better extension of my personality.

there was the vietnam trip: a much-needed getaway, budget but at the same time loads of fun. there is not quite one word to sum it up! the first day we forgot our hotel name and had a first-hand experience of dark dinghy vietnamese alleyways. i feared for my life and safety but all worries were dispelled quickly when i saw all the vietnamese families crowding around small tvs, cheering loudly for world cup teams. football bonds people. the war remnant museum was educational but heartbreaking, all those lives ruined in a useless political war. other happenings in ho chih minh included endless rounds of getting lost, walking through dust dirt crazy scooters; ben thanh market; stopping at a random Hindu temple and Catholic church; horrible popiah with plates of veggies; mekong delta, and the cuci tunnels. we also had a massage that made both of us almost die from laughter.

nha trang was much more fun, there was snorkelling; the gorgeous beach; and the mudbaths and hot spring which was a delightful experience. there was also the longsao pagoda. by day we spent our days bathed in sunshine, burning up by the beach and napping; by night we played pool, got dizzily high on dirt-cheap alcohol and cheered noisily for football matches. such a lovely week.

in between all these days, little dinners and meet-ups; clubbing last night because our best bro is back; and edwin's wedding, my first attendance at an actual friend's wedding ceremony. i feel so old and yet at peace, i think this is the best year in a long time yet.

snippets of memory from better, colder new york days:
* spending usd1,000 in one day. coach and katespade, you are my downfall
* central park, cold green damp, random squirrels bouncing madly
* empire state building disappearing into fog clouds smoke
* afternoon hovering in MOMA, lost in art and media exhibitions, senses a-tingling
* insistent drizzle and jumping into cabs with shopping bags, getting scolded by taxi uncles for insufficient change
* the yummiest brunch i have EVER had in my life. crepe with tons of delicious greens, dressing, perfect poached egg, baked grapefruit, bacon strips
* freezing to bits in the office and still driving out at 3pm for gelato scoops
* when we rented our new car and complained the engine was making excessive noise. and then we realised it was a manual car we thought was auto

awesome week/(end)! big LAN outing and supper on wednesday night with all the a1s; our team (siting me thom qilun) lost pathetically to reg ben cal. friday was movie 'THE LOSERS' with thom and queks, then dinner at the yummylicious nandos; then drinks at acid bar with marc, a spontaneous decision at 2.30am to watch ipman2, and much giggling in the theatre (dog! yw guest appearance!) and i trudged home 6am, tired.

saturday was sleeping until i met up with pk and yx! for our most random night out ever, we had fat dinner; watched manhunt; played LAN (yx is awesome). and then it got exciting when we suddenly decided we would go marina bay sands! so off we went. and then after admiring casino, nightview, skyline, and deciding we might want to go home (cab? bus?) it became more fun when we decided NOT TO, and went to eat orhlua instead. and then we still did not go home; instead we bought beer/fruitjuice, sat by the river, and talked and talked and talked. talked about pk's work and her crazy madness, yx's japanese girlfriend, horny people, everything and anything. i love love love conversations like these. reached home at 3.30 am and i concussed.

and finally sunday! kiteflying at marina barrage was lovely. although my kiteflying skills sucked and most of the time the kites didn't even fly up high. we played some frisbee, cards, ate, drank, and dined. and then dejie yuwen fenglian and me went for LAN again and this time i managed to lead the map; it was a damn fastpaced actionpacked game with tons of shouting and ridiculous gesturing and just super super fun. aaaaaaaah. ALL WEEKENDS should be like this!

rushing winds, sighing nights

happy good friday! (: i had an interesting presbyterian service, afternoon of mahjong (YES i finally know how to do TAI and PING-HU and play with money), night of poker. and today it was an early morning of bollywood veggies, goat farms, and endless complaining; then our usual LAN, and a lovely night out with my girls, talking about everything under the sun. and. LOADS of shopping. (((((((: love these days.

good food + lazy saturday afternoon at friend's + chio condominium + good food + party games + lazy rainy sunday + yummy lunch + shopping + good food + great times with girlfriends = Awesome Weekend. (with big emphasis on Good Food; yes, even wanton mee and shaker fries constitute good food)

i am physically infinitely tired but mentally awake; what a long weekend it has been, working till late on friday, drinks at walas listening to my favourites jack and rai (i still cannot decide who is hotter!) and clubbing at butter. i am slowly but surely outgrowing the clubbing phase, it is always fun but less and less so. i like the exhilarated dancing drinking craziness, do not like the messy tangling of relationships and disgracefulness morning after.

saturday i dragged my tired self down to ion for dimsum with hw and nush, loved the custard bao, loved the conversation even more; relaxed, not contrived, discussing grownuppish things like career and pursuit of dreams without making it dull or overly mature. shortly after was down to tampines for my name is khan with yx and pk. it was a lovely movie! but not as fantastic or heartwarming as the 3 idiots. i think we are fast becoming indian-movie-lovers, i foresee monthly hindi film meetups.

after dinner with yx, it was back to town again to meet hy and gy; longest heart-to-heart talk ever, at a tiny pub for three hours, nonstop talking analysing regretting sharing. these are the parts of friendships i live for most, friendships you have fun and crazy highness but with those rare glimpses into the inner troubled lives. and guys! ah i am sure they are a more emo bunch than us girls. how hard it must be to hold it all in, i burst into tears easily and blabber everything out but to keep it all to yourself like my friend is akin to becoming a timebomb.

the weekend passes too quickly; lunch with long-lost friends, tea with the clique, sending brother off at airport, and a late sashimi dinner. i long for shorter days and yawning nights, it is difficult to not get caught up in this materialistic mess of working hard and earning more money

there is nothing quite like chinese new year, the festive spirit never dampens everytime. sure there are plenty of things to complain about like long stoning days in malaysia, dirty kitchens, bad tempers; but there are always tons of PEOPLE to meet, absolute relaxation, FOOD FOOD FOOD. this year my sister and i polished off a tub of pineapple tarts and a full tub of cornflake-cookies within an hour of reaching my granny's place!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

i will not complain anymore to anybody because this was a choice, despite the best of advices and persuading i continued. and time and again i was let down and disappointed, but each time i decided to trust and put my faith in you once more. today was the straw that finally broke the camel's back, you abandoned me without warning and with the feeblest of apologies; yet later on you acted super chummy and made it seem like i was petty.

i am tired of this two-faced hypocrisy. and the worst part is the fact i even consider forgiving and putting this behind again, because of how much shit i am used to putting up with you. but in another context, from another person - i would have left long ago! so it is time to stop taking shit from you too. and i think back and we have some good fun times, but many more lousy ones; and there were two weeks recently where i did not see you at all and come to think of it they were peaceful and absolutely happy.

goodbye. we might be friends next time, we might not, but for now i am not going to try.

loveliest feel-good movie of the year thus far: 3 idiots, tucked away in a corner of tampines, appropriately watched by us 3 friends. i love bollywood films, they are cliche and predictable but awesome nonetheless, the music dancing colours and moral-of-the-story. how is it that my affair with india only deepends and i have not tired yet? - beginning from that first indian book, elective in school with all the indian movies, that very first bollywood film lagaan. and lake pangong in ladakh is the most beautiful place in the world, 13,000 feet above the ground takes you that much closer to heaven.

old friends are always the best, you can meet once a year and nothing has changed. this year we did something we hadn't done together even though we have been best friends for years: we went clubbing and it was awesome.

i just had a weekend of friday latenight movie, ultimate frisbee and sentosa madness and now i am heading to town for birthday lunch but i feel terribly guilty because there is still a pile of work left :(

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."
- Neil Gaiman

I had a mad week of work last week, total madness stretching into 3am everynight, but tonight is not the night to complain: tonight, i am curled up on couch, watching In Her Shoes, eating Ben&Jerry's, listening to jazz, and reliving the beauty of words and poetry

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2010 will be awesome, i know it will be. our countdown yesterday at cheryl's place was filled with loads of chattering, significant others (kwanaik and elane) and much (money-free) gambling of mahjong and poker! and loads of food: cheryl's devil curry, fried rice, my lamb salad, shan's shepherd pie, shuxx's durian puffs, rj's ben&jerry, moses/elane's sandwiches, xueli's beer hahaha. and now i must get back to WORK!

Darling, there are just as many ways

of saying goodbye as there are ways
of letting you go. The boat is narrow

like the width of my heart after
impossible loss, cruel resignation;

this heart you ride in. Love, if this is how
you choose to leave me let me let you.

- Cyril Wong

there are so many things transpiring; i am so busy and tired from work each day that i crash into bed and effortlessly into dreams. i don't even know how some of the other a1s have lasted till 3am! - as it is, 8pm already makes me absolutely exhausted. all i live for now are the conversations at lunch, good co-workers, and little gatherings and meetups.

the previous friday: we had a belated birthday meetup for angeline! like finally. and everytime i see her we seem to be eating thai express ((((: but i always love the food there anyway so it is awesome.

the sunday after that was kickboxing! and then we had POKER again with the boys. this time clement was the biggest loser unfortunately, and chase was once again the biggest winner with the huge jackpot! i won a nett amount of $1 hahahaha. after which i proceeded to spend all my pathetic winnings (and much of my paycheck) on treating my family to dinner at sushi tei. it was YUMMYLICIOUS. i loveeee that place.


then there was that tuesday night dinner at oriole cafe! with the nj babes. a pre-birthday dinner treat (((: i had beef cheek tagliatelle which, despite its appearance and hype, was not that fantastic although it was still pretty delicious. and we had our customary round of beers! before talking till really late and trying to take silly jump-shots in the empty lobby of pan-pac service suites. really appreciated the effort because EVERYONE was so busy and tired with work/exams/projects. love the girls!

wednesday was yet another dance rehearsal at the arcade! and kenneth surprised me with a small but yummy blueberry cheesecake ((((: i had absolutely no idea it was coming, when everyone was singing the birthday song i HONESTLY THOUGHT it was someone else and was looking around for the person while singing along too.

thursday night was my birthday and COINCIDENTALLY it was also my team outing! so it was really good to take a break from work for awhile! (: there was freeflow alcohol and little snacks, and quite a few a1s who turned up. the alcohol made me pretty high so i was a happy trooper! and very amiable about everything. i remember giggling very happily to my seniors.

friday was ktv and a round of left4dead with huiyun peijun and yixiang! they were very sweet to buy me a cake, and peijun chose a FANTASTIC ONE it was so damn good, chocolate mousse or something from 4 leaves. there were only four of us and the cake was fairly big but we FINISHED IT ALL within 2 hours. i think yixiang ate the most, he kept chopping slices in between singing and gobbling. and everyone's singing was hilarious especially when it came to rubbish songs like britney spears and taxi in calcutta, there was plenty of jumping on sofas and grooving around!

last saturday we had dance rehearsal again! after lunch i went to find meizi and shimin in town to shop, but our shopping only lasted two hours because we were all so damn tired. in the end we had more fun sitting and having prata, and gossiping away at the foodcourt! afterwards i ended up playing BBG with honghan suyi and kenneth, and having prata supper in thomson.

i have also started yoga on tuesdays! and it is very chilled and relaxing, i can feel every muscle completely stretching. sometimes i am almost tempted to fall asleep but some of the moves are extremely difficult. but fab, i can feel my posture improving instantly. i know people think i am ridiculous to commit to yoga on tuesday evenings when i am expected to work OT but i HAVE to have a semblance of work-life balance, i don't mind working later on mondays and wednesdays if it means i just get home for yoga on tuesdays. so far so good, the plan is working.

yesterday night germaine, suyi, kenneth and me had dinner! and then we went to watch 2012. it was ... very catastrophic and morbid and solemn, but the visual effects were excellent and it wasn't half as bad as i expected it to be. sadly all the cute guys (russian pilot, indian scientist) all died and germaine and i became very sad. HAHAHA. afterwards we drove to bedok 85 and had chicken wings and our favourite, hot TEH!

and finally: today was dance rehearsal again, we are all finally getting along and making new lovely friends, having lunch together and chitchatting. and in awhile i must go out to meet meizi shimin cindy for dinner (: so i think i should take a nap NOW.

i had the slackest job today EVER and literally spent 3 hours surfing the net! but it got boring after awhile and what my senior said was so true: you always want a moderate amount of work. not so much until we are swimming with water over our heads; but enough and with sufficient time so i can actually feel i am learning something. i must be slow, it has only hit me after one month that there are actually so many amazing learning opportunities and room for growth even in the most mundane things; i should go to work more focused, energetic, ready to learn even from things like interacting with clients! even though the industry is so depressing and so many people are resigning on a daily basis. all-time motivational low.

last wednesday my buddy finally took me out for the Buddy Meal, compliments of the company. we had a $80 budget for 4 people and she took 2 friends along... so we ate sushi tei! it was deeeliiiiccioouuuss and damn shiok. i love that place, totally value for money. they were very funny and talkative and it was good to chat until past 10.

then on friday i FINALLY dated cj and wayanu. hahaha! we had pizza and pasta at some hawker centre in bukit batok, highly recommended by cj. and it DID NOT DISAPPOINT. it was cheap and absolutely fantastic; freshly baked thin-crusted crispy pizza with the cheesiest of toppings and vongole pasta. and the portions were HUGE, cj and i went from mega-hungry to mega-full.

our play-with-sparklers-plans were quite ruined by the rain! so instead everyone camped at my house, watching stupid videos, laughing at old jokes and simultaneously all trying to talk to dineth online. it was FUN and relaxing ((((:

and to finally top it off we HAD to re-enact our famous photograph from secondary school, everybody assuming same kok position and expression. AHH HONESTLY i still don't look much different from secondary school, that nerd face is STILL THERE.

and finally! i had the longest halloween on saturday ever. i woke up at godforsaken 6am to peijun's phonecall; after talking for about 15min, i then went down to meet honghan james and kenneth at kranji. and we proceeded to drive to JB! we got slightly lost but FOUND THE PLACE; ate wanton mee for breakfast, and then went go-karting. which is AWESOME, absolute adrenaline rush, and unfortunately i am always the slowest and they are busy overtaking me. but it is still awesome!

we had a japanese lunch in citysquare before reaching singapore by 1plus! then i proceeded to watch many episodes of shows and slack until it started pouring at 6pm and estelle and suyi turned up. our intended prawning plans were canceled; instead, we went to eat damn yummy zi-char at some random place in bishan! and in true loserish spirit, we went to wait for pool but the queue was so long we abandoned all plans and watched the exorcism of emily rose while drinking alcohol. halloween effort indeed. and by then everyone was absolutely knackered and went home to K.O.

i think hope is the most important emotion we can have, hope for something better and more beautiful and the belief in bigger good things. or at least, even the simple hope that things will stay as happy the way they are.

it's been a beautiful weekend: friday night's lovely dinner at sushi tei with some familiar and not so familiar faces; it is always nice to discover new and mixed personalities. then there was left4dead and tauhuay supper! saturday night was a scandalous clubbing night at double-o with the usual; and now everyone's catchphrase is BB. and sunday was slow-paced kickboxing, a bit of breathing in between and rest, because even god needed to rest on sunday

i've had a whirlwind of three weeks since work started! - has it been really three weeks already? first week of training and intense boredom; first friday night, where the l4d gang met up again and had a SHOWDOWN. girls did much better this time and the score was not as appalling; we even managed to make it to the safehouse! ((((: then we had supper, our favourite eggplant beehoon again, and we went to light lanterns in the spirit of midautumn festival at bedok reservoir. unfortunately garry and yixiang were so un-enthusiastic they complained throughout and were happiest when we set the pig lantern on fire.

there was that saturday with the 4/1 class gathering, all thanks to the fab organisers weijian and freddie and host yihern. unfortunately it was marred by siautung's car accident! so we spent one hour feeling down and depressed. but the food was good, with homecooked pasta from the boys! and we took lots of photos, gossiped and caught up on A LOT, especially with some classmates i hadn't seen in years. it was awesome! they are seriously the nicest bunch of guys i have ever known. i spilled sago on the floor and weijian rushed to mop it up, leaving me feeling very discomfitted -_- afterwards i went for supper at bukit timah! where we had frog leg porridge. yummms.

the following saturday, honghan organised tennis! so we went down to yio chu kang to play: honghan suyi june james estelle kenneth and me. it was a big group and the courts were divided into PROS and NOOBS (obviously i fell into the noob category). the sun was blazing hot so everyone got tanned and red! then we had dinner at dingtaifung, before june james estelle left and hongjing and yanni showed up! and it was the movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. honestly i thought it wasn't that great, it lacked that magical pixar touch. but it was still all right.

sunday i had my regular dose of kickboxing which left me COMPLETELY KNACKERED because it was so intense! but it was a fab workout. then i went down to takashimaya for the kinokuniya photography competition prize handouts; and after we had SUSHI TEI YUMMMMS. sashimi salad and nabeyaki udon (: and i was still hungry, so we went to try the chocolate blackout cake and apple mango crumble at PS cafe! it was yummy but expensive and seriously the cake cannot be finished on its own because of its huge quantity of CHOCOLATE. but i like that place, the ambience is lovelyyy.

and finally! this weekend just past: friday night was OT (thank you to peijun and kenneth so much for sitting there watching me FILE endlessly), before a late late chicken rice dinner at bishan, a game of pool at serangoon, and drinks at red dot in dempsey. the lime wheat beer is tangy and refreshing and i looooove the ambience in that place! especially all the huge lanterns dangling from the tree. ((((: then scott joined us for supper, frogs' legs again at bukit timah.

then yesterday: i watched 500 days of summer with peis! before meeting xueli for tea at bakerzin. the service was absolutely horrendous but the food was quite good, we all had LINGUINI (what kind of tea is that anyway?) met lala for awhile and we shoe-shopped at tangs! before i went home for dinner with my cousin. and then at night peijun anusha and i went clubbing at zirca. i HATE that place, i probably hate it more than st. james - the crowd is shitty and SO DAMN TOUCHY. guys kept hounding us to dance together, although we did get a complimentary long island tea thanks to one of them. the music was bad, the dancefloor was hot and smelly, and in the end anusha disappeared so peijun and i just sat at macs, eating (thanks to garry's treat), then shifted to the riverside and had heart-to-hearts until the morning came. it wasn't the worst night ever but the post-clubbing was better than the clubbing. which says alot about how awful the club was.

i feel so sad that work starts TOMORROW!!! :(((( but at the same time i've been bumming around for far too long. so it will be good to do something productive! but i foresee plenty of bitching about long audit hours. i hope i have FUN colleagues who are secretly slackers too!

it's been a nice week to round it all off! tuesday i caught Inglorious Basterds which was hilarious but still failed to match up to Pulp Fiction; wednesday was damn fun clubbing; thursday was POKER NIGHT! with the boys and prawning/supper after. friday i finally met siautung lela shimin for dinner, our annual affair; saturday was 5 long hours of ktv! before going for the most fab BBQ ever. there were homecooked prawn noodles with COCKLES and barbecued squid and duck and crab and chicken and satay and basically IT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING SPREAD. and finally today i had my kickboxing! aaaaaahhhh too much fun i don't want to work.

what an awesome way to spend the long weekend! ((((:

saturday evening: 6 of us had peis' belated birthday dinner at Hairloom & Caramel, this really adorable shop near bugis. the decor was so whimsical and pretty! and it was so FUNNY, we were giggling all the way. the pesto sandwich i ordered was pretty good although shuxx's pasta was passable. halfway through joel showed up surprising ALL OF US (except weiming, the sneaky two planned it) with a mango-pudding cake! lovely.

and then after that weiming and i rushed down to dbl-o for clubbing! with huiyun, peijun and their friends scott garry yixiang. it was damn funnn although the retro music was a little off-putting initially! and i could not remember saying a lot of rubbish although peijun claims i did! there was peppery bakkutteh after and we left at the very early time of 5.30am.

sunday was supper at bedok! where we ate carl's junior at east coast park, then drove to a lan shop. the three of us girls attempted to challenge the two guys to lan and our team LOST ABSOLUTELY PATHETICALLY, we were lousy as zombies and EVEN LOUSIER as humans. it was hilarious though! all 3 of us made huge mistakes and kept screaming in the lan shop, and the guys heard us from the other corner and thought we were absolutely retarded. hahaha. after 2 hours we drove again and went to eat brinjal-beehoon / udon mee, before retiring for the night. huiyun and i stayed over at peijun's house and we talked till 6am about girly things, and tried kiehl samples.

after huiyun left at 11am on monday morning, i loitered around peijun's house; i think we were supposed to sleep again but we just ended up talking and talking and talking for hours, until we ate lunch. then i went to east coast park to meet yanni, hongjing, honghan and kenneth! and we rented bikes. first we cycled to this plateau and then the guys started catching tiny little crabs! VERY COOL AND VERY FUN. and then kenneth caught a fish! but of course we released it.

then it began to rain so we hurried and went for our sumptuous seafood dinner! the food was GOOD except the kangkong, which had a burnt sauce. there was butter squid, lalas in chilli xo sauce, and bbq stingray! yummies.

and then kenneth's friend needed the crabs for some science project so we all went back to his place! and played PS till late, trying all the silly games and having TENNIS challenges. there was also the gigantic pufferfish PINEAPPLE.

and finally, we finished it all off with SUPPER (again, oh my god i ate 4 suppers in 3 consecutive nights) at some hongkong cafe! although my nissin noodles were awful. what a nice way to start my LAST WEEK BEFORE WORK! :DD

my cheer-me-up moment of the day (:

yesterday we trooped down to johor bahru for a day out! there was stone-grill lunch at citysquare, crazy-ass shopping in watsons (i can't believe EVERYTHING is cheaper there), and we caught the movie the ugly truth. for only 6 ringgit. :DDDD it was predictable but all right, still quite funny and katherine heigl is still SO PRETTY. then we finished it off with a huge seafood dinner spread, and j.co donuts in between. i think i spent a bomb. yums!

in other news, i am still feeling really confused and broken inside, i am not sure how or when these feelings will fully go away but i think out of sight, out of mind will work for now.

pictures from saturday's picnic in lovely hot sunshine ((((: and peis brought her polaroid camera. yayness!
and yesterday i became a tourist! kenneth's cousins tiffany cassandra and tiff's bf visited, as well as his uncle and aunt; so chase, kenneth, his dad and i took them around! i went up the singapore flyer for the first time (was not very exciting actually, more of a been-there-done-that kinda thing); had a really late lunch; and went to the zoo and night safari. that is the second time i have been to BOTH ZOO and night safari in the span of a few months and although luckily all four times were free, I THINK I HAVE HAD QUITE ENOUGH OF ANIMALS, thank you very much.

but overall it was fun! although really hot and sweaty and tiring. and we finished it off with supper at casuarina curry at upper thompson. yums to huge murtabaks and kambing soup!

i finally watched my highly-anticipated time traveler's wife with honghan, suyi and kenneth on tuesday. it was a LET-DOWN :(((( i know many people have said the movie is great and touching and it is beautiful on many levels, but it didn't move me! they changed the ending, it was nowhere as awesome as the book. and rachel mcadams and eric bana are adorable but not crazy in love enough :((( sad sad sad.

wednesday was lunch with chase at ikea! with a bout of gossiping and apple pie. then i helped mummy to buy a ton of stuff home. i LOVE IKEA. that night it was PHUTURE! and we got absolutely knocked-out that night, it was sooooo FUN but also dangerous because there were 2 hours in between where huiyun and i couldn't remember much. to prove our tipsiness:

sensible before-shot outside the club

not very sensible shot, only halfway through

and many many more weird photos that nobody remembers taking.

friday night it was dinner! and more pool, two hours straight, as well as selegie tauhuay. saturday was a FUN&HOT picnic at marina barrage with peis and gwen and wm ((((: it happened to coincide with the BEN&JERRY's day so we got to listen to nice music, admire the view which was GORGEOUS, and played daidee. we ate chips! cake, green tea and jellies. i am going back again it is so pretttyyy. and we also played in the water fountains after, before having dinner and rolling home.

and SUNDAY was the minds-cafe games event with meizi shimin simyee sarah. which turned out AWFUL because they split the 5 of us up and we had to join different teams for games! and some included super competitive NASTY ahtiong families who tried to win at all costs. we were so disgusted with their antics that we gave up and left early. afterwards meizi shimin and i couldn't resist the lure of shopping and we bought PRETTY SHOES!! and now i have a pair for work, all flashy black and gold :DDD

the past two weeks have been lovely, what a way to markdown the end of my freedom. things that have transpired:

• tuesday lunch with huiyun in town, we hunted for the perfect ramen place she raved about but unfortunately couldn't find it. sushi tei was fabulous though, we ate and bummed for like 3 hours in the restaurant

• 4 hours non-stop of lan (left4dead FTW) with huiyun, peijun and weiming on thursday! oh my god damn fun, we killed zombies endlessly and had to attempt the last stage 8 times because we tried to be funny and used ADVANCED level. after, there was dinner with chenghao, chase, yifang, charlene, kenneth at kim gary's in vivo - good and cheap fooood!
  

• friday night clubbing at butterfactory, courtesy of weiming's brother's farewell party. we got VERY high on an innocent looking jug of orange juice/vodka, and the music was wonderful that night, at 4am when the lights came out we were like WHAT? IT IS ENDING ALREADY? and continued our delirium into macdonalds till morning

• happy birthday to kenneth on saturday! there was steamboat with the whole group, the food was yummmms. special mention to my favourite CLAMS :DDD i think i ate so many. and we had topspin/street fighter championships after that

• to mark peijun's transition to work, the monday where we tried to go ktv but it was FULL, so we spent 2 hours walking all over tanjong pagar and ann siang hill. and some korean person filmed me saying retarded things in a shop, definitely not my finest moment. in the end we went to play POOL, i FINALLY learnt it for the first time and it is awesome!

• wednesday night dinner at ichiban which was FANTASTIC. it was sooo much fun, seeing all the old girls from s21 - i hadn't seen yinyin for five years! everyone chattered so much, the food was delicious, it is just so nice that we are all friends and can get along so well even when they were briefly in our class for 3 months. and it never gets uncomfortable like it does with some old meetups, there are no awkward moments, i love it

• baked my not-very-delicious nutella cupcakes on thursday, they look and smell good but beyond the nutella on top it didnt taste that great :(((
  

• friday evening was pool again! and we tried to get the free pool table at no.5 but it was unsuccessful :( but pool was FUNFUNFUN, although peijun and i embarrassed the hell out of ourselves when we first started because we were so noob. later we drove to geylang for supper! and ended up going home really late

• saturday afternoon was spent at sembawang! fishing with the boys. ok some parts were hot and dull, but it was very relaxing looking at the ocean, hoisting the reels, and just CHILLING OUT. we almost caught a big fish! but sadly it got away; all we got were a small fish and lots of miniscule crabs. evening we had CHILLI CRAB FOR DINNER, and then we went to play pool (again) when suyi joined us and had supper (again) and i reached home late late late, second day in a row

• church on sunday ((((: bless my soul

• and CRAZY shopping yesterday with huiyun, we spent $350 on suits and office wear but it is the Most Amazing Place i have ever been to. i can FINALLY find suits that FIT ME perfectly, none of g2000's suits have EVER fitted me at my waist because i am so skinny. i love that shop i am going back! and chinatown looks awesome to shop too, why have we not discovered it before? then we went to eat dinner at crystal jade

and i hope all this food eating somehow makes me fat.

always when i write here, it is saturday or sunday; subconsciously my mind adheres to the workweek even though i have lost almost all track of time. i love times like these when the house hums with sound: thunder rumbling, rain pouring, hair-dryer, cake baking, television, low buzz of chit-chat. it makes me feel completely relaxed, like a cat reclining before the fireplace, warm and furry -

- and it has been a reaaaally lazy week, my accomplishments include an intense hour of badminton, half-hearted attempt to make icecream, driving lessons, room cleaning, and baking an awesome blueberry lemon cheesecake. it feels so thrilling to bake again after so long, and the outcome was delicious. more to come (:

i am surrounded by noise from all sides - funeral downstairs, funeral next block, resident committee party, tv blaring. amidst all this cacophony i have carved out a quiet bubble of my own and am consciously thinking; about holidays past, pre-work feelings, relationships and religion all jumbled together. so many things have changed, or at least seemed to - but am i really different now and living how i really want to? i feel free, unfettered and healthily giggly - but at the same time very disillusioned towards love. and how long will this carefree living last? till the next crush or boyfriend comes along and i turn back into a gross codependent girlfriend again? ugh.

on a happier note, it has been a most relaxing weekend! although i am very sorry for canceling friday dinner plans, and not joining shimin meizi for shopping on saturday, and skipping church with christin on sunday and therefore also skipping gym with meizi. sorry guys :( but it has been too good just nua-ing at home with the family, teaching tuition, and watching HIMYM! ((((: now i shall go and draw up one huge list of all the things i NEED TO GET DONE, and spend the next week actually doing them instead of just partying away.

oh he's about to be and she's about to see

only one word to sum up this week: AWESOME. ((((((:

thursday i had lunch with huiyun after her job interview, which she ACED (but later rejected the job offer) at swensen's 1-for-1 lunch promotion. the crayfish pasta and the pizza were both pretty good! we giggled and talked for a long time, then posted the birthday package to dineth. he is going to have a heart attack reading all of huiyun's crap and horrendous grammar! hahaha. then we proceeded to watch The Hangover (okay quite funny we really laughed!), buying cheap sweet popcorn from NTUC because huiyun insisted. and there was a special promo from kose cosmetics! so we both splurged too.

and then that night it was drinks at no.5! with peis xueli weiming. FINALLY i get to go to that place after the last time we tried and it was too full. it is really quite fun eating tons of peanuts; unfortunately i made the unforgivable mistake of ordering a really nasty Dirty Vodka Martini which tasted like saltwater. HORRID. we played a version of beer pong with peanuts to make... wait for it... NUTINIS. hahaha. i am the undisputed champion because my nuts go into martini glasses Every Single Time.

friday i went to anusha's house with haowen, and we had this DELECTABLE indian feast conjured up by her mum. authentic, msg-free, and just so wholesome flavourful and delicious. there was spiced rice, quail eggs with sambal prawns, tandoori chicken, brinjal curry, pappadums, pineapple salad... SUCH A GOOD SPREAD. we ate until we wanted to burst! too bad i was so caught up in eating, i forgot to take any pictures. hahaha. we nua-ed the whole afternoon away watching Mean Girls (very funny actually) and skipping tv programmes.

then night-time we all headed down to meet our ex fellow-interns for yet another feast at sushi tei, the food was sooooo goooood. dragon roll, avocado roll, nabeyaki udon, tempura squid and prawns.... AAAAAAH. it was very very funny too, they are just HILARIOUS people! i miss those days when we went into work late together, gossiped, took so many free copies of newspapers until the meeting room CLUTTERED UP (and the boss got so pissed he ordered a mass-cleaning), lunched, and took NAPS. hahaha! work-life will never be the same again after that experience.

saturday was a totally fun-filled day! after tuition in the morning i met the clique at esplanade and OUR ADVENTURE BEGAN. we took photos in our convo gowns for THE WHOLE DAY, with much thanks to our super-pro photographer gary! (who also joined in many shots with HIS convo gown) i think there were like 300 photos?? or more? i still haven't finished downloading all of them and sifting through. and the quality was stupendous because it was his wonderful DSLR camera. *beams*

gary was the perfect photographer, encouraging friendly trigger-happy and always smiling! he never once sounded fedup or tired, in fact i think we got tired of being models much earlier than he did. we took photos everywhere from esplanade rooftop, to downstairs, near the supreme court, fort canning... my personal favourite was fort canning because it was so laidback there, so green and lush, so soothing. i want to go for a picnic soon! and just chill out in the sunshine someday. (ok i know a little oxymoronic but yes CHILL and SUNSHINE can go together) and after our phototaking, we had dinner at manhattan fish market pigging out violently again, before going back to alley bar to order martinis. this time i was wise enough to order the lychee(: and it was goooood.

sunday i went to christin's church for the first time! it was nice, but the theme was national day and the service was a little... i don't know, i almost giggled when she said "let us pray for our political leaders". the thought of praying for leekuanyew just seems a little giggly to me hahaha. we had a nice chat and quick brunch at the toast box, then i spent the rest of national day at home, subdued and relaxing, and for once didn't even bother to catch the parade on tv. i guess there was just no mood or reason to.

monday we had a class outing at weiming's! and the turn-out was pretty good! gwen jasmine yvonne peis ruijun yiyun anqi geraldine shihui weiming moses boyang andy joel. heehee ruijun and i were so glad moses drove (: there was TONS of wii-playing (boyang behaves like he is possessed), gossiping, eating, and just catching-up. we ordered zichar! and moses and i competed on cooking aglio olio in the kitchen. hahaha. it was funny cos it wasn't either of our kitchens, so at random moments we would freak out - HOW DO YOU TURN THE FIRE ON?! - WHERE IS THE PAN? - WATER IS BOILING OVER OMG! - EH WHERE ARE THE BOWLS? - EH WHERE IS THE WOODEN SPATULA FOR COOKING?! etc. but pasta turned out gooooood everyone liked it. and moses won! fair and square cos his pasta tasted better. my student has surpassed me.

tuesday i walked dodger the dog! and helped kenneth to make green-tea jellies with longan. ok they turned out... a little weird. dodger is SO CUTE he just pitter-patters everywhere but he is also quite gross, he shits and pees like nobody's business. next time i will bring a tennis ball to toss him! we also watched G.I. Joe which was pretty good actually, considering how bad the trailer looked to me. i think i enjoyed it more than transformers.

wednesday it was party-time again! this time we went clubbing at zouk: xueli peis weiming me, and shuxx joined us afterwards. FUNFUNFUN ((((: although music was less than desirable and for some time, we kept alternating to go toilets hence missing each other. but the music UPPed towards the end! until peis weiming me and shuxx cabbed home at 4am. this was probably one of the times i drank more: we had about one and a half jug of bourbon coke/vodka redbull each, and a jaegerbomb. yummms. but i didn't get drunk or too dizzingly high, unlike numerous freshies who kept turning up to puke in the toilet. some control PLEASE.

and finally thursday, peijun weiming and i went to play left4dead at a lan shop. my first time and it is seriously ADDICTIVE (: i think we played 4 hours in total? with dinner at aston's in between. that night i went to bed dreaming of shooting zombies lumbering everywhere, ah ah ah my craving for gaming is kicking back in!

it's been a week SO FAST.

the day before convocation, i spent literally 6 hours sitting with jasmine in a cafe, making billions of furry red pompoms from wool and decorating with stick-on-eyes. we were quite high and happy doing it initially, but towards the end it just got plain tiring. the irony is that almost NONE of the pompoms made their way to intended recipients because of the convocation hectic-ness and crowd. sad.

monday was CONVOCATION, that once-in-a-lifetime event of graduation and ceremony. i dreaded it for weeks but it turned out lovely (: a BIG thank you to my family and all my wonderful friends. i've never felt like i made much friends in university but i guess i underestimated! thank you especially too to shimin cindy peijun angeline for the flower bouquets, and xueli peishan weiming for the penguin. also thank you to simyee who stayed back just to take a photo! it was also awesome how so many of s21 managed to congregate together for a photo! so nice to know that after all these years, jc friends are still close. i literally spent the whole night running around taking photos and trying to catch up with everybody. lots of LOVE.

there was that tea i had with haowen and anusha on tuesday in esplanade! we had max brenner's. they both ordered hot chocolate while i ordered the chocolate mousse cake. it was HEAVENLY, oozing with lots of dark chocolate and surrounded by raspberries and vanilla icecream, i enjoyed EVERY SINGLE BITE. but it was quite expensive - $12 for a slice. but oh maaaan. i have to steal that recipe somehow and bake it for myself. i could finish a whole cake.

wednesday was a morning swim again with xiefen, i saw the funniest guy doing WEIRD MOVES in the pool. thursday we played playstation and watched How I Met Your Mother at kenneth's house, there was a moment when peijun and i were stuck alone with the PS and the dog dodger. omg he barked and barked and barked until we were going deaf, amazing how such a small dog can make SO MUCH NOISE.

saturday we went for bbq at weiming's house! ok it was a little weird since it was just me weiming peijun, and then his brother and like a million friends. but it was quite fun, we played lots of wii and guitar hero! and some PS too. andweiming's sister was absolutely hilarious when she parked herself in front of the tv and just laughed at everything on Freaky Friday. it is so cute to have people like that, totally open and not afraid to just laugh in front of strangers. and finally monday, i had dinner with kenneth jasmine and shiwei in town and we watched that hongkong movie overheard. it was a little weird and the ending was super morbid but i guess it was all right.

for myself: it has suddenly hit me that my gorgeously long holidays will officially end IN TWO MONTHS and i have many little things i have not accomplished! so it's going to be down to making each day mean as much as it can, even if i am just being alone at home and spending quality me-time. three particularly nice things i did for myself this week: i attended evening mass at st. mary's on sunday alone, i was so uncomfortable at the thought of going church alone initially but it turned out great. and: i finished reading jeanette winterson's The Stone Gods, it was awesome and poignant and had magical prose. it has been a while since words tumbled like that at me out of a book's pages.

and finally, today i jogged; albeit slow, but yes it was a first effort, pushing forward until i panted like a dog

clear liquor and cloudyeyed

we had a great friday night at butterfactory! - compliments of chua's brother's friend felix the VIP (although upon meeting him once at the entrance we never saw him again for the entire night). it started off less than fabulous, we made the mistake of not getting the 1-for-1 vodka redbull and walked DAMN FAR to look for the nearest 7-11 (which turned out to be at marina square). after we gulped heineken and jack daniel's FAST, we went back and from then on dancing took over everything ((((: and the dancefloor was not massively packed which was nice for a change!

we were too high inside to take any pictures, especially moments on sofas where we bounced and got free alcohol from weiming's brother. but afterwards we stoned outside till 6am, walking the harbour, taking pics in front of merlions and resting in macs. it was good company and lots of good FUN. again again!