it had been great.

1,2,3.

been a month into my new job & i've finally getting hang of it. there is still blurry moments though. haha. but at least i've settled down with a proper j0b =D

cousin hamzah is getting engaged this 28 Nov. everyone's settling down so fast man! at times, i wonder who will be the first one to settle among 6js? gotta feeling its either dii or mami. lol. and among my bestfriends, fizah, nad & me? gotta be fizah! heh heh. its exciting to hear & see people here & there settling down. and i find myself fantasizing too. hehe. but when i snap back into reality, taking another step to a normal bgr rship is a huge responsibility. i still act like a kid & i still dont know how to do this & that..how am i suppose to handle my own household & all? geez.

things wit bby got rocky & ugly recently. well, i admit i'm to be blamed for taking advantage of his kindness. i took it as a weakness. so cliche i know. i lost control of myself & acted the same way i acted years ago. i thought what happened to me is suppose to make me wiser & a better gf like wat i claim? well not i guess. =/

but bby got a kind heart afterall. he laid everything on the table & sharpen my mind. he wants me to be a better person. not for him. but for myself. he gave me a second chance to redeem myself. & like wat someone close to me told me, "not every1 gets it."

ure not my first. but i would love you to be the last.

hearts you bby.

re-opening.

alot had happened for the past months.

good and bad.

loved and lost.

these events makes me understand more about life. makes me wiser i suppose.

one thing for sure, i'll never ever look back into the past. how tormenting it was.

what ive learnt is not to make someone a reason for living. for one live for themselves and not for others. and not to make someone their everything. for if one day they walk out, we'll be left with nothing.

now, i wanna live the present.

and hopefully have a better future.

cause i'm counting on a new beginning.