Till next time, my friend. 

Friends that last a last time. There's just a few that I thought could possibly fit into this category. And you my dear friend, was no doubt one of them. But I never thought, even "life time" can feel so short.  
You, my friend, would be the clearest of  everyone else, the effort I put in to keep you in my life. And i blame you for walking out on me. You were supposed to stay through my life time, not just me in yours. 

I just want to say that I miss your presence and your random texts. Miss getting annoyed by you and getting baffled by your views. And i just wish you're well, at a better place. Where ever you are. 

Thanks for our 12 years of friendship, xun. 
I miss you.

As you grow...

Good read, which really resonates with what I feel, at such a deep level. 

Someone once told me that if a friendship can last seven years, it will last a lifetime. I’m reaching a point in my life when friendships are starting to reach that point. And I am thankful. Thankful for the people I’ve had the pleasure of growing up with. Those who know me better than anyone else. Those who saw me through my awkward “I’m going to bark like a dog at people I don’t like” phase when I was seven and my “I refuse to wear short shorts” phase when I was 13. Those who I don’t have to explain anything to because they were there too.

But the problem with growing up is not everyone is going to grow up with you. Some you lose along the way. Sometimes it’s almost painless. Like losing a tooth when you’re young. The tooth is wiggly until one day it painlessly gives way and you lose the tooth. The pain doesn’t come till one day by accident your tongue discovers the raw hole where the tooth used to be. Then although it hurt you can’t help but touch it. Losing a friend can be like that. As the tooth wiggles, you and the friend drift apart slowly. Until one day when you finally lose the tooth, you realize you don’t even know what city the “friend” lives in anymore. But something will remind you of them. Whether it be a photo or a song, something will remind you and like your tongue returning to the hole, your mind will continue to return to the good times you had with them, no matter how bitter sweet feeing it leaves.

Sometimes though, losing a friend is hard. Sometimes it’s filled with heartbreak like your worst break up. This happens when a friend consciously decides they no longer want you in their life for what they deem a worthy reason. Maybe you fought, maybe you dated their ex or maybe they just want a new start. Either way, they have decided this is where your story will end. You are cut from the next season of the show. And it will hurt. It will hurt like crazy. But you have to let them go, because they never left you a choice. And it’s a times like this, you’ll regret growing up. You’ll try to stop it, try to go backwards. But you can’t and never will.

People become a part of you when you love them. You give them a part of yourself and if you’re lucky they give you a part of them and that’s how you know a friendship is real. When you make a friend, you’re changed forever, because you lose that piece of you and keep part of them. Slowly it intertwines with your soul until it’s barely distinguishable from your own soul. And as you grow up you lose more of yourself and gain pieces of others until you become a beautiful mosaic of those you’ve loved along the way.

The problem with growing up is it hurts to give away a piece of you. But the beautiful part is you become the piece of art you were meant to be. 

LOVE is a choice.

There has been a saying.

LOVE IS NOT  BY CHOICE. 

But i guess, what is not by choice, is who attracts you, who you yearn to see and makes you happier when you do.
But that's affection, that's infactuation, that's not love.

To me, love happens beyond the infactuation period. where you still choose to stick with someone despite seeing he is after all, a human be-ing with his flaws.
BUT.
you choose to see beyond them, or you choose to stick by them, despite these flaws.

fact of life, no one is perfect.
one may however seem to be, on a personal preference.
but even despite so, there will be glitches, now and then.

I once came across this quote:

The beauty of love, is in staying together, despite the imprefections.

And that itself, is a choice to be made.
To stay together, to accept each other's imperfections, & to be the best that you can be for your partner, just because, you know he chose to do likewise for you too-- to love you.


//


I don't know where this sudden thought came by me.
but it did and i decided to blog about it. to serve as a reminder for myself too.
last night, out of boredom, i was randomly stalking people on instagram.
& i ended up stalking my bf's ex.
whats worse is i accidentally liked her photo (OMG RIGHT!:O YES KILL ME PLEASE)
but yeah, and i went to announce this stupidity of mine to my guy friend nelson (whom i thought is able to relate well with this retardation of mine, cos he often find himself in this kind of situation when he stalks others too)
but urgh. what he replied me was a simple " wah she chio anot"
and so i showed him her picture and he went "wah chio leh"
& not that its a mega huge deal or whatever, but i still felt alittle sour in me.
WELL, why am i ranting about this, it's cos!
this incident was what made a thought came random to my mind just as i was heading to bed last night.
 & that is, that i was not the only one that made the decision to be with Darren, and to love him.
he too,  chose me. out of the many other girls out there,possibly of a higher caliber than me, he chose me, & promised to stick by me, despite my apparent flaws.

This reminded me to remain appreciative of his love, and his presence, & not get too used and take them for granted.

New blogskin!

okay yay! my blog finally got a new blogskin after so many years!
and i'm kinda liking the new look of it, thus my motivation to finally update my blog! :D
ok since i dont really know what to blog about, so i shall just randomly blog about what i did to my hair today!:P

yesterday i was watching this you-tuber that introduced how to curl her hair without using any equipment. and since recently i was kinda considering curling (either perming or temporarily using hair curler) my hair, i was kinda interested in trying this method out. and since, i had no school today, so WHY NOT! even if it ruins my hairstyle for the day, its fine. ;)

So! How this is done is by tiring up my hair into a bun in a certain way when after showering, while my hair was still about 50% damp.
and just sleep on it overnight. 

last night

next morning

i personally think its quite not bad, though i'd prefer bigger curls to have a more wavy feel rather than curly feel. and curling my hair definitely makes it alot more volumized, not in a good way cos it can make me look like a lion! HAHA

photo of my normal hair without curling for comparison!:P

oh yes,
had a break out of NTU for a short dinner with Darren yesterday at carls!
cos we had vouchers to use and we just felt like taking a break! hehh!

really feels like he has much lesser time for me this time round cos he is so busy with all the different commitments he has in school and hall. but at least i know he's making alot of effort to give me whatever time he can, and I truely appreciate it. i guess, it also makes me treasure the time i have with him too. that's a good thing right! :D

okay! back to studies! i spent so much time on redoing a new blogskin that i havent studied much today! OPPSSSS!
GAH! but talking about school, its already the end of week 6, but i have yet to start on my FYP and it still feels as though school just started not too long ago. UNI always makes it seem like time passes 10 times faster than it usually does!

blissful.
is it to have someone you love the most,
or to have someone that loves you more

& which hurts more.
to lose someone you love,
or to lose someone that loves you.

Let go only when you're ready to be someone's history.
till then, hold on to them, tight.

Fate, the combination of timing .

no 2 person can end up together,
if they weren't both single and available at the same time.
if they weren't both ready at the same time.

no accident will take place,
if that one person didn't decide to cross the road that 5 second earlier.
if a car didn't happen to be around at that time.

no 2 person will become friends,
if they didn't both happen to be at that same place at that same time.

Fate brings people together.
but it also brings people apart.