The truth comes out.

I have a secret.

Has anyone noticed I haven't been blogging much since summer started? No?? How could you not notice? Oh, that's right. The world doesn't revolve around me. Duh. Well there is a very good reason for my lack of interesting blog posts. I've been keeping busy and haven't been sharing.

No, I'm not expecting. Let's just get that out there right now. But I've been doing something else pretty incredible.

I've lost 55 pounds. And counting.

All that leading up work just to tell you that. I know. So melodramatic. But it feels pretty huge to me. I bet you're wondering why I haven't told you. Well, frankly, its embarrassing to have that much weight to lose, number one. And I'm not even done yet. I have MORE weight to lose. Even more embarrassing. Some of the people who read this blog haven't seen me in years and remember me as fairly thin. I didn't want to shatter any one's illusions of me. Number two, I'm well known for starting something, then quitting if it gets to be too hard for me. You want a list? I could give you one. Let's see: I dropped out of college, I have a box of crafts I've started and haven't finished, I have a whole quilt I've started and never finished, I started piano lessons last year but don't play anymore because I don't have a teacher as flexible as my last one.... and the list could go on. Just ask Tyler. I'm the queen of quitting. I didn't want to announce a goal and then fail. Failing doesn't feel good when you're the only one who knows about it, much less a bunch of your friends and family.

So now you're wondering why this means I have less to blog about. Frankly, dieting and exercising are about all I think about besides feeding my children occasionally. So if I don't want you to know I've got this huge goal, I can't really talk about what's on in my mind can I? Because diet and exercise are (almost) all I think about.

So yay for me. I've never worked so hard for anything in my life. And just because I know someone will ask how I'm doing it, I'll tell you. Sweat. Determination. And a whole lot of portion control. I work out A LOT. My friend, Gabrielle, has been my biggest motivator and inspiration. When we moved to Colorado in 2006, 2 other friends left our little community, too. And Gabrielle found herself a little lonely so she decided to fill her time working out and lost 75 lbs (which happens to be my final goal, too... give or take a few pounds). When we moved to the Burg and I found myself friendless, without a calling, and with a lot of free time, I decided to follow her lead. I didn't do a special diet. I provide meals for 3 other people. Its just not feasible to change our lifestyle that much. Plus I wanted to eat in a way that would be easy to maintain. So I eat more fruits, veggies, and whole grains (well, actually, just less grains altogether, but whole ones when I do) and I don't eat refined sugar (usually). And it's working! No programs, no systems, no nothing. I just make sure I expend more calories in a day than I take in.

And your next question is: can we see a picture? And the answer is not yet! I've got 20 more pounds to lose, then I'll shock you all with a picture of me!

Now if anyone is feeling particularly generous and would like to donate to the "Carrie has absolutely nothing to wear that fits her (even her pants fall off, literally.)" fund, we would greatly appreciate it, as a whole new wardrobe doesn't come cheap.

From Patch to Porch...

Lainey designed her own jack-o-latern this year. I personally love the fang. Now if only she'd gut the pumpkin and cut it out too, this might be a tradition I could enjoy....

The haunted house is, of course, Tyler's masterpiece this year. It's amazing!

Take Two

Remember this from last year?

Well, my friends, our annual primary program was Sunday. Before I tell you how it went, I need to tell you that on Friday morning I got an email from our sweet Primary President. Apparently last Sunday (the week before the program) Lainey had a meltdown at the microphone. Wouldn't say her part. Wanted her Mommy. Died of embarrassment. Cried buckets. In front of everyone in her primary. So the president emailed me, wondering what they could do to help. Friday afternoon, Lainey, Brady, and I trekked to the 'rehearsal' to see if having mom in the audience would soften her nerves. Nope, she still didn't want to do it.

Last year, she had no speaking part and slept through it. It looked like this year, although she had a speaking part, wouldn't be much better. In fact, it might be very traumatic for her to even try. This blows my mind. I'm loud, outgoing, and about as un-shy as you can be. My shy daughter is a mystery to me. I find myself, at times, without compassion for the quiet persona my daughter portrays for the world. She's not quiet at home. She's loud. What's the big deal?

So we practiced her part like crazy. I bribed her with gum, which is typically reserved for people over the age of five. We talked about it a lot. And then it was Sunday morning. The bishop was inviting the children to the stand. Momentary hesitation passed over Lainey's eyes. Nope, I thought, she's not chickening out. She's doing this. Get her out of our pew before all the other children pass otherwise she'll never go up. And what child was the wiggliest? Who's child was making funny faces? What family was waved at from the pew the most? My child. Our family. And when her turn came, she said her part. And she said it so cute! "We have a prophet (pause, then with a dramatic crescendo) who leads the church!" She did great. We talked about how brave she was. I asked her how it feels to be brave. "Feels great!" Sure does, sweetie!

That kind of day...

What kind of day??

The pajama-wearing, fort-in-the-family-room kind.

Replete with drinks, snacks, toys, and coloring stuff as per the requests of tent dwellers. Pants are suggested, but not required.

Happy Monday.