Weary.... to say the least!

I have an uphill task ahead, training for the marathon. I kickstarted the day with a 20km jog. It did not go too well. Jonathan and I made it as far as cjc from hougang stadium and were coming back when we had to conk out at Macritchie. It was gruelling to say the least. And the fact that i have not been running consistently for a couple of months due to studies and exams did not help me much.

So we walked back feeling dead tired and seriously disoriented. We started jogging again at the BP station at Thomson and made it to the Ang Mo Kio MRT station before we threw in the towel. John had a busted knee and i had a slightly twisted left foot and a abrasion on my left groin area. WE limped back to Hougang stadium, stoned, dazed and seriously in need of rest.

We bathed at hougang sports complex and i relished the cold shower cooling my overheated body. A much welcome reprieve. At that moment, I was seriously contemplating whether to really go through with the marathon. Here we are struggling through 20km. 42km is definitely going to devestate me. However, completing the marathon without prior training has been accomplished before. Nianlong did it when we were in cjc. Jonathan and I finished the half marathon without ANY training last year and came out without a scratch. Doing it now can be abit of a problem. I do not exactly possess the dexterity and endurance I had when i was younger. I had put on considerable weight since CJC. Back then i was about 52kgs and able to endure long distances at hectic frequencies. Now I find it hard just to drag myself out of bed.
We ate Fishball noodles at the usual coffeeshop opposite XinMin Pri School. I had remarked to him that it has been 10 years since i have been eating food from that stall. The auntie still remembers my usual orders. All i had to say was the price and the number of packets or bowls. We ate our lunch in silence.... we were just phasing in and out reality and were lost in worlds of our own. But we did decide that we carry on with the marathon. Run, jog, walk, crawl or whatever, we are going to do this. And we are going to do this with the full realisation that it will cripple us for the next week or so.

Met up with Sherm at cityhall when lo and behold..... Ling was there! Long time no see Mangamma! If my senses had not been beaten to a pulp by the previous encounters of the day, I would have tripped over my feet when spotting her. And the slimy snake did not even give me any warning! Bugger!

Anyway, we went to watch THE INCREDIBLES at suntec. Folks, You guys have got to watch this show. IT ROCKS....PERIOD! I seriously hope there is a part duex coming up cuz I am so looking forward to it! We then (More like me alone) had lunch at Raffles Place foodcourt and the split at around 6pm. Just wanna say thanks to the both of them for a good time. Thanks Guys! Always a pleasure hanging out with you folks!

And lastly, I was thinking of taking a week of hibernation right after the marathon. To recover and recuperate. I will probably just hole out at my place and just sleep till the bed covers stick to my skin and refuse to come off..... Hahahahahaha!

Anyway a couple of shoutouts...

To VJ, Kailing and vineeta, Hang in there ok? Exams will be over soon! Grit your teeth, dig in and just do your best! Hope to hang out with you guys soon once the ics meetings commence!

To Shivani, my dearest laddu, congrats that ur exams are finally over! Told me u wanted to organise something and hang out after exams but nothing materialised. Guess Prem's passing did put a blip in the celebrations. Well not to worry, I will be there for ur bday..... Just to mess up your place and finish your food! Hahaha!

Yep, that's about it...No I have to apply some vaseline on the abrasion and do some stretching before hobbling off to bed! Hopefully, I will be ok to do a 5 to 10km at least tmr morning....

Peace out y'all!

Proclamation of Glee!

First up... just wanna declare that the exams are over.... Yes!

But I am not actually gripped in the throes of euphoria as I had earlier expected. Was not exactly in the mood to jump around and announce my Proclaimation of Glee for all to hear. I am just glad its over.

At the end of every year, one reflects on the year gone by and makes resolutions. At the end of every round, there is assessment of wat has gone by. Interestingly enough, it is noteworthy to realise that the past semeste had been a comedy of errors and the exams was something that I had just wanted to get over it! It was disastrous to say the least. I recall what my bro Sherm said when i asked of the possibility of getting kicked out after the first sem. He said....

"Well therez always the first time"...... LOL!

Indeed...

Its been a rainy past few months and today was no different. It started pouring in the afternoon just like it always did....So i just lazed around at home, still fuming at CABLE for not showing the united match the previous night. It turned out to be 3-0 united win and I was even more infuriated! Ended up watching Bad Boys 2 instead to cool my nerves! I think by far.... the characters in Bad Boys comes the closest in mirroring me and sherm than any other double pairing of characters on any other show!

Mike Lawrie and Marcus Burnett! We live together, We die together.... Bad Boys for Life! Hahahaha!

I kinda figured i have a week left before the marathon. I had half the mind to give it a miss since i know that a marathon is definitely not a joke! Although I have planned out a week of taring to hopefully get me prepared, i am not too confident. Somehow the first sem in nus has kinda screwed up my training preparations for the marathon. The exams just made the situation worse. However, I have always survived despite the lack of preparations on several occasions. Maybe i will ride my luck one last time.... But then again, in my book, there is never " one last time"!

A couple of bdays are coming up. Shivani is inviting us on dec 4 for her bday..... i seriously dunno wat to get her.... Must think of something quick. Then there's Gan on dec 11. Then a very famous person will be celebrating his bday around the the xmas region! Hahahaha! I can be shameless at times....

I hope ICS can organise a retreat. Been a while since i have been to sentosa. =)

The Dysfunctional Saving Grace.....

Its the eve of exams....

Lets be happy.... Lets be merry!

I guess i awoke today with one of the strangest feelings i've had since the past few weeks. The morning was a soft, wet one. The sun was lazily shining through the sheets of clouds that moved across the sky like a snail with a limp. I was feeling slighty warm.

Went ahead to take a bath, breakfast and a dosage of paracetmol with lotsa water. I can almost feel it coming. The dreaded fever. It always starts off with flu. Then the sneezing stops and the running nose starts, as persistent as a marathoner. My head starts to feel heavy and light all at the same time. Anything but normal is the order of the day.

As I pored through my Political Science notes the past few hours, I felt glad that I have almost consolidated my revision into a garble of unintelligible noises in my head adding to the conundrum of cacophony already existent in my head. Have you ever woke up with this buzz in your head? This noiseless buzz drumming in the back of your mind? You cannot decipher it as there is no physical sound to be heard. Just this ceaseless vibration going on and on like an Energizer bunny!

Yet in all the "silent noise" you can hear something. If you strain hard enough, you can almost hear it. That tribal like drumming, felt more than heard. Its as if like you are watching a tribal dance on tv except that the tube is on mute. Yet, despite not physically hearing anything, you will still hear it subliminaly as you watch the action with your eyes. Its like the eyes convey the noise to the ears.

Perhaps that is why i feel the displacement that I feel now. My senses are not co-ordinating thanks to the unnatural circumstances around me. Its almost surreal. Its like watching a bomb go off 500m away and hearing the sound a few seconds later, when all your life, when conversing with people, u see action and sound always co-ordinating with each other. It is natural yet unnatural at the same time. Its physics telling you that light travels faster than sound but you don't understand why! The lack of apparent co-ordiantion displaces in the merciless attempt to confuse me.

I guess its a good thing I am in this state. For those of you, whom have watched the movie "Saving Private Ryan", should know this condition. The one Capt. John H Miller experiences when landing on Omaha beach and his helmet falls off and everything around him goes on in slow-motion. Before he knows any better, he is in the thick of action, running inland for cover. In my context, The exams are all nicely situated in one standard week.

Tuesday to saturday.... its easy on the mind. No weekends and mondays to break the flow of the pre-conditioned time structure. Making that fateful sprint under all that gunfire and mortar from the edges of the beach to the inland fortifications. To that elusive cover, where i will draw breath before my fate is revealed to me when i face the germans head on inside those fortifications.

Before i know it, it will be over. That much I am assured. Whatever happens next.... is left to be seen.

D-Day has arrived!

The realisation of intelligence!

Finally, I can see it! The mugging is finally coming to an end.... After a week of senseless mugging and restless sleeping... The only comfort i can find is that Relief is almost around the corner....

Most I know have at least sat thru half of their exams and it's still a couple of days more before my first paper hits me. All that I have studied is lost on me. I don't even remember a single nonsense that i have crapped thru during the recent days. As i senselessly waddle thru the days before me, I await the dreaded exams like a caveman armed with a toothpick against a Tyrannosaurus Rex!

I guess the madness have finally hit, i am feeling under the weather now and then.

In a bid to relieve myself before the final push, I started thinking about the coming holidays. More soccer, more regular jogging, the upcoming ICS dance event, more good food, movies, christmas and yes of course, my coming 21st birthday! I just can't wait!

Here am I suffering from delusions of grandeur as I leap from the lion's den into the mouth of the alligator! As the mugging comes to an end, the exams will be upon me! Before I know it, I will be ruefully thinking to myself.... Its only the first sem!

*Runs headlong into the nearest wall*

Oh well, seriously, its only the first sem. I can always blame NS for my low cap score. I can always blame the notion of "trying to find my feet" for my poor cap scores. I can blame my retarded brain integrity due to excessive soldiering during my NS days for my lack of proficiency in academia! I can always blame me for making me the way I am....

The name of the blame game stares at u when u look in the mirror....

Times like these when one of my firm beliefs come into play....

Do your best, F**k the rest!

Deepavali eve!

I guess the exhaustion period lingered for awhile more since my last post....

Thurs:

It was pretty much a normal day as I went to school for PS lecture. Sat beside Puvan for my Political Science lecture (it was the first and last time we sat thru a lecture together this sem) We talked about how fast the semester came to an end and the sheer coincidental nature of us having a liking for the same gal... The Indian Goddess! Turned out my assumption of her bein a snob held some water after all....
Went on to meet shivani for tea. We actually spent 4 hours just talking crap at yih! I kinda realised that she was as nonsensical and ridiculous as a gal can get (in the positive sense of course) and we really hit off. Thanks for the great time LADDU! Hahahahaha! I accompanied her all the way to woodlands mrt (her bf joined us somewhere in admiralty i think)

Fri:

Nothing much happened except for fri soccer. And it was dismal indeed as i was stuck in a team that cld nt last a few minutes on the court. Sherm left ard 5pm and thankfully I had good company just to joke around with. The last game was worth the wait and it lasted for like 45minutes and was a 5 goals thriller. Our team (filled with my makkals) went down 0-2 in like 1o minutes but we pulled ourselves together to win it 3-2. Brilliant stuff actually! i had a good game in defense and sara played b4 me in right midfield. Preet scored 2 beautiful goals to sink the manjans! But the only sore point came when I fell as i tackled this manjan from letting him have a point blank shot at goal. Although i stopped him, i fell and scraped my left elbow again, and the healing bruise reopened and let out alot of pus.
We ended at 6.45pm and i rushed to wash up as i had a movie date with my ics peeps! The initial plan to meet shivanin at the yih bus stop was scrapped as she had gone home earlier in the day but i did run into sid and puvan and i took a cab with em to dhoby. Met shivani at starbucks and the rest at the boxoffice! The movie was great although we had too little time after the movie to sit down and "socialise"! Went back home with shivani.... but i dropped off before her at AMK.

The weekend was pretty much a slow one as i did alittle studying... Oh yes....not to mention another dismal performance by Man United! 0-0 draw with manc city! Horrible!

Monday:

It was quite a devestatingly exhausting day! Went putting posters for the ICS dance comp in the morning with sid, puvan and shivani! Met shivani , her sis, and her cousin first and had a laugh seeing her in her specs and fumbling with her contact lenses! Hey girl, you actually look good in glasses dah! I was just laughing for the fun of it yah!
Then met up with tahira, kalpana and Vj. We did canvassing in tekka though i did not like it at all. I never really liked begging pple for money though i had fun posting posters up in tekka! However we did raise like $756 on that day alone. That's almost enough to cover 2nd prize of the dance comp. We went down to peninsula plaza komalas for dinner. We met vik and kailing there and we really rocked the place with our noise! LOL!
Then at night shivani, kailing, VJ, vik and me went down to changi hospital to see lavania. The poor gal was stuck in hospital and will be forced to miss the coming exams... I felt bad for her. It was gratifying to see her smile when we came in although it was apparent she was exhausted and tired from the ordeal she went through. She gave us all a hug before we left. Hey Lav, get well soon yah! I will try to visit u one more time soon k!

Tues:

The very last soccer outing i had before exams. Met sherm in school first and we did some catching up. Have nt been seeing him for quite sometime, with him busy with school, the illers and ling's bday! I only briefly saw him on friday and he left abruptly! Well dude, wish you all the best in the coming exams and your future endeavours in business and dance. And please do condition your body for dance. Its not enough to say dance is a physical exercise and get injured unneccessarily because you have nt been using your muscles well enough to dance effectively. Do go for runs and other physical "co-curricular" activities like soccer, gym, etc... so that your body is well oiled for the physically demanding dance activities you put yourself through! All the best mate!
Met tate and had dinner with him and sherm at muchie munkies! Been awhile dude! And it was nice seeing ya! Have a safe journey and enjoy your time there..... rest assured I will TRY my best to come see you off!
Finally soccer, the turnout was dismal and the irritating part was playing (along with chandra) with some manjans against the makkals. It was raining goals at my side as the manjan defenders alongside me were downright horrible. I felt like gary neville playing right back for balestiar khalsa against AC MILAN!!! We did notch 2 goals and one came frm my cross i made from the right flank after overlapping and recieving a pass from the rite midfielder.
Exhaustion finally hit me and i had to decide agst goin to see lavania again.... Furthermore shivani was going with her bf to see her and i felt it wld be awkward. 3 really good friends and i would have stuck out like a sore thumb being the "outsider". Not to mention i was so tired that i would have asked Lav to move to one side of her bed as i occupied the other side to crash! Hahahaha! I can be a shameless bastard sometimes.... =)

Wed: Today.....well just past it actually. Spent the day going to skool for SEAsian studies lect and tutorial. Did my presentation. It was not too bad. Spent the rest of the day with the family, cleaning up, putting curtains up and of course, stuffing myself with the food mum has cooked! Soon deepavali will be over and Mugging will resume again. I think I will study in skool 10am to nite starting nex week onwards. Anyone, please feel free to join me. I will be at the Forum.

Till then (once again) Happy diwali!

Crunchies!

I guess it never really hit me until I ran into Harpreet today near the Central Library @ NUS. Well, I did not exactly run into him. More like zombied past him and he had to whistle at me to get my attention. He said " You look tired!"

LOLz!

You said it bro. Doin the essay and prepping for the SEAS presentation had taken a toll on me. The only highlight of my week was having tea with shivani and benazir. The only time i truly unwound before pitching myself into the ceaseless battles of idiosyncratic academic processes in NUS.

I met up with weixuan to pass her jellybeans. Told her I will be missing soci lect and implored her not to miss me. Haha! But actually I wanted to to tell her that its gonna be awhile before we will meet again. The sem is nearing its end. Exams are near. Tute mates are gonna go their seperate ways. Its like the matrix reloading. I actually felt alil sad but i saed her the teary speech. Its not the end of the world and i am not the kind who is nihilistic about the future. I am a realist!

The end of sem and its consequences have illustrated a point to me. The issue of emotional attachments. I was never one who had friends from primary schools. I had a few frm sec school and a few more from JC. I think about the friends I have now from sec school. Faiz is a direct answer of the distance. The others, I can feel the distance already. My ex-jc pals are all over the shop. All those promise of keeping a united front just got flushed down the drain during the army days. Once again I feel myself rolling down the path of life a loner again.

But I know i am not a loner now. I do have people around me. But the question is, being the realist that i am, is how long is this gonna last? We are all going to go our seperate ways whether we like it or not. There is no point in holding on till the very end hoping for a miracle. This is not Peter Pan. Miracles don't happen and the Fairy godmother died in Shrek2.

Oh well, i am feeling shitty as it is. But I wanna put it all behind me and just enjoy my days here despite the pressure and work. I am meeting shivani again for tea at yih later todae at 3pm. Hope more of the gang turns up. Tomorrow will be the final fri soccer b4 the exams. Rest be assured, I am gonna play like how I always play soccer. Play the game like its your last! But I gotta limit it till 7pm before i zip down to PS to watch a movie with the ICS gang. The weekend will be upon me soon and it will be study time.

Happy Deepavali all!

Its been awhile.....

Alot has happened the past week. There were the ups and downs. And moments when things were so normal, I felt abnormal! LoLz!

Lemme run thru the days....

Fri:
As usual, I played soccer with the guys although I had to turn up early (@ 2pm to be precise) to do the banner wif kavi, vik and VJ. True to my instinct, The folks turned up late and i ended up having tea with harpreet, diablo, saravanan and me bro sherm at YIH. Hahaha! We proceeded to play soccer at 4pm.
Guess the highlight of the match was Sherm and me reliving our "GESS all-blacks" days during one of the setpiece moments in the game. My bro floated a cross frm the left corner and I rose to head it in! Brilliant stuff! I could almost smell the wet grass in GESS on a beautiful morning years ago! Nostalgic!

It was back to school on Monday as I had to hand in my essays when I ran into the Indian Goddess at AS3. We climbed 4 storeys to the SEAs office and it was an earth shattering experience as i trailed behind her. But it all came crashing down when she gave me the cold shoulder when i smiled at her as we came face to face (for like 2secs) in the office. Ice cold! My heart froze over and almost broke under the pressure. It shattered instead! LOL!

How fragile can a man like me be? There are no limits I guess.... But life goes on!

Tuesday was a normal day and I came late for history lecture.... Well done Prak! Best 2 hours of ur life each week (I love history lects) and u come late!!! Lucky fer me Gekus and Yingda kept a seat warm fer me...

Wed was pretty much a normal day until Soci lecture. Then another earth shattering thing happened! We (Sherm and gekus) sat in one line for soci lect. Gekus sat on my right and reserved a seat beside him fer his friend. Someone whose guts i hate but little did i know he still can screw my life. As usual, me and sherm were waiting for PORN ST*R and her indian goddess friend to appear. They looked absolutely gorgeous when they appeared. Vival la Porn wif her flowing mane and the goddess in her gorgeously whit punjabi suit were standing at the end of our row and had made the way past 2 seats!

OH GOD THIS IS GONNA BE MY LUCKY DAY!

I almost went down on my knees to give thanks to the ALMIGHTY when i saw the bastard rush in to the seat PS and IG were going towards, and plopped himself there! And I excruciatingly saw the both of em turn around to find seats elsewhere. Time had slowed down as they were coming in and before i knew it....they were gone! FRUSTRATING!!!!

I FEEL LIKE KILLING THAT STUPID BASTARD!!!!

okok.... i need to calm myself down. The expressions that me and sherm had on our faces could have beaten the price of any van gogh paintings of the depressed!

Moving along.... thursday came along with the agony of the past day fresh on my mind.... Sherm came late to skool to join david, the "Lit Ladies" and me for a late lunch, although he din eat anything as he was fasting! Why he came late, I will not go into....Its up to him to disclose...

After Lit lecture, i ran into Shivani and ultimately Lavania. I decided to tag along with them to AS7 cuz Lav wanted to collect sum stuff frm her frend before heading to ICS lect. Been awhile since i saw lavania and the 3 of us had a wonderful crapping session. It almost took my mind off the agonising events of wednesday. ICS meeting was a blast altho it was the last one before exams. We hung out at Fong Seng fer dinner and had a blast of a time just teasing each other and cracking lameass jokes! Had a wonderful time indeed!

Friday came and went. No soccer, so i just spent time rotting at home and writing testimonials for some of my ICS people. Sat was spent painting the house and watching united lose to portsmouth! Depression has hit home again fer me. How can u lose to portsmouth when u just beat arsenal just the week before.... The logic escapes me. Just like the other events that had happened the past week. The only release or happiness I found the past week that kinda, if not fully equalizes, the shittiness i have faced is probly my contact wif the ics peeps and fri soccer (esp tt goal....thanks to my bro, Sherm!)

Shout out to Clinton....Hope you did em exams as well! You deserve good results more than anyone else! Keep it up bro! Hope we can meet up along wif the rest of the gang during the holz!

Sherm... thanks for the ASSIST and the countless more you have given me throughout my life! Life wld nt have been the same w/o you!

Lavania. dun worry too much. Life never sucks longer than it should, if tt offers u any comfort. Dun lose sleep over it yah!

The ICS crew...love u lots! Hope to see u guys soon. And I will try to get all the testimonials done as soon as possible! All da best in the coming exams!

Harpreet and gang! Love playing soccer with you guys! Friday soccer is the highlight of any ordinary week of mine if not all! Thanks bro!

Thatz all i guess..... Monday is almost upon me! And therez still the darned lit essay!