Lunch never tasted so bad

This afternoon I had lunch alone at home; a measly sandwich and choking on my phlegm in between and pondering over my current disposition

After a disappointing weekend, it's hard to keep in mind that the sky is endless. It's funny how an event as momentous as that sent me into a tailspin. Call me oversensitive but that's how I am, imperfect, just like how you are.

I used to feel like I was chasing the horizon and even though I never did gain ground, I never gew tired of chasing. I always believed that the rewards would far outweigh any hardship I endured- I no longer feel that way and I have since distanced myself from that belief. I've seen how dreams can be dashed in a matter of minutes or even seconds.

I guess at the end of the day it's pointless, because the truth is that I am nowhere near where I would like to be. And no matter how you try and mask it with kind words, the unkind hideous truth is that nothing I do is of significant importance to warrant a change. I would not say I'm completely beaten, though I cannot tell how much longer I can go on with a half hearted attempt.

Maybe it's the flu medicine kicking in, but this certainly seems like a nightmare come true.