I realise how much life has changed for me since I got into poly. I'm a far cry from the fat ass smoker/gangster wannabe that I was in secondary school.
I admit, I'm still prone to days where I'd like nothing more than a pack of viceroy super menthol and a few shots of jack daniels and spend my day brooding. But the people around me now react differently and I've (hopefully) reacted in accordance to their actions. In retrospect, they are one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time.
I don't know what's different about my school mates now - Maybe they're older, maybe I've become more matured in my thinking(doubt so), maybe dragon boating has made me more conscious about my health, or maybe it's because I just haven't caught on to the gossiping behind my back(if there's even any). I don't know, but I'm glad for it. They allow me the space to be myself without estranging me.
It's not a big drastic change but it's significant enough. I am enjoying a rather full life right now, ableit broke... And while stressful and tiring at times, it has been highly rewarding.
I still have a long way to go in terms of academics. I've fallen back in my studies and hopefully I can get some issues sorted out during the 7 week vacation and start the next semester with a new and better outlook. I'll try to work harder next semester, but sometimes, working hard for useless vague repetitve unmeaningful uninteresting things is hard work... And I'd rather grapple with subjects like psychology or sports science than learn about circuits and memorising properties of metals. But I don't really have much choice, do I?
Dragon boating, likewise, has a lot more for me to work on, but my teammates make it worthwhile. People like bryan, hanif, nath and jeremy just to name a few... Training/gymming is also one of the best things that's ever happened to me. It's an indescribable feeling; pumping iron and achieving a 'pump' in your muscles, having blood gush through your veins into your muscles is just orgasmic. It's like having an orgasm, if not better. And I'm loving it, even though I would wake up the next day with sore and aching muscles.
This sport I've chosen is highly competitive and only the fittest(mentally and physically) will survive, I know that all the pain, sweat and suffering I inflict upon myself will not go to waste. I will earn my place on the boat and prove myself worthy of being called a ngee ann rower.
And so ends my very longwinded reflection of the year so far. I applaud you if you manage to read the whole thing without falling asleep. Hopefully I have managed to successfully convey my thoughts and feelings as I realise how much more there is to be done. And also, I hope this explains my irregular blogging, having been caught up so fully with life and its emotional luggage.
