Happy Birthday May!!!

Birthday shout out to MAY!!!! Happy Birthday!!! Hope you're having a great day!!!

First Job Interview

Yay... My first job interview is tomorrow... I don't know how it'll turn out but I'm gonna try my best to be a fantastic candidate!!!! It's exciting and scary at the same time... I really hope I do well... Wish me luck... :-)

New Beginning

I have been wearing specs for almost 18years... Practically all my life... So without the specs now, I feel so weird... Sometimes I feel like pushing up my specs and then I realise that I'm not wearing one anymore... So weird... But thankfully, I managed to get thru with the whole procedure this time... Quite nerve-wrecking actually... Especially with the burnt smell and all... Can't believe that I actually managed to make it thru... Did have a few moments when I did wanna back out... It's quite amazing what you can achieve once you put your mind to it... That's a revelation to me... Haha... So now I have to get used to not having to wear specs... Yay...

Lasik Woes

Sad case... Thought today would be the end of my specky days... NOT!!! The surgeon abort procedure at the start... Reason?? Because my eyes are too small and that the cornea is too steep... The machine can't hold my eyes properly and it can't cut the flap out properly... I'm sad... Cos I was already lying on the operating table, all set for it... Now my hopes are dashed... Esp since the one the doctor is recommending will cost even more... Though safer but so much more expensive... Argh... He said I have unique eyes... Weird shape... Argh... Major trouble... Looks like I'd have to stick with gd old specky... Many say I look better with it... Perhaps it's cos I've been wearing it for like, forever!!! It's a sad thing... But I'll get over it... Soon...

Birthday Wish

Yesterday was not exactly the most happiest or the most comfortable birthday ever... Reasons??

First of all, I had the most awful rashes ever that made me feel so itchy and in agony... Red like a lobster I couldn't even go out... Lots of things I couldn't eat as well... Kinda spoilt the mood for everyone... Especially my dear mama... It is finally getting slightly better today but I'm still itching all over...

Second of all, my dad is in china... Not the whole family together celebrating... So yesterday didn't really feel like a proper birthday celebration at all...

Third, and yes there is a third, is that I realised that there are still a lot of unresolved issues that I guess I have been trying to ignore and forget... Now I think it is finally the time to come clean before I truly lose everything I really want... It is just that I am so afraid of getting hurt again that I dare not try... That, I can safely say, isn't my normal self... Haha... I just do not know if it is the right thing to do or not... I have been trying to walk away but I'm seriously failing miserably... Cos all I can ever think of are those memories and everything that have happened... I guess I've got to find the right time to make amends if that is even possible still... Because it matters to me... It always will...

So, this year, my birthday wish is to for everything to go smoothly and for everyone to be happy and healthy... Guess that's more than a wish, but then, it's my wish... ;p

Vexed

Perhaps when you wanted something and missed the chance to get it, when you finally got it, you realise that it isn't the same as before, perhaps even unsuitable for you. The feeling isn't the same anymore.

I wanted that bag a long time ago, now that I've got it, I couldn't remember if it was how I wanted it to be. Maybe it is a bit unsuitable for me now. Guess it can be applied to many things.

Watching this korean drama that I have no idea what the title of the show is, but I know that it is a typical korean drama. Sad and make you feel like crying. It just remind me of a lot of the past and all the feelings. I just feel like no one truly understands. Perhaps I'm just stubborn. I wish I can just throw everything away and forget, but I can't. Letting everything go is the hardest part but I know that I have to. There is no use holding on to something that is meaningless and useless. Because even when it comes back to you, it may not be the same anymore. Nothing's ever quite the same anymore, isn't it?

Stupid korean drama! Made me think of so many things that I shouldn't be thinking about.

2007

This is my first entry for 2007...

Hopefully it will be a better year for everyone... The last year had lots of disappointments, upsets, happiness and hopes but then as I've always said, it was a hell of a year for me...

So... Because it is a new year, all the past should be put to rest... It's a new year, therefore there should be new beginnings and it also marks a new chapter in my life... What will happen, will happen, and what will, will not... There's no rush, no pressure, just let things flow naturally...

I guess the hardest thing for me right now is to walk away... But be sure that I can and that I will succeed in doing that, one day... Because of everything that has happened, I know that I am a strong person and I continue to be that... No matter what...

So my new year resolution is to be the best that I can be and to walk away...

Graduation

This is the moment I've been waiting for... No parents but still ok... Meant a lot to me.... However, one huge thing happened that screwed up such a joyous occasion... I found out that there was a mistake with my results for one module... Really upset... Why did they make a mistake with MY RESULTS!!! Why didn't they inform me??? That's really just horrible... It's too much... Ruined my happy day!!! Boo hoo hoo...