This morning Madeleine dubbed Uncle Ezra the Chosen One. Only he could replace her nursing mother on potty-duty. Others offered, but were turned down. Ezra, ironically, did not offer. Maybe you needed to be there to enjoy the comedy, but here's how it went down:
Madie: "No! Uncle Ezra can do it!"
Ezra (just walking through the door): Throws his hands up by his head and shouts "Yay!"
Madie: "Come on, Ez! Let's go!" She runs towards the bathroom.
Ezra: "Okay Madie, I don't know what to do, so I guess you're on your own."
Madie: "You help me go potty!"A moment goes by.
Mum (standing at the vanity right by the bathroom door): "No, no, Ezra. You only need to pull the skirt of her dress up and her panties down. You don't need to unzip her and take the dress off." Another moment goes by. "Oh, Ezra, never mind. Move out of the way."
Ezra comes out of the bathroom and Mum goes in. Madie screeches and Mum comes back out.
Mum: "Well, now that you've started taking her dress off, that's what she wants done, so I guess you need to go in there and finish what you started."
Ezra returns to the bathroom. Mum stands in the living room and snickers into her hand.
Madie: "Put me on the potty!"
Ezra: "What?"
Madie: "Put me on the potty!!" Aunt Kait gets up and goes in. "No, Aunt Kait!" More screeching. Aunt Eden gets up and goes in. More screeching. Ezra gets shoved out by his sisters--not that he minds--and Madie screams some more.
Mum: "By the time he actually gets her on there she's not going to need to go any more."
Me: "Okay! You two (Kait and Eden) get out. Come out of there. Ezra, strip that kid down and stick her on the toilet!" Ezra finally just DOES it--you would never guess the Ezra-to-Madie height ratio is at least 2:1. About 10 seconds later:
Madie: "I'm doooone! Ezra, I'm done!"
Ezra: "What?! You just got on there!"
Yes, Ezra, it's true: it doesn't take most people 30 minutes to urinate, even a two-year old. Congratulations on your induction into The Big Sibling Club. Can I just say, the justice is so sweet.