Wednesday, January 25, 2006

This is what freedom smells like

Today, I woke up with a sick feeling in my pit. Initially, I thought it was the aftereffects of watching Memoirs of the Geisha the night before. But as the day progressed, I gradually realised why I felt this way...

Tonight, I'm going to chair the Youth Council meeting for the last time. Considering all the crap that I've been through the past three years, I thought this day would sweep past like a breeze and I would savour the last moments of relinquishing this huge responsibility that has been placed on my shoulders. I had even started making plans for a mini-party come 5 February.

But, for some strange reason, I feel almost reluctant to let go. I feel like I've been doing this all my life that it has become a part of me. How can something which feels so right suddenly feel so wrong? Perhaps it's just sentiments. Maybe it's habit. Whatever the reason is, no matter how difficult it is to let go, I know that change is inevitable. In fact, I ought to look forward to this change, both for myself and for the youths.

It's a good thing, I must remember...And so must you, (those who are standing for elections), don't ever think about giving up even before you begin the journey. God has called you to greatness so embrace this privilege, hold His hand and soar to unreachable heights.

Posted by Jo at 5:45 PM

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Job application. Status: Unknown.

With each passing day, my hopes get more and more bleak. Will I get it? Will they call me? Am I going to be stuck here forever? This is killing me. The answer wouldn't have crushed me as much as this eternal waiting game. I've done all I could to secure this. So many things have happened in my favour. So many people have believed in me. It feels so right and it seems like the most natural progression. But it's taking too long...

I feel like I'm stranded on an island, with people knowing that I'm stuck, and yet they're not coming to rescue me...

...Lord, it's all up to You now. Pls send the people a boat so that they can save me. I really want this. You know I do. I'm not sure if it is part of Your plan, but if it is, pls give it to me soon.

Posted by Jo at 11:33 AM

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Missed calls

"...Here I am Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if you lead me,
I will hold your people in my heart..."

This song always tears me up and quite frankly, I hate singing it. Don't get me wrong, it has such lovely inspirational lyrics, but each time I sing it, I feel like a blerdy hypocrite. Here's a jo-fied version of it -

Jo: "Lord, I am here. Are you calling me?"
God: "Ya. Duh..."
Jo: "Ok lor, what do you want me to do?"
God: "Here, take Maranatha and Youth Council and..."
Jo: "No problem lar. If you lead me, I'll surely follow."

~ After some time ~

Jo: "Lord, I'm sorry, I can't do it anymore. Your people, they...they are just too difficult for me. This cross is simply too heavy for me to carry. There are so many obstacles, so many setbacks. I'm losing my friends along the way. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't have time to do anything else. I'm so sick and tired of it. There is no one supporting me. I...*sigh*"
God: "It's ok my child. I still love you."

Dear God, as I lay down to sleep tonight, help me to love You with all my heart, all my might and all my strength. I don't want to be a hypocrite anymore. I want to sing that song and mean what I sing. I know that You are always calling me. Help me not to refuse Your call to service. Help me to keep focus on You and on the eternity You have promised me. Grant me love in my heart, so that I will always love your people. Grant me patience, so that I can see You in them. Grant me wisdom, so that I will always know Your will. And most of all Lord, grant me a heart of service, because that's what You have called me for. Amen.

Posted by Jo at 10:19 PM

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Happy birthday to me...and you.

As I sat there, in the huge hall the size of a football field, it finally sank in. Everything I saw, from the funky chalkboard to the slogan of the poster, was calling out to me - "Back to school".

It is such a surreal feeling. *slaps self* Hmmm, ouch. I'm really going back to school! I'm so pumped with adrenaline. Already, I am harbouring thoughts of late night mugging and long thesis writing. Sounds crazy, but I'm loving it. Education can be such a beautiful thing. Maybe it isn't, in the beginning, but after more than 10 years of school-going, it somehow seems to penetrate into our very systems. Can't wait for my first lesson in Feb!

Today is also Maranatha's 8th birthday celebration. Looking back at the 7 years I've been in the group, all I feel is a deep sense of thanksgiving. I remember the friendships I've built and lost along the way. I remember the prayers which brought Christ a little closer to youths. I remember the feelings of hopelessness and despair. I remember the times when we were only six-strong.

Now, I am convinced that this group is meant to be. I know that we are a part of His plan. That is how He brought us up, from 6 to 36. All 36 (and counting) have a very special place in my heart. It is not merely a number but a sign of God's faithful love, of His promises made to us. And as we celebrate our 8th birthday, my only wish is for all of us to continue growing stronger in love, for Him and each other.

Happy birthday my dear friends...

Footnote: Maranatha Prayer Ministry is the youth group in Christ the King church. Our mission is to bring Christ to people through prayer. We specialise in different forms of prayer - From Taize to Rosary to P&W. We want to tell the world that prayer doesn't have to be boring. So pray, and experience the power of prayer!

Posted by Jo at 10:27 PM

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Let's talk about sex...

Having spent half my day yesterday in church, I can't help but feel a little 'loo-gi'....Short-changed, of sorts. After all, it is a public holiday, and I do have a million other things to do.

But you see, that's the thing, (and the topic of this entry). Despite me being stoned throughout the 4-hour long talk, God has, once again, managed to capture my attention in more ways than one.

There was this man in my sharing group. Peter. He is a practising gynae. Oh yes, the topic for discussion was the Theology of the Body. Sex, for short. So this man, started sharing about his experiences as a doctor, the encounters he had with many expectant parents, and of course, his ideologies about sex and the Catholic church.

So I, trying to put my journalistic instincts to use, decided to pose him a question. "So Peter, since you are a practising gynae, and a Catholic at the same time, how do you manage your profession and your faith?"

This is what Peter said. "Well, that's a good question (which I totally agree...hee...) . When I first became a doctor, I had to perform abortions, IVFs and other procedures which are not necessarily in line with the church's teachings. At that time, I was just a Sunday Catholic and didn't know much about my faith. One day, a friend of mine called me and he said that I should stop. He told me that I should stop killing unborn babies and trying to play God. After the phone call, I spent the whole night crying. I used to think that abortions were all about removing some under-developed hands and feet for a quick buck. Subsequently, I began to learn more about the Catholic doctrines. Now, I don't do abortions, IVFs, etc anymore. Although the money is significantly a lot less, I feel at ease with God. I realise that we are called by God to be faithful, not successful."

That's the line of the month folks. "We are called by God to be faithful, not successful." That kept me pondering for a good half an hour. And in many instances, this doesn't just apply to doctors. It applies to most professions and, put simply, most parts of our daily lives. For me, my most relevant industry is the media. And I know for a fact that the media uses sex to get people's attention. Sex sells. Period. And it made me realise that in such situations, being a Catholic is like trying to climb Mt Everest. Without an oxygen tank.

Thankfully now, working in a healthcare environment, I don't have to face much daily ethical dilemmas. But I do know that everyday, I'm presented with many opportunites to be a Catholic. For example, choosing not to gossip about others, not using vulgarities, not being dishonest, etc...

That's why we are given the freedom of choice - Catholicism is no longer a religion. It becomes our way of life. It affects us in every aspect of our life, whether we like it or not.

Make your choice folks.

P.S - I've noticed a sharp jump in my visitor tracker. If you read my blog, pls tag a message so that if I should ever 'migrate', I'll keep you in the loop. Thanks!

Posted by Jo at 8:08 PM

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

And it's a wrap!

For starters, I can't believe Hil beat me to this. As you read on, pls bear in mind that I'm not a copycat...Well, most of the time at least...

2005 was a seemingly dull year for me (which was quite a disappointment, considering that I have an affinity for the number 5). As I look back on the resolutions I made for the year, I cringe at the thought of my slow progress rate. Shucks. Someone pls pass me a paper bag...

Here's a quick summary of my year, done with the limited memory I have of it.

Best of 2005
1) Getting my job promotion
2) Hil's ORD
3) A record high number of mahjong sessions
4) Applying to further my studies
5) A certain Christmas present

Worst of 2005
1) Fall-outs with some people
2) Visiting the dentist
3) Death of a great Pope
4) Failing my driving
5) Youth events in December

People of the Year Award
1) Hil. After all these years, I'm glad some things don't change...like you. Awww...
2) Matt. I wouldn't have survived long in YC without this 'Ah Pek'.
3) Uncle Mike. His humility, sincerity, passion, wit and humour can move mountains.
4) Uncle Mike's son. Because of Joel, my life is the way it is, mostly. So thank you. I mean it.
5) Rach. I've gotten to know more about this girl than I ever had my whole life. Rock on girl!

Songs of the Year Award
1) You're beautiful by James Blunt
2) Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani
3) True by Ryan Cabrera
4) If I ain't got you by Alicia Keys
5) Don't phunk with my heart by Black Eyed Peas

Munchies of the Year Award
1) Fire noodles at Thai Express
2) Tom Yum Ban Mian at Hougang Green coffeeshop
3) Beef steak at Cineleisure
4) Jedi Mudster at N.Y.D.C.
5) Sushi buffet at Sakae Sushi

Gadget of the Year Award
Palm Zire 72. (I'm so glad I didn't sell you!)

Accessory of the Year Award
Brooches

Word of the Year
"Cool..."

Pastime of the Year
Mahjong. Surprise, surprise...

Blog Entry of the Year
"Growing Old"

Best Blog Design of the Year
Hilary!

Ok, I better stop. Seems like I could go on forever.
Goodbye 2005. Hello 2006.

Posted by Jo at 4:40 PM

Monday, January 02, 2006

See it to believe it

When you can't say it with words, do it with pictures. As promised, here are the snapshots of my sweet December:

Cousin Stephen's wedding

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